The Goderich Signal-Star, 1982-04-21, Page 4PAGE 4—GODERICH SIGNAL -STAR, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 21, 1982
DA
• /
YKES
•
My ego has been dealt a devastating blow.
For today, I learned, thatdespite my
seething , masculinity I would not be con-
e sidered the ideal, man. A shocking revelation
to be sure.
And yet, while you shake your heads in
disbelief, let me expand on the evidence that
has cast serious doubt on, my miniscule
masculinity.
Now this picture of the ideal man has been
gleaned from the suspect brains of ladies
who bothered to answer a survey in
Glamour magazine. So, we're not talking
about a mickey mouse poll here. This is a
highly accredited and verified survey.
.The survey drew a response from over
1,000 ladies between the ages of 18 and 35,
who were asked what turned them on when
they met a man and what was their fantasy
of an ideal man. When the final tabulations
were collected, the composite picture of the
ideal man called for a tall, muscular, never -
married older businessman who holds a
powerful position and is well read. he would
,. of course, have a predilection for bikini
underwear but 'would never Wear gold'
chains or pinky rings.
Sounds like quite a guy doesn't he?
Physically, I didn't even make the charts
as women showed a marked preference for
a tall, muscular man and the remainder
preferred one of average build.
The women also prefer:`ed a successful
business man at the top of the professional
list, followed by doctors and athletes (in a
second place tie, depending on income) and
lawyers. Not once, was there even a hint of
the beleaguered journalist in the listing.
Not only must the ideal male be tall and
muscular and successful as a, professional,
na siree, women are more demanding than
that. This god must also wear bikini un-
derwear, while a small percentage of the
females will settle for simple Jockey or
boxer shorts.
Other appealing attributes included
business suits or jeans, beards and
moustaches, curly hair and hairy chests.
There you have it guys. Nag, nag, nag. It's
always something. First you have to look
good, then be successful and then they show
a preference for boxer shorts.
Oh, and by the way. Seems there's a good
percentage of women who simply like men
earning in excess of $30,000 a year. No
mention of the tall, muscular and curly
chested stuff in that category.
Perhaps it was a bit naive and presum-
ptuous on my part to suspect that men of my
stature would have been on the wanted list.
And while,qts I mentioned earlier ' these
grey bits, that it came as a surpris , there is
a certain amount of relief knowin Men,
find you resistible.
Rnt it does lead to some idle speculation
vJY
on how many young ladies out there are
gnashing their teeth subsequent to the
pronnul4ation. that yours truly doesn't come
close to the composite of the ideal pian.
Surely there was erroneous information
' passed along somewhere.
Nobody said life was easy though.
Considering I don't measure up on any of
the criteria ,proposed by the women folk in
the survey, (I don't even wear boxer shorts
or bikini underwear and $30,000 sounds more
like a mortgage than a salary) it also makes
me suspect of the missus and her standards
or ideals in the selection of a mate.
What persuaded the little lady to want to
grow old and grey with this skinny scribe?
Was it my wins me smile, razor-sharp.
wit, sparkling personality, sardonic grin,
the way I toss my head back m that cute
little manner, my....
I think I'll leave well enough alone. se
4,C
A,
BLUE
RIBBON
AWARD
1979
Second class
mail registration
number -0716
SINCE 1848
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A new'beginning
'Welcome to a new Canada.
Offit:ially, we have been recognized as a unified nation
for 115 years but the signing of the constitution Saturday
marked a fresh beginning for Canada. .•
Prime Minister Pierre Trudeautas now appealed for a,
new sense of national optimism to what is the beginning of
a newtask for Canadians. Queen Elizabeth II proclaimed
the new constitution before thousands of Canadians on
Parliament Hill Saturday.
Many Canadians rejoiced in the historic moment as the
constitution represents a coming of age for Canada, but
the full maturation process still lies ahead.
It was 115 years ago that Queen Victoria assented to the
British North America Act that created the Canadian
federation. An 'expansive and spar3ely populated - land,
loosely linked by the hasty construction of a railroad
system. It was an ominous beginning for a new nation, but
soon provinces joined the federation and built Canada.
• Now we have our own constitution,` through much
foresight, bickering and compromise on the part of the
federal and provincial government. And yet, only nine of
the provinces have consented to the revised constitution.
Quebec's absence was noted in the address by Trudeau
but he indicated, that the failure of the referendum was
evidence that thsilent majority in Quebec are content to
make history.
,,,„Aside from that, one has to wonder if the irony of foul
weather can beused a barometer to measure the'suceess
of the path chosen by the people. Our constitution was
proclaimed in a rain storm and those of a superstitous
nature could argue we are in for stormy weather f_ om
here on in.
The constitution means something different to everyone
and to others, it means very little. Certainly there is a
large measure of pride to be extracted from the fact the
constitution is Canadian and reflects a sensitivity and
recognition of the diversity and destiny of the country.
Ouraspirations as a nation.
We have realized a certain maturity now but we still
have a lot of growing up to do. While the constitution has
relevance now, it is a foundation for a fledging nation and
will guarantee rights for future generations,
The simple act of passing a law does not directly lend
itself to a strong and unified nation. That will come with
maturity and the work and dedication of people proud to
call themselves Canadians. D.S.
Salute volunteers
This is National Volunteer Week in Canada, a week set
aside and dedicated to the men and women who volunteer
their time and effort for the benefit of the community.
Volunteers are an. essential ,and integral part of any
community and their efforts are much in evidence in the
town of Goderich and it is fitting that their efforts be
acknowledged this week.
The volunteer comes fn many forms and in several
cases their work is performed quietly and efficaciously,
going unnoticed amid the bustlings of a world wrestling
with a recessives economy. In that sense, the role of the
volunteer is proliferated.
If you take time to consider the impact of the volunteer
on this community,, you should realize the value of the
services rendered, not only in terms of concrete con-
struction of facilities, but simple human kindnesses ex-
tended to others.
The work place of the volunteer ranges from visits to
nursing homes and hospitals, to the purchase of needed
equipment for the community hospital, organization of
minor sports, work on town committees for the bet-
terment of the community to the work of the numerous
and excellent service clubs who provide opportunity for
youth and contribute greatly not only to structural
facilities but also to the moral fibre of the community.
To list all areas affected by volunteers is impossible but
certainly almost everyone has volunteered their time,
services and expertise at one time or another in a local
project. This paper has featured the heroics of volunteers
at one time or another in feature stories but we know
that hundreds of others work quietly simply for the
satisfaction of helping others.
It is in this space, that we salute the effort and
dedication of all who have and will offer their time in a
voluntary capacity. Your efforts are vital to the growth
and stability of a small town.
The town will recognize volunteer week with a
proclamation and councillor Elsa Haydon has also urged
all councillors, and others, to recognize the contribution of
volunteers by taking them to lunch this week.
It's a fine way to offer appreciation. But, if you can't
take a volunteer to lunch this week, at least offer your
thanks in recognition of their valuable contribution to life
in this community. D,S.
Program deserves support
A newly -established pilot program in Huron County, to
provideservices for epileptics and their families deserves
solid support. Funded at .the moment by a Canada
Community Development Grant, the intention is to work
with victims of epilepsy and their families. It is estimated
that there may be as many as 1,000 epileptics in Huron.
One of the important aims of Epilepsy Ontario, the
sponsoring organization, is to better inform the public
about the nature of the disease and to help parents and the
victims themselves to cope with the problems It presents.
As the victims of epilepsy approach adult years and
later, as they seek employment in the workplace they
frequently feel the rejection of those about them who have
no knowledge of the disease, often associating it with
some form of mental handicap. Such is certainly not the
case. In fact, some of the world's most famous leaders
were epileptics. However, the seizures, usually of short
duration, are often acutely embarrassing to the victims
and potential employers tend to steer away from job
commitments to them.
The fact of the matter is that epilepsy seldom affects
either mental or physical capabilities beyond the time of
the actual seizures. And many epileptics, conscious of the
difficulty of persuading emq}lloyers to hire them, are often
more than ordinarily conscientious in their work when
they do find employment.
Though the disease has been known for thousands of
years, modern science has yet to provide a cure. Until that
happy day arrives clearer understanding of the problem
will do much to alleviate the emotional hazards faced by
its victims (Wingham Advance Times)
Spring flow
By Dave Sykes
DEAR READERS
SHIRLEY KELLER
Everybody's got an ' angle these ' days.
Everybody's trying to makean honest buck - and
from the sounds of the tales of woe making the
roytids, it isn't as easy as it used to be.
aybe that explains why there are so, many
'deals' available. Slick salespeople with all man-
ner of merchandise to peddle are„vying for the
attention of a shrinking market. It's dog-eat-dog
out there.
Yes sir, to make your mark' these days you
have to have an angle. And the newest and most
imaginative I've heard of for a long, long time is
the fellow who thought up an unusual messenger
service
For a mere . $50, this sharpie promises to
deliver your message to your dear departed one
in the hereafter.
You don't believe me? It's true.
It works like this. You give your message to
the plan's mastermind. Along with your $50 of
course.
He, in turn, gives your message to•a terminally
ill person who agrees, upon death, to take the
message to the "other side” for a fee of $10.
I guess you have to simply trust the message
gets delivered correctly. And to -the proper par-
ty. I doubt there's an adequate check system in
place, to determine the success of the mission.
According to thefellow who dreamed up this
new way to earn a living here on thisearth, it's
an idea that's. catching on with many people.
Already, arrangements have been made for the
delivery of something like 500 messages.
I've been trying to figure out what kinds of
messages would be most popular. I suspect that
messages of love and devotion would rate high on
. the list. .
And maybe messages of the opposite sort
would be numerous as well. There would be
something comforting, I suppose, about being
able to tell somebody what you think of him after
you find out that he left his .fortune to somebody
else.
But there are other `messages' that it wouldlie
good to have delivered to recipients in eternity.
You could want to send word about upcoming
marriages, the arrival of new babies, family
deaths, the change in the economic conditions,
posthumous honors, unfinished business, hockey
scores and who knows what else? ' •
It's kind of fund to speculate isn't it? A whole
new thought process in a way.
But the thing that intrigues me most about this
whole thing is the innovation involved in this kind
of scam. •
Is it illegal? I wouldn't think so, particularly
since there will be -no Concrete, evidence that the
transaction is unable to be completed.
Is it honest? It's hard to say. Surely the clients
are sincere about the messages they send. And
probably the message carriers are sincere about
delivering the messages - if it is indeed possible.
And maybe the mastermind is even sincere
about the probability of getting the messages
through. Who's to say he can't? '
• When you think of it, it's- a , stroke of pure
genius. There are always those with messages to
go, always those going and always those who
have gone. It's not a service that will ever reach
its. full potential in one lifetime. • .
Of course, it must be concluded by all message
fenders that there is a life after death. And that
will.be the most difficult aspect of the whole ser-
vice to sell I would think. -
And of those who do acknowledge a life after
death, it will likely be appealling only to those
who thinkthat people in the hereafter= wherever
and whatever that is - are. still bothered about the
things that go on here. ,
But even given those odds, I predict that
message sending to the great beyond will .
become a fashionable, gutsy kind of thing to do
for -many people with $50 to spend - and a hope
that somebody on the other side will get the
word. :.
They say the way to amass great wealth is to
find a need - and fill it.
I have a sneaking suspicion that somebody out
there has hit on a way to make a bundle at least
-for the short term. .
The price is right - and it sure beats sitting
around in those 'dark, scary seances that have
been entertaining people for decades.
Take a volunteer to lunch this week
Dear Editor:
Volunteers to a great deal
of work in all kinds of fields
and areas. The time or
money they spend in the area
of their interest and concern
improves the quality of life
in the community.
Volunteers go about their
work simply and quietly; we
get into the habit of taking
their contribution for
granted. Although the work
carries its own reward of a
degree of satisfaction, it is
good and necessary for the
community to recognize this
contribution.
This is National Volunteer
Week. Let us pay tribute to
all individuals, groups and
corporations who give of
their time, energy or money
to their community un-
dertakings.
it is such a small thing to
do, but it helps focus at-
tention on the importance of
the subject - take a volunteer
_ETTERS
to lunch or dinner this week!
Sincerely,
Elsa Haydon
The law
of conquest
Dear Editor:
Ref. to Sovereignty of the
Falkland Islands.
If these specific islands
are the subject of dispute as
to ownership, so is all of the
world. Under the social
system that we had,
ownership was decided by
conquest and possession.
Because of the power
developed to blow us all to
oblivion, thenations have
formed the U.N. tosettle
international disputes.
Britain has agreed to the will
of this council, ` and their
action is condoned by some.
Argentina has violated
international law that was
compiled by the U.N., with
an act of aggression, by
invading the Falkland
Islands. The United States is
acting as a mediator in the
dispute, however, until
conditions are restored to a
sitfilar state that existed
before the invasion, such as
replacing the present troops,
with an impartial force as
the U.N. or something
similar, mediation would not
be accepted by the British
force, and rightly so.
The question is, are we
going to support Inter-
' national Law, or are we
going back to the old law of
conquest and possession?
The ones who are mem-
bers of the U.N.,. if they wish
to continue to be members,
are legally hound by
International law to support,
the British forces, and if they
do not, they ere lax in their
responsibilitities of their
duties, and they sould be
penalized or fined.
Sincerely,'
N..1. Minaker
Navy reunion
being planned
Dear Editor,
A reunion to celebrate the
75th anniversary of the form-
ing of the Royal Canadian
Navy will be held in the Win-
nipeg Convention Centre,
May 3 to 5, 1985.
In order to formulate plans
for thio event, we wish to
contact as many former or
presently serving members
from the R.C.N., R.C.N.R.,
R.C.N.V.R. or Maritime
Command. Any interested
personnel are asked to write
to the undersigned for fur-
ther information.
L. A. Williams,
Publicity Committee,
Naval Reunion
Winnipeg 1985
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