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The Wingham Advance-Times, 1979-12-26, Page 12j 1! a ftV M--Qvi aroadb— December 213, 1979— At wit's end by Erma tombeck Someone asked me what my kids were getting for Christmas this year and I said, "I really don't know. Either a chest cold, stomach flu or walking diar- rhea. " iar- rhea." SEASON'S GREETINGS 1 don't worry about them. They - Medium loam ith 100 acres under cultivation, 70 always come up with something 189 ACRES '1s^r even if it's at the last minute. acres in mixed bush, corner property. Asking $90,000. When they were small we BUSH LOT - with good building sites. Ideal location to yet away ' always used to hear stories of from it all: Close to town and ski resorts. Good hunting, fishing Christmas ... about how people and snowmobile country. Asking $12,900. } went to parties or watched the OVER 26 ACRES - With 21 acres of mixed bush, spring creek and big tree at the courthouse being two trout ponds. Good building sites. Price =32,500. ''t up. Once when I was at the SAU EEN RIVER AT ITS FINEST - Forming an "S" curve as it drugstore having prescriptions Ilothrough this 100 acre parcel of mixed bush. Ideal site for filled, I even saw a group of hu ting or fishing camp. Asking $55,000• with very liberal people singing. I didn't know 50, ROLLING ACRES - Highway I what it was all about so I asked g y ocation, 25 workable, pond the druggist. He said, "They're sites and springs, mixed bush, excellent building sites. Asking called carolers and they go out $35`,000. and sing in front of homes and 50 ACRES - Within 5,miles of Mount Forest, 25 workable, bal- once in mature mixed bush. Good pond sites. Asking $40,000. sometimes they'r�invited in for punch and cookies." SUBDIVISION LOTS - Saugeen River flows past and forms "Buf how do they get their westerly boundary of this property. Enjoy your holidays and medication?" I asked. Weekends here now while you are investing in the future. Price THE CHRISTMAS STAR SHINES AT THE ROM "They're not sick and they $23,900. don't need medication," he said. VERSATILE FARMING - Mix in a little pleasure with your work See the night sky as it would have been on the eve of Christ's birth! The McLaughlin Planetarium of the That was the first time I on this 142 acre farm set up for beef plus trout raising and 31. The Royal Ontario Museum, Toronto, presents one of its most popular shows, The Christmas Star, to December realized that not everyone got fishing. The 3 bedroom .home that overlooks fish ponds and 10 Gospel according to St. Matthew records that a brilliant star appeared in the heavens to guide the sick at Christmas. It made me acre, lake is in excellent condition. Asking $165,000. Wise Men of the East to Bethlehem where Christ was born. Since Matthew's account was written, astron- curious about how other people LARGE BEEF AND HOG FARM - 248 acres with 145 being omers all over the world have struggled to explain that miraculous star. The Christmas Star examines spent the holiday. My neighbor to workable, balance in cedar and mixed bush. At present set up some of the theories that have been advanced. the left had four children and the for beef and hogs. Farrowing to finish, 2 silos, automatic Evidence indicates that Christ was born sometime between 6-4 B.C. Astronomical records show that one on the right had two. One day unloaders and feeders. 4 bedroom home, located on main during 7 B.C. a highly significant event, a great conjunction, occurred when the planets Jupiter and Saturn we compared notes. highway. Price $198,000. with 8-7/8% financing. joined in the constellation of Pisces. Since the Wise Men were sophisticated astrologers -astronomers, one "I heard thpt Betty, the LARGE ENOUGH - so you and. the children can get away from could ask, "Was it the sight of this conjunction that lured them to Bethlehem?" each other, in fact you could send them out to the guest house Chinese records indicate that a "supernova", an exploding star, occurred in 1,054 A.D. Was a supernova childless secretary in the next that is located right behind this 3 bedroom modern bungalow. the celestial phenomenon that explains the Christmas tar? Halley's Comet stood hi 1n the morning sk block, and her husband come The Beatty Sougeen River also flows through this 31/2 acre over Bethlehem in A � g Y down on Christmas morning in g August of 11 B.C., an important omen. But it was too early to herald the birth of Christ. property. Price $68,000. The show, The Christmas Star at the McLaughlintheir robes and slippers and open Planetarium recreates all of the astronomical effects their gifts before breakfast." SERVICE STATION AND GARAGE - Doing good repair and gas associated with the brilliant and enigmatic star seen by the Wise Men and allows us to share the night sky "Big deal," said Helen. "We do business in small friendly village. Included in purchase price is as it would have been on the eve of Christ's birth. Still, it leaves the Star of Bethlehem a mystery, or if you prefer, a miracle. Y that.' equipment necessary for this type of business. Selling 70,000 Showtime:: December 26, to December 30,12:30,1:45,3:00 1:45, 3:00 and 7:30 p.m. ; December 31, 12:30, 1:45 and "But wait!" I said. "AFTER gal• gas per year. Doing good repair business and could be 3:00 p.m. THAT THEY GET DRESSED." increased. Asking $65,000• plus stock. "Maybe their drugstore LOCK UP STORE - Selling all types of musical instruments; doesn't deliver on Christmas organs, guitars, tapes, etc. Located in centre of thriving town. Day," said Charmaine. Price $7,500. plus stock. ' "No, I think they go to church KOUNTRY KITCHEN - Restaurant in busy town, seats 40, liquor i and then go to someone's home licence can be obtained. 2 rental apartments plus apartment Bill Smiley for a big turkey dinner with stuf- for owners. Price $69,900, with terms. fing, cranberries, sweet potatoes HOUSE TRAILER - 10 x 60 'BUDDY' house trailer, 2 bedrooms, 4 • and pecan pie." pc. both. Price only $6,900. with $1,500.down. Phone i ' ■ h o n p+ f a m I I y No one said anything for a LARGE BUNGALOW - Located within the town limits of Mount minute. Then Helen said, "I've Forest. 3, large bedrooms all with walk-in closets. Bathroom got to go home and pull together with separate shower stall and door to moster bedroom. 21/2 some clear broth. Jello and acre lot overlooking small lake and surrounding countryside. Seven -Up." Stone fireplace in living room. Above ground pool included in Isn't it strange, in modern my wife about her troubles with and a dejected call from daugh- "And I've got nose drops at purchase price of $79,900. times, how families can grow beating off the bachelors, and ter to say her conference was 2:00, antibiotics at 3:00 and RAISED BUNGALOW - on outskirts of town, .features fireplace apart and be little ,more than telling me innocuous stuff like washed out and we wouldn't see Kaopectate at 3:30," said Char- and built-in bar in rec. room. 3 large bedrooms, fenced in yard well-acquainted strangers when she was going to buy a snowmo- them until Christmas. maine. plus deck and patio doors. Price $51,900. they do meet; with nothing more bile, and would we take the kids Prodigal son phones, now 100 There are a lot of theories as to SOLID BRICK - 3 bedroom home close to downtown. Recently in common, nothing more to thilk while she attended a weekend miles from home, collect, broke, why children get sick at redecorated, large attached garage, good sized yard. Price just about, after the family gossip has conference, and asking me how, unrepentant. He's home now, Christmas. Some say it's the $25,000• been exchanged, than. their Phys- to cope with students who driving his mother crazy because excitement — others contend it's COUNTRY HOME - In small friendly village, % acre nicely treed ieai p "Partial' plates, threatened to shoot the principal he's a health -food nut and won't the exhaustion that makes you lot, spring. creek crosses property making it ideal for your? bursitis, high blood pressure, if she kicked them out of class. eat any of the great meals she is vulnerable. My own theory is that fish pond.Located close to main highway. Only $25,000, Piles? Each of these calls was re- busting to prepare. Result, she we're probably allergic to all that PRE -INFLATION MORTGAGE FINANCING - When you purchase These are the very people who turned, almost nightly, by my cooks one pork chop for me with a ho-ho-hoing and will break out this excellent 3 bedroom solid brick home, located close to slept two or three to a bed when wife, who had thought up more baked potato, some squash and a with something every time we downtown. Lovely pork -like back yard with mature trees. All they were growing up, fought piercing questions and answers bit of broccoli with cheese, she hear happiness. this with only $7,500 down, balance at 11'/. %. bitterly, had the same parents, in the intervening 24 hours. And I eats the saw -dust and stuff he Besides, if childless Betty ever CHRISTMAS PRESENT - that will save you money on ..the 10% endured F1re same ups and downs had to talk to the randbo s rind eats, and I feel like a i got a rectal thermometer as a financing if you purchase this 4 bedroom home located on main g Y, Of the family fortune. Weird. out what they wanted for Christ- Kid brother calls from James stocking stuffer, she wouldn't highway in town. Zoned residential or highway commercial. In most of Canada today, the mas, who had won the latest Bay project to tell me he's alive, know what to do with it. Ideal location for professional offices. Asking $42,500. T old family unit has pretty well fight, and such -like. but has had serious surgery and $3,000. down. ry disintegrated. Those of us who Then came a call from my son, medication, but now feeling were brought up with grand- collect, as usual, who said he was great. He's two years younger parents, legions of aunts and in Florida, on the way home from than I, and is going to retire next Alcohol a uncles, too many sisters (or South America. When he'd arrive July, with a fat pension. This growing problem brothers), and dozens of cousins, he didn't know. Grind, grind. goes over big, as you can are scattered into thousands of Teeth. imagine. There are over 12 million tiny, one -cell units, with little or Sixteen phone calls forprodigal alcoholics in the United no . •13on with the other old Then a close relative um States today and each year jumped son, from friends who seem to another 150,000 are added to familiar cells except for the oc- through the window of a fifth- have received news of his arrival this human wrecking yard. easional phone call or Christmas floor apartment and was pro- by tribal drum. He's never here card. nounced DOA at the hospital. when they call. They all want him Two billion arrests yearly I find this a little sad, but it This spewed a frenzied round of to call back. On our bill. are caused by alcohol, and doesn't really destroy me. The long-distance calls to police, As though Ma Bell wants to rub half of all traffic deaths times they are achangin'. Our relatives, her son and so on. It it in, a bell telephone crew, com- each drug. — be attributed to the drug. — once -warm, once -large, once- also elicited similar calls on the plete with huge trucks, backhoes CNS close families broke into frag- in-line for us. and other vile machinery, menta and we just had to accept Just got over this, intermingled arrives at 8 a.m. every morning, It, as we did the pill, deodorant with frequent calls to great- sounding like Revelations will, and ring -around -the -collar Ecom- granddad, telling him we'd be and tears great holes in my lawn, mercials, women's lib, and other over any weekend now, a call 4o plant a cable, cutting the roots great steps forward by mankind. from a brother-in-law to ask if he of my maples, so they'll all die. That's what I thought. In fact, I could sleep at our house on the It's nice to have family. But if didn't mind it that rrtuch. Fami- way back from a music festival, I'd cut the phone line 20 years "` RMO Limited lies can be a pain in the arm. An arriving at 3 a.m., a call from ago, and put the money into its older sister who still thinks you another 4rother-in-law to ask if stock, I'd be a major shareholder•.'j. are 12 years old and need he could help about the suicide, in Bell of Canada today. straightening out. A younger .r brother who doesn't realize that "SEASON'S GREETINGS" , �. under those dull gray socks of a Harry Martin Lorne Shaw yours is another dull gray ht clay. BENCHWARNIEQ'S 323.3137 � •� a� • me fs96 That's the way I thought. But . . , f� J '. once in a while, for some reason, 4 ACRES - Good building lot in town, high and or no reason, the whole fam dry, good garden soil, nice view. $19,500. 100 ACRE FARM: 85 acres excellent crop land, damily comes roaring out of the I `� COUNTRY HOME -Bungalow, 3 bedrooms, balance spring creek and hardwood bush. 15 all at once, and your What two men competed in the great Mile Franklin stove, full basement and two car year old frame bungalow, large bank barn, Phare i, h hot the wires are Match Race" in Vancouver in 1954? garage on 10 acres. Price only $49,500. close to hwy. $100,000. melting, while Ma Bell sits back with a satiated leer, almost post- coital, and yq, take out a third mortgage on / the house to pay -, your telephone bill. Families don't write any more. 1 They telephone. With the state of our mail service, it's•no wonder. !�*° You could send two Christmas cards in a row to Uncle Ed, LOVELY 4 BEDROOM BUNGALOW Large IMMEDIATE POSSESSION - 3 bedrooms, ' living room with beautiful rock fireplace, rec. recent renoyations, including family room, before you got the letter from room completely finished in cherry wood, Auntie central location. Only 536,000. Agnes, mailed 13 months bar and Franklin stove. This house has many BUILDING LOT - 69' x 136', good building lot. before, telling you that he was - extras and is in excellent condition. $58,500. $8,900' either dead, rt had run off with a i 50 ACRES ON . HIGHWAY BEEF FARM 166 acres, bank barn, strip tease artist. 45 acres That's what happened to us workable, 5 mixed bush, spring stream, implement shed, modern brick bungalow located on N6 Highway. only 12 recently. My kid brother had 9 Y 547,000, Y years old in excellent condition. been taken suddenly and rather COUNTRY PARADISE - 3 bedroom solid brick $110'000' violently ill. We had a couple of bungalow, custom built home, with 2 fireplaces, finished rec. room, patio doors to BUILDING LOT - With town water by $34 conversations from his hos- deck, nicely landscaped with good trout Property. $7,500. pital room in Montreal. He was to pond. 585,000. 12 ACRES - 4 acres clear, pond site and bush. let me know of any change. Total $20,000. silence. " "' inn STATELY - Four bedroom solid brick home, GOOD FARM - 100 acres, all workoble, over After a month of this, I phoned bv�-,.� ./yY (pr family room with fireplace, large lot and flowing spring, bank barn, pig born, imple- my older sister, and asked �f MTt inground heated pool. Good location. ment shed and four bedroom house with whether he were dead. She hadn't - $73,000. modern conveniences. S1 10,000.. a clue. Said he'd just vanished. Fair enough. I wasn't going to ANSWER: Offices in Fergus, Brampton, Orangeville, Shelburne and Guelph. phonThen alio alniliw inof-qns o ung of waw OAA4 GOOD SELECTION OF PROPERTIES AVAILABLE. Then my daughter began lSJ1; a4; '�a�stuuog JaBON of isol Apuol uyor 191 Main StSMount Forost phoning from Moosonee, telling. ., Off ie• Phone 343-4145 0 1. O (7 • 00 O • O4, J ' I 0 O o 0� C�• Q •o O � o ••� C O 00 O O 0O 00 0, o • ` Fond regards to you and your v� family in this'time r of togetherness and good cheer! Thanks for yourfa.ith in us! 0 �T 107 • (�0 Q Oo • C LARGE LOT LOVERS - will really go for this cozy bungalow with oversize country kitchen on a deep treed fully serviced lot on paved street in quiet area of town. Priced at $43,500 and you can choose your floor. coverings. CORE AREA COMMERCIAL - Downtown location makes this well maintained solid brick two storey building a real as- set. Exceptionally nice three bedroom apartment overhead is redecorated with new kitchen and main level is ready for occupancy. Large lot and plenty of parking. Excellent terms of 10%%. RENTAL INCOME This five way rental just off Main St. fea- tures office, three apartments and storage tenancies. Large parking lot at rear and room for expansion. New oil fired boiler for low heating and maintenance. Call us for a show- ing. LOW COST LIVING - three bedroom home, large lot with garage on paved road near Sougeen River. Priced right at $23,900. ATTRACTIVE ALL SEASON VIEW - is always yours with this custom home facing river valley. Stone fireplace in living room, separate dining room and large country kitchen with lots of cupboards and dishwasher included. Two bedrooms on upper level with master bedroom ensuite and two bed- rooms plus TV room on lower level. Basement walkout and .large overhead deck. Priced at $5000. BUILDER'S PACKAGE - 4 acres in town corner lot with some severed lots and balance for SOtOapment. Owner will hold good terms with partial disch..rge. BACK SPLIT - Cute 1100 sq. ft. home on fully serviced lot partly finished and time now for you to choose your special features. Priced at $51,000. LOTS OF SPACE HERE - in this stately older two storey home with four bedrooms, nicely landscaped and low hooting cost. Spring '80 possession. CUSTOM RANCH - A well built large three bedroom plost- ered home with oversize garage, master bedroom is en - suite, extensive kitchen and dining facilities, Finished base- ment with wet bar in recreation room, fireplace, 2 pc. bath, laundry, 4th bedroom and large-ddiaional room for shop, etc. HOG FARMERS SPECIAL - 25 acres on good rood with 1650 sq. ft. new sidesplit home including two car. garage. Featur- ing large kitchen, family room, dining area. Two storey col- oured steel barn set up for 45 sows and all new equipment included. a FARM - 100 acres, mostly workable with five acres maple bush, two storey form house with extensive improvements, good barn and overflowing springs for ponds. Priced at $77,500. BUILDING LOTS - six lots in new subdivision with good rear yard and street to be paved. Builders terms available. BUNGALOW -three bedroom O` O -k bungalow plus carport on quiet street with paved 0- i large country kitchen. VALUE HERE - three bedroom brick bungalow with appeal- ing kitchen, finished basement with extra bedroom, over- size garage and pool. Priced at $48,900. SOLID BRICK - Three bedroom two storey home on large treed lot in good area on paved street. Ground floor family room, galley kitchen, dining and living rooms. Priced at $34,900 - try $5,000 down. ACREAGE - 50 acre corner lot mostly workable with stream and sugar maples at building site. Priced at $36,800 with $10,000 down and good terms at 10%. COUNTRY RETREAT - 1.6 acre parcel with pond near to high- way and access to nearby lake. Priced at $9,500. ROLLING LAND - This 50 acre parcel has gravel for long term investment, scenic high building site and maple bush at rear. Priced at $34,900 with terms. ESTATE CLEARING - Main Street commercial property with three way rental, room for more. Priced at $59,900 HOBBY FARM - 50 acres with 43 acres open working land with balance in hardwood bush. Large pointed bank born in good condition with silo, drive shed and nicely treed building site. Priced at $47,500, FARMER'S FARM - 100 acres level land on paved road with workable and balance in mixed bush plus two ponds. Three bedroom 1'/, storey home has aluminum siding, Sound bank born 42' x 62' and implement shad. Priced at $80,000 with terms and flexible possession. We offer a complete mortgage funding service. Enquiries invited. OFFICE 149 Main St. S- Mount Forest 323-3022 Brian D. Padfield ( Ret.) 323-1906 Member of Grey -Bruce Real EstNft a...J i A