The Wingham Advance-Times, 1985-06-19, Page 24Page 6A—Crossroads—June 19, 1985
+A
Bill .Smiley
Dear old Dad
Probably the biggest piece
off pure poppycock on our
calendar is the Sunday in
June designated as Father's
Day.
It is almost as silly as cele-
brating the birthday of
Queen Victoria (on the
nearest Monday), or adopt-
ing that pretty, but unin-
spiring thing, the maple leaf,
as our flag symbol.
That's because, like
queen's birthdays and flags,
fathers are anachronisms,
things that belong to the
dear, dead past of empires
and gallantry and family
solidarity.
The empire has disappear-
ed, the flag has become
something to quibble about,
and fathers have turned into
cartoon characters. .
WLR have become increas-
ingly a mother -dominated
society. But in trying to
prove that Mom doesn't have
clay feet, we have casually
accepted the theory that
father has a dough head.
The word "father" is
never used any more, 'as a
term of address. The only
place it crops up is in so-
ciological and psychological
terms such as "father,
image" or' father figure."
It's been a wild swing of
the pendulum, and it is a sad
and bitter thing, this
degeneration from Father to
Dad"dy, but I can't help
pointing out that we have
brought it upon ourselves,
chaps, -
The Trojans opened the -
gates and dragged in that
big, wooden horse. The Arab
let the camel stick his nose
into the tent, to keep warm.
Father achieved the same
end by relinquishing the
purse -strings to that brave,
litite woman with a heart of
gold ,and a will of iron —
Mom.
Next, he began to listen to
a lot of third-rate tripe,
mostlyyi,n theformof articles
in women's magazines.
Thus, he fell prey to such
clap -trap as "family t&
getherness," and "being a
pal" to his children, and
"talking things out" with his
wife.
Then, under the bullying of
his wife and the relentless
heckling of his children, he
forsook principles for po-
sessions, and happily hopped
aboard the treadmill of prov-
ing that he could bring home
as much bacon as the poor,
harassed, coronary -bound
character next door.
Slaving like a pit pony, and
attacked for it by his family,
he was still expected to help
with the dishes, mow- the
lawn, entertain at parties ar-
ranged by his wife, and drive
300 miles on the weekend to
visit relatives.
Thus. the comfortable
paunch which was a meas-
ure of Father's success be-
came Dad's potbelly, a sign
that he wasn't doing his 5BX.
Thus, Father's ominous look
and 'cuff on the ear became
Daddy's whine that he would
cut off the allowance. Thus
Father's majestic carving of
the family roast became
Dad's inept spooning out of
the meatballs smothered in
canned mushroom soup.
Not a pretty picture?
Right. Whatare you going to
do about it,,Jack? Will you
join me in trying to convert
Let's
Talk
Social allergies
By REV. LEE
TRUMAN
Beverly had everything.
She had a. very nice figure, a
pleasing personality, intelli-
gence, nice clothes and a
husband who loved her. Bev-
erly also had a nervous'
breakdown.
It was the old story in-
volving a rpotlier-in-law. Be-
fore Beverly and Dick were.
married, he made it clear
that he had a very strong al-
leglance to his mother. He
never wanted mother to be
lonely, and could not think of
her living in an apartment
somewhere by herself.
What he did not say was
that his mother held in one,
iron fist the income from his'
father's estate and in the
other, Dick's spine. Mother
manages to strangle . any
manhood in her son day
after day. She used her
apron strings to make him
dance like a puppet to the
tune she whistled.
This mother was not just
domineering, she had a clas-
sic dictator phobia. Her con-
trol came through keeping
the account and checkbooks.
She was aware of every
penny that was spent, and
managed to either give her
approval or disapproval. She
kept track of every detail of
Beverly and Dick's private
lives, and there were no
secrets. She had a key to
every room, dresser drawer
and box in the house and
made rounds of inspection
which would have done a top
sergeant honor.
Beverly felt like she was
living in a prison and while
she was a very normal
young lady, it was, too much
for her to handle. Her dilem-
ma came to the point of a
hard decision. Either she had
to knuckle under and be the
rug for mama's feet, or she
had to leave the husband
that she loved.
She did not dislike her
mother-in-law. The only
complaint she had was what
I have related. Beverly
could see some of the humor
which this brought aboutbut
the tragic thing was that
Beverly could not decide
what to do and in her indeci-
sion, was being ripped be-
tween 'the two hard choices.
The result was that the third
choice was made for her.
She had a nervous break-
down.
"I shake like a leaf when I
answer the door," she told
me. "It is like I am clinging
to the edge of a cliff. I am
afraid, but I do not know
what it is I am afraid of."
The truth is that the peo-
ple with whom we live are
our greatest hazard to our
mental health. Each of our
acquaintances or friends can
tear us down, or build us up.
Persons who are the clos-
est to us can make us angry
enough to run screaming out
the door. But most of us
'don't scream.' We swallow or
anger, but we find that it
does not digest. The result is
tension, nervousness, and ir-
ritability, which equals
unhappiness no matter how
you put it. Some people are
simply allergic to other peo-
ple's personalities.
Beverly's treatment of her
allergy to her mother-in-law
was not too hard. She took a
motel room away ,,,from
home and she learned and
practiced a few simple tech-
niques of relaxing. She did
the things that she enjoyed,
got a job and earned her own
money. Before she returned
to ,her husband, he had been
well counseled about his
masculine pride and his re-
lationship with his mother.
With both of them working
at what they knew must be
done, they could give mother
importances in small mat-
ters and let her manage
some things. Beverly was re-
ally a free person with the
support of her husband. With
Dick as her husband and not
just mother's son, things
changed. The domination to
which she was very allergic
was lifted and the future
looked bright for them.
Shellfish poisoning
People who eat shellfish
contaminated by the red
tide run the risk of paralyt-
ic shellfish poisoning,
which in some cases can be
fatal. When clean waters
return, the bivalves gradu-
all} . ' ' themselves of the
poison.
dithering Daddy into fear-
less Father?
Shall we grow beards, get
rid of the blubber, pound the
kids once a week, and tell the
old lady we're going fishing
when we damn well feel like
it?
What's that? You agree,
and you'll join the movement
on Monday, but right now
you have to help Mom do the
shopping? All right. Don't
say you weren'tasked.
e
A MAGIC CIRCLE
There are some major
facts that are keys to the
economic outlook. The first
is that the U.S. economy did
not slow down as much as it
originally appeared. Second,
the U.S. Federal Reserve
Board does not want a reces-
sion and will ease monetary
policy until the economy re -
Mainstream Canada
No gain without pain
By Tony Carlson
They say there's no gain
without pain.
That's certainly true of
Finance Minister Michael
Wilson's recent budget, as
the higher sales tax, less in-
dexing and various other
measures will sting some in-
dividuals and businesses.
On the other hand, while
these tax bites may hurt a
little, they won't killethe
patient °and should, if Canad-
ians respond, produce a
healthier economy over-all.
The foundation for this
thinking goes back ore
than. two years, to when the
Canadian Federation of . In-
dependent Business revealed
that Canada could achieve
full employment by 1990.
What was needed, reason-
ed the CFIB, was public
policy that would boost the
formation rate of small busi-
nesses which create the
large majority of jobs in the
economy. Such policy should
also make it easier for new
and existing firms to grow.
A significant step toward
those goals,. CFIB told the
Macdonald royal commis-
sion on the economy,, would
be to increase the amount of
money available for invest-
ment in the chronically
under -funded smalt' and
medium-sized business sect-
or.
Specifically, if $2 -billion a
year could be diverted from
savings into investment in
this sector, enough firms
could be created and grow so
that unemployment would
fall to 6 per cent. Economists
figure that's about as low as
it can go.
At 'that time, CFIBtalked
of improved treatment of
capital improved treatment
of capital gains, of allowing
RRSP money to be invested
in private corporations, of
increasing RRSP contri-
bution limits.
Now Wilson and his ad-
visers have acted on each of
those suggestions.
Wilson announced a life-
time personal exemption of
$500,000 on capital gains.
That is, any individual can
make half a million bucks in
captial gains before having
to pay any tax on the gain.
That alone will make it
easier to pass on the business
to the next generation to say
nothing of making it more
attractive to invest in a suc-
cessful small company.
The budget also allows for.
self-administered RRSPs to
be invested in private,
Canadian -controlled firms
up to a limit. It also lets pen-
sion funds funnel capital into
the sector that is creating
most of the new jobs.
There are other, more
technical tools which Wilson
has put to work, but the long
and short of it is that the bud-
get has the potential to free
up $2 -billion of savings a
year for investment.
This new capital available
will also enable Canadians to
repatriate- foreign-owned
subsidiaries and re -acquire
branch plant operations.
Small firms will also save,
thanks to a freeze on Unem-
ployment Insurance prem-
iums and an exemption from
the five per cent corporate'
surtax.
The effects of all this may
not be immediate, given that
many of the measures are
being phased in.
But, when small business
is healthy, so is the econ-
omy ; and that means more
jobs.'
For that, we can live with a
little pain.
ve
LIVING WITH
ARTHRITIS
by Patrick Baker
Questions About Arthritis
A lot of people have told me
that it's not true that arthritis
can't be cured. They say that
it's a conspiracy between' the
medical profession and the drug
companies to keep arthritis
around because it's so profit-
able for everyone. They said
that everybody is making money
off our suffering. Is that true?
Granted, there are some
people who make money off
arthritis victims. But., a major-
ity of those involved in the
care, diagnosis, treatment and
education of people with arthri-
tis do so because they have a
genuine interest in their health
and welfare and want to see
them resume happy and fulfil-
ling lives. No responsible pro-
fessional would want less and
constant efforts are maintained
to discover and weed out those
whe demand' less. Odds are, if
you go to a doctor, that doctor
will have your hest interests at
heart — not his or her own —
and will give you the best pos-
sible care they can. Have faith.
Keep your eyes open, but have
faith. The odds are on your
side.
I've got arthritis and I've got a
lot of pain. Nobody understands
how much it hurts and why 1
can't do anything anymore.
They don't even want me around -
anymore. Sometimes I even
think my own family hates me.
They won't hate you, but
they sure aren't going to like
you very much.if you persist in
feeling sorry for yourself. Self-
pity can he very dangerous and
damaging. C'mon now. qff your
fanny and back into the world.
It may not be one you want,
but it's certainly all you've got.
Be a little positive - it can
work wonders!
I've got arthritis and some of
the joints in my hand are all
swollen and really look ugly. I
get the feeling that people are
always staring at me and it's
very embarrassing. What should
Ido? •
-
People usually stare at other
people for one of three reasons:
they're curious; rude; or embar-
rassed. Many times they just
can't help themselves. It's the
same 'basic reason why some
people get uncontrollable gig-
gles at a funeral. Regardles
you've got a few choices of
reaction open to you. You can
ignore them; you can say, "1
noticed you looking at my
hands. I've got arthritis. Do
you have any questions about
it?" Or, you can turn around
and stick your tongue out at
them. It'won't accomplish
much, but it sure can make you
feel good. Try it sometime. I do
recommend, however, that if
you're reasonably comfortable
with strangers that you adopt a
middle approach.
«1
Patrick Baker is Director of
National Communications
and Public Education for The
Arthritis Society. Write him
care of this newspaper or at
920 Yonge Street, Suite 420,
Toronto, Ontario M4W 3J7.
M
Canada's
Business
by Bruce Whitestone
vives. As well, the economy
will ultimately respond to
lower interest rates, even if
the mix of growth is unusual
for the third year off a busi-
ness cycle. The major qu
tions centre on the outlook
for inflation and the trend of
interest rates.
The numbers in the U.S.
economy graphically show
that final demand is starting
to revive. Retail sales are
rising slowly, but housing
starts, personal disposable
income, and real GNP all
show that the economy is
rebounding. Employment
gains continue in both Can-
ada and the United States,
automobile production levels
indicate that there will be a
large rise in auto output, and
surveys of business and con-
sumer confidence are posi-
tive.
The primary growth in the
U.S. economy will be auto-
mobile output, housing
starts, and office building.
Strong construction activity
is unusual at this stage of the
business cycle. State and
local spending apparently is
stable, and it seems realistic
to assume that there will be
no significant cutbacks in
spending by the federal
government.
The slow growth of wages
has heartened those who
claim that inflation is dead.
However, employment gains
and a low savings rate will
counter -balance deflation-
ary pressures. •
The main cause of the
slowdown in thepast few
months has been import
penetration, as well as high-
er interest rates and an
extraordinary burst of
spending by consumers last
year, As interest rates fell,
and the consumer resumed
buying, economic activity
resumed its expansion.
The slowing in the U,S.
economy revealed a set of
contradictions in the whole
mix of . U.S. policy. The
United States has enjoyed a
"magic circle" of strong
growth with low inflation be-
cause of large capital inflows'
and a rising external value of
its dollar. Without the influx
of foreign savings, the Fed-
eral Reserve Board would
have found it more difficult
to maintain its anti-inflation
stance. Needless to say, the
upside down reaction to the
U.S. trade and budget
deficits simply cannot con-
tinue, but no one knows when
the U.S. dollar will react to
fundamentals. It is inevit-
able, and the U.S. dollar then
will move sharply lower as
speculation has carried it to
unsustainable heights.
In the interim, import
penetration will jeopardize
the U.S. manufacturing
sector and erode its creditor
position in the .world. Too,
the U.S. dollar will mask the
inflationary pressures,which
are sure to appear once the
U.S. dollar weakens. After
the U.S. dollar does start to
adjust to a more realistic
level, the U.S. Federal Re-
serve Board will have to
change its stance and print
money to make up for the ab-
sence of foreign cash flows to
the United States. That of
course will entail much high-
er inflation levels, and the
subdued level of wage settle-
ments will be replaced by
more upward pressure.
An estimated 300 million
people, mostly in Third
World countries, suffer
from filariasis, a -debilitat-
ing disease caused by mos-
quito -transmitted worms
that invade the lymph sys-
tem. It leads to elephan-
tiasis (in which certain
parts off the body are great-
ly enlarged, and the skin
becomes hardened and ele-
phantlike) and sometimes
to blindness.
tt
Al Dobson of A & B Dobson Sales Limited is
pleased to announce the appointment -of Glenn
Schierholtz as his sales representative. Glenn
invites all his friends and acquaintances to visit
or call him in Palmerston with any of their truck
or truck body needs.
A & B Dobson Sales' Ltd. Phone 343-3521
New shipment of
1985 Hondas "
just arrived and more
on the way
omae:1
SALES & SERVICE
1 153 7th Ave., Hanover.
364-1010
Accord — Civic — Prelude
Test drive one today
SHOP
JUNE
SPECIAL
THE YARN MIL,
438 Bloor St. W.
Toronto, 'Ont.
964.1389 i
I1 sale ends June 29/85
MILL ENDS,
KNITTING WORSTED
& BABY
OZ.
Reg. 35'
SPINRITE
FACTORY OUTLET
152 Main St.
Listowel, Ont,
291-3951.
BastTlre Invites you to .the ...
MEET DON CHERRY - IN PERSON
FOR 4 HOURS DURING OUR GRAND OPENING CELEBRATION JUNE 22
2IIIDOESTWSE's ON SALE!-
.ALLPASSENGER BRIDGESTONE
OFF (M�'
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P155/80R12 Blackwall.
SF -402 All Season
P165/75R13 Whitewall
RD212 Summer
P175/70R13
Raised White Lettered
yr RD207 70 Series
5280 P195/60HF114 Raised
White Lettered
S311 60 Series
P155/80R13 Whitewall
RD401' All Season
6105
88r
3720
9R15 Raised White
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Desert Dueler
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7740 (Limited Stock P215/751114 Whitewall
on 401 Only) RD401 All Season
ROAD HAZARD WARRAN'
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SALE
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1N EFFECT
JUNE 22-29
DISCOUNT PRICES ON ALL
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& MAG WHEELS
ALL BRIDGE
'LIGHT TI
TIRE
35
(Man. Sugg
GRAND OPEI
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KITCHENER
499 Lancat
(at Brldgep