The Wingham Advance-Times, 1984-09-26, Page 24Page- ie--43,oascoa4144. -- .S01.41. .3t; ,',utl.
Shirley Whittington
Summer fantasies:
me he ilines you?/not
findin weekendnews
Homemaker Catches
Huge Fish At
Fun Resort
A middle-aged wife and
mother caught a 15 pound
muskie here this evening
using a simple snelled hook
and a `half-dead worm. Fun
Resort owner I. Mastonished
said he'd never seen a bigger
muskie. "Not caught on a
half-dead worm -and pulled in
by a middle-aged wife and
mother, anyway," he said.
Said Ms. S.W., "They all
laughed at me, sitting.on the
dock with the fishing pole,
night after night. But
patience paid off.' Although
urged to have the monster
catch mounted, Ms. S.W.
refused. "That sucker's
going in the freezer," she
said. 'I've got a family to
feed."
Olympic Hopes Pinned
On Older Woman
S.W., A middle-aged
Mother off four has been in-
vited to join the Canadian
swim team for the 1988
Olympics. A swim coach
spotted the silver -haired
dark -horse athlete.in the pool
at Fun Resort, a remote
northern lodge. "She did
four, five lengths with no
troubleat all," he said. "We
could see the style there.
She'll set the pool on fire in
'88."
Ms. S.W. plans to begin
heavy training sessions in
the Middlin Y Pool in Sep-
tember. "She may not look
like a champ," said one
Olympic spokesman, "but
when she's in the water,
she's a regular Beluga. A
real killer."
Dark Horse Nets
Wimbleton Win
A middle-aged wife and
mother today won the silver
at Wimbleton — the oldest
female competitor in the
history of the fabled. tennis
trials. Authorities pointed. to
S.W.'s backhand as the
wicked secret weapon which.
took the final match.
Asked to comment on her
dynamite backhand, Ms.
S.W. said, "When I see the
ball coming over the side
where I can't hit it, I grab
my racket up here, close to
the string part, and hold it
sort of like a frying pan. A lot
of people have told me it
looked silly, but it worked
today against Navratilova."
Miracle Diet From
Summer ,Resort
A hitherto unknown wife
and mother has discovered a
miracle diet while on a
vacation at a remote sum-
mer lodge. Ms. S.W. says she
lost 10 pounds in spite of
three meals a day, ice cream
in the afternoons and sub-
stantial libations inthe even-
ing 'Said she, "I haven't
gained an ounce, have I? Do
1 983 4 dr., 4 cyl., auto
Mercury Lynx 24001 A
1982 4 dr., 4 cyl., A.S.B.
Dodge 600 Q4296A . .
1982 4 dr., 6 cyl., A.S,B. & air
Granada GL G461 A •
1982 2 dr., 8 cyl., loaded'
TransAm-P62
1982 4-4 spd
Escort Wagon a3416A
1982 4 cyl., 5 spd., 8800 km.
Fiat X19 Coupe V4655A
1982 4 dr., 4 cyl.', 4 spd.
Mercury Lynx T4294A
1 981 2 dr., 4 cyl., 4 spd.
Plymouth Reliant G3512B
1981 2 dr., 8 cyl., A.S.B.
Olds Cutlass Supreme F4492A
1981 4 cyl., 4 spd.,, 2 dr.
Mercury Lynx s43BQA
1981 4 dr., 4 cyl., auto
Plymouth Horizon Z4253A
1980 4 dr., 4 cyl., auto
Plymouth Horizon P82A
1979 2 dr., 8 cyl., A.S.B.
T -Bird L4249A
1979 4 dr., 8 cyl., A.S.B.
• Dodge Diplomat G4038A
1979 2 dr., 6 cyl., A.S.B.
Plymouth Volare u3341
1979 4 dr., 8 cyl., A.S.B.
Olds Royale F4209A
1979 4: dr., 8 cyl., A.S.B.
Mercury Marquis F4141A
1979 4 dr., 8 cyl., A.S.B.
Chrysler Newport G4576A;
1979 Mercury Zephyr 6 cyl. A.S.B.
Squire Wagon G4370A
197'7 4 dr , 8 cyl., loaded
Lincoln Town Car J453BA
1977 4 dr,, 8 cyl. A S.B: -
Mercury Cougar L4522D
1982 6 cyl.. A.S.B. -
F150 Pickup L4258A
1981 8 cyl , A.S.B.
Chev 10 Pickup L4308A
1980 8 cyl., A.S.B.
Chev 20 Pickup L45008
7,250.
9,150.
6,450.
12,900.
6,000.
10,500.
5,850.
4,9550.
8,950.
4,950.,
4,950.
3,950.
4,550.
3,650.
3,950.
4,200.
3,950.
5,750.
4,450.
4,850.
2,950.
7,750.
5,850.
5,650.
HARVEY KROTZ
FORD
Wallace Ave, N. Listowel Car City
291-3520,
I look fat? Wait till I suck
everything in. There. Is that
so bad?"
The apple-cheeked matron
will not reveal details of the
miracle diet. "Watch for it in
the National Enquirer," she
says.
Unknown Wins
International
Photography
Scholarship
A Canadian wife and
mother with no professional
training is the winner of the
Otto Focus .Memorial Inter-
national Scholarship Award.
Said Jo -Jo Kirch, interna-
tionally acclaimed photo-
grapher who adjudicated the
exhibition. "The winning
photo shows the woman's
husband child and mother-
in-law, standing on a dock at
Fun Resort on Wet Lake.
Notice how the husband's
head is cut off. And how the
telephone pole is apparently
growing out of the head of
the child. These are very
symbolic filmic statements.
Also, the deliberate lack of
focus and terrible lighting
gives the subjects a feature-
less, timeless quality.
Believe me, 'this woman
should win the scholarship.
She should spend the rest of
her life studying how to use a
camera."
Woman Wins Lifetime
At Remote Lodge
°Ms. S.W., a guest at Fun
Resort on Wet Lake.has won
a lottery which permits her
to spend the rest of her life
lying around the pool at this
beautiful remote summer
lodge. Her employers,
Imperial Earplug Inc., have
agreed to give her the rest of
her life off so that she may
enjoy her good fortune. "She
never did much work around
here anyway," said J.
Waxman of International
Earplug. "Who'll miss her? I
won't."
A spokesman for Fun
Resort said everyone is most
happy to have Mrs. W. as a
permanent guest. "But we
really aren't looking at a
long-term arrangement. The
way that woman eats and
drinks, she'll be dead .in a
month."
France and Britain de-
clared war on Turkey on
Nov. 5, 1914.
Nancy Travers was severely burned
last winter. She needed plasma, a
blood component.
She got that plasma
BECAUSE PEOPLE
friendsforlife
GAVE BLOODThe Canadian Red Cross Society
J
DON'T LET QuauKGRaSs BECOME.
A MORE cOSTLYPROBLEM.
ONE LITRE OFQN�'PER ACRE*
�ANu�,�S�ATNECAR ER
Quackgrass is a costly thief. It robs your land
and your .zw d.
Plowing only compounds the problem by
chopping up the quackgrass roots and spreading the
node's around. This causes the quackgrass problem
to get progressively worse. A small patch soon
becomes an entire infested field. That can end up
costing you in less productive land and lower
crop yields.
Roundup' is the affordable, effective solution.
Rbundup at one litre per acre* (2.5L/ha) this fall
will effectively control'quackgrass through to
next year's harvest. It works on those nodes and
rhizomes so it really gets to the root of your problem.
And, unlike atrazine; Roundup leaves your .
cropping options open. You're free to rotate to
the most profitable or most necessary crops.
So, with gains of more productive land, choice
of best crop, and increased yields, how can you
afford not to use Roundup?
*2.5L of Roundup per hectare in 50 to IDOL clear water per hectare.
ALWAYS READ AND FOLLOW LABEL DIRECTIONS.
RoundupJD.Is a registered trademarhof Monsanto Company.
Monsanto Canada Inc., registered user. 'c Monsanto Company, 1984. R•FET2-84
Monsanto
'AFFORDABLE