The Goderich Signal-Star, 1974-11-21, Page 27careful no
uma.y
e on candid radar
Stop and pull over here
SUGAR 'NSPICE
bg BIU SMILEY
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A bits and pieces column. Educational Communications
First item shows a malicious Authority, afairly• sacred cow
delight in '"catching' someone with the Ministry of' Education.
out" as the `phrase goes. It is The Authority wants English
, , one of the less pleasan(aspects department heads to tick off a
of the human character, but at list of the books most used by
students in our high schools,
with a view td buying the movie
rights to the 20 most popular,
There is nothing people enjoy so that they can be video-taped
more than somebody else's feet and made available' on a wide
° of clay. How we all secretly• basis: A laudable plan.
• rejoice, if not openly, when a It was when I started -to scan
cabinet minister is caught with the list that I • thought it must
a blonge who is not his wife, or .be a put-on.. I re -checked the
a�prominent judge is nailed on accompanying letter. No, it was•
an impaired driving charge, or real, it was official.'
a teacher is discovered nur• I looked over tho?�list, a fairly
comprehensive one of most of
the literature used in our high
schools, and started ticking off
the obvious -ones: Macbeth,
Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet,.
the same time has given a great
deal -of pleasure, over the cen-
turies, to the human race.
turing - marijuana in hh/her
window boxes. •
Disgusting, and definitely not
Christian, but it's fun. I've
been a victim myself. Sent out a
questionnaire to elementary Death of a Salesman, Huck
school teachers of English last Finn, The Great Gatsby.
year. There was one spelling ' Everything in order,
error in it, and I didn't .do it, a There I • tu:rned to Page 2 of°
the list and nearly fell off my
chair. I came to two con-
clusions. Either the chap who
had dictated the' list had failed
to proof-read it, or the
secretary who had done the
typing ha,d finished Page 1, and
gone out and had a large liquid
secretary did. But about 50 per
cent of the questionnaires
returned had, the mistake cir-
cled, and some gleeful little -
remark attached.
Now, it's my turn. I have
before me a list of novels and
plays sentout by the
Judy Redmond.
SUGGESTS --
Bath Products
CHANGES ordinary
skin Into
fragrant SiLK
RIECK
PHARMACY
Larry Rieck, PHM.B.• Archie Barb'er,,PI4M.B.
NOTICE,
To the electors of
Colborne Township
4,
Polls for the election for representatives on Huron
County Board of Education will be held Monday,
December 2, 1974, from 11 a.m. - 8 'p.m. for the
following polls
Poll #1
Poll #2
Poll #3, Township Hall, Carlow
Forester's Hall, Benmiller
Homf Mrs. W. Crane, Saltford
Poll #4 Home of Terence Hunter, L.R.W.
Advance Poll, Saturday, November 23, 11 a.m:'-
at the office of the clerk, RR 5, Goderich.
Wilmer Hardy
Clerk,
Colborne 'Township
and Returning 'Officer
p.m.
lunch before tackling 'Page 2:
Doti Quixote came out as
Don Quiote. This 'must be an
animal story about a coyote
called Don. Emily Bronte must
be twirling in •her grave on the.
moors, to see her magnificent
Wuthering Heights described as
Withering Heights. .
Thoma0 Hardy will be
having a celestial seizure when
he realizes that his great Tess
of the D'Urbervilles has a new
title: "Tess of the D'Umber-
villes. D'Umber than what?
A science fiction novel, The
Chrysalids, has . a' new life as
The Chrysslids. The Litcic. ' of
Ginger Coffey has been tran-
sformed to Lack of Ginger Cof-
fey. Probably. some Sort of
rationing.:
A fine western novel, The Ox
Bow Incident, has changed
shape. It is now the Ox Box In--
cident, a rather square title, if I
Max say so. •
A' Grade 11 standard, To Kill
a Mockingbird, has become To
Kill a Mocking Bird, Can't you
see that bird, just sitting.
around mocking the old lady
who owns it?
But perhaps the greatest
blow' to Canadian literature,
and certainly the one that
• nearly bust a gut in •-a number
of English teachers, we,s,the up-
dating of that fine,- old novel
about French Canada, Maria
Chapdelaine. It is -now called
Marve Chapdelaine.
That is an obvious backlash
by sortiemale chauvinist pig to
the entire Women's Lib.
rriovernent. But I'd certainly
like to read the new version. I
can just see Marve up there, in
the Quebec ba'ckwoods,
• brin4ng in the kindling,
worrying . about . wolves, and
having babies under primitive
conditions. Poor Marve. It was
OK for Marie. She had- guts.
But Marva doesn't 'sound as
though he could hack it, with a
name like that. limagine he'll
die in childbirth, or be eaten
alive by mosquitoes, or drop a
pot of scalding soupe aux pais
on.• his fobt, or something /like
that.
Now I know this entire
column is completely unfair. to
the poor guy who made up the
ca
Wa'tch the
speed
limit
ro
GODERICH SIGNAL -STAR, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 21,. 1974
,.'
Have you ever been driving It is capable of picking up a
down the road, nonchalantly vehicle one half mile
cruising zi few miles over the -away. Traffic- travelling in the
speed Itniit? 'Or maybe you opposite direction dots .not •af-
«'ere hurrying to catch the first ' feet it. .r -
rare Then ,ail cif, a sudden a Most people are very co-
polc(e ofti(:er steps out in front operative, but some say, "I
of you and waves you to the wasn't going that fast," accor-
side of the road.' ding to 'constable, Jarczak.
:::(h darn!" u You say to • They see the radar and put on
yuursc if -"The cop's got the the _brakes, but by then, their
radar (Fut"' speed has already been recor-
Y(,u grudgingly • accept the ded...
ticket, pay the fine the 'next He said mast people get
clay• and tiwear you'll' never caught because they just aren't
speedagain. watchalng their speedometer,
"There's little else you�'c"•an do. and lot just take a chance,
The radar system istl foolproof, that the rata,ir won't be out.
explained Constable Tom Jarc-;,,When asked what kind of ex-
zak of the Goderich Police as ruses he gets from speeders, he
he' showed how the radarsmiled and said, "One man told
system works. me he was going to a funeral."
Above the hack seat, under 'A-4 The • radar equipment is
the rear window, sits a grey always in. working order. It is
and hlue radar emitter. The`' tested always,
tuning•-fork each
radar bounces off the ap- time it is put in .use. It is also
preaching vehicle, returns, .and calibrated regularly in Toronto.
records the vehicle's, spend on a It* is very sensitive, and may
gauge which is plugged into the . pick up a pedestrian or - a
cigarette lighter socket. Thecyclist, but if there are two cars
faster the car approaches, the `� travelling a fair distance apart,
faster the beam returns, •it will pick up the faster moving
Tho officer watches the , one. If they're close together,,it
speedometer -like gauge. As will pick up the first one.
soon as it records an offender There don't seem to he any
c'r'uising over the sped -limit, he solutions to avoid being caught
presties °a button, freezing the by radar, not :even .tin foil in
speedometer needle. He then your hubcaps. The only sure
flags over the speeding driver. way is to stay under the speed
The radar beam ethitted, limit, because anytime, • any
goes vitt conically, eventually place, anywhere, you maybe on
covering hath sides of the road. candid radar..
PAGE 1A
To the voters of We Wawanosh Townsip-
1 WOULD, APPRECIATE YOUR
p
SUPPORT ON DEC.' 2ND.
JOHN RUTHERFORD
FOR COUNCIL
Robert K. Allin
Encourages you to vote on December, 2nd
and solicits your support as oUnclllor.
Hey'Girls!
Give him the.
quality he
expects
sP0
.. s
Smile, you re on candid radar
list. But I got so much pleasure
from it,, purely malicious
pleasure,' that I couldn't refrain
from pasing it on.
• And the sheer joy of it is. that
it comes from an Educational
Authority:In Capitals. It would
be no fun at«all if it came from
an illiterate bookseller,
It'S• interesting to learn that
your neighbour is going to have
a baby, after 15 years of
sterility, or that your Unele
George hard an affair in
Singapore when he was in the
merchant navy, .and before he
became a church elder.
But it's sheer glee when you
discover that. someone away
above you in the hierarchy has
committed a ' monstrous boo,.
boo.
We all have clay feet, laut6'
most of us keep our shoes
tightly laced;. or at least our
socks on.
JOIN THE CROWD
`(fir/ I.ANSA/11174 ;IS*•
For sound
government based
on "nb conflict
. of. interest" decisions
FOR'
Sid teFq ' pOR
}'FD
se,/,‘
P44 7 •
.4.0 P44TF'D
DEPUTY -REEVE
To the citizens of Goderich
-1 respectfully solicit your, support at the polls on
December 2.
• Sincerely„
Eileen Palmer
RE-ELECT:
JOHN
WESTBROOK
TO -
REPRESENT
Goderich & Colborne
Townships on
HURON COUNTY
BOARD OF EDUCATION
A dalry farmer in' Goderich Township since 1951.
Four children, twb in elementary school, one in
School and one In university.
"I *bllclt your support on Dec. 2nd"
Nursing
Respectfully
John Westbrook
NYLON & DUCK -PILE LINED
PARKAS Faom 0'23."
Denon me's
Industrial & Garden Centre
'66 Hamilton St. Goderich 524-87►61 •
"WE CARRY K -Vitt PHARIACEU"ICALS"
4,'