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The Wingham Advance-Times, 1984-09-12, Page 32Pe,ge:ls• 'Orossr000ds-Beet U, 19$4 1.1111111111111111111111100, Bill Smiley Poor planning imffassiowowils It's still to danged hot and dry to get steamed up about anything, if you can figure out that mangled metaphor, so I'm going to give you somethi.ng light, yet not without weight. This came to me via Jack Ryan, who clipped it from someone w.ho had reprinted it from the newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workmen's Compensation Board. Therefore, it's at least fourth hand, but I'm sure it will tickle the risibili- ties of any person who has ever had to deal with the civil service, whether it be Revenue Canada, the County Weed Commission, or the Sewage Committee of the Town Council. It's a bricklayer -s report for compensation for an accident. It might be entitled Poor Planning. Here it goes: "Dear Sir: I am writing in response to your request for' additional information in Block 3 of the accident re- porting form. I put "Poor Plarr'ning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should ex- , plain more fully and I trust that the following details will be sufficient. "I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the acci- dent, I was working alone on the roof of a new six -storey building, When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over. Rather than carry them down by. hand,.I decid- ed to lower them ill a barrel by using a pulley, which, for- tunately, was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. "Securing the rope at ground level,'I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loadedthe bricks into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied it slightly to insure the slowdescentof the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident form that. my weight is 135 pounds. "Needless to say, I was jerked off my feet so sudden- ly that I forgot to let go of the rope. Due to my surprise, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the build- ing. "In the vicinity of the third floor., -•I met the hazard, which was now proceeding in a downward direction at an equally impressive rate of speed. This explains the fractured shoulder. "Slowed , only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not 'stopping until the two fingers of my right hand were knuckled deep into the pulley which 1 mentioned in .paragraph 2 of this correspondence. "Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence off mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the exruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. "At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground - and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now, de- void of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 pounds. "I refer you again to my weight in block 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor; I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lac- eration of my legs and lower body. "Here my luck began to change slightly. The encoun- ter, seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. "I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the pile of bricks in pain, unable to move, and watch- ing the empty barrel six storesies above me, I again lost my mind and let go of the rope. "Sincerely XYZ." I know that Workmen's Compensation Boards get stories' like this, and even more fanciful, but they're a hardnosed lot, and I hope this bricklayer got full com- pensation, and was out ACROSS 1. Igloos, to Eskimos 6. Play the odds 11, Dwelling place 12. Dexterous 14. Evasive ex- planation 3 wds. 16. Take part in a game 17. Unctuous 18. Grampus 20. Sand hill 21. Light tan 22, Multitude 25. Taj -, Agra attraction 26. Lobbies 27. Divide into ' two parts ''28. Florid ' 29. Cylindrical and tapering 30. Elder son of • Zeus ' 31. - Island, site • of U.S. navy • yard Shrill bark • More than half of a total ' 34. Rook or jackdaw . 38. Remained with a task until com- pletion : 3 wds. 41. Irish port 42. Passageway 43. Nautical miles 44. Salute DOWN 32. • 33. 1. Hinged fastener moonlighting on a construc- tion .job t'wo weeks later, purely fdr his imagination. We have a pretty good, social assistance system 'in Canada, one of the best in the world, even though I'm one of the "Middle-class" who get stuck for most of it. There aren't too many people really hungry in this country. There are very few people who can't get medical attention when they need it. We talk about a "poverty level" in this country that would be riches to most of the people in the so-called Third World. I was talking to my son the other night, swatting mos- quitoes in the back yard. He's lived in a dictatorship. I've fought against one. We talked about the best place in the world to live. We don't always, even often, agree. But we decided, unani- mously, that Canada, despite its vagaries of politics, economy, and weather, was just about the first choice in the world to be born, re- create, find a decent living, raise a family, and die. With- out someone breathing down your neck every minute. I think I'll stick around, as long as The Lord legs me. Where else can you feel mor- ally superior to a vast nation next door to you? ENRICH SAUCE For a richer dessert or sauce, combine 15 millilitres of flour or 10, mL of 'corn- ., 2. Ancient Greek coint. 3. Actress • Freeman -4. Short- tempered 5. Poseidon's domain 6. Walking through water 7, Throw into .confusion K. Thomas -, • English poet 9. Cosmic cycle. 10. Skip with a glancing re - hound' 13. Portico 15. Parts of speech 19. Sect 20. Small boat 21. 'Affluence 22. Sightseer 23. Site of PDR's home: 2 wds. 24. Cerises and scarlets 25. Bog 26. Brawl ' 27, Ship's place of anchorage 29. Samples food 31. Sacred choral composition 33. Sorghum variety , 34. Coconut'fiber 35. Stratagem 36. Eye amorously 37. Sharpen; stim.ulate 39. Pallid 40; Syncopated music • c R 0' s S w 0 R D starch with one whole egg or two egg yolks, says Food and Nutrition Specialist Monica Beaumont of the Ontario Ministry of Agriculture and Food's rural organizations end services branch. ®®®�� UE2N IIIA. ELE IWI EIE 1 1UU U nano ivav EMU 1:101EQ E]©UU 1E1®1?lEIEI 'OCICI[t7EU 01813113EILI 130113100. ®pig®Ea E11300©E1 ri7E1E Ii] DEIC11isi E7E7.C7 El�tIUU ©Ud I E7E]hIU 11:10101U©ODU E+1©CIE1EJI7 I]E1C]DU 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 e 9' 10 13 11 ■• �� 12■■ ' U 14 ■■.� 15 ' ■�.■ 16 ■■■ 17..■■ 16.19 22 23 24 20 ■• 21_ ■��■ ■■■ 25 ■■■ 26 27 28 29 30 S1 32 UU 33 ..■ 34 35, WM ■ 3940 ■.. 41 42 ■■.� 43 r.■r 44 ■■�■ Frozen Food • Baking Supplies • Nuts • Milk • Cheese • Pizza - •- FROZEN FOOD SPECIALS Canada -Packers pack: Bacon Wrapped Filets Heat & Serve pack. 51b: in Batter Haddock McCains (oven ready) Superfries Omstead Fancy . pack. 4 Ib. Garden Mixed Vegetables Omstead pack 5 Ib. Fancy New Peas Redpath pack 2 kg White Sugar Thompson pack 1 - 2 Ib. Seedless Raisins 6 x 4 oz. Pack: 5 With Peanuts salted Mixed Nuts Windsor Iodized Table Salt Graham pack 1 Ib Cracker Crumbs No 1 (bring your container) Canadian Honey Natural Smooth or•Crunchy (bring your container) Peanut Butter pack 1 pack 2 kg 7.99 10.99 lb 2.49 3.19 3.30 1.19 .99 2.25 .59 1.59 .89 .99 • 2 Ib. Ib Ib ssage OPEN SUNDAY 1 - 5 P.M. SHOP EARLY - SUPPLIES LIMITED 90S Vliallaoe. ave' N Liitto ' ei. 291.47 '7 Kilo'n. Sat-. '9. 0 tot.- 0 pm, Thum, 8( rir Till 9' pm. STORAGE TIPS Store apples in the re- frigerator in a ,perforated plastic bag or in the crisper drawer, says Food and Nu- trition Specialist Monica Beaumont of the Ontario Ministry of Agriculture and Food's rural organizations and services branch. Store larger quantities of apples in a dark, Well -ventilated room at zero degrees Celsius to four degrees Celsius. Cover with perforated plastic sheets to' maintain the hu- midity and prevent the apples from shrivelling. Having trouble balancing your budget? Try selling in the - Classifieds Place an ad today The Wingham Advance -Times 357-2320 Tim Baines CflevOIgsCadIiIaC will beip You Into a brand new 04 Chevrolet Oldsmobile or Chert Truck OYER 60 UNITS IN STOCK! And they all must 90! 2 OF EACH 1984 Cavaliers 1984 Omegas 1984 Olds 88 Royales 149% 36 MONTH TERM AVAILABLE FINANCING 9 IM STOCK 1984 CI1OVY Pickup Trucks /1 4 OF EACH. 1984 Cutlass Supremes 1984 Chevettes 1984 Full size Chevrolets -1984 Citations 11.5414792 *moo-...- 1 OF EACH 1984 Monte Carlo 1984 Corvette 1984 Celebrity 1984 Cadillac 1984 Chewy S•10 Blazer 4 x 4 GM 36 MONTH 60,000 KM WARRANTY on Citations, Omegas, Chevettes 8 111 STOCK Asea Chevy S90 PICKUP trucks stO we want you ba 890 Wallace Ave North, Li towel, Ont N4W 3H2 (519)2911730