Exeter Times, 1900-12-20, Page 3After
Typhoid
fever, or other almost mortal
sickness, a man or woman
sometimes will gain a pound a
clay from taking an ounce a
6ay of Scores EmuLsrow and
the gain be healthy.
The ounce gives strength to
get thepound; there is no
mi
iracle n it.
Body and mind are weak;
digestion is weak; and hunger
is ravenous.
SCOTT'S EmuLsioN of Cod
Liver Oil is the food to begin
and go on with. it furnishes
strength to digest a little easy
iother food; and a little grows
Ito enough. But the gain is
nearly all fat.
The bones had not lost
much ; the muscles had lost,
and had not got back their
strength; they have lost there
bulk; the fat was all gone...
The fat has come back; the
muscle slowly recovers its bulk,
more slowly its strength -the
bulk of muscle was fat -and
the bones are about the same
as before.
It is Scores EMULSION of
Cod Liver Oil that starts the
body going again give it time.
The genuine ha
this pietUre On it,
take no other.
If yOU haVe net
tried it, Send for
free Sarieple1 its a.-
greeable teat° Wil
SUrpriSe you
SCOTT & BOWNE
CheneiStS,
Toronto.
,600. and $1.00t all druggist
It
Hurt
To Eat.
The pain, nausea and ds -
'tress that Dyspeptics "suffer
after every meal can all be
permanently removed by Bur-
dock Blood Bitters.
totitls up and restores the
itornach to normal condition so
that it digests food without
• causing discomfort.
Here'proof positive:
Miss Maggie Spinel% Dalhousie, N.B.,
wrote the following: "I have been a
aufferer from Liver Complaint and Dys-
pepsia for the past two years and felt
very 3niserable. I could not take much
food as it hurb me to eat. My Words
said, Why don't you try 13.B.B.' 1 din
so, using two bottles, which made such a
complete cure that I can now eat any-
thing I like without it eausingrae discern -
feet.),
In the Clutch
Of Consumption.
Don't neglect that persietent hacking
cough till you find yourself in the clutch of
Consumption. Its an easy matter to stop
it now by taking
DR. WOOD'S NORWAY PINE SYRUP.
This pleasant remedy heals and soothes
the lungs and bronchial tubes, and cures
lingering and chronic coughs when other
• temedies fail.
Mr. W. P. Cann, writing from Morpeth,
Ont., says ; "I honestly believe I would
have died of consumption only for Dr.
Wood's Norway Pine Syrup. I have used
it for years and consider it has no equal
• for severe colds and throat troubles."
tars. Ea,l,ibert Beek, Newburn, N. S., writes
ttl was in bed for weeks with Rheumatism and
weld notrhove without help, I began using
latilburn's Bheninatie Pills and one box relieved
the pain antlf boxes completely cured me."
a at
Children Cry for
CASTO R IA.
Children Cry for
CAST
ASTORIA
FOr Infants an Children.
tee fate
Manta
aiar.atatto
of
Jr on
ovary,
wrapper.
THE. ELEGIWCITY OF L
Oft foolish aearts iea by bis fl
Will venture unsuspecting,
To test and try the svond'reus b
Dan Cupid is directing.
Heal held, there by laves
Tbey who were loth to take it
Until they find they're victinas
And beg hine nor to break it
-Roy T4. McOu
oVE distance; and then the en-
lerged, and led up a secere ascent. Atte);
;ea lege
toiling up about ?Atte; feet we came to
attery, another brilliant ebamber of stalee-
, Wes, and found a dozen rr ire inviting
ateery passago adiag we anew not whither.
Our first !forth was by this time wet,
ty well burned oat, and, es we lighted
one of the tea others wifeela I Carried,
I remarked:
curr
willing "It would be tempting fate to go ane
further aow. I propose turelag back,"
relL"Hart!" he said. "I do believe I I
hear running water, and I must gee
what it is. This ay; follow ane
AMBLE START IN LIFE There is no claager. I will guide you
bath In safety,"
ut
He again went forward aa he spoke.
Row did I get ray first start in life? and as he still carried e light I was I
Well, in a very singular manner -a obliged to accompany him, or remain
very singular manner indeed. I will in darkness.
proceed to tell you. We thus went On and on. through a
Let me •see. I am now rather ad- rather open paseage, and, as we ad-
vanced, the wand of failing water bee
:erne more and mere audible, till at
length we cattle in sight of a bright
runniag stream. that flowed over a
'tear bed. and Lell down. with a sudden ,
plunge and gloomy roar, into some
dark abgee that wan frightful to be-
hold.
As we stopped and contemplated fi
this wonder of nature, with the lurid
torch liglaing, up the awful scene, I
puddeuly perceived What appeared to
be several brignt sparks et Are in the
vaueed years-seventy-serea last
Jae:teary- Meat some people call get-
ting old; thougb, somehow, my heart
role as youpg as ever. Seventy-seven
years. with nineteen off, leaves nay -
eight, Fifty-eight years ago in juue:
that would carry it back to tbe year
1841- Tea, that is right -that is the
year I went out to Port-au-Prince.
Hayti, as captain's clerk.
The captain aua I rot agreeing very
well, I left hien there. and aleile look -
lag for another berth I fell In with a
MIND VSMATTER THE END. OFA 1,3:JMANCE
rearessor ceneteoerest GINC6 the, ArYdtgr4010. MIN? Olkt to ne a
too tOo SO bleet.
with a iarg,e mentality. Hie wife is a 'At a large wedding reception recent-
yeteetive.
Professor Couatemfast is a small mat
eau woman, who believes in the p., te;, IY the atteatien ef a couple of girls was
et matter ever mmd., me prefeseer 1144 attracted to a rather fine looleing man,
been absorbed the whole evening la a whose Prematurely gray hair,and elear
profound paper on tbe mental charaee cut features combined, in, giving him a,
distingeethed appeafance,
tmearirsrtilee4e. ofsPu4eoeiPelwe ywlel000kwieurge uuDniihar ;el): awl slegeohtiona,,,astleaorneye.ey4pr wolanrdgeerwwt
ably aea.a, are you aware of the fact be can be. I've asked lots Of WO%
marked:
that a man's brain weighs about three and nobody seams to know' Yet he
and a bait pounds?" •
"Humph! You've just read that, "Yes, I've noticed him. tee," Said the
soetheaters :jar '117 ,i,nwv wilteled hevoe:yoe;ernetc• goes
newel, you?"
ezaa_ernewby_eraashl yes; cart seeto, jnalltotakenobwiganwyebeloddinyr,orh,eatdoiLans'tr,
tainly ,of mime." I've never seen hint talking to any -
'Well, that article says a woman's body, He's such an intersting lothing
brain is not so heavy, eh?" „
"Er-er--yes, a. mammy does, bate__ than, too. I'd loYe to meet him. He
"And it also states that 4 woman's looks like a maxi who had lived awl -
and suffered,"
brain is of puma finer quality', doesn't
itt" A youag man standing near. who
maiden help overbearing this mayo.
"Eer-er-well, yes; you are quito aatioa laughed
eight, my dear," •
, .
"Now, listen to me. just oncea- ”Perhan$ 1 Ma throw SeIrte light
Kean the identity of your neyeterlaus
trate your three-and-a-balf-pound a a be -4
lea, you lcuovr time" exclaimed Don, . In tne week begnearg Dee 10 1 st
much it will weigh atter aron. brieg it•n ' ' • '
• 'oes GNI1 A WE,E-Ye
atoase er Meagre 1„ eays that 4 Mt
for lQ4l.
retZr4aoge.:aribl 4t
wimam A, Morse, sixty-eight yore
11
Vest lidedisort street, Chien% says
'that for the last Ave years the aver-
a,ge eost food has boa
Weele: that be gets everythaug be
nerds for heath and eomfort: that
ads health was never better, and that
ane eujoye every day a his life.
Mr. Morse is alone in the world
end "beards leimeelf,' Ile does not'
drink. aleobolic liquers and spends ttO
XCeneY fOr luxuries except. tobacco,
weeich be smokes oder y. For :
recreative he wallte to the park, te
tate lake front cieurele, we
soldier Of tbe Union hi the Ova
war and leas never been stele Whale
day in his life, He Caolie intgai
meals ou. an 011 'stove and wastes ,
nothing, Coffee Is the only stimulant -
LA his bill of are and he VMS etat-
densen Wile tato Tea is 'barred .
from hla, table, teat he 'Wee battery"
hits appetite dame.
brain on that Scuttle and agure out how - „ •"
bis expeneee reamed the mina.
full a coal from the cellar.," girle in the Mane breath.
The professor ineeltly bowed Ws great lu;o1V.welblit,II.,,c41-areplesd4ythtohaytowli rollg 7unems. htabnvIerblecgaGsLacAtt!%10it0e5max0t4
head, and, as he departed for the lower '
regions ba search ot abstract latormot , "but I lertow wbee he is. Iles a private ea mama:
-lion, aeureeureaz
"The man who thinks that goo that he never strays far away from the
detective. Perhaps you bane eoticed leaa. attnittczats ter. "7.; ...wt.:
seperier Meatier is an illustriouna tablea whiele the presents are ate, la„aatetaa 9 yew eager 6
countryman of mine itho waxtzed #0 bel of the argent, 1. Riot," played. 'net% what bces there or-te• ceitt.-t4a0a r4.14,
watch them We teeny there are sea
highwaymen Dec. 13-011, 2t5 IIIIk$ ,
take a trip into the interior. merely to As the depth of the water was only One Ivey et gettling "net% get down. staire and get effinea wake, ee et O. ee fe lq
;ratify bis euriostty. a few althea I axed my eye on one, ()then eneldng as a' masenlar per'• claret cup " interrunted one ot the we. Ur -vii. 5 Ceats; oaf...meal,
a
set 1.1 tme a, laay Peareon's Weekly.
girla
"I have heard." he said. that the descended into the current, stooped
moug the bills is the most deem I 1 a it d 1.. ta I t ..i, utuya at the gate Oiled oat to WM;
scenery a
beautiful in the world, :lad I am aux- ague. Sir, I appeal to yea for pretection!"
. p C ce up, an 0 4 0 e tit e
Ins to see it, but would rather not . sceptic mid Pollever,
"What's the raatter?" be ested, as he I
'What leave you toiled BeirSea?" eteMeed ehort. A young man who looted as 1 bo
eleed my companion. "Taere's a, reaa in the bouse, awl he Might be about twenty-five years oia
venture alone, anti bitherto have found '
you caa epare a few days awl Wm go e, 1 - -- a ardent( him to."
with rue I will not only bear all ex- 4". ;ale wen't oh? Well 480 about that." -baby. Presently the baby began tie ma'. pinurtehheaeelaipnecluoiltlugcrialicierrayeiruproeresk
Dense, • but pay you a, reasonable price Never shell I forget his wild. eager Thereupon the man gave the Wen= and the awkwardness and beiplezeneee
"Gold! Gold! Gold! As I live, his coat to bold and sailed into the or tbe Young man were so marked an f, 1Q:(ib,114U. epx1p0e.mdOeUgcbcollUutit3t and r thualate.waeoelzra:
for your tirae." , look, as he fairly ebouted:
"I am your man," was my reply. bouse. lie found a men at the supper to attreet general atteution.
Procured a good outfit -rifles, pistols, In a raoment I was as much excited nlaniwd: "Ntee style of brute you are. zengerse a fat and amiable. le Atha if My;
Pill"' ea. ;
We immediately set to work and ;
old! Hurrah! Our fortune Is made!" table and Unite him by the neck and re- At thls Point one of the wa - a la , Den eee-augaa. 6 cellar ou a
agate ve OA OR OP NT TT
knives, tinderbox. wallets. knapsack% as be; and, forgetting everything else, eeeheL.yee001114 ingut:coon; IblIoldS, VII break 1 tvcreetisea btabbeyroznaeran. d Se: dto the Oise ri ..nne2.. it_apantmi,,itann„.t. avIct,a,.t... ,.m.;
=teens. and (Ivy provisions. which we " We both htgan a huvried search along ' The male mat, awl it was not till a 4'.6. young woman gave you that babe' -- -.1'r., 1:',.r: ."' "*""'" s"'''
..., ‘.03,8 4. .4 OM 90. .4
expected to eke eta whit fresa game. . the bed of the etre= for gold. We : ebeir had been brain% and the table to bold while the went to 8ee about leer
Dee- lf0--Bread, 3 cente; pie, 4
and the seemed day saw us en our tray. • found it in particlee-here, there, and upset that he was battled out of (Wore benne. didn't elle?"
cents: detean mane 4
Is into an uninhabited region. everywhere -sparkling like fire be- 1 by the lege aud given a. fling through , 'Yea"
cents .4 P.. Ake ea en .4
aWell. now. I knew it as roan as 1
I pass over tbe that few days of re- math the light of our torch; and while tbe gates,
mantic exploration, during width we we gathered it, It king eagerly among "Now, then, you braro-faced old ,i C411' YOU. You expeet her beet. I sup. Dec. 21-011, 10 CCI4U; cake, 8
1
COWS.% 4. e* 4.. .0 ..
penetrated deep forests and dense Jun- tbe rocks on every side for emne en- i 4raerprol4 rollu! Ingoeva0p0eQ.1;erol„,1tue'di'thhe"euf," poiseceeeereee, Dec. 22 -Sugar. 6 cents; bread. 2
l tine as he got up, 'Tee no tramp! I 1 "Hai Hat You are looltin for ber
gles, where vegetation ran riot. forded riehing vein, we ledulged in the wild -
outs loo to ee Ore .0. .53
Dec. le-Breacl, 2 mats era
Total. .• e. eg 0
Nis mot extravagant week. Mittel f
no one to be my companion. Now if . " '11 I b"° eTeaetsRtIn in the was roacgaYeal-tela. eht.93PtenCdhitrul6r7rre:Vviel;dina.M'?eir feet
"What le t?" I said handing 11 10
numerous streams, climbed steep hills. if est dreams of wealth and =add= (ma this property and live in this every minute., ain't your g Dec, 23 -Porn Cleope
cents 44 44 40 itit ee
Thee passed unbeeded, our torth house!" Oee. 24-Cranberriee, 7 eerits;
burned low. and yet we thought of "You do?"
boldlng yo
At last coming back down tbe ce1:s, that's raY wire
nothing but gold.
stre
am toward the edge ot the dark
abyss, my companion saw soraething
that drew him forward in haste. 1 per-
ceived his danger, and shouted;
"Have a varel"
The words had not done echoluet
through the subterranean gloom, when
there was a sudden slip, the dashiug
forward of a human body, an agoniz-
ing scream, the ghastly gleam a a
swiftly descending torch, and then I
was alone in the bowels of the earth,
in the most appalling darkness.
For a time 1 was bewildel•ed and eetu-
Defied, and I sat down there in the
rayless darkness, moaning and wring-
ing my hands. Then I shouted the
name 'of my companion maul, thins,
and begged him to answer me, though
I knew It was all in -vain. Echo alone
responded -an awful echo -that flnellY
died out far away in the terrific gloom.
At last 1 aroneed myself to thoughts
of my own preservation. Fortunately
I had brought with me the means nf
striking a light, and one bundle of
sticks was still in my possession.
I lighted the last torch, cast anima
one terrified glance, and hurried
away from the roaring water, that was
singtng the funeral dirge of my late
companion.
My presence here now Is a proof that
I reached the outer world alive; out
inore than once I was in delimit., be-
lieving I had lost my way. Atte- that
had a long, weary journey back to
Port-au-Prince, and a was tot till near
the close of the fourth day that I came
In sight of Ehe town. It rained a great.
being completely drenched, I was often.
deal during those four days, .nd afte!
exposed to a scorching sun.
The effect of all this was a fever,
which kept me on my bed for six
weeks, during which time my life was
more than once despaired of: and It
was nearly four months from my iirst
attack before I was again fit for busi-
ness.
My purse having now become pretty
low. T bethought me of my eolden cave,
turd nt once endeavored to turn it to
le ie fteroent.
T 'mentioned my dim -were to several
difforent parties, tslliug them, at the
tore time, tbe sad tale of the loss of
eo:nranien.
scaled precipices, &waded into dark
valleys, and saw nature in all her wild -
nese, grandeur and beauty, with
enough et peril from wild beasts and
poisonous reptiles to keep us 'keenly on
the alert
On the littb or sixth day we discov-
ered tile elnest se'a' at all -a succes-
sion of precipice, like so many ter-
races, one above another, dowa whieb
Poured and roared a series of cascades,
With mountains towering far heaven-
ward on three siclea of the whole, and
a tranquil river and a flowery valley
on the fourth-altegether a combina-
tion of grandeur, beauty and sublimity
Mat was really enchanting. We spent
tbe remainder et the day here, built
our campfire an one of the highest
ledges, and slept lietening to the music
of the night -birds and falling waters.
On the following day we dloovered
the entrance to a, beautiful grotto,
which we Immediately determined to
explore.
Collecting some resinous sticks, and
binding them together to serve for
torches, we ligbted our bunch, and en -
tend where perhaps the foot of lean
had never before penetrated.
The entrance was narrow, a little
higher than our 'heads, and my com-
panion went cautiously forward -with
the light, and I as cautiously fol-
lowed.
After getting in some fifty feet, in a
zig-zag course, we suddenly came to a
large apartment, hung with the most
beautiful stalactites, which flashed and
sparkled in the light with an effect
wbich defies description, and we could
easily fancy we were in a palace of dia-
monds.
"This is worth the labor of a lifetime
to behold!" exclaimed my companion,
enthusiastically.
"Gorgeous beyond my wildest
dreams!" 1 replied.
. This hall was very large, mot less
than three hundred feet in length, by
two hundred in breadth, and in some
places perhaps fifty feet to the roof,
with an even, level floor.
While feasting our eyes on the sur-
rounding beauties we gradually moved
on, and came to where three dark pas-
sages led deeper into the bowels of the
earth, the central one going straight
forward, and the others turning off re-
epectively to the right and left. We
• took the middle one, which was about
ten feet wide, and as many high, and
arched at the beginning with nearly
as much regularity as if eut out by the
hand of art.
• After advancing a few paces we
found it gradually narrowed, and be-
gan to descend somewhat abruptly, the
air becoming more damp ancl heavy.
Presently it expanded into a long, low
hall 'of solid rock, which, unlike the
first apartment, was dark and gloomy,
affording the wildest contrast.
On exploring this apartment we
round no less than six more passages,
leading off In as many different direc-
tions. ,•
We selected the largest and still
went forward,. though I confess I be-
gan to feel a little Uneasy, for fear we
might venture too far, lase our way,
and not be able to get back.
"I think awn come bade"
"Ha! Hal raellre inc. but I can't
belp laughing. A woman once played
the same trick on me. I was in Chi -
"Thunder:" whispered the muscula cage You're caught, young man. Sho
man as be gaeed from one to the other took YOU for a. hayseed."
and realized that it was 11 wife's "Oh, She'll eorae back." answered the
method of finishing a row alf4 7 .1 been young man as he leoked anxiously
having with her husband. And 'en he around.
made a grab for Mu coat and 111581••"She will, ell? Hal Hai Hal What
Nand hato the darkness. Makes you think so?"
"Why, because she's my wife, and
• Ire Below the Uvol Thing. this is our first baby."
They had just got raarl led and were "Oh -um -I eeet" mutterd the fat
starting on their honeymeon. The man, and he wan in ouch haste to get
bride bad got the men elle loved, fuel back to the other :tide of the room that
she didn't care who eaw her put her he nearly fell over a mreing pug acne.
head on kis ehoulder. The britieeroom ' -Buffalo Enquirer,
had got a farm with his wife, and 1: ha
:Vert of theta ‘iste.led with indiffeo-
epee. evyipt- of.1 not think geld
atinegb. <ami& be fonnd thetaa to defray
ha expense of searching for it; and I
was altout to give 'Pp the idea or mak-
eny repeey out of it. when T for-
ireately met a specailatintr waeoatanan.
NO. rilt d roe what sum 1 would re-
nal -a to enicle him to the ctreern and
e",nqt-deli all claim to whatever might
ae found within.
I named a sum eqnivalent to twenty-
five thoesand dollars, anti after con-
aiclerable arguing, Be offered me twen-
ty thonsand. whicb I finally acrented.
• I gelded him to the grotto, condocted
Ilim to the subterranean stream --at
which I shuddered as I again beheld it
-showed him the little sparkles of
told, and • received my promised, re-
ward. T never saw him afterward, bet
heard that he made a fortune by his
ilurchs se. •
That twenty thousand dollars, so
ittrangely adqUired, I may say was my
first real start in life. With that I
bcgan to trade In different articles.
wanted to squeeze ber hand hard or
Were area of 1,e‘r Word.;
feed her with sweets, wheee huele. There is a little settlement of New
was it? A little old man at oppo Hampshire people in Hiowa county. ;
the couple, and be looked at thee. eo Colorado. Among other things they
often that the young husband finally brought with them the New Hemp -
explained:
"We've just got married."
"r lthowed It all the time," chuckh
the other.
"And. we caret help it, you know."
`ueztvt
'"No, can't; I'll be blon•ed it
you
"I presume it all seems very silly to
an old man like you?"
"Does it? Does it?" cackled the old
fellow. "Well, 1 eau tell you it does
not, then. I've been there three Ulnae
over, and now I'm on my way to marry
a fourth. Silly? Why, children, it's
paradise boiled down!"-Lonelon
Answers.
shire aversion to using any more words
15 convers.atIon than are abeolutely 4
necessary. Two ot them met on tho
road reeently, and indulged in the Tot,
lowing dialogue;
"Month'. SI."
"Moraine .70sh."
"What'd you give your 'horse tor
hots?"
"Turpentine."
"Moraine."
"Moraine"
A faw days later the men met again,
and here's the way a hard luck story
vas told in mighty few words:
"Moraine Si."
"'Moraine Josh."
"What'd you say you gave Year
horse for bots?"
I"Turpentine."
"Killed mine."
"Mine, too."
"Mornina"
"M.ornine"
As to Strikers.
"What's the matter with that man?*
asked the clock. "He doesn't tteem to
have anything to do but wind me up."
"No," replied the calendar, "he isn't
working. He and his companions'
struck some time ago."
"Huh!" Suppose I should stop work-
ing every time I struck.
"That's so, but I notice it freshens
me up every time be takes a mentb
off." -Philadelphia Press.
itieettryine toe rdints.
A gentleman was once Laing showa
aver an idiot asylum, says Sir Wilfred
Lawson in Answers. He asked an at-
tendent how they knew waen an idiot
;was coasidered to be sulaciently re-
stored to sanity to be discharged.
"Oh," said the attendant, "it is easily
managed. We take them into a yard
where there are several troughs. We
turn on the taps and then give the
idiots buckets to bale out the water and
empty the trougbs. Many of them go
on bailing away while the taps keep
running, but them that isn't idiote
stone the tap."
No Polities for Mary.
all right, Mary," he said, pleas-
antly. "Go. into polities if you want
to. But remember one • thing -that
cartoonists '11 be after you as soon as
you're a candidate."
"I don't care."
"And they'll put your picture in the
paper with your fhair out of curl and
your hat on crooked."
"Do you think they would do that?"
the inquired apprehensively.
"Or course. And they'll make' your
Paris gowns look like calico, and say
that your sealskin' coat is imitation.,"
"William," she said, after a thought-
ful pause, "I think stay here and
make home happy." -Tit -Bits.
Of •
DonI
t let us risk too much for the
' Rrst time," I said to my companion by
way of courtesy; "for I have no desire
There is not the least danger," he
replied. "I watch every turn, and
aonid find my way out in the dirk."
Soon after this we came to where
buying and selling, and two Years
•
the passage was so contracted that, at
rase we were compelled to stodp, and,
then to crawl forward on our hands
afterward returnod to England in a .
vessel•freighted by trtyelf. •
and knees 1 was .prosperous in all my under -
Again t remonstrated, but any coma I•a1c5 11-gc"3nd1W9'lltY •Yers agQ' 'retired
p--iac, did ntat heed me. ' from brainetis, baying ohat 1craisid-
aIle lt.ent on ill this manner for some crecl enoug,b of this woria's wads -
The 'Proper Treatment.
He -1 think you might be nicer to
Bounderston than you are. He's not a
had sort, really, though he is rather a
rough dlamond.
She -That's just it, dear; I think he
eyants cutting. -From London Punch,
stverything is Comparative.
A young Chicago woman, returning
to her mother with the odor of the
cocktail on her breath, was duly re.
proved, and excused herself by saying:
"You ought to see Minnie; 1 loft hal
asleep under the table." . Hverything
relative in this world.-Froni the Gal.
mg° post. , , ,
•
-Philadelphia Record.
Xu the Garden.
The Beetle -What a cold, Mrs. Bade
The Bird -No, it's hay fever, cause('
ny• eating too many grasshoppers.
Addressed the Jury.
A, Mall who had never seen the in-
side of a court room until he was in-
troduced as .91.. witness in a case pending
• in one of the Scottish courts, Ou being
sworn, took a position with bis bach to
the jury and began telling the story to
the judge.
The judge, in a bland and courteous
nia"linAdetlrresVsdy:ourself to the jury, sir."
The man made a short pause, but,
notwithstanding what had been said to
him, continued his narrative.
The judge was then more explicit,
and said to him, "Speak to the jury,
sir; the men sitting behind you on the
be'hnchees‘i
The tiAess at once turned around,
and, making an awkward bow, said,
with perfect gravity: ,
• "Good morning, gentlemen." -Buffalo
Courier.
• Andree's Buoys.
Mrs. Meddergirass-I tell you, they
Just ought to send the sheriff after that
ina.n Andree, who is going to the North
• Pole in a.13 loon.,
Mrs. Nexdore-Why, what's wrong
,with him?
.• Mrs. Meddergrass-Paw read in the
Clarion that they had found, the fourth
boy he has, dropped from the bloon
once he started.--Voltimore American.
demean:nue 4 eeaut:
calm, 6 cen.s; butter.
.11
(15
.11
.15
.15 ,
at cents ee le *4 00 44 .39
Total OS 44 44 44 44 44 *4 04 04 111.23. ,
In proof of his clalus Mr. Morel..
who is a well-preserved. bright-eyed
and cheerful neau, exhibited a yard
of his culinary expenses for twiny
weeks. He said;
"I have been boarding niyeelf the
hest five years, and I like it better
than most boardingehouten I get
all I want to eat of plala food and
it agrees with my health. Dr. Har-
per is right. A healthy couple could
live on *COO a year if they went about
It in the right manner and with
cheerful epirite. 'He who hath a
merry heart bath a continual leant:"
A Sul -pried l'ompitio.
When your little brother or sister
bas a birthday party and you
want n novelty AIs a centerpiece
tor the table, try the anichantea
pumpkin" and see what run it will
make for the guests.
It ought to be a prize pumpkin and
a big one. Scoop out all the
that will do well enough to make
pies, Then stuff it full of small pres-
ents, tied up in mysterious looting,
bundles.
To each, package tie a bright rib-
bon, letting the loose ends fall out
over the sides of the pumpkin. Then
carefully replace the cap or stem part,
which you cut off, so that it will look
as if it was still whole, and place it
on your tea table. Surrounded by
ferns and colored autumn leaves, and
decorated with the drooping ends of
the ribbons. it will make a very pret-
ty centerpiece.
When the feast is over let all pres-
ent guess how niany Seeds are in .he
pumpkin. When ail have guessed tell
each to take hold of one of the rib-
bons, and when you say "three," they
must pull on the ribbons, and in that
way they will see how many seeds are
in the pumpkin.
Of course, each guest secures a gift.
Almonds Fondles. Brain Workers.
Blanched almonds are the highest
hind of nerve or brain and muscle
food, having no heat or waste, says
a writer in Good Housekeeping. Wal-
nuts give nerve or brain food. muscle,
aeat and waste.
Green water grapes are blood puri-
fying, but of little food value. Blue
grapes are feeding and blood malty-
ing, but teo rich for those who suf-
fer from the liver. Tomatoes have
higher nerve or brain .food qualities;
they are thinning and stikulating.
Silicy fruits give more or less nerve
or brain nutriment, and Some fear
muscle food and waste.
Apples supply the higher nerve
and muscle foo& but do not give
staying qualities. Prunes afford the
highest nerve or brain food, supply
heat and waste, but are not muscle.
feeding. Oranges are refreshing and.
feeding. Green figs are excellent food.
Dried figt contain nerve and muscle
food. beat and waste.
The great majority of small fresh
seed. fruits are laxative. Lemons and
tomatoes should not be used daily in
cold weather; they have a thinning
and cooling effect. Raisins are stim-
ulating in proportion to their quality,
A oArKroWN STA
titteSeented to ll1,10 r: Abe Ate e
th.
"'Mandy Matthews is a Darktowli
star," stated the ofacer we en a 'Croaked
Alley belle's Dame was celled.
"Where is ?dandy?' reeked t
conder.
The couet bailiff teed clerk made *
search, bet Mandy was not found.
The turnkey was appealed to, and he
stated that he lied sent up all the pris.
l'he bailiff taen algae a seusatioaal
discovery. Mandy was in the male
waiting mem, attired in reale clothea.
"I understood you to Say," reMarlied
the recerder to the policemme, "that
Meedg vas a $ r in Dere:town. She
aeeras to pose up liere a tbe losC
Pleiatle."
haie't no ater Bur sun nor eeofea,
ueeder," old Ili ey. "leen lest auntie'
bat Die Mandy Mattbewa, an' -dere
hain't no use ter be celitin pee out=
mY name, needer."
The officer more tbat Maady had got
drank tax cern liquor. nue wbee the
Peolde ne Crooked Alley otejeeted to her
cursing elle began a batela wita recka
add munitions 01 war.
"What deo the star say *boat the
caargear the roe:Order asked the we -
Men.
ege dat bit am er hull lot of faber-
kohan," replied needy, with great la-
dignatien, lending vehen mace to her
speeen. "Fit's ad de weak of er lyien
gene,reaben ef vipet,a."
'Tell Me. Mandy.' Urged, the reeekede
er, "why you are dreesed la malo ate
theet"
"1 yea er practicitie tor de Diaraternn,
drePeatleb elute" was the reply, "and
had an my edge axed togs ter de play
vixen de perlice cummed."
"I'm going to fate Yea $10.15 for
wearing theee clotbee on the etreets."
announced Recorder Broyles. "When
a woman p-assen off for it reale in At-
lenta che will certainly get etananel
it email: or fratta. 1 tell you tbee muebe
eo that yoa may bc be:ter pented In the
tuture,--eatiaeta. Constitutioa.
The people of the United•States use ,
more meat tham the • people of any. I
•
other nation. , England ranks second
and the other countries come far be-
low. A. person may eat meat perhaps
to advantage once a day. It is not
necessary, however, that meat should
be on the table three times a, datql
in fact, it is quite an objectionabli
custom. --Ladies' Home Journal.
',neve tneGolr Palls go<
"Slitneem." said the ening Watt wbg
delighted in golf, -*Was heart -broken
wawa be loot Dee eixth golf hail the
ether day, 'allot we were rlaaing ule in
Datebeze =My. He is a eerie=
Minded individual, and wben he eaWi
the last bard rubber epbere go Into Ilte,
drink' he sat (WWII ea a, bunter aull
looked at nte Very cc:teat:le awl delta.
mutely'.
" 'This is eueneueablee cell he, *when
man loses golf balls iu suet a way as
this lee either ought to Una them or
give up the teazle for geed. It Sinew
very weak ammeter:
"That last ball had gone into a Pond•
wed tbere evemed to be conietbing zo
ridiculous about. the idea of a Man
searching it place like that for a, ball
that all of us, tbe doctor, the student
and I, began to laugh.
"The pond was near the end of the
links, and it was a elimy bit of water.
It WWI just about wide enough to get
a ball over it. There might have heat
no trouble rovideel that were dry lana
for that dietnnee, ant the :Thine of t1g5
water alwayo made Yon pause and wink
and think, and no a remit the ball gen-
erally made a gentle little splash. and
you stood on the bank expreesing your
feelings as best you could.
"Tho caddies grinned behind their
stands as Slimeon slowly took off his
variegated stockings and roiled up his
abbreviated trouzers. He was a sight.
The edge of the pool nels lined with
black slime. and as Slimeen went in
he nearly fell into the pond. Ile
caught himself just in time, and start-
ed at the exploration again. He bad
it sapling in one band, and he lo
for till the world like an Indian wad-
ing a stream to hide his trail.
"He stepped on a tin can end rollea
and pitched Mee an Atlantic liner in
heavy seas. The water was above ills
knees. He stooped down and plunged
Ws arra down to the shoulder. The
eleeve at his resplendent shirt had been
insecurely -rolled. It slipped erora Its
moorings and was dyed by the black-
ened water. He lifted up his climbed
fist and brought up what looked like a
bit of coat He washed the black
thing about in tbe water a little, and
there, sure enclugla was a golf belt
"'Well,' said I, hope that you are
satisfied. Do you think that it paid
tor all the trouble?'
"He did not Say' a word. He went
groping around the bottom ota, that
pond and brought up another'lmil. He
kept right at it, and when he was
through he had rescued thirty-seven,
balls.
"'Yes,' said he, 'I think it was worth
while.'"
Tied to get It Done.
'An intelligent looking boy wa e
Into a grocer's shop the other day, and
reading from a paper said:
"I want six pounds of sugar at 234.d.
a pound.
"Yes," s.ald the shopman, "that will
be one and three halfpence.'
"Eleven pounds of rice at 150. a
pound."
"One and foorpence halfpenny,"
commented the grocer.
!Tour pounds of tea at lc. 8d. a
pound."'
"Six and eight."
And so he continued: "Five pounds
of coffee at I.s.10d.; seven tins of milis
at 530.; four tins of tomatoes at 61id.;
eight tins or sardines at is. 11/2d."
The shopma3a made out the bill and
handed it to the lad, saying: "Did' your
mother send the money or does she
want them entered?"
"M'y mother didn't send me at alt"
.said the boy, seizing hold of the bin.
"It's my arithmetic lesson, and I had
to get it done somehow."
A Suitable Applicant.
Some peen' want something for
nothing, an exceange taht is by no
raeans equitable. The fellowing story
is' told of a recent advertiser, whose
like is to be encountered frequently.
The announcenient ran:
"A lady, in delicate halth, wishes to
meet wit ha useful comPanlea. • She,
must be domesticated, musical, early
• riser, amiable, of good aePearance,
and have some eXperienc of nursing.
Total abstainer preferred. Comfort-
able home. No salary."
Shortly, afterward this estimable
give -me -everything -for -nothing lad
received a parcel bearing the familiar
.inscription: "Thit side up, with
care." It contained a meek-lookinn
eat.