The Goderich Signal-Star, 1969-05-22, Page 23 1 ERONAIrsTAR, TUiURSDAY, MAY 22,1969
Isn't tax time fun?
With the income tax return
safely off ,at the ° usual eights
'minutes before midnight on
the last day, and my wife, who
.figured out mine, nearing nor-
-.mal : a couple of weeks' later, I
think ,1 have cooled out enough
to pay a deep-felt, and deeply -
deserved, tribute.
Oh,'not to her. As I told her,
from a safe distance, "Any
dummy can do that." I didn't
really mean it. It was only in
retaliation for her applying to
me the epithet "stupid." twelve
times duriin, one Sunday after.
noon wile ,,;,.'aa helping her.
We got a' j'°: fet'ent total on
every column of figures.
Patiently, I pointed out to
her that women didn't have
the panache. t ,. deal with i n -
come tax i is. 'They want
everythi,
.;r o come out even
just' as ey do when wall=pap-
-ering. Men would much rather
grin fiendishly and say, "Let's
see what the computer can do
with that".
- Finally, in disgust, I left it,
to".,'her. She's so ridiculously
honest that I probably won't
even be fined- this year, as is
the custom. But that takes a,
lot of the fun and excitement
out of it. There's no joy yin
doing your income tax form
unless you think you've gotit
away with something.
No; the tribute I want to pay
is to a modern writer. He's
anonymous; or I'd trumpet. his
name from the housetops. He's
the chap..who produces that
,annual best-seller called T1
General Tax Guide. Don't 'let
the title fool you. That's -just a
front for one of the most baf-
fling mystery stories of the
year.
It's wildly unfair that phis
publishers, a stodgy old firm
called- Department of National
Revenue, with headquarters in
Taxation, Canada, do not give
this author the • glory and 'pub-
l'city which is. his due•. , -
•Not since, Nicolo Machiavel-
li wrote The Prince, back in
the sixteenth century, has such
a brilliantly, diabolically clever
piece of prose been produced.
And -this, guy does it every
year. • •
The 1968 edition of this
work ran to only thirty, pages.`
but it was a little masterpice.
It had the usual combination
of complication; suspense, mys- •
tery, irony and horror. While it
smacks of` Machiavelli there
are undertones of Edgar Allen
Poe. •
Mind you, it's not for the
average, reader, who likes a
plot with beginning,' middle
and end• This is for the more
sophisticated reader, who likes
jumping backwards, forwards
and sideways in an effort 'to
keep up with the subtle, invo-
luted mind of the writer.
Nor is .it a thrilling encoun-
ter for the fellow working for
a salary, paid by cheque, with
all deductions at source. But
for the citizen who has more
than one source of income, the
book's combination of ` back-
tra•cm leap -frogging, equivo-
cation and gobbledeliiok,, jre
Sheer delight. '
,,My wife enjoys this sort of
thing., In -fact, her favourite
indoor sport is reading aloud
to me. excerpts which prove
-that I am going to -•wind up in
the penitentiary -for life. if I
ignore. item 36 ...of this gem,
which the author, with typical
irony, calls a Guide. '
With a ,guide like this, who,
needs a compass. It's 'all "there,
perfectly clear". For instance,
she was delighted to find that,
because, we live in one of the
ted provinces of Canada, we
et something: an "Abatement
r Provincial Taxes:" This can •
amount to 28 percent. Juste
like money in the bank: Pretty
darn decent .of the federal gov-
ernment. It is actually .called a
"reduction."
Of course, you don't get this
reduction if you live in the
Yukon. You have to pay. the
whole shot. Pretty darn mean -
of .the federal government.
And, .of course, if you do live
in one of the provinces, your
"reduction" is added back
somewhere, and you pay the
whole shot, anyway. But this is
just one of the charming', illog-
ical little peccadilloes , that
make this book a "must" for
anyone.
Anyone, that is, who is. being
skinned alive by a trapper who
smiles and smiles while your.
pelt is being removed,'"
Toronto Toilworn Syndicate
Kingsbridge Kiippi�s,.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••*••••••••••••i•••••• •o•••••
Mrs. Jim Martin
Correspondent
529-7139
NEW BABY
Rorn to Mr. and Mrs. Frank
Doherty and family, an 6 lbs,; 1
oz. , son on Tuesday, May 20, at
dklexandra Marine and General
Hospital, Goderich: '
FIREWORKS DISPLAY
Neighboring families enjoyed
a display of fireworks on the
front lawn, of the Garvey
Homestead on the eve of
Victoria , Day. Hosting the,
display were visiting Clarkston
re§idents, Mr. and Mrs. Mike
Garvey and boys; Dr. and Mrs.
Peter Rolland and family and
Mrs: J.' M. Garvey, Toronto. Hot
chocolate , and 'cookies were
served to the 23' children and
nine adults at the close of the
evening.
PRAYERS FOR
IMPROVED WE'ATHE.R
A large number of people
attended prayers in St. Joseph's
Church Sunday evening to pray
for improved "seeding" weather.
RECEIVED FIRST
HOLY COMMUNION
Tony Hendriks, son of Mr.
and Mrs. Martin Hendriks and
Tony Knoop,' son of Mr. and
Mrs. Anthony Knoop received
First Holy Communion Sunday
of last week.
ATTEND BROTHER'S
WEDDING
Mr. and Mrs: Stan Doherty
and sons, Dean and Dana,.
attended the evening wedding of
Mrs. Doherty's brother, -Ron
Black, Goderich, to Betty
Mellow, Comber, in Comber on
Saturday, May 17.
SOCILA NEWS
Mr. Michael Penich is visiting
with relatives in Hamilton this
week: ,
Recent Sunday dinner guests
with Mr. and 'Mrs. Jack Tigert
and family were Earl Kelly and
son, Earl, of Blyth, Hector
Tigert; Port Albert and Mrs. Jim
Doherty and son, Jim.
Mrs. Eldon Austin has been a
patient, • in the Wingham and
Djlstrict Hospital since Monday
of last -week. • •
Weekend visitors with Ray
Dalton and Terry were Miss
Antionette Dalton, Detroit; Mrs.
Margaret O'Connor and
daughter, Marguerite, Toronto.
Mrs. Julia Langevine of
Toronto was a weekend guest of
Mr. and Mrs. John Howard and
family.
BUSINESS
G.
AS
USUAL !!!
PHONE NUMBER
OUR .0MB
- HAS NOT BEEN 'CHANGED
OUR TEMPORARY WAREHOUSE.
is
THE WEAR -WELL
HOSIERY BUILDING
MARY STREET CLINTON
WE HAVE IN STOCK.
MINERALS -
MI LK REPLACER
ANIMAL HEALTH PRODUCTS
PIG STARTER
CATTLE SUPPLEMENTS
LAY & HOG SUPPLEMENTS
WE WILL BE PLEASED TO SUPPLY Nittili NEEDS
Call Us' Or Drop In
CLINTON FEED MIL,
Visitors with 11th. and Mrs.
Orman Heffernan on the
holiday weekend were Mx. and
Mrs. Art Bilodeau, Mr. and Mils.
Andre Bilodeau and family all of
-Rexdale, and Miss Blanche
Bilodeau of Guelph.
Visitors from Downsview
with Mrs. Jim Doherty and son.,,
Jim, were Mr. and Mrs. Bill
Berry and boys.
Mr. and Mrs. Joe Martin and
family, Hamilton, spent the
t1
weekend with Mrs. Blaise
Martin.
Mr. and Mrs. Bill McDonald
and girls were Sunday visitors
with Mr. and .Mrs. Jim Martin
and family.
,Mr.. and - Mrs. Clarence
Doherty and family, Agincourt,
spent the weekend at their
summer home. '
Mr. and 1VIrs. Peter Van Osc
attended the wedding of a niece
irk Teeswater on Saturday. ,
•
• • •
••••••••••••-•
• 0•00400•010•0•01•01•••••100
Mr. and Mrs. John Van Osch
and Michael, St. Agatha, were.
weekend visitors with Mr. and
Mrs. Jack Van Osch.
Mrs. Bernadine Kenny,
Detroit, Mich. will be spending
some 'time in the. area visiting
friends -and opening her summer
home. Miss Fay Hogan first year
Home Economics student 'eat
Centennial College, Toronto,
returned home for her summer
vacation.
Kingsbridge 1st Company
Girl Guides -
Six girls were enrolled on
Thursday, May, 15, by Captain
Betty de Bruyn at St. Joseph's
school. Thy were Johanne Van
°Diepen, Cathy Doherty, Sandra
Dickson,. Lea Van Diepen,
Sharon Ti!gert and Linda Boel.
The guides held a discussion
on hiking, what kind of clothing
tewear, color and what food to
take.'
0•••0••••+0z••:O••�
Linda Boyle and other guides
from Lucknow took over the
meeting and talked to the girls
about stalking and how to play a
stalking game. The visiting
Lucknow Guides held Campfire..
a e
New songs were enjoyed and
the meeting was closed with
taps. The newly appointed
Badge ' Convenors were Mrs.
Walter 'eiate; TMrs. Jim Gilmore
and Mrs. Mark Dalton.
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