Clinton News-Record, 1984-04-25, Page 3Ile sallidle a. 111: re s
am to avoavoid tbattles through
hammer it out. The goal is that they can
remain parents to our kids. They may be
separating as a couple, but not as parents."
Couples who seek mediation are•already
concerned parents. They realize that
parenting can still involve shared
responsiblity and decision making.
Positive approach
Mediation offers a positive approach to
divorce, for the sake of the children. The
process itself can involve stressful
confrontations between couples and intense
emotions, as court battles can, but
mediation allows couples to go through this
period in private, with the guidance of
qualfied consultants.
As well mediation promotes personalized
agreements that reflect on all aspects of the
couple's and their children's lives. It takes
into account finances, ages and work, for
instance.
Mediation encourages joint custody,
where both parents establish equal, bat
flexible, responsibilities, geared specifically
to meet the child's needs.
The process takes about six to seven
weeks to complete. Mediators meet
individually with couples to explain closed
mediation. Likewise they contact the
couples' lawyers to explain the process, then
draw upa written agreement.
Depending on the degree of discomfort,
mediators may meet individually with' the
Centre sponsor pro
Hackman.
The consultants are offering confidential,
closed mediation between parents in an
attempt to avoid ugly court quarrels over
child,custatly:and access.
"Closed ,mediation is seen as a
preventative action," Shirley explained. "It
helps the children before damage from
divorce is done."
She went on to say that acting as
mediators in custody and access cases used
to be a risky business. Mediators, took the
change of being called to court themselves.
Consultants at the Huron Centre will not
I By Shelley McPhee
Separated and divorced couples can still
parent together. That's the aim of a pilot
project at the Huron Centre for Children and
Youth in Clinton.
The program, the first of its kind in this
area, attempts to help separated, divorced
and divorcing couples to make mutual out-
of-court
utof-court agreements for child .custody and
access.
The Huron Centre. project has been in the
development stages for the past year -and -a -
half and is under the direction of Centre
consultants Sandy Stuart and Shirley
I'ON WAIS -RECORD, WgPN. SDAY, AFR.IU .., 19847 -PAC!
Air ai
Julie Carter ( left) is already an accomplished babysitter. Here she tries feeding little
seven week old Becky Snowden. Julie will be learning more about quality care
babysitting at a five week course sponsored by the Clinton Kinettes. Linda Bosman
I right) will teach the Red Cross designed course. (Shelley McPhee photo)
Course to teach quality care.
Babysitting involves more than looking
after sleeping.. children and watching
television. _
Babysitting involves quality caring for
young children and the ability to act in
emergency situations.
The Clinton Kinette Club will be teaching
various aspects of quality babysitting in a
special five week course.
Designed by the Red Cross the course will
start on May 9 and will be held for five
consecutive weeks. The course will be held
at the Clinton Public Hospital board room
and is limited to 12 students.
Instructor Linda Bosman says that if
response to the course is good, the Kinettes
will consider sponsoring a fall session.
The course is divided into five, one hour
sessions. The first session will study basic
child care and will feature a real, live baby.
The lesson will focus on handling, feeding,
bathing a new baby andcare of preschool
children.
The second class will teach first aid,
specifically what to do in case of choking,
poisoning, shock or when breathing stops.
A Clinton fireman will . attend the third
night to discuss fire safety. The class will
also look at toy safety and babysitting at
night.
The fourth session will focus on child
behavior._ Itwill offer play suggestions for
--all-ages-and discipline advice.
On the fifth week students will be tested
and the course will end with a fun night and
graduation party.
The course is open to area youth, aged 12
and over.
Rural Block
Parent Program
EXETER - Preliminary steps to organize
a Rural Block Parent Program is underway
in Stephen and Usborne Townships.
In addition` to window signs, rural Block
Parents would be provided with decals for
mailboxes. Children on bicycles or hiking.
who require assistance would know where
help could found.
The Exeter OPP is backing the program
and Corporal Woodward of the Exter
detachment noted that the Block Parent
Program is an important step in crime
prevention because of the deterrent effect
on unwanted strangers.
act in a partisan manner. Their program agreements are durable, where court
and work is protected under new legislation settlements often end up back in the courts
in the Children's Law Reform Act which within a few years tune.
allows mediators to carry out confidential The mediation process does not attempt to
proceedings. Under the new legislation, only replace a lawyer's role. Couples who seek
the agreement reached by both parents in mediation assistance are each encouraged
cloned mediation is sent to the courts. If no to have their .own lawyers to carry out the
agreement is reached, a report stating this legal aspects of divorce.
can go to the courts. "We're not replacing lawyers," Shirley
Confidential talks emphasized. "We want the lawyers there.
Closed mediation provides parents with a We don't give out legal advice and don't
safe, . confidential means where they can touch any matters other than custody and
talk about their children _ and their future,
without the fear that their private
discussions could be used in court. The
program stresses this fact and clients work
under a written contract that guarantees
that discussions remain confidential.
The concept behind closed mediation is
not a new one. It has been running
successfully, in Toronto and Hamilton for the
past four to five years. Mediation is used in
Euro and
mediation
some areas of the United
clE
ation is a legal requirement.
Mediation serves a number of purposes, it
helps families come to mutual out-of-court
settlements and avoids the emotion
upheavel and damages that can result from
prolonged, angry custody battles. This
method also saves a great deal of time and
money that could be spent in the court
system.
Research has also shown that mediated
SCifte4
ovte
access."
Objective go:between
The Huron Centre consultants act
specifically as objective go-betweens for
couples who wantto consider the best future
for their children. As mediators, Shirley and
Sandy are not giving treatment, they are
acting as facilitators, helping couples make
their own decisions. If couples feel that they
may require some type of marital or
emotional therapy, five other workers at the
Centre offer this serve. As mediators, Sandy
and Shirley, won't serve families in both
capacities.
The mediation program is not designed to
bring couples back together. The program is
specifically geared to separated couples, not
as marital reconcilliation. Other help is
available at the centre for this.
Mediation is not a magical, easy way out.
Sandy noted, "Mediators work damn hard to
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mediation
husband and wife, or preferably together.
The meetings are basically held to plan for
the future of the children and to realize and
learn how divorced- couples can still work
together as competent parents.- -
At the completion of the mediation a
written agreement is signed by both spouses
and is presented to their respective lawyers
as a parenting agreement. Mediators also
encouage future appointments to ensure
that the agreements are working, or make
adjustments if needed.
Parenting medium
The agreements don't happen overnight.
Some couples may find is difficult to
immediately relate to one another, while
others can be too close -in their planning. The
program strives to find a parenting
medium, teaching couples . not to put up
barriers and not to be overly dependent on
each other.
Mediation's main objective is mutual
agreement. It aims to avoid distressing
situations where children feel they must
make a choice between mother or father. It
works to avoid the concept of winning and
losing in court cases.
"We're working hard to make the
community realize that it's (mediation) the
best for children's needs to have open
relationships."
"The children must come out feeling like
winners,” Sandy added.
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