Loading...
The Goderich Signal-Star, 1987-01-14, Page 13®Entertainment ®Features ®Religion *Family *More SECTION GObERICH SIGNAL -STAR, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 14, 1987 -PAGE lA BY 'yVILIA.Atil THOMAS ll Gracefully performing their routines at the Goderich Figure Skating Club's annual Com- petition Day, Saturday, Jan. 10 at the local arena are, clockwise from„above right: Susan Cook, Paula Glew, Kim Brownlee, Tammy Morris and Carol Potter. ( photos by Patrick Raftis) Skaters competition Hollingworth wins Howes Trophy Emma Hollingworth turned in a stan- dout "performance to . win the Howes Trophy,as the top skater in the Senior Open Freestyle category at the annual"' Goderich Figure Skating Club Competition Day, held 'Saturday, Jan. 10 at the local arena. Judges choose Sanna Landenpera second and Susan Cook third, in the com- petition for the prestigious trophy. More than 70 local skaters took part in ' the event, the winners of which •have the opportunity to go on to inter -club skating competitions. , Winners, in order of finish, were: Loie Rathby Trophy, Senior Pairs Freestyle , - Theresa Ferguson, Paula Glew; Emma Hollingworth, Becky Schuett; Sonya McCallum, Jillian O'Neill. Craven Trophy, Senior Dance - Emma Hollingworth, Susan Cook. • Dominion Roads, Trophy, Senior Freestyle -. Sanna Landeripera, Paula 'Glew. Domtar Trophy, Intermediate Freestyle - Sonya McCallum, Theresa Ferguson, Jillian O'Neill. Dechert Trophy, Intermediate Dance - Sarina Landernpera, Sonya McCallum, Paula Glew. Rean Trophy, Junior Freestyle - Becky Schuett, Lisa Adamson, Kenora Fry. Ormandby Trophy, Junior Dance - Kel- ly Graham, Theresa Ferguson; Becky Schuett, Lisa -Adamson; Tara MacKinnon, Julie Cook. ' O'Neill Memorial Trophy, Junior Pairs Freestyle - Tara MacKinnon, Julie Cook; Array Smith, Sally Mabon; Connie Clifford, - Sherry Stephenson. Edd and Ellen Jeffrey Trophy, Novice Dance - Jaclyn Henry, Amy Smith; Sherry Stephenson, Connie Clifford; Tafline Scott, Marcia Salm. Candlelight Trophy, Novice Freestyle - Sue Ingham, Mandy Verge; Kim Brownlee. Blue Water Body and Fender (Goderich) Ltd. Trophy, Pre -Novice Freestyle - Tory Westbrook, Debilyn Greene, Carol Potter. Goderich Figure Skating Club Trophy, Juvenile Freestyle - Cathy Ingham, Sherry Stephenson, Jaclyn Henry.. Debbie Horton-Facchinatto Trophy, Preschool Beginners - Jenny Schuett, Robbie Corrigan, Lacey Adamson. Hruden Trophy, Elementary -. Lindsay Culbert, Kristen Breen, Cherianive D'Aoust. Christie Boddy-Smith Trophy, Basic - Amanda Dekker, Aletia Wat-r, Alicia Johnston. Not long ago the Canadian Cornmercial Bank of Edmonton and the ., Northland Bank of Calgary - two banks holding i $875 -million of money that trusting Cana- dians somehow managed to hide from Revenue Canada - went bellyup. Banks going bankrupt - something even Cana- ' dians didn't think their politicians and ' financial wizards could accomplish - is a reality in the reign of Brian Mul-ruin-y. . And it's no mystery to me why this is • happening. Banks are too big for their , budgets, they're waf ot•'erdrawn on their mandate. Canadian bankers sit through three- i hour lunches at private clubs bobbing for olives in their double martinis playing 3. "anything you can buy 1 can buy bigger." • "Yeah, had a hitch of a morning - had " to underwrite the national debt of Kuala' Lumpur. Thought I'd have to cancel our - luncheon." "That's nothing, Syd, this afternoon I've got to fly to Washington ... taking out a second mortgage on the White House. "Boy, you guys get all the plums, last week I went down to Argentina, bought up all the paper currency in the country, had it dry cleaned and"back on the -street ' by five at one percent over the buyout • rate.". Olives and one-upmanship. These guys • are out of control; Meir eyes are bigger than their reserves, Their mouths, are - looser than John Crosbie's chins. That's why I'm, starting a 'bank. A small bank for little people with tiny dreams. It's ,corporate offices will be , located somewhere in Wainfleet. It'll •be 4 called Billy's Bank. Unless,, of course, my mom wants to match my $500 invest=' o meat in the project in which case.it'll be called "Marg & Billy's Bank." My mom , isn't real quick with, 'figures but she's . wonderful with people. She'll be VP, ' Customer Relations. ' Billy's Bank will be like "Billy Ball," ' that firebrand baseball that Bill Martin 'invented. It's high risk, hit and run, steal 'em blind, make things happen baseball., Be honest. Are you.tired of going down ' to your bank and waiting in line while one teller waits on 24 customers and the five other employees do their nails- in unison r No line ups at Billy's Bank. I don't even have a building. You mail your. cash to four conveniently located P.O., boxes throughout Southern Ontario. When; I get', your deposit I'll call you; if I don't call,•I ' didn't get it. . Are you, slightly .insulted that banking • • hours' are convenient for the banks but , ' • awkward as hell • for you and it's your money that's keeping them open? No banking hours at Billy's Bank. I work out of my car phone on the dashboard; files and cash reserves locked ' in the a.. trunk. You want to do business, call me anytime. - Did you ever get into a tight spot where' • you needed money fast and ,couldn't get • . to the bank? No cash problems at Billy's Bank. Pick'up the phone. I deliver. And that's not all. You need cash, you call. I come over with the money and a • six-pack of beer. (Look -'- if they'r"e going , to sell it in grocery stores, they Can just••{ as easily peddle it in banks). You get your money, you pay for the six-pack, we each knock down three beer and I cancel your delivery charges. What could be 1 simpler? For. amounts over $1,000 my buddy, Murray the Cop, rides shotgun and we split the sixpack three ways. I've even added. a swell touch • to the ' free delivery system. I've ordered a small warehouse of"Billy Beer" from former President Jimmy Carter's brother in Plains, Georgia. Who needs those alarm clocks and synthetic leather • cheque folder the chartered banks give. away? When you open your account at Billy's Bank you get a case of 24 Billy • Beer with an actual photo of Billy Carter relieving himslef on the label. No plastic cards or ovIrdraft at Billy's Bank. When you,'re out of money - you're out of luck. You want a Short term loan, pick up the phone. I deliver and Murray the Cop, Vice President of Collections, comes ,back a week later, for your, pay- ment. Murray .,d,4esn't always have to - come back with money - small 'ap- pliances, car keys, front doors, children teeth - anything that shows your sincerity to repay: .You have a problem or a complaint - don't call me. I'm the President. Presidents don't handle ,problems. Call my Vice -President of Customer Rela- tions; she'll' be at the bar at D.J.'s Roadhouse in Wainfleet everyday from one p.m. until three p.rn. Half percent interest charges'. Amor- tization? Decimal points? Schlock! At Billy's Bank we round everything off to, the nearest dollar and 'arrive at our rates by cutting for high card. You don't like the rate we'll go "best two out of three.' You want a line 0f credit - go see the guys in the suits. You want a cold beer and a fast buck, come to Billy's Bank. I'm not saying there isn't a certaim1 amount of risk in banking with us. But let me ask you this: "If all those people who got mugged for $875 -million. by the ('ana- diari Commercial Bank of Edmonton and the Northland Bank of Calgary had it to do all over,- again, do you think they wouldn't take their chances with Billy's Bank?" At the very least they'd have got- ten a ca, a of beer out of it. The first 50 customers into my backseat in the new year get free, styrofoam cooler's With their to'Re of Bitty Beer. Billy's Bank is a long-awaited banking breakthrough whose time has come. . Ottr motto is: "It takes money to make money Hand it over."