The Goderich Signal-Star, 1983-11-02, Page 4PAGE 4-%GODERIOH SIGNALSTAR, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 2r 198$
DAVE
SYKES
Kids say the dared things was the tlpt
title of a book authored by onene
television host Mt IJnklater.
While this agent is undoubtedly too young
to have even a fleeting memory of the
popular 1950s show featuring Mr. Linklater,
I've heard some flattering comments. But
kids do have a nasty habit of saying the
darndest things at the darndest threes.
Brutally honest in their dealings both with
peers and parents, kids tell it like it is
without any malice of forethought.
listening to and engaging in serious
dilaogue with son Bradley, I often question
his perspective on life and more im-
portantly, his particular situation in this
world. His outlook is interesting. Sample the
following.
After repeatedly being told that he must
wait to assist dad with a project and that I
would tell him when he could help, he looked
up at me and asked "Is it when yet?"
- Being in a particularly ornery mood one
day and having just learn�e
ttd how to open the
in
ming lin and out the hoer use through
those open doors. After being told he would
have to stay indoors will he could learn to
listen he replied, "Maybe I could learn
outside."
One Saturday morning at 8 a.m. two
grubby little hands pried my eyelids open
and this little boy had his nose pressed
against mine. "Get up.dad," he urged. "It's
quarter after clock already. ", -
Ome weekend, while the male contingent
of the family was enoying a quiet lunch
together, my son inexplicably turned,
pointed to me and said. "You're not a man,
you're just a dad."
One evening, the little dynamo hears a car
drive past the house. "Who was that driving
by my house?"
"I don't know Bradley."
"Who was it?"
"I don't know. There are lots of people in
this world and I don't know all of than," I
respond In a se{ni-ex sperated state.
Number one son tarns to, his mother and
proglalms, "Somebody in the world just
drove by in his car."
Bradley again wakes his father early in
the morning and hopefully asks, 'You don't
have to go to work today, do ya?"
"Yes I do, sorry pal."
"Do you have to go to a council meeting
this morning?," he asks knowing I attend
council meetings.
"God, I hope not."
After playfully chasing seagulls on the
beach one Sunday afternoon and baying no
luck in catching the elusive but noisy birds,
he turns to his father and says, "I would like
to buy a seagull."
While in the process of giving the little guy
a bath one evening after a hectic day he
notices my wedding ring.
"Are you married dad?"
"Uh, huh," I offer continuing to apply
suds to his body in the never-ending battle
against dist formationaq
'°Where did you get married?" he flaks.
"In a church in Cambridge," the father of
the child responds.
"To n4onuny?" he asks.
"Yes. T got married to mommy."
"When I get bigger I think I will marry a
lady," he says rather matter of factly.
"Oh God; I certainly hope so, Bradley."
There have been other gems promulgated
by that little fellow as he grows in social
discourse and the art of conversation. Many
are forgotten, while others, as an exercise of
this paper's moral integrity, have not been
mentioned.
Sometimes little people are surprisingly
candid and logical in their approach to life. I
would like to hear from some other parents.
No doubt, you remember some of the
humorous, candid, sincere, logical and
funny sayings your kids produced. Send
them along or give me a call.
Member:
eNA
Second class
mail registration
number 0716
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A boon to airport
This week, town of Goderich officials proudly unveiled
the new terminal building at the municipal airport.
Numerous people had a hand in the project and to the
dedicated people who have served as members of the
municpal airport committee over the years, the finished
product speaks well of their efforts.
It was a job well done.
Much has taken place at the municipal airport since it
was used as an elementary flying training school during
World War II. For years the County of Huron maintained
the airport and while they still have a financial stake in
the facility, ownerhsip and maintenance was assumed by
the town of Goderich in 1974.
The administration and operation of the airport is
handled by the airport committee consisting of elected
officials representing the town, the county and Colborne
Township. Three members at large, represent the users
group or the committee.
Since the inception of the committee, the work to
upgrade the facility has been, at times, slow and
frustrating. Committee chairman Dick Wright told the
crowd at the opening Tuesday that the terminal was the
realization of a dream that dated back to the formation of
the committee in 1974.
A great deal of planning has gone into upgrading many
facilities at the airport. One of the most significant ac-
complishments of the committee was the development of
a master plan, later approved by the Department of
Transportation and Communication. The plan was
designed to pace the development of services and
facilities to meet traffic requirements and needs of users.
No doubt, at times it appeared that development was
either too slow or non-existant. The committee improved
the fuel -handling facilities at the airport and increased the
fuel grades made available to the public. The runways
were improved and lighting was installed on the main
runway as well as a rotating beacon. Parking and storage
facilites were also improved.
Over the past year, in co-operation with the provincial
government, the committee has seen the construction of a
new three -bay maintenance garage at a cost of $130,000
and of course, the terminal building, at a cost of $150,000.
Both new facilities were constructed under the terms of
provincial funding programs, which ostensibly only points
out that taxpayers' money has helped upgrade our airport
facility.
The maintenance garage and terminal are welcome
additions to the development of the municipal airport and
should serve the needs of aviators and special interest
groups for many years. Committee members spoke
confidently about the terminal's presence having a
positive effect on increased traffic.
One thing is for sure, it can only help attract business
and visitors to the Goderich Municipal Airport.
Just solutions please
A recent issue of the Toronto Globe and Mail carried an
advertisement which must surely have caught the eyes of
some our politicians.
The heading in the ad stated boldly, "Governments
invited to solve their problems." Now that's a compelling
start if we ever heard one. Just find us a government
which doesn't have problems.
Getting down to the gritty, the message proceeds: "The
World Government of the Age of Enlightenment an-
nounces its readiness to solve the problems of any
government regardless of the magnitude and nature of the
problems -political, economic, social, or religious; and
irrespective of its system -capitalism, communism,
socialism, democracy or dictatorship."
"Governments are invited to contract with the World
Government of the Age of Enlightenment to solve their
problems on the basis of cost reimbursement after the
target is reached."
The advertisement does not say so, but we would expect
that the line forms to the right, with Prhne Minister
Pierre Trudeau and President Ronald Reagan hand-in-
hand at the front.
Incidentally, the man who makes the offer is Mr.
Naharishi, the leader of the Transcendental Movement,
who concludes his message thus: "With the belssings of
Guru Dev, life on earth is now at the doorstep of the
perpetual sunshine of the Age of Enmlightenment."
Many countries, regardless of politics, geography or
standing in the global community, would be actively
seeking solution to a variety of problems. But to this point
in history, only brash politicians have bragged of having
all the solutions to the world's problems.
Manpdwe
Grid!9 ,t t�. `'�.'
“- , Io`Y valfe Sykes,:
DEAR READERS
SHIRLEY KELLER
I was a bit amused one morning last week to
pick up my daily paper and read there a barrage
of descriptive words from the soul of Gordon
Taylor, Progressive Conservative MP.
Taylor had received an invitation to an even-
ing with Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau and was
trying to impress upon the members of the House
of Commons that he did not intend to accept.
Among other things, Taylor said when he
received the ihvite, he "coughed, wheezed,
hawked, expectorated, vomited and puked."
Poor man!
In total, the rather distinguished looking
Taylor (his photo accompanied the article
bordered in red) used 80 adjectives. For your
convenience ... and for my own satisfaction ... I
have not only counted them, but I have arranged
these adjectives in alphabetical order and
analyzed them. Here they are:
A - angry, annoyed, abrased, adjured. B - boil-
ing, blemished, bewildered, befuddled, baffled,
baited, beseeched, blandished, blarneyed, blub-
bered, bothered, buttered. C - chafed. confound-
ed, cajoled, coaxed, comfortless. D - debased,
defiled, defiled again, devilled, decoyed, debas-
ed again, disconsolated, dejected. E - enraged,
envenomed, entreated. F - furious, fuming, fur-
cated, forlorn. G - galled. H - heartsick, heart -
sore, heartbroken. I - indignant, incensed, ir-
ritated, insulted, implored, inveigled, incon-
solable, inconsolable again. J - none. K - none. L -
lured. M - maddened, miffed, mystified. N -
nauseated, nettled. 0 - offended, outraged,
obsecrated, obtested. P - peeved, perplexed,
pleaded, puzzled. Q - none. R - riled, rasped. S -
soured, smeared, stained, soiled, stunned,
solicited, soulsick, supplicated. T - triturated,
tintinnabulated. U - umbraged, unconsolable. V -
vitiated, vulgarized. W - wheedled, wounded.
XYZ - none.
The big winner was the B category with 12. G
and L wound up with one each. Only three were
used inore than once. Not bad, Mr. Taylor,
especially if it was off the top of your head, which
I doubt.
In response to this outburst by Mr. Taylor I
have prepared an open letter to the honorable
gentleman which I encourage each of you to clip
and mail to him.
Dear Mr. Taylor,
As a Canadian concerned for the health and
welfare of every citizen, I must encourage you -
nay, implore you, - to consider resigning your
seat in the -House of Commons immediately
before it is too late.
Judging from a recent news story outlining
your feelings about an invitation to an evening
with the prime minister even before his weekend
in New York with Barbra Streisand, I note you
are in a highly agitated state and obviously
under a considerable amount of stress. As we all
know, stress is a killer ... the quiet cause of many
devastating ailments.
To be upset to the point of physical illness is a
sign you may already be in the last stages of
severe debilitating depression.
Did you know that there are allophones
everywhere, even right here in Goderich? I
found out about it only last week. I also
discovered, to my utter astonishment, that I
am one of them.
We knew about the francophones and
anglophones, of course. While their official
dialogue is so often passionately involved
with what is called the "injustices of the
past", they could be forgiven for not notic-
ing that we have left the past and that in
reality a full one third of our Canadian
population does not belong to either one or
the other of the phone groups.
Sooner or later the Quebec authorities
were bound to have a vague feeling of miss-
ing something while rhapsodizing about the
rights of the francophones and tut -tutting
the naughty and forever guilty anglophones.
i,00k, one of them said, there are others! As
it is absolutely necessary for everyone to be
a phone, let us call these people allophones.
It makes things neat and tidy; all the people
are counted for and it is easier to refer to
them, if ever there should be a necessity to
consider them at all.
Done. Prof. Charles Castonguay of Hull,
Quebec, a University of Ottawa mathemati-
cian and a crusader for French unll-
ingualism, was commissioned by the
Quebec Government's Conseil de la longue
francaise to prepare a study showing how
the "Quebec's French sky is falling", as a
critic put it rather unkindly. Prof.
Castonguay used the expression
"allophones" when he explained his study.
He said he was referring to Italians, Por-
tuguese and others. (I was born in Estonia.)
Even then these people figured only as
potential francophones in his deliberations,
as he talked about French linguistic "gains
from the allophone population'.
Prof. Castonguay has a self-inflicted pro-
blem. His problem will not be alleviated by
hanging peculiar name tags on other people.
Allophones indeed! If he only understood
what disservice he is doing to his beautiful
language by making it a tool of force for
captives.
How is the battle of the apostrophe going
in Aylmer, Quebec, where a business sign
says simply Grant's? Since the Quebec laws
all signs must be in French only and as the
apostrophe is English, Bill 101 is now face to
face with the apostrophe. The violator can
be fined from $100. - $2,000. - or the sign
could be removed or destroyed at the
owner's expense. So far no jail term is men-
tioned. Such things are like scenes out of an
old Peter Sellers' movie. State vs.
apostrophe.
Can you imagine this kind of nonsense
happening in Toronto or Vancouver, in Clin-
ton or Goderich? If the government told the
citizens of Ontario that no signs or ads are
allowed In French, Ukrainian, Chinese,
Polish or any language other than English,
or that in all shops, offices, factories and
other es tablisherelento the working language
must be English and English alone, even if
all the employees are French or Italian - the
people would fall down in laughing fits. Such
a government would be laughed out of office
in no dere.
This is where one gets a bit confusOJ.
Recently the leaders of all three parties in
Parliament passed a resolution calling on
Manitoba to guarantee language rights in
the Nation's Constitution for the province's
small French-speaking minority. It was
stressed how this was "Parliament at its
finest and most unified, although the three
leaders alone spoke and no vote was taken,
in order to preserve the illusion of unity.
Maybe we should have started to laugh then.
We certainly should hot have surpressed
- our giggles when Secretary of State Serge
Joyal, Ontario Liberal Leader David Peter-
son and the New Democratic Party Leader
Bob Rae invited Premier Davis, passionate
ly and eloquently, to increase official bil-
ingualism in Ontario when Quebec has been
doing officially the exact opposite, namely
quite fanatically entrenching French unit
ingusiism.
I have no need to be on a mea culpa trip.
When the emperor has no clothes, I do not
have to pretend that he is in fine silks and
satins. I can laugh and point. Allophones of
the world, unite!
Although I am not a psychiatrist, a
psychologist or even a swami, I suspect your are
also overworked. Your thesaurus finger must
still be twitching.
But take heart. The tintinnabulation to which
you refer is probably an unrelated symptom,
triggered most likely by the antics of your own
associates. The bells really were ringing, Mr.
Taylor. You didn't imagine it.
I do have a couple of queries, though. Under
the J, could it possibly be that you are jealous
you don't sit in the seat of power held by
Trudeau? That many of your plans for power are
(under the K) kaput because of Trudeau's ability
to hang in there, even now when the country
seems consumed with hate for the man? That
you are (under the Q) quarrelsome now because
your quadrant politics has been quashed by the
voters so often you are queerly qualmish and
have begun to quail and to quake as your quarry
quite clearly qualifies as someone who won't quit
easily?
Mr. Taylor, xerosis must have driven you to
yammering like a zealot (under the X, Y, Z).
Relax, Mr. Taylor, before you crack up. From
the tone of things in Canada, your own Mr.
Mulroney will get his big chance. And if you have
half as much good sense as your vocabulary sug-
gests, you'll get out now before things really get
hot ... and you really get discombobulated as
some suggest you may already be.
An interested voter,
Shirley J. Keller.
ELSA HAYDON