The Goderich Signal-Star, 1987-05-06, Page 3PAGE 4 —GODERICH SIGNAL -STAR, WEDNESDAY, MAY 6, 1987
I have to give my mother a great deal
of credit.
Afterall, the woman merely survived
life for 30 plus years (I'm not saying how
many) with me for a son which is
something of an accomplishment, I would
boldly submit.
Life with this kid, morns and dads,
wasn't all prompt, courteous responses,
good manners and broccoli munching
without a stiff fight.
Now I know what you're thinking. But
yes, my youthful good looks, my winsome
smile, my boyish charm and my angelic
nature belie the fact that there was
enough of a hint of mischief in my de-
meanor to stir up a little trouble in my
life.
A.ctually, given the right conditions and
the right frame of mind, I could stir up
enough trouble to make my life
miserable.
But mothers can overlook all that stuff
DAVE SYKES
when prodigal, truculent sons offer
semimental, er sentimental, cards and
garishly ornate gifts on Mother's Day. It
tends to smooth over all the rough spots
that have cropped up over the years.
While mothers,. and this correspon-
dent's is no exception in this department,
are big enough people to overlook minor
character deficiencies and flaws in their
offspring, they have an innate ability to
recall the most obscure incidents.
My son is of the firm belief his mother
has eyes in the back of her head and her
ability to read the child's complex mind
has him mystified. Mothers seem to
develop and hone those kinds of super-
natural skills.
While time has the ability to heal, it
'doesn't seem to make much of an impact
on a mother's memory. My own mother
can recite chapter and verse on this
scribbler and is fond of reconstructing
the events around certain misdemeanors
allegedly perpetrated by myself.
Most kids would just as soon tuck away
five or ten years of their life, but parents
take great delight in•regurgitating almost
every single event in a child's life bet-
ween the ages of eight and 18.
It can be rather embarassing. But it's
one of the few avenues of recourse av-
bailable to parents. Just when you think
your life is on course, parents can reduce
you to rubble by recalling a few wayward
moments in your life you'd wished the
world would have forgotten about.
It's called a 'otcha and it's one way in
which parents can get even for all those
anxious moments and sleepless nights.
But, while parents are somewhat profi-
cient at recalling the generalities of such
incidents, time has eroded their ability to
quote the truth with any great clarity and
much of what is offered is embellished.
It tends to turn meaningless incidents
into humorous and entertaining stories.
But then, I:'ve been accused of doing the
same thing by my life partner.
And so, on Mother's Day this Sunday,
mother will lovingly reflect on the time
her son accidentally broke that expensive
crystal bowl and attempted to glue it
back together, or the time I fed putty to
the dog, broke the windows playing golf
and baseball, tied some younger
neighbourhood children to the verhanda
pillars, cut the cord on the electric hedge
trimmer, and the number of times the
landwaping was virtually obliterated
because I had the immediate world on
the front lawn engaged in some kind of
sport.
It's kind of a Mother's Day ritual and I
believe it's therapeutic.
Mother is starting to come around, but
after 30 plus years she still doesn't
understand her kid. And the fact I am
gainfully employed on a full-time basis is
a source of amazement.
But then there are some things mothers
just don't understand.
Opinion
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Here's to you, mom
�lil.tl,;li L 11161;W. I iliU
•
The following text was submitted -by a reader.
In a way, mom, your job is done. ti
I grew up and you managed to survive it. Lately, however, when I think back on those
terrible= wonderful years when I was growing up, I realize how many times I should have
told you this: "I'm sorry, I'm grateful, I forgive you, I love you."
Now that I'm a, mother:myself, I understand how important the words are. So now, while'
there's time, let me say them.
First; a few belated thank you's.
,Thank you, mom for:
Giving me tap dancing lessons when the rest of the world was laughing at my knobby
knees.
Listening to my spelling words every Thursday evening.
Telling me the facts of life, even the ones you weren't too sure of yourself. ,
The drum majorette costume you made when I was 10, the felt skirt with 33 yards of pet-'
ticoat when I was 13 and the car on Sunday afternoons when I was 17.
Telling me I was pretty when the mirror wouldn't.
Buying me black chinos with a belt in the back and an angel blouse so I could express my
individuality by looking exactly like everybody else in school.
I would also like to say, since I'm sure I never have before, that I am eternally grateful to
you for:
Not laughing at me in my white lipstick or in my first pair of stockings hitched up so tight I
couldn't bend my knees.
Having three children and so giving me the two best friends a person could ever have.
Not smothering me with your expectations.
Your faith in God and me. ,
Saying, "What pimples? I don't see any pimples."
I must also tell you, mom, that I forgive you once and for all for:
Trimming my bangs till they were perfectly even and one- uarter inch long.
Month after month after month of butterscotch oatmeal okies.
I,iver, kidney stew, duck soup. .
Giving my fur hat with the puff ball on top to cousin Patty. I Yes, I still remember that
hat
Sending me upstairs for your bobby pins every night when we both knew monsters lived
under your bed.
And finally, mom, I love you dearly, so dearly, for:
Giving me room to grow, to make mistakes and to find out who I was.
Your pride in me, warranted or not.
Letting me, even now, be somebody's baby.
Your openness and your honesty.
Believing in me, accepting me, loving me without conditions.
011 yes, there is one more childhood gift I must acknowledge at last. I took the offering,
nochalantly and selfishly. But I know now that your final gift was the most difficult a mother
can give -you let go. •
You realized that there is a time to bind and a time to loose. 1 hope I'can do the same some-
day, because in letting go you permitted me to build a new, mature relationship withry u -
one built on mutual respect, admiration, and caring rather than guilt, indebtedness, id
duty.
You have become both my mother and my friend.
For all these gifts mom, and for all the ones I'll never know about, happy, happy Mother's
I)ay. „
Maitld1::;d clubhouse construction
o be completed by mid -summer
2,5 YEARS AGO
May 3, 1962;
Construction started Wednesday on the
new clubhouse at 'Maitland Golf course.
With the contract let to Ken Hutchins Con-
struction Company of Goderich, completion
of the modern building is expected by. mid-
July. An "open -house" will be announced
later, during which the public will be invited
to inspect the spacious premises. The two-
storey building will be of cement block con-
struction to a height of six feet above ground
with the remaining 'portion finished in red-
wood clapboard. A roomy, full-length porch
off the main lounge will overlook the river
and seventh green. Feature of the main
floor is a lounge with 'an adjacent boar-
droom or private dining room and a com-
plete, kitchen. The lower floor will contain
the working area. Designed by architect
Charles E. Volker of Waterloo, the new
clubhouse will cost about $30,0'00.
•
The unanimods nomination of Elston Car- .
diff for the Progressive Conservative can-
didacy in Huron is confidently expected by
local officials of the 'Huron County Pro-
gressive Conservative Association. The
nomination meeting will be held ,Wednes-
- day, May 9 in the Legion Hall, Clinton.
Guest speaker for the`occassion will be the
Honorable George Hees, MP, Federal
Minister of Trade and Commerce. Asked as
to the probability of opposing nominations
at the Wednesday meeting, Mr. James Don-
nelly said "I can foresee only one nomina-
tion at the moment. Of course, these,things
are not prearran ed and there always is the
possibility that e or more nominations
may turn up at the meeting but I truly don't
think so." Mr. Car f is the present sitting
LOOKING BACK
member for Huron in the federal house.
Wednesday's meeting will commence at '8
p.m. '
50 YEARS AGO ,
May 7, 1937:
The opening of the trout fishing season on
Saturday was closely followed by a "believe
it or not" story brought back from the
Markdale region by Jim Lowry and Joe
Mutch. They caught their first trout, a
beauty, ,by hand and used it asea "teaser".
hIt worker too, for they hooked 15 fine trout
during their stay. ' The men were near a
wharf, in ,shallow water, when they saw a
good looking trout nosing around with about
three feet of line'trailing from a hook in it
mouth. Sneaking towards it with extreme
caution, one snagged the line with an oar
blade and the other plunged his arms in the
water to grasp the fish. The line was attach-
ed to Jim's line, the fish' attracted others
and the successful day began.
At the meeting of the Old Home Week
committee on Monday evening, a note was
received from the Goderich Salt Company
stating that the company purposed erecting
an arch of salt barrels as its contribution to
the decoration of the town. It is hoped that
other firms, as well as lodges and societies,
will make plans at an early date for their
part in the reunion decorations and pro-
ceedings. .' delegate from the Stratford
Boys Band waited upon the committee and,,
communications were, received from other
bands which are prepared to come and
"assist in the celebration. These and other
matters were transferred to committees for
consideration and report.
70 YEARS AGO
May 3, 1917:
In recognitipn of the stressful times and
the call forfood production, in both town and
country, demanding that all should devote
their energies to necessary work, it has been
decided not to hold the summer school
which was planned for Goderich this sum:-
mer
um=mer under the auspices of the Presbyterian
church.
In order to meet the peculiar conditions
existing this year, it has been arranged that
the jury and the non -jury sittings of the cir-
cuit courts in Ontario shall be combined,
and most of these sittings have been ar-
rangd to take place after harvest. The date
for Goderich is November 5 with Mr. Justice
Sutherland as the presiding judge.
Mrs, Jou,athan Miller, who has for some
time been living with her sister in Detroit, is
in town making arrangements for the
disposal of her hotel property at Carlow. An
auction sale will be held at the premises on
Wednesday, May 16 when the hotle building
and all contents will be.offered for sale. The
building, which is known as the Carlow
hotel, is a solid brick structure and has been
kept in good repair. The contents also in-
clude some valuable articles and the sale
should be of general interest.
It's getting so a guy is afraid to "flick
his Bic" in the privacy of his own home
anymore.
What with the government banning
smoking in public places, government of-
fices and just about everywhere except
your Uncle Jack's back yard, nicotine ad-
dicts must be getting more nervous and
fidgety then they already were.
What's next? A complete ban on tob-
bacco product advertising? Sorry, that's
already in the works. The government is'
now in the hypocritcal position of allow-
ing a product to be cultivated, processed
and sold relatively unrestricted, while at
the same time denying the producers the
right to market their product in the same
manner as everyone else.
The City of Toronto has even gone so
far as to consider a ban on smoking even
in outdoor sports stadiums, such as Ex-
hibition Stadium, where a non-smoker
".would have to inhale very hard indeed in
order to noticably blacken his lungs with
nicotine.
Since the postion of the smoker, the
tobacco grower and everyone else '
associated with the production of coffin
nails, is practically indefensible – they
pollute the air, cause cancer and heart
disease, and are mean to small children
and animals – I won't even try to make a
case in their favor.
Or, should I say our favor, as I am still
unfortunately numbered among the
defilers of atmosphere.
Instead, I am going to suggest the
government go all the way – make it
outright illegal to smoke, fume, combust,
or even get a little hot around the collar.
Of course such a drastic measure
would require an equally drastic means
of enforcement. We would need to create
a Whole new law enforcement agency.
The RCMT (Reduction of Cigarette
Misuse Team), better know as "The
Weed Police," would be charged with the
apprehending and extinguishing those
_apprehending
of-felofyto'ba'cco posession--and-
distribution.
Armed with high Compression water
pistols andtruncheohs, the Weed Cops
would wear white uniforms, ride in non-
polluting electric -powered vehicles and
carry badges displaying a picture a a
perfect set of pink little lungs. They
would be trained to spot carriers of con-
cealed stogies by the tell-tale yellowish
stains on their fingertips and heaven help
the innocent bystander who's'fingers are
yellow only due to honest neglect of good
petsonal hygiene.
Naturally, with tobacco unavailable
through legal channels, a black market
will spring up. But the Weed police will
be prepared for this eventuality.
People who look suspiciously like Don
Johnston will be enlisted to attend
clandestine meetings with suspected
smoke dealers. When the blackguards
produce their secret stash of Matinee Ex-
tra Mild they will be immediately. pounc-
-ecLupon_by the SWAP (Smoking Without
a Permit) squad and be carted off to
from
this
angle
Patrick Raftis
languish through fits of withdraw] in
their cells.
In order to get the suspects to name
their confederates, the RLMT will
employ the latest in subtle interogation
techniques. They will be questioned over
cup after cup of weak coffee, which they
will be obliged to drink without the
benefit of an accompanying duMaurier,
even though one will be casually left bur-
ning in a nearby ashtry. (The Weed Cops
will of course be wearing gas masks
throughout this rather hazardous
proceedure.)
Once convicted, punishment of of-
fenders will be swift and harsh. For-
tunately, execution of offenders is out, as
tradition would require the authorities to
offer anyone facing a firing squad a last
cigarette, which would make them ac-
cessories to an ignition.
Once smoking is finally eradicated
from the face of Ontario. The morality
squads could then crack down on the
other vices which afflict the good people
of this province.
Next we would form the Liquor Police,
or the, "Booze Brigade."
Armed with with black coffee and trun-
cheons, they, would....