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Clinton News-Record, 1983-10-05, Page 3r By Shelley McPhee Parenting, many are realizing, is not the simple responsibility of raising offspring. For generations past, parenting has been understood as a clearly defined, orderly relationship between parents and children. However today more and more parents are finding that raising children is not the sim- ple task that it was once proclaimed to be. The children of today are not raised by the "seen, not heard" philosophy. Theories like "father knows best" and "do what your mother says" no longer apply. Today's youngsters are recognized as in- telligent, caring, reasoning, valuable members of society. With that realization comes the theory that parenting must also be recognized as a vital position. Nancy McLeod explains parenting as, "the single most important thing we do. Through it we are forming another genera- tion." Nancy is a parenting counsellor. With her Master of Education in Counselling Psychology, she. is one of the seven profes- sionals who work at the Huron Centre for Children and Youth in Clinton. She along with Janie Gattinger are leading the highly successful Systematic Training for Effective Parenting i STEP t program. STEP is described as a realistic and sensi- ble approach to parent-child relationships. It was developed more than seven years ago to help families change with the times. Designed to help parents find more effective ways of relating to their children, STEP has proven itself to be an excellent self -learning program throughout North America. It was introduced at the Huron Centre this spring and its immediate success greatly impress- ed counsellors. Janie, a counsellor with her Masters degree in Social Work, said that the public response to the initial course was tremendous and has resulted in a waiting list of parents who are interested in taking part in the program. Currently a nine week STEP program has just gotten underway. The Huron Centre also sponsored a suc- cessful STEP program in Kincardine and Janie stresses, "STEP has a good reputa- tion. Throughout North America it has been very successful." STEP is a parent-child awareness pro- gram. It is aimed to help parents understand child behavior and misbehavior and help parents develop a better understanding of their child. The program focuses on improving family relationships and communication skills. It stresses the use of encouragement, instead of praise, to build a child's confidence and feelings of self-worth. It teaches parents how to become a better listener and develops improved comunication between parent and child. It attempts to show parents how children can be guided to explore alternative ways of behaving and encourages parents to replace reward -and -punishment with learning - from -consequences. STEP is set up as a nine week course. Parents, mothers and fathers, meet at the Centre once a week. They gather in the com- fortable, relaxed setting of the Centre and through the guidance given by Nancy and Janie, they study child raising problems and concerns. ..It's an opportunity for parents to learn from one another," Nancy says. "Parents come up with their own solu- tions and they help each other," Janie adds. "We're not experts in parenting. We organize and facilitate the group. They have the expertise and the real life experiences to work with." Parents have an opportunity to test the ideas generated through the program with homework assignments and according to Nancy, "They come back full of vitality and energy. They talk about what worked and what didn't work." STEP attempts to offer help for all types of problems between parents and children, but it doesn't profess to give the absolute guidelines for perfect parenting. "Each parent can find parts of the pro- gram that will work for them," Janie says. The STEP program counsellors are en- thusiastic to see the tremendous public response for the course. Nancy enthuses, "The parents are dedicated and excited. It's good to know that there are people out there who care about the job they're doing." STEP is designed for normal, everyday parents who have normal, everyday children, with normal, everyday problems. Concerns can appear simple or com- plicated, they can involve anything from classroom difficulties to sibling rivalry. The program may help some fulltime working parents to establish quality time with their children, not just quantity of time. For others it may develop better communication and teach parents how to recognize extra good efforts on the part of their children, how children should be praised for their ef- forts and encouraged to continue, not only CLINTON NEWS -RECORD, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 5, 19113—P GE 3 ren criticized and punished for highly visible wrong doings. As Nancy explains, "Try to catch your child doing something good. Children learn through attention and if you react only to negative acts, it may encourage that behavior more." STEP is not designed to deal with severely . disturbed children. In fact, much of the work at The Huron Centre deals with nor- mal children and Janie noted, "It's the ex- ception for us here to see severely disturbed children." STEP tries to deal with general concerns and when private and personal problems are brought up, individual counselling is recommended. The program is really an idea exchange session, with some guidance coming from the two counsellors. Like all programs at the Huron Centre, STEP stresses involve- ment of both parents. The Centre believes that if parents work together it helps in the development of the child. "The fathers are equally as involved in the program," Nancy notes. "We thought we might have had to draw them out." There's no doubt that the program is a success, based on the acceptance of it by parents in Huron County. For the Huron Centre for Children and Youth the success of STEP is a major milestone in the ever increasing awareness and greater understanding of children and parenting. As Janie explains, "People get training for everything they do, except parenting and parenting is one of the most important things we do in our lives." Nancy McLeod, left and Janie Gattinger, right, are two of the specialists, trained to deal with family problems. They are part of the team, directed by Don Keillor, centre, who help more than 300 families each year at the Huron Centre for Children and Youth. The countrywide service is located in Clinton. (Shelley McPhee photo) Huron Centre for Children strives to preserve the family unit By Shelley McPhee and Yvonne Reynolds Each year more than 300 families benefit from the services offered at the uron Cen- tre for Children and Youth. Stil many peo- ple do not understand the role of the Clinton based Centre. Many have the misconception that it provides services only for severely disturbed children, still others have never heard of it. The Huron Centre is veru much alive, very successful and greatly appreciated by the parents and children from throughout Huron County who have benefitted from family counselling and parent education services. Called a Children's Mental Health Centre, the counselling services began in 1977 following the initial closure of the psychiatric hospital in Goderich. Concerned professional and lay people such as Dr. Frank 'Mills ( then in charge of the 'Huron County Health Unit), Bruce Heath (head of the Huron Children's Aid Society at the time), Ila --Keys of. Grand Bend_ (.former - special education coordinator for the Huron Board of Education) and Helen Bartliff of Clinton were convinced of the need for a family counselling service and formed a steering committee to do something about it. In 1977 the Huron Centre for Children and Youth was opened in Clinton. The Centre SALE Hotpoint Microwave Ovens Personal Shopping Only Microwave School Friday, October 28, 7-9 p.m. Limited Tickets available We Do Our Own Service DRYSDALE MAJOR APPLIANCE CENTRE LTR. Hensall _ - _"The Place To Buy 262-2728 Appliances" Closed Mondays ORCHARD FRESH APPLES CUNDY ORCHARD 2 Mlles South, 1 Mlle West of Clinton CALL482-3324 MAILED GRADE APPLES Available ®? BARGIII" pRICE �* was designed to service the entire county and was situated in Clinton because of its central location. Today the Centre works with more than 300 families a year. Additional service is now available through satellite offices in Exeter, Stratford and Listowel. The Huron Centre also works in conjunction with a similar service in Bruce and Grey Counties. Specially trained professionals, including child psychologist Dr. Doug Reberg, Centre Director Don Keillor, counsellors Janie Gat- tinger, Shirley Hackman, Nancy McLeod, Bonnie Reberg and Sandy Stuart work to help parents help their children, giving family members a fresh „perspective on their difficulties and providing a crossroads when the family fears it has reached a dead end. Counsellors believe that there are times when parents are simply not able to suc- cessfully handle every situation which arises in their family. The Centre's role is to offer help and support by talking problems out and teach familieLs ant!, individualg, to rears to hrille t ll it d fficltes. in most cases, counsellors stress,. children's behavior changes as families change. The Huron Centre works partially on a referral basis, taking recommendations from schools, family doctors and others in the communty. However many clients hear about the Centre's services through others who have themselves been helped, and this is the best recommendation of all. Director Don Keillor believes that taking the first step, asking for help, is the greatest obstacle that most families must overcome. For some, the very act of asking for outside help seems to be an admission of failure, a damaging blow to one's sense of self-worth as a parent. However Mr. Keillor asserts that it's a secure parent who can say, "I goofed. What worked with my other children is not working with this one. Something's wrong." A problem does not have to be severe to require counselling at the Centre. In fact the Centre sees few severely emotionally disturbed children, and instead deals with average family difficulties. Some situations may be dealt with in three to four sessions, others may take six to eight visits or more. Problems may focus on a child's learning difficulties at school, or disruptive behavior that is causing trouble at home and at „f cho or a teed per's actions are worryin,tppiivi sity:tealf hi,Rg,,he .ia. stidiulated;by the in place for a long time, they are hard to un- do." The Centre has special programs, design- ed to work with particular areas of child - parent difficulties. The Systematic Training For Effective Parenting program focuses on helping parents adapt to changing socie- ty, by developing better communication skills and training methods with their aims children. Another program to help separated or divorced couples learn how they can still work together as parents and still make joint family decisions. It teaches that while two people may not be compatible as marriage partners, they can still be good parent partners. The Huron Centre is a modern thinking, progressive institution. Dr. Reberge ex- plained, "Sometimes it seems to be the world's hardest job, growing up in the '80s." The psychologist came to the Huron Cen- tre three years ago via Michigan, Toronto and Hamilton. After a background in parents. Some es teenagers want to to . ''ongoing ehallengo orapplying information With someone outside 'the family about. gained in the laboratory torr e'itmmurirty set= drugs or alcohol, concerns about girlfriends, ting and finds the results gratifying and boyfriends, parents and school,. rewarding. Some new parents choose tp visit the Cen- Dr, Reberg stresses the sanctity of con- tre, to seek advice on parenthood and Mr. fidentiality between Centre counsellors and Keillor noted, "Typically the younger you their clients. Counsellors will not contract can work with a child, the quicker the other agencies without written permission. results. Once behavior patterns have been Clients mah t k h 1 th h CARPET SALE EVENT Now on at Langford Lumber - While stock lasts! Multi -tone beige -rubber back - reg. '10.95 sq. yd. CUT/LOOP NYLON CARPET Hard wearing - easy to maintain. S 095 •' SA. YD. Great for the rec. room - beige - rubber back LEVEL -LOOP NYLON CARPET Reg. '6.95 sq. yd. Dense Low -Pile - easy maintenance, long wearing - attractive patterns rubber back PATTERNED LEVEL -LOOP NYLON CARPET Reg. *2.95 sq. yd. S 9 5 SQ. YD. LUMBERLANGFORD HOME CENTRES 230IS40 AYFI4ROAD CLINTON 461 3005 LUCAN 727 4416 PARKHILL 204 4755 G fUALrfy �R� uCf . UAL1FIEt SERVICE✓ cbMPf`l�Ttril PRKINCr y machoose o see e p roug group programs or by individual counselling. Families, mothers, fathers and children, are asked to join in since counsellors prefer to work with the whole family Sometimes just bringing problems out the open and discussing them together often helps. Often the counsellors will suggest parents try other tactics in dealing with their children when a consis- tent action is only reinforcing a negative reaction. Counsellors work day and evening hours, to accommodate working parents. The counsellors do not go out to the homes, but ask families to meet at the Centre. This, they believe, motivates people to show a ge- nuine interest. The Centre also provides a neutral environment where there's rio disruption by television or telephones. Parents and counsellors meet in a quiet, comfort of a private office. Children, also encouraged to visit the Centre, are enter- tained with games and toys in a nearby playroom. Therd's always a hot pot of coffee brewing for parents and a full jar of cookies for the youngsters. u • - - "It's a pretty friendly place," Counsellor Janie Gattinger noted. "People are often surprised when they get here." The Centre cautions that sessions may take time, extra effort and patience. There are no magic answers to learning how to handle family problems. Counsellors otter guidance and ideas, but the parents themselves must decide what action to take and they must implement the solutions. Dr. Reberg says that parents are best suited to bring about changes in a fami- ly. He affirms; "It is always gratifying when we see positive changes in a child as a result of sorting out difficulties. We hope a large portion of our work will also have future benefits and children in turn will grow up to be happier, healthier persons, better suited to parenthood themselves." The Centre, including satellite offices may he contacted at 482-3931. There is no charge for the service. It is completely fund- ed by the provincial government. 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