The Goderich Signal-Star, 1981-03-25, Page 4D
PAGE.4—GODERICH SIGNAL -STAR, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 25, 1981
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BLUE
RIBBON
AWARD
Second'class
moiLr-egisfr-ation
number -0716•
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•
This- business of being a new parent is
adding a few curves to an otherwise crooked
and abnormal lifestyle.
But I can't say that I mind all that much,
yet.
Becoming a dad for the first time is a real
learning experience but unfortuneateay
exper°ien,ce can also be painful. The thrigs
you learn. •
The job of bein' a dad didn't appear to be
that difficult at first glance, but first im
pressions are often misleading. I mean the
little suckers don't do much except eat,
sleep and let go with the odd chorus of waa
waas to let you know they're around.
I figured there was no problem to thisl
child rearin' game. Keep them fed, slap on
the occasional diaper and then chuck him
into bed for a few more hours of sleep. Life is
so easy when reduced to simple terms.
Well, sad to report, it didn't quite work out
that way. The youngster does everything
required et a three-weelt vita, namely eat,
sleep, cry and deposit surprises in the
Pampers, but not- in that order and in
varying time lengths.
No definite time schedule has been
established so the little guy isn't quite sure
whether he's supposed to sleep for four
hours or cry for four hours. Hopefully, he'll
get that . end of his life straightened out
quickly for father's sake. And for his own
sake, if he wants to see his first birthday.
Everyone tends to make a big deal out of
neophyte fathers changing their first diaper,
exaggerating the incompetence factor. I
have come to the conclusion that diapers
simply aren't made to fit kids. It's an idiot
test and Ifailed miserably.
' These disposable diapers are a cinch, I
was told. Just fit them snugly around the
youngster and fasten .the sticky tab to the
diaper's exterior. Quick and easy, no mess.
Not so, disposable- dads. It's a sure bet
that as soon as the messy diaper is removed.
the little guy nails the front of my shirt with
a quick release.
The time lapse between changes must be
in the neighbourhood of .05 seconds other-
wise the changer gets bombarded. And I'm
convinced the little kid knows exactly what
he's doing and his aim and range are getting
better by the day.
And these new diapers are heralded as the
greatest thing since pantyhose but fast and
easy is just. a_ euphemism for impossible.
They're big enough to wrap around the little
guy a couple of times and I'll be darned if I
could find the holes to put hisllegs through.
They just don't make diapers like they
used to.
One of the basic rules of changing wee
ones, I have been told, is to make sure the
diaper fits snugly around the legs, to
prevent emissions from sliding out and
soiling everything in sight.
The instructions wreak of simplicity but
first, flailing arms and legs must be sub-
dued, which doesn't leave a free hand to
secure the diaper.. By the time I got the
diaper around the wee one, it somehow
managed to cover his chest as well for added
protection. And my snug fit had his Little
legs turning blue and hanging limply at
precarious angles.
After relieving the tension and getting
everything in just the right place, the sticky
tabs don't stick. Imagine that.
Now I don't want to apply .too much.
'pressure but frustration setsin and I begin
pounding -the tabs with closed fists in hopes
of ending this marathon session.
The little guy responds with loud wails
that brings mother to a frantic rescue and
with a few nifty moves the clean diaper is in
place.
Now,I am totally convinced the wee one
will toilet train himself by six months rather
than face agonizing change sessions with the
old man.
SINCE 1848
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clear mandate
The voters of Ontario give Premier William Davis and
his Conservative Party .a clear mandate in the 32nd
, general election in the province ah -day. •
Davis and the Tories rallied to a majority government
at the expense of the'New Democratic Party while the
__Liberalssheld onto what they and made littlegains.
In the final count the Tories Will send 70 members to the
Ontario-Legislature,_I2_more;members than.sat with the
minority governor ,electedi 1977- „ , .
All of those suits Caine at the expense of the NDP who'
dropped 12 mea bl fs• te. 21. "from, 33. The Liberals and
• leader Stuart Smith Will go back to°the Legislature with
the same numbers, having elected 34 members.
The vote would indicate that Ontarians are asking Davis
and his Conservatives to boost the'faltering economy of
the province and speak on their behalf in the hassles over
oil pricing and the constitution.
The election win was the fourth for Davis and ended six
years of minority government in Ontario.
The 44 -day election campaign almost slipped byl, the
voters and in many ridings it was difficult to discern that
the province was hi the midst of an election. That
apathetic attitude was evident in the voter turnout that
slipped dramatically . from 1977 figures. Even in the
ridings of, Huron -Bruce and Huron -Middlesex, where
turnout is traditionally high, the final numbers indicated a
definite apathy towards the whole affair.
While the public turned a deaf ear on the proceedings
the media and party leaders turned the election into a
selection. of leadership. Davis projected an image of a
strong leader and was confident that his BILD program
could restore a sound Ontario economy to its former
prosperity.
The tory campaign portrayed Davis as the man who
ALT
i1rw •, yrs -r u
In Goderich last year the number of alcohol-related
accidents increased. An increase in willful damage and
vandalism can also be attributed to alcohol.
Police Chief Pat King would like to do something about
'that and has instructed the force to use an ALERT
machine on a random basis in town this week. Police will
be stopping drivers and checking for excessive amounts of
alcohol to curb the rise in accidents and drinking drivers.
The ALERT machine (alcohol level evaluation roadside
tester) has been used by several detachments of the
Ontario Provincial Police and the program proved suc-
cessful in diminishing the nutnber of drinking drivers.
The roadside screening device does not give exact
readings but works this way: when a motorist blows into
i
My feet are cold. 1 am wearing half a
dozen pairs of socks, but my two things that
are attached to,the ends of my ankles still
feel like blocks of ice.
Pourquois? Well, the arena is atad colder
than the nice spring weather outside. That's
right, gang, your bleary-eyed columnist is
being held prisoner by several hundred
noisy pee wee °hockey players at Young
Canada Week.
I've considered pitching a pup tent at
centre ice for the week.
When one spends so much time in a minor
hockey atmosphere, one can categorize the
people that also spend much time in a minor
hockey atmosphere. You can't find easier
stereotypes anywhere else.
Firstly, you have your basic average pee
wee hockey player. The pee wee hockey
player is 11 or 12 years old. He is primarily
characterized by a large mouth.
"Hey, lady! Take my picture beating the
crap out of my best friend! Hey, lady! You
better put a picture of me in the, paper
•
could heal with the. provinces and the federal government
for the good of Ontario. The voters went along with that
age projection.
Liberal Leader Smith began the campaign by
negatively attacking the Conservative track record and
economic policy with the slogan We're Number10. Smith
was directly attributing Ontario's poor economic per-
formance to Tory policy and claimed the_province had the
poorest showing in the country. -
Oder in the camaign "Smith was probably more ef-
fective in resorting to passionate pleas, asking voters to
just give the Liberals a chance and insisting they were the
viable alternative.
For NDP leader Michael Cassidy, his first election as
party leader was a big disappointment. Although he
vowed to stay on as party leader through another election,
he watched his party dwindle from 33 representatives to
21.
Cassidy basically plodded through the campaign at-
tacking issues on economy, rent control, medicare, day
care and equal pay for women in the labor force. His
message may have been too basic and uninspired and the
party was relying more on the candidates to retain the
party popular vote.
But Cassidy is not in the mold of Stephen Lewis and
although he has held the leadership reins for only two
years, his performance may now be suspect and subject to
review.
The Liberals and NDP were battling the organization of
the Conservative Party and couldn't pull it off in a 44 -day
campaign
Historically a low voter turnout means the return of the
governing party and Davis now has his mandate. D.S.
•
the machine,it gives a pass, warn or fail readout. A fail
reading would warrant a trip to the station for a
breathalyser test. Refusal to blow into the ALERT
machine is a serious offence.
Use of the machine is resulting in a substantial increase
in the number of drivers charged. Subsequently, use of the
machine may decrease the number of persons willing to
drive under the influence of alcohol.
The machine will be used in Goderich for spot checks oil
a random basis and Chief King hopes the department will
have a machine of its own next year. But at least
Godeerich drivers have been warned that the testing
procedure is in effect.
Now drivers will have to be on the ALERT or take up
walk' D.S.
scoring that winning goal! Hey, lady! Can I
use your camera? Hey, lady! You shouldn't
smoke so many cigarettes!" Etc. etc. etc.
All pee wees dress the same. They wear
their team jackets and a wool tam, giving
the impression that what you are seeing is a
cloning process. They also play hockey with
little sticks and pop cans on the cement
floor. This will give you a headache in 45
seconds.
And then you have your basic average
hockey mother. There are two kinds of basic
average hockey mothers: the type who 'gets
right into it' and the kind that are there
because they had to drive.
The mothers who get extremely involved
. in the game make me giggle. They sit
behind the scorekeepers' bench with
blankets over their knees. "Norman, that
was a stupid penalty!" they shout. "Nor-
man, you are not skating, fast enough! I'll
buy you a pizza if you score a goal, Nor-
man!"
The mother who has to pack seven team
Reflections
By Dave Sykes
EAR READERS
BY SHIRLEY J. KELLER
Were you one of the hundreds of eligible voters
in Goderich and area who didn't get out to vote
last Thursday?
Were you sick ori that day? Were you stranded
at home.? Were you without transportation?
Were you too late for the polls? ,
Or did you just not bother?
If you fall in the latter category, read on. For I
have an untested, non=scientific theory about
folks like you.
I've been observing you for a long, long time.
Contrary to popular belief, you aren't the
citizens who are too apathetic to get involved in
at, . _ ins.:-F..a.r.f at:
tori many cases, you "indifferent" voters
are the real disturbers in the community - the
vocal minority some people call you. You are the
more militant types - the potential placard
bearers and -picketers, the marchers and the
demonstrators.
Given the right set of circumstances, you
"can't -be -bothered -to -vote" types can stir up
more dissatisfaction in one afternoon than the
rest of us in a month of Sundays.
But you need a cause to get you motivated. And
just about any "anti somethings" cause is the
right cause.
You are impatient. You simply can't stand the
time it takes to get things done through normal
channels.
You are often the thinkers in the community.
members in the station wagon and drive 56
miles t to the game usually sits in the arena
lobby and drinks hot chocolate. She often
glances at her watch. She is late for her
bridge game.
The next basic average stereotype is the
hockey father. As a rule, hockey fathers
embarrass me. I don't know why, but they
do.
Many hockey fathers wear thejr team
jackets from when they themselves played
hockey. Men in team jackets bother me. I
don't know why, but they do. Some hockey
fathers feel it necessary to give the referees
a hand officiating the game.
"Aw, come on! Dontchaknow a body
check when you see one, ref? Who's paying
ya, ref? Come on, Norman! Skate skate
skate! Get up Norman! You're offside
Norman!" Poor Norman.
Sometimes, a hockey father will become
slightly overzealous and jump up on the side
of the boards. This embarrasses his son and
his wife and me. i don't know why, but it
You are the ones who delve into dozens of
situations with verve - but not to find the truth.
You're looking for vindication.You want proof
that all your negative vibes are correct and that
the routine solutions and the usual systems are
useless.
You have answers. But they are of the ruthless
variety. Ramrodding is your style. It's your way
or no way. There's no grey. Only black and
white.
There's nothing tactful about you. And you»
make no apologies to anyone for the way you see
and do things.
I've surmised' you stay home from voting
because it seems hire such a pitful protest to the
anger- andflSJ ation yJtlreallyfeel,
I believe you don't mark your X on election, day
because you really can't be supportive of anyone
who aspires to join the government's "club" of
elected men and women who you suspect "sell
out" for popularity and plurality.
I've come to see you as insightful individuals
who have a real grasp of what's wrong with the
system. But I've also come to understand that
you will never make any meaningful im-
provements in that system until you undergo a
change of attitude.
You probably would have- more success if you
bothered a little more about elections. If you
• bothered a whole lot more, in fact.
You should be bothered enough to face up to
what's good 'about the system - for there are
does.
Basic average pee wee coaches are a
tolerant bunch. They can be seen carrying a
clipboard and asperin. I like coaches,
especially the ones that give their players a
pat on the shoulder after every shift.
And this brings us to your basic average
Young Canada Week Daily News staffer. As
the week goes by, you will notice increasing
bags under their eyes and increasing
numbers of socks on their feet.
They spend copious amounts of money on
coffee, hotdogs (hold the onions), donuts,
and can be seen throwing pee wee hockey
players down flights of stairs. "Get off the
typewriters! If this game goes into over-
time, rm gonna scream! How many ways
can you write that one team beat another
team?"
By the end,of the week, they are simply a
few crumpled messes quivering in the
corner like jelloo mumbling -something about
not particularly enjoying the game of
hockey anymore.
some good things about it.
You should be bothered enough to meet your
responsibilities head on in a mature fashion.
You should be bothered enough to accept the
fact that someone else isn't going to carry your
banner into the battle for you. You're going to
have to do more than make the bullets. You're
going to have to be ready to fire them too, and
stick around for the return volley. And the
second and third encounters with the enemy.
You should be bothered enough to show some
stamina. You should be bothered enough to stick
with it until something positive is accomplished
through you.
You should be .,bothered enough to do more
than preach and protest, Yon should bebotbe:'ed
enough. to std your chin out - not once or twice
but until your good ideas take root.
But if you can't get that bothered about things,
you should at least be bothered enough to vote.
That's the very minimum that you should do
when you won't do anything more.
Afterall, things never get so bad they couldn't
get worse.
Think that one over carefully before the next
election, whether its federalreprovincial or
municipal.
Before you deliberately decide to stay home
from the polls because you can't be bothered, ask
yourself just how bothered you want to get. How
bothered do you have to be before you will be
bothered enough to Oto something constructive
eabout your situation?
cath
wooden