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The Exeter Advocate, 1893-5-4, Page 7LAUGH AND LEARN, Bribish India has 10,417 licensed (Tient hops. The eerreepondence of he Pepe is carried lea in latin. A Russian is not legally of age until he le '26 years old. More women marry between the age of 00 and 25 than ab any other time of lite. The first English work that mentions coffee is Burton's " Anittorny of Melan. °hole." The average lin of women in France for the teat 32 years has been 38 years, and of men 36 yore, Do nob overload the plate of a guest, or press upon any one that which they have once detained. "The bride's father gave her away, did he not ?* "More than that. He threw in 4150,000 to boot." Chicago's mortality densities show that a surprisingly large number of residents of the lake city live to be over 90. The oare of the forests in Germany imp - ports 200,000 families and involves an annual expenditure of $40 000 000. Verdi received more than $30,000 in eash for "Falstaff," and has eines received 40 per cent of the box-office receipts in royalt nies. . A few drops of myrrh in a wineglassful of "'meter will make the breath delightfully sweet if used whenever the teeth are cleansed. An old Episcopal church in Fairfax County, Va., for the rebuilding of whioh George Washington drew the plans in 1773, is still standing, practically unchanged. Mrs. Lynn Linton,the novelist, attempted a three -volume romance when only ten years old. Her first successtul book was printed when she was twenty-two. In China a man cannot by will dispose of his land in favor of any one person, whether relative or stranger ; it must be distributed among all his male children without mune ettion. Edith—Oh ! Mrs. Muffles, haven't you gob a mind? Mrs. Mules—Goodness „amanita, child! What de you mean ? Edith --Because ma told pa that if you weren't) very careful she'd give you a bit of hers! The Kaiser is a very expert horseman. „Notwithstanding the disadvantage of hs lame and useless hand, he is afraid of no .horse when once on its back. He is obliged to rely on assistance in getting into the addle. She—There are moments when I wish that I was a man. He—When, for exam- ple! She—Whenever I see a jeweller's adore I cannot help thinkinghow happy I .could make my wife by buying her a new ornament. The Dowager Duchess of Sutherland was duly arrested yesterday by a tipstaff of the Probate Court, and was taken to Holloway Jail, to whioh she has been sentenced for six weeks for contempt of court. Secretary Gresham having learned that 'a ,charge was pending against the two Ohilian refugees under the protection of Minister gan, for violating the municipal law of 'Chili, has ordered their surrender. A case of smallpox is reported in the city of Winnipeg, and, the victim is a young girl, employed as a domestic servant, who did not belong to, and had no communication with, the recently arrived party of iminn anent& Count Inetinoky, the Austrian Premier, announoes that the Austrian Government twill not grant an exequatur to Max Judd, of Sb. Louis, appointed by President Cleve- - land Consul -General for the United States! at Vienna. The details of the calamity that has be- fallen the ieland of Zante show that since the beginning ot April there have been a total of 100 earthquake shooks, averaging five each day. It is now known that 150 persons lost their lives in Monday's disaster. The Pope yesterday gave an audience to -480 Belgian pilgrims. He referred to the recent mots, and said that good Catholics ,ahould not allow themselves to be deceived by evil -disposed workingmen. They ought to not in harmony with their employers, nander the guidance of their pastors. The failure is announcede of th Aus- tralian Joint Stock Bank, with liabilities amounting to £13,000,000. The deposits amount to nearly £11,000,000. The failure was due to the heavy withdrawal of de. posits. The bank was incorporated by Act . of Council in 1853. Ite paid-up capital was ended as £704,394. • In "The Medical Magazine" Dr. Blaok- nnan says than the effect ,of music is trans- mitted by the reflex action of the nerves -which govern the blood supply; that it directly affects tin circulation of the blood, the blood pressure sometimes rising and emnetimes felling ; and that the action of music on animals and man expressos itself eor the most part by increased frequency of the beats of the heart. Renee'that music is needed for the invalid, and becomes an important factor in restoring the nervous invalid to health. Mrs. Potter, who ran for Mayor of Kan - teas Ciby, Kg., makes affidavit that she spent es 61,000 in her campaign. She received 26 ..{ nrotes. The Keane political sharpers frenged themselves around Mrs. Potter, who le a vain and frivolous woman, and made her believe that her election was almost • nertain. All that was neoessary, they seed, was to throw a little mcney in the election. 'eelp to the lase moment these sharp poli - etiolates clamored aboub, pretending they were hard at work, predicting victory and ezaking for a little more money. A French scientist of distinction Prof. .d'Arsonval, asserts that persona apparently anilled by electric shock, stunt as that ern- :ployed in legal executions, are not really. dead. Unstrapped from the death chair, the unfortunate criminal may yet be re- vived. The thought is a stunning one, that prisoners executed by electricity are not <lead until the application of the surgeon's !knife when the autopsy is performed. M. d'Arsonval challenges American phytionne to try the method of resuscitation pre - :scribed by hitn for persons who have been eubjected to electric 'lock. This challenge must be accepted. Until the remit is known disoustion must be arrested. . lb is not always tan to be too confidenb in your assertions, even to at ignorant man, eoe he tray get the better of you in an argument This truth was well illustrated in a story told at a recent conform:ice on technical ecbulation in villages. One speaker, referring to the prevalent ignorance about common things, said then he mice taw a taboret digging flint in the chalk, and asked him if he thought) they grew. "No," was the reply; "1 don't think about it; I knows they do," "Then place a fillet on your chin -they -piece, and tiee how much it grows in a twelvemonth.' "All right, sir, and do you the name with e tater, and ea) hotv mueli that grotve."—Yetetkee Btade,' leteeiclent Eliot, in a recent address to the atudetite of Harvard, had this to eay of married life : " An element in a matisfac- tory career is a family life—the greet source of herniae happiness. This family life, mobbing te be looked forward to. Leek forward in your Physical and rnerel WO to marriage and children, ene you never Will prepare for anything better in bleb life, The °home of a wife is the most Important Moine you will ever make. Do net melte it hastily, and do not marry for anything bee love. The most idiotic thing of all is to marry for money. * * * Married 11110 improves as it goes on, You may think your wedding day the happiest of your life, but it will net be, for your happiness will increaee until you become a pateiaroh." The New York Ledger gives the follow Mg pithy paragraph: "A person who has no Malan in life is apt to run a vagrant and useless career. A man who aims at nothing cannot reasonabty expect to hit anything. In military operations there is always what Is called the objeetive point. The objective point is the point to be made, the thing to be done. All the forces of the army are to be concentrated on the making of thab point, and when that point is made success fellows. In one sense life is a warfare ; it is A enociession of eatinpitignS. And every one should have this objeotive point—a clearly defined pur- pose—and work up to it with undeviating peraistency. This ie the only way he can succeed. The New York Work i publishes a long list of inetenoes where capital punishment in thab State has deprived innecient men of their lives. Here is a ease which ahows the unreliability of oirounuitantial evidence in a strong tight. A young woman committed suicide 112 New York last Thuraday by throwing herself under a train on the Third avenue elevated railroad. Four witnessee identified the body after death NI that of Johanna Tenzer, a young woman living in Brooklyn. One of the witnesses identified a wrap of paper that was pieked up On the spot when the suicide was committed as being one thab his daughter had given to Miss Tenzer with his address wribten on it. Stu% evidence would convince a good many juries. But Miss Tenzer is alive and well, and curiously enough she resembles the dead girl very strongly. Few men in this world are able to travel in the coinfore and magnificence in whioh Dr. W. Seward Webb, son-in-law of the late W. H. Vanderbilt, and President of the Wagner Palace Car Company, is making a two months' tour of the United States. His party is twelve in number and they will travel in six cars, one being a store- house for baggage and provisions; another a stateroom car to be eocupied by the guests; a third a private oar to be used ex- clusively as a play -room for the children a fourth a private oar for the use of Dr. Webb and his wife; a fifth car to be used as a sitting -room, library and music -room, and the math a car in which the meals will be served. The itinerary has not been fully arranged as yen but the first stop will be made at Chicago, the next at New (Meant', and from there the party will go to Cali- fornia. The Yellowstone Park will also be visited. It isn't) the pleasantest thing in the world to live in a house with a sign To Let " on in It is deoidedly exasperating unless one has the patience and the disposition of an angel. Every passerby who Bees the sign feels at perfect) liberty to ring the bell and ply the person who answers it with ques- tions. "How many bed -rooms are there in the house ?" one person asks, and the next one who sees the sign stops to inquire: "Is there a bath -room in the house ?" Another is curious to know whether there is hot and cold water through the house, and someone else is only concerned to know if the inner is damp. Of course the people who live in the house feel in duty bound to be 'civil to all comers and answer their questions, no matter if they waken the baby a dozen times a day and seriously interfere with the work of the household. There are some people who come to look at the house you are about) to vacate whom it is a pleasure to show over the preinises. They are so pleasant and agreeable about it, while others are so disagreeable and snappy and go poking about at such a ratethat they are immediately seb down as nuisances, and ten to one are the very ones to leave it to the last minute to decide upon the house they will take. Its all in the air though, and house hunting comes in with the April breezes that are strangely like March, and is all of a piece with housetoleaning and other disagreeable things. But wait for sunny Jane to drive all these away and brine only joyful rest and peace. waited to Size tip congregation. "Now," said the professor of magic, "I am about to undertake a fest in which I shall require the use of a pint flask of whiskey." There was a dead silence. "Witt some gentleman in the audience favor me with a pint flask of whiskey ?" asked the professor, anyancing to the front et the platform. There was no response, and things were becoming embarrassing. "Surely," he said, "in a Southeastern Kentucky community I ought not to have to ask a second time for such a thing. I pledge you my word I will return it unin- jured. Is there no--" "Strangen" spoke up a tall, gaunt, hard ‘ - feathered man on a front seat, wouldn't a Quart flask do jeab as well?" "Why, certainly, I merely---" But the generous, open-handed audience had risen as one man and was on the way to theplatforme—Chicage Tribune. The Vienna Twist. Women who cannot) wear the " bun " chignon are favoring the Vienna twist. You make it this way: Firen have your fringe (or bangs) at least from four to six inches long and curl it tightly. Wetzel you come it out comb from, not toward your face, and gather all your hair into one teen tying securely just above the nape of the neck. Then tease oub the hair over bile crown and wave ie with the tongs. Twist the tail into a smooth rope and loop it up, twisting the end around the ribbon and tying the hair above. Curl any'Molt hair on the nape of the neck and pin the bangs back into place with invisible hairpins. Some women add a twist of velvet with up. right bows'others affect a wide fold of surah silk, fastened around the coil and Welled by a paste buckle. After the Proposal. Edwin --Will your mother consene, do you think? Angelitm—Yes ; 1 can fix that. I'll get papa to oppose it can't Reed the Last nage First. 44 I hate atrial etoriee in maemzinee," and she. "Why ?" he asked. " Because,' she replied, " you call never tell how they are going to turn out till You've read 'em through." A woman Donate' that, hor husband acme not wear his marriage ring on his fing fr, but carriee it in hie purse. She bitterly re- proaches him, whentimOrt he calmly re. Marke : " The ring is time where it ought to be My dem' since you did not merry me for myself, but for my money." A bride recently married in London were the wedding areas which had been mule for the Princess May, - THE RIGHT HAND. Why reepie Use it instead of the Left Hand. A seneetten Inviter Wett Than Answered Maw" Statements and Theories Mora or Less Plaitsible—Ineouveneies of the Left naiad. HY anybody should be left-handed iS one of those matters in which the question is easier put than an- swered, says a writer in Chumberanfournae. The reason whet we --- are right -ha n fi e d en has been met by abatements and eheories inure or less plausible. In the first place, it has been ahown that the human body Is not eyrnmetrical. The righb lung is larger than the left. The liver, during the inspiration of the lunge, swings to the right side, so that the centre of gravity of the body is brought nearly over the right foot. The weight of the viscera to the right of the medial line is nearly a pound and a half heavier than that to the left of it. All thin while it gives a mechanical advan. tage to the right arm in working, and to the right shoulder in raising a weight, shows us also, passively, burdens are more easily carried on the lefb 'Moulder, for in that case we stoop forward so as to bring the centre of gravity through the atronger right limb. Again, it has been pointed out that the left hemisphere of the brain is larger and better eupplied with blood -vessels than the right, and that it is the left hemisphere of the brain which, working crosswise, controls the muscles of the right Um and hand. Then there is the sword-andelield-stery, which considers the earliest condition of man to have been militant. To soldiers, the vital organ, the heart, being on the lett side, it was thought necessary to cover it with the shield and wield the sword in the right hand. True, against these is the wet -nurse theory, whioh supposes left-handedness to be favored in youth by the fact of the infant being carried most frequently on the left arm, thus giving .more scope to the early use of the child's lefb hand. Fashion, how- ever, is always alert, and to this imperial mistress even our limbs must submit. Fashion incessantly demands that the right hand should have the preferenee. INCONVENIENT TO BE LEIT-HANDED. So that, with all these weighty reasons Why we should be right-handed, ib is mar- vellous why left-handed people should be found at all. Yet such are by no means uncommon. The teacher of an elementary school who watched the proportion for many years gave it as his experience that, in the ruraedistriot in which his sohool. was situ - abed, more than 5 per cent. of the children were left.handed. In these oases the ten- dency could be shown to be hereditary ; and the left hand, even to the size of the thumb nails, showed itself larger than the right It was painful to see the attempts made by the left-handed mile to write and cipher normally; and, after the right hand had been forced into service, the re - Butt was a compromise, the writer generally developing a handwriting inclined neither to right nor left In the making of figures, both the 3 and the 6 were for a time re- versed, and 8 in some cases formed by draw- ing the straight line down and curving the ',thin. from , below. In the mechanical trades, the carpenter's bench, his gimlets, screws and many of his planes are made to suit the right hand, so that a left-handed apprentice is handicapped, and must either fight) against nature or obtain tools fitted for the left hand. An elab- orate print -cutter's gauge for measur- ing off different sizes of copper re- quired to be driven into the pattern if made for a left-handed man is of little value when exposed for sale. But we do not need to go far for illustrations of how inconvenient a world this is for the left- handed. Purchase a scarf and the left- handed owner finds the slit through which the part requires to be pushed to catch the pin on the wrong side for him. Let him alt down to dinner and the waiter brings the dishes from which he selects a, part to the wrong shoulder. Let him lift a moustache cup and he perceives his peculiarity has not been taken into account. Let him attempt to mow and he fain would reveres the shape of the scythe. Let him learn drill or danc- ing or endeavor to work in harmonious com- bination and his awkwardness as forever brought home to kip. DEFTNEsS OF THE LEFT. And yet, on the other aide, the despised left hand makes good its claims in many cams to be the defter of the two. The fingers that touch and &climb with such nicety the strings of the violin are surely as cunning as those that mo m the bow. The band that guides the reins and steers with exactness the horse through the crowded streets Is quite as cunning as, one might say much more than, the hand that wields the whip. Bat great is fashion, un- answerable is theory. It would appear that as life becomes more and more corn. plex we are becoming more and more specialized, end the difference between our limbs is encouraged, rather them hindered, by every pair of minors turned off at Shef- field, by every screw made in Birmingham, and by every slap administered to the young offending fingers that would dare to shake hands incorrectly. It is curious to notice the vagaries of humanity in cases where no hard and fast line has been already drawn. Although moat righnhanded persons put on their coats left) arm fine, a considerable per- centage thrusb in the right first. Beldame fire from the right shoulder, but sportsmen are found who prefer the left. In working with the spade, a proportion of right-handed men grasp the spade with the left and push with left foot and right hand; though, when using an axe, the same individuals would grasp farthest down with the right. The Persians mount their horses from the right aide, whichie the different side from that vnounted by leuropeene. SOME NATIONAL raneennemns. The buttons ou cattle etc., are placed in the right side, and the shed of the hair on boys to the left, evidently to suit manipula- tion by the right hand. The greab pher Newton records that at first he con. tined his patrol:mullein observations to bit right eye, but efterwarde he managed to ttain his left. But. thee are porticos who could not do thio owing to the anequal etrongth of their eyes. Strange to Hay, the Chinese assign the place of honor to the left. At Kunyenye, in Africa, Cameron relates being inbroduced to the heir - presumptive of the throne, the nein of whose left hand had been allowed to grow to an enormous length as a sign of high rank, preying then he was never requirea to perform manual labor, and also provid- ing him with the inematt of tearing the meat whioh ternaecl his usual diet. The falcon in Europe is tarried on the left Wrist, but la Asia on the right, The Latin ranee hold canals to be favorable 'when towards the right; but the Touter& reeee, including Or own, When towards the lett, The Saxon ramie, as mestere of the nr. gop, land 11101300re in the laying of railways, have imposed their own rune of the lefb 0140 on the Fon& and other Latin Wen who, however, still in driving and riding keep to the rule of the road derived from their progenitora. The hands of clocks and watches travel from east to west like the sun, or as we draw a spiral from theinteeler outwards; and eve baud aroundour playing - garde and our hospitable bottle after the tame fashion, which like fashion we adhere to in turning a horse, so that the violation of it, or the turning weaderehine—that is, against the sun—is considered unlucky. It ia a envious circumstance how few people ever clasp hands otherwise than having the right thumb outwards, or ooil thread save one WaY• ALL MEN LOBSIDED. With regard to symmetricality, nature, when she has a purpose to serve, IS nowise loth to deparb from it. Indeed, there is hardly a symmetrical human face to be found. The right eye and ear are generally placed higher, and the left leg 18 frequently the longer. Quadrupeds and very young children are more tistmmetrieal, leut the hernaib crab has the claw protruding from the ;shell the longer ; the cachalot or sperm whale has the eye on the one side larger than the other Parrots rather favor the right claw; and the African elephant—as Sir S. Baker assured the writer—works more with the right; busk called on eels account by the Arabs "the servant." Aristotle declares that motion begins from the right. "Wherefore the burden should rest on the pare moved, and not on the part moving, otherwise motion is more ditlioult." He also looks on the spiral curves of shell's as suggesting a right-handed designer. Another anoient philateepher assures us that our dreams are leas egotisti- cal and selfish when we are sleeping on our right side than on our left. IN ANCIENT TIKES. Cariosity was naturally highly strung when discoveries were made of exceed- ingly ancient engraving's and Beep - tures fashioned by cave men at an era farther removed from the earliest Egyp- tian records than ours is from those. We have the authority of Sir Daniel Wilson that the earliest records of the human race show a preference for the right hand, although not so completely as thab shown in modern times In the scarcely so remote bronze age, the pre- ference still holds good. One has onlyto look over Egyptian, Etruscan, Assyrian, Greek or Roman pictures, engravings or sculptures, to see that man was righn handed en he is now, and thee he carried his burdens then, as now, mainly on the left shoulder, while his dress and decoration follow on the same lines as the soldier still wears his sword or the shepherd his plaid. At the same time shoes made wipe:deny for each foot, and gloves de- signed for each hand, have more of a modern aspect. The sandals of ancient times are extremely much alike. Among the bumble classes in Scotland sixty years ago shoes for young people not made for right or left were preferred. It is pleasant to be able to record that notwithstanding the sinister ridicule of ancient and modern language and literature, and the antagonist pen and ink demonstrations of doctors, there are and have been many eminent left- handed individuals both professional and gymnastic. A list of these has been pre- served to us through the labors of Sir Daniel Wilson and Charles Reade, the novelist Practising Self-Siterilice. Rev. Mr. Cymbal at 11.45 a. m.—Ib is not alone in the great battles of life, dear friends, that we must gird our loine. Every day, in the counting -room, the work- shop, the family end° and on the street, we musb use that eternal vigilance over our- selves that shall make us useful and agree- able to ourselves and others about ns. What if it be a little sacrifice, dear hearers? Remember that it is our sacrifices, our self - denials, our willing losses, and perhaps petty martyrdoms, that make the beauteous jewels in that crown we are all anxious to wear. Rev. Mr. Cymbal at 2.30 p. m. --Maria, have you forgotten that I like cranberry instead of apple sauce with roast pork ? Doesn't) matter if I did change my mind lest week; you oughts to remember without my ever mentioning it what kind of sauce I like—and the coffee was 80 poor this morn - Ing I tasted it all through divine service. Well, I'm sorry if your back troubles you still, but you married a minister, and they don't tread easy pathways. You've got your burdens to bear just the same as I have, and ib's no use shirking them. You'll have to tackle one of them now and copy that address for me that I've got to deliver before the Christian Endeavor Guild at South Beatville, and I don't sup- pose I shall get even my car fare.--Boaton Gazette. Not So Ignorant Atter AIL "You think you know a lob about music," sneered Mawson. "Bub I'll bet you don't know the difference between grand and condo opera." "Yes, I do," said Jackson. " Theres some fun in grand opera." Different Din& or Poetry, Aunt Priscilla--Elizebeth, Elizababh ! wasting your nine over Billy poetry again, J. eee. Besey—Bat, aunt, dear,, that is pas toral poetry. Aunt Priscilla (softening)— Ah 1 What is the pastor's name, dear ? Coneinsive. Sadie—Does young Giltedge ever imbibe too freely? Florris—Perhaps nob, bee I sew him last night trying to light his eigarette from an incandescent lamp. AWL Fort. Fortress Monroe is said to be the largest military fortification in the world. The aggregate cost of building and equipping the fortress is aaid to have exceeded $3,000,000. Wilhing t Mrs. Nagger—I would just like to see any one abduct ma Mr, Nagger—H'm, so would r, my dear. Wealth and Health. "You eay he left no money' ?" "No. You see, he beet his health getting wealthy, end then lost his wealth trying to get healthy. Too Sensible. Mrs. Matchein—Why didn't you marry her ? She ia aloha sensible girl. Hewman—Yes, that's just the trouble. The sbylish woman abroad on a rainy day seta to it that the lining of her mackintosh cape, her umbrella, her gloves, her soft felt or Alpine hat, her vein and her spatter - (lathes are all of the eame shade, which Must be a eonservative one, as dark gray or gold en brown. Henry Villard has placed 60,000 marks, or About $12,000, at the disposal of the Ger - matt Government to eneble worthy young lima to visite the World's Vein Allewanees avetagleg $450 will be matte to the favored came, 60 per rant, of whom must be entlearts, ineelianie tent theoldtiete IJORD DERBY DEAD. Death of the Brother or the HoYernor* General er Canada. _The deceased nobleman was the Right atm. Edward, Henry leniency, eldest son of the fourteenth Awl of Derby. He was born at Knowsley, July nlat, 1826, and was educated at Rugby and at Trinity College, Cambridge. He first entered into punies as member of Parliamene for Lynn Aegis and continued to represent it as Lord Stanley until he ouoceeded to the peerage. In March, 1852, he wee nominened Under Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs in his fether's firse administration. The death of Sir W. Molesworth in 1855 having created a vacancy in the Colonial Office, Lord Palmereten offered him the seen of that department, but he declined the tempting proposal. He became Secretary of atone for India, with a seat in the Cabinet, under his father's second admin- istration in 1858-9, and it was under his superintence that tbe management of the Indian empire was transferred from the East lxidie Company te the British Govern- ment. He was. appointed Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs in his father's third ' adminiatration in July, 1866. He was installed L rd Rector of the Univer- sity of Glasgow April lab, 1869. The death of his father on Oct.. 23rd, 1809, trensferred him to the House of Linde. In Feb., 1874, when Mr. Disraeli formed his Government, Lord Derby was again entrusted with the nen ef the Foreign Office, which he held. until March 28th, 1878, when he resigned. In April, 1879, Lord Derby withdrew from the Lancashire Then= of Conservative Aeaociation in wa- ft-mem= of his disapproval of the foreign ptnicy of the Government and dis datire to zentete aloof for a time from all party obli- geetenzet, and in October, 1879,1b became beaten that be had detached himself defi- nieney from the Conservative organization. F. them, sali himself with the Liberals and W.38 MOM 18 as Secretary of State Ler the abionies in Mr. Gladstone's Ad- miniatratien Dte. 16th, 1882, and held that office untfl Jetty 1885, In 1886, however, he took the Unionist side in the Irish eines- don. The Earl. was elected Lord Rector of the Univeraity of nalinintrgh in November, 1874. He will be succeeded in the title by Lord Stanley of Preston, the present Governor-GeneraI of Canada. The late Earl was married recently, but dies without sale. Musical Notes. According to the pianist Joseffy, Ameri- cans are too quick. He says: "Hasty attempt withone sufficient preparation is the bane of all American effort in the realm of art." This applies elsewhere. Another observer of American life says: "As soon as a student is able to earn a little money she stops studying and begins to teach. And this 18 a very bad thing— bad for art." This also applies elsewhere. Paderewski is reported as engaged to an American girl. It is also reported that he laughingly but positively denies the truth of the report, saying that " it is ridiculous that one so wedded to his art should have time for tender thoughts." - An English paper is suspected of poking fun at the rage for titles in music when referring to a proposed doctor's con- cert at Cambridge it speaks of "Dr. Max Brach," "Dr. Saint-Saens," "Dr. Tachaike- waki," "Dr. Bnito" and "[)r. Grieg." "What for I be made a, doctor ?" exclaimed sturdy old Handel. Madame Alban, once the greatest con- tralto singer before the public, and now in her sixty-seventh year, recently took an active part ia a musical performance on her birthday, and showed that much of her wonderful voice and tell her old style re- main& The following inanity is said to be in the libretto of a popular opera now on the boards in London : Ducky darling, sweety-meaty, Eassy-missy me, •Nicey-pioey. periwinkle, Lovey-dovey, rosey-posey, Oh, ker-noocue, do, Popsy, wopsey, kicsky-vricksy, Winky-pinkey-poo. Sash sublime verse must be very helpful and inspiring to a composer. The magnificent organ built by Messrs. Farrand & Votey, of Detroit, for the large concert hall of the World's Fair has four manuals, sixty-three speaking stops and tifty-three meshanical accessories. Ib will be one of the most complete organs ever built glade the Convocation Laugh. At a recent meeting of the Convocation of Canterbury the Archbishop of Canterbury, among others, spoke on the small stipends of many curates in the Eaglish Chureh. An enormous ameunt of money, he said, has been spent on the restoration and building of churches during the last few yeare, but nothing hog been done for the inferior clergy. l'he endowmentsof the church made due prevision for them up to the sixteenth century. Then the church was robbed by Henry VIII. Most of what was left was estate by Edward VL, and, the remainder was stolen by Elizabeth. Than he ceneinded, the church was beaten hy two kings end s, queen, le way of putting it that made the convocation laugh. Th.1 Art of Sell-Defene e. Quill—Wt icing another book this season, ol d men ? Scree-l—No ; I'm in treaning for a 6 -round go with Booth hi, Ham. Quill—Why, you fellows aren't pugilists, are you? Screed—No; but we've got to do some. thing to prevent the profesh from crowding us both from literature and the stage. Sticker. "Kate, what's become of the porous plas- ter I left in that desk?" "Porous plaster' Why, I thought it was one of those new posteme stamps, and I put it on a letter to ma." An Investigation. Younghusband—Didn't 1 telegraph you not to bring your mother with you ? Young wife --That's what she wants to see you about She read the despatch. HoW te Strop it Razor. The blade should be drawn from heel to point, starting at the heel and rawing it diagonally 30 the point and always turning it on the bank. An open question--" Will you *Me hut that door ?" There should be no difference between " company manners " tied thee') in daily use. Ilarkaway--Just before you Were married you told me that you loved ma But you heed not fan that I shall tell your luis- band, of it MM. Cutting—Indeed, I told him of ib long ago, bub he anti it was ini. possible. Uncle Ned—What are you Ong to give sister for a birthday present ? Oliver I'm geitig be ask papti, to get her a foot. bell, Mid 111 OnoW her lee* to play. " eloW bid leen /nest Last Witt nee " Row did you rest last night/" I've heard my graa'pap.say Them words a thousand times—thatis right.* Jos' them words that way ! AS_Mulotohul-like as mornin' dub 'IV ever heave in sight Olan'pap 'ud allus have to est— ' HoW did you rest last nightb" Us young 'Mas Used to grin, AS breakfast. on the sly, And meek the wobble of his ehla And eyebrows belt so high And kind. "How did you rest last night?" We'd mumble an' let on Our voices trirobled, and our eight Was dim and hearin' gene, * Bad as I used to be, AB a-wantin' is As puore and ea'm asleep for me And sweet a sleep as lus ! And so 'pray, on JedgementDaY To wake, and with its light See his face dawn, and hearhim say— "How did you rest last night V' —.Tames inite(mtb Riley. IT SALVED MS LIFE. Ingenious Interposition of a Little Word/ by u Speaker In Won't& A few days ago a party of Texae Con- gressmen called upon the President to in- troduce Judge Jacob Hodges who is a can- didatst for the Attorneyship of the Fastens District of Texas. " Oh, yes,". said the Preeident, instantly, "you are the man. who divided time with the negro who wee burned." Judge Hodges was naturally surprised that the President should have read an tamely the account of the terrible vengeance which was wreaked upon the Texas negro,• but thinking that the President had not heard the whole story, he said : "1 thought that I would prevent the tragedy if I could," said Judge Hodges " and 80 I rode oyer into the crowd with the air of a field marshal. I ascended the platform which wan already prepared for the negro and looked, out upon the angry mob. 'Fellow chime,' I began, 'you are about to commit a crime that will bring disgrace upon our fair and growing city. It will return to plague our children's children and wia redound to the discredit of our State. It will---' "Just at that moment someone in the crowd whipped oub a revolvers pointed it at me and shouted, Shoot the— "Instantly it seemed to me as if every man, woman and child had revolvers levelled at my unprotected breast. My wits did not desert me. " 'But!' I exelahned. " 'But!" I again shouted, still louder, "if we are to lay aside the slow processes of law and resume our sovereignity as indi- vidual men, let us do so in an orderly and quiet manner.' " That simple word 'bub,'" said Judge Hodges to the President, "saved my life. --Washington Poet. A. Lesson in Natural History. Teacher—What ia the use of a watchdog. John? John—To guard the home by night, sire Teachen—What does he do when ai stranger approaches the house by night' John—He barks'sir. Teacher—Does he also bark when the. master of the house, your papa, for ex- ample, comes home? John—No sir. Teacher—Why not ? John ---Because my papa never comes home. until near morning. Why Miss Itlarshall Objected. A gni residing in a Lek% Michigan town harrecovered $500 damages from a steam- boat company for naming a boat after her without asking her permission. An ex- change says she took offense at a marine item stating that "Kitie Marshall, having .been thoroughly scrubbed, painted, refitted with canopied stern and new boilers, will hereafter serve ea mei' carrier and poke her pretty 13080 mb0 the lake business for all she's worth."—Duluth Eferald. SOIFilte Saloon Statistics. Mere is a liquor saloon for every 93 per - eons in Sall Francisco ; in Albany, one for every 110 persons ; and. in New Orleans., one for every 121. parsons. Now, let some- body figure up the number of drunkards, and make the stetietice complete. If a woman an succeed in making her husband [mead of her she can get almost anything she wenn,. Few belies past, 60 have not had to wear mourning, ane nun" be said that ninety - women out of a hundred over that age wear black only. leishen that is the case, the double shawl is the most elegant and C0111. fortable wrap WP en !neck only is worn, it leaves little limit for choice in fashion'but there are endlees combinations in blackwith white tulle and lacer,. !wasaileeaRtFlettlatiestwswesesswwwwelsonaltrinaGeragalareleleelleila e Sower Ras no screed chance. Tbe lirst supplies it needs — if be takes toe wise precaution of planting Ferry's Seeds li'CrryiSieC8 Annual, for 1883; con titian all the latest and best information about Gardens and Gardening. It is a recognised authority. Every planter should have It. Sent free on requeSt. D. It FERRY & ee., Windsor, Ont. Shana7(RLpairir.dr uSET8 na TORY," whiola goes whirling all °Tor the UnitsS States to firms who wish to malt rEEE, armpit papers, maga:loco boobs pictures dards oto wIler swam ar..d onLir petronsreoalsoboanew of MAIL 4,4,0.25.a fig4.07:suillmitat AGENTS WANTED ON SALARY Or commission, to bandle the new Patents Chemical Ink Erasing Penni. Agents making 350 per week, Monroe Eraser lliAnufaoturing x200,La Crosse, Wis. FARMS IfOR SALE—THE tJeTDERSIONED has a number of choicest farms for sale Cu the County of Lanibtori, the garden of Canada for grain, fruit and dairy purposes; also town properties for sale in the thriving Town of Forest; a brick livery stable ter sale ab a bent gain. rirSt.claSS kilackenlith and carriage shop. Good stand. Anals. to THOMitait WOCD, Land and Geecral Agent, Forest, One. .......••••••••••••••••••••••••••*VNI. 1 CURE' FITS% 'Valuable treatise Ind bottle of inedleitte sent gOte0 10 Sufferer, Glee Exletets and Peat °Mee addiresa 85, UPOT. 88, COO Wint Atteltide MAO. Togoitto. Oat Illtistrated Pablications, R vvitti potAps, describing • Ilionilsoin, Moat Dade, Montan*, bleb°, l'i`ndbingion and Oregon. nat. Pleat covEnNtiiigNt NORTHERN AND LOW PRIOE LAN PACIFIC R. R. D 0:47 The befit hgrithilinrat, ilrartng titsitabee lands now open to Sottlers. Moiled RIME; Address ennti. 81, 118180815. Lruirl Com., N. P. 8.11 It , St. rant,311nn. FflhiOfl Valuable Datable and two betties of medielne wont Font 14 any Stalbret. ,Pled E*press dad Pett \Wee eddies's.- T. A. SLOCMA.6, CO,, 388 West Adalaidei &Anti Woroata,