The Goderich Signal-Star, 1986-02-26, Page 43ShoxveaSe'
,.. page.17
Lost in the confetti:..
from page 16
didates for marriage while those who
resist are less mature and not ready for
ma{•,riage.
"One couple, both 18, who had been liv-
ing together told me they knew all ther't
was t� know about marriage so they refus-
ed to take the course and I never saw them
again. But, another couple in their late 20s
welcomed the courses and were surprised
the course only lasted for five weeks," he
says.
Once in a while, the course helps couples.
to discover they shouldn't be getting mar-
ried. Out of 25 couples who take the
Engaged Encounter course each month,
three or four couples split up every year.
-Sometimes people find this is not the
person I thought l was marrying. They
could find they have completely different
values," he says.
"We try to get them to take the course
as long before the marriage as possible. It
promotes a greater realism so they can
pull back if they have to."
Avoiding marriage when the couple is
not suited or ready helps to avoid mar-
riage breakdowns later on and all the`
repercussions in both financial and emo-
tional terms.
"Some people go into marriage with in-
credible naivete. They get concerned about
human tights when you place restrictions
.about their getting married but they're not
concerned about the rights of the kids
when thctfamily breaks up." •
"Whenever someone questions my right
to deny to marry a couple, I tell them I'm
the guy who gets up at 3 a.m. to referee a
family battle and I'm the guy who goes in-
to the schools and looks into the eyes of the
kids who are suffering from fancily
breakdown," says Father Hardy.
Making sure couples are prepared for
marriage is ars attempt to prevent the
anguish of separation and divorce, he says.
It also helps to strengthen the marriage
and the family.
"'the most basic preparation for mar-
riage is at home while you're growing up.
That's why family is so important. As we
prepare a couple's marriage, they'll help
prepare their kids. And, strong families
mean a strong country," he says.
Spending as much as $85 for marriage
preparation is a pittance compared to the
thousands of dollars couples spend on the
wedding itself, says Father Hardy.
And, because he's heard of coriples who
travel great distances to purchase the
perfect wedding gown or garter, he insists
couples travel to London for the courses.
He adds, however, that he would like to
see similar courses set up in the area.
Though Father Hardy admits he has no
statistics to back up his belief, he says that
couples who take the courses have a
greater success rate with their marriages.
In most cases, couples come away from
the' course reaffirmed in their desire to
inarry each other.
As one couple remarked after par-
ticipating in Engaged Encounter, "We've
grown to love each other more, yet when
we arrived on Friday night, we hadn't
thought that would be possible."
ne RestFox Yn u
-( photo by R. J. Nephew )
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