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The Exeter Advocate, 1892-9-29, Page 7'" ON THE UNION1S'r NECK," w Frederick Rarrikion, Would Dri,ve Rome Rule Rome. 'The enmetre nor Debate and Elve leinsdred leweeps ter the noose of lauds, The mot 'striking artiele ina jeterest. ing Fortniplaly le a Wont from Mr, Frederic; Harrisonds wererumpet on " Hove to Drive Home Rule Horne." As will be seen he has not minced his words. The formation of a Home Rule Govern- ment, after the utast prolonged and stub- born contest of this century, markt; A °racial epoch in the' political history of Enelend. It) opens a new se,t of problems to be worked ,out by new men in now wave. We have dono with Whiggery, bureaucrecy, elaesieeouomics, and theeircumlocution busi- ness of evbet used to bo celled " the govern- ing °lasses," At last we have get down to a genuine Democratic Republic, the antique formuals of which meat, be frenkly treated as merely :surviving formulas. Bat to make Um new policy lasting and fruitful, the politicians and elcatere \vim eve reeponsible for placing it in power must not minimize the great change they have made. The majority is sufficient ; but it will bear no half measures or temporizing spirit. If the collapse foretold by the Tories ia to be averted, it will ilaNO to be done by a policy of thorough. carried out by draStie, and perhaps, novel ineehinery. As to the prin- ciple of Home Rule, that is secure --finally and. irrevocably settled. For more than six years the whole political energy of all politicel waders hem centred. round this dominant question. There never has been :in English history any political issue which has been so absorbing; so exciting, so ex- haustively fought out in every corner of the three kingdoms. For the first time the whole adult male population have a great, issue forced on them, driven ieto their minds, explained, argued out, and illus- trated sewn ad sir/enema—and they have °even their answer. It is mere swagger to talk about the `House of Lords throwing out the Bill year :after year; and the claim of the poem to give the nation an opportunity of daddies; a direct issue is an ienpunent trick. The .nation has, with Malec toil, decided a direct issue, and will not stand trifling. No direoter issue will be suffered then what has been already judged ; and no Ministry will be overturned, or oven shaken, by anything the peers can do. On the contrary, it gmetly rstreugthened. Mr. Gladstone has given a formal pledge that an adverse vote of the Lords will not force him either to dissolve or to resign. Let it be distinctly uuderstood, as an essential part of t'ne Liberal programme, that the rejection of the Home It 13ill by the peers will be followed neither oy diesolution nor resignation.—but by a Bill for the Superannuation. of the House of Lords—and we shall hoar little of the peers rejectirig the Bill. We shall have a howl from the profeesors, the lawyers and the journalists that this is unconstitutionel, illegal, revolutionary, and the like. But we have got so mucb accus- tomed to their railing that we do nob pay much attentiou to it. Let us now try acts and leave words to them. Now that we have a Herne Rule Goverument in °patrol of the Ezecutive, with a Home Rule majority in the Hoose, and a Horne Rule majority in the nation, it will go hard if a mesolate Executive, with the whole 'lathed tv of the State and the people at it back, .cannot bring a few peers to their is.uees. There is alweye the last resource of Prime Ministere—creations. A regiment of life- gusaclemen merched into the House—nob like Orcenwell's to stop debate, but to take their seats as peers on the Ministerial eide —would be a dramatic end of a taugled situatioa. jesting apart, creatioas ea° possible ; and if the Crown were to hesitate, the Crown itself -would beinstamtlymenced by public opinion. Prepare the bill in a large and generous spirit, consulting the organs of all sides of /rush °pinhole Prove to En0.811, &oath, Welsh, Metropolitan, Leber,. and rural ;groups thet their claims are being taken in. hand, and their bills wait only whilst Home Rule stops thc way. Give fair time to con - :eider the new. bill—six weeks ought to ,sufficte. Give one full debate on principle— say four nights of six or seven hours each. Divide; aud suffer no second debate on principle.. In committee allow two or three weeke as a re eximum, using the closure every hour ; and if amendments multiply obstruc- tively, closure Lbw'. It was done for coer- cion, and it sboulcl be done for Horne Rule —fax est et ab hoste doceri. Only it ebould be done far more drastically—fairly, hon- eebly, but rigidly. Let it be understood that a fired time--sam three weeks Mx a maxi- STLUIT1--be allowed for cemmittee. It will be recce:mom to fix satiate ihnib for speeches in committee. One debate, limited to two nights, for bill as finally drafted. In this way it would pass before Easter. We home now come to e turideg-point in mir.coustitutional history, at which the House of Peers must do exactly as the Crown has done—surrender its veto in practice—or elm suffer what the Crown has auffereci, tool tisk a revolution. The Com- mons also have their technical rights. It is true that the Peers have a technical right to reject any and all Bills. But the Min- istry iu power also has a techuical right to .aclvise the Crown to create Peers, and it ,could elevate 500 sweeps to the Peerage, by the assent) of the Crown. And if the .Crowit did not aseeut, the House of Com- enoas ha8 technic:al eight to refuse supplies and arrest the machitery of Government. .It is idle to talk about technical rights. There are technical rights on both sides. .And the exercise of thesi rights on the popular side seems neither absurd nor possible to to men who have got rid of the glamour of the " theatric " part of our Constitution, and who see nothing but ab- surdity in this nation being under the heel of Lord Salisbury and his friends. Tho long and the shaft of it is that the Peere must give way—or go. And, of course, give way they will. Special protection for Ulster is sheer nonsense. Helf Ulster is fiercely Nation- ', alien and the other half must ehake down with the Test. Ireland is a netton; Meter ie not a melon; ib is only a 'group of two or three cot:aloe with a population divided in religion end politice. For the ,deseenclants of the adventurers encl buccaneers who con- fiecated the north corner of Ireland to eall out for a separate constitution is impudent bluster. We Shall soon have Birrnitigheat, and the" sphete of influence" of the Chant- berlo.in tribe, roaring fer a eeparete comet- -64U= to protect them from the natural conseqtiertoes ef their own 'misdeeds. Biteritnglintra and its " province " quite as real an entity in naglana so "131Eitor " in Ireland ; it is far more united and. home- geneous and oven more unpopular with the test of' the menu' ; and frummagern loyalists are eittite at uproarious as Meter toyaliete, Miich of oar trouble Cornea front tahing thee° furious Vnioniets at theirrown tion. They assume that binomial they have been insolent, demineeting, Seidel:. and, Itigh,hauded 40 long, this gittes them epecial ',rights and 1)145414%4st fectause they have trampled On the religion 0f their natien for centuries, therefere their own Seet is be have peouliar privileges. Because they have had wealth, power, honore, prestigeso long, all these muet be guaranteed to them by special exemptions, limitatione and pre. rogatives. We are not gohig to retaliate for their cruelty and meanness nor fling back on them their foul words lath losolent slaaderii. But let tie act wholly wed solely from our poiut of view, and treat their point of mew, their .pretoneions, their loyalty.," their " petriotism," with silent contempt. Liberals will live to repent it, if, having their heel at last on the 'Unionist nook, they take it up for mere howling till the work is done. HANGS 0E11'0 NOON. Ons' Earth illelds Miss Anna Dar rOlver 031. - tion. We have read how the coffin of Moham- med was poised without eripport in the mosque of the faithful, from whittle all unbelievers seems so rigidly excluded ; no material support was necessary to sustain the remains of the prophet, tho body itself eeemed ever on the point of folloiving the cleparten spirit to the realms of bliss. A perenuial miracle was indeed necessary to sustain the revered earcopliagus in span. The infidel, no doubt, is Nomewhat ekeptical about thie marvelous phenomenon, and now, as ever, the truth is stranger than fiction. Far over our heads there is a vast globe ltrger and heavier than millions of sumo. phagi ; no material eupport is rendered to that globe, yet there it is sustained from clay to day, from year to year, from cen- tury to century. Mat is it that prevents the moon Eal- ing? That is the question which now lies before us. It is easuredly the case that the earth continually attracts the moon. The effect of the attraction is not, however, shown in actuelly drawing the moon closer eo the earth, for thie, as we have seen, does not happen, but the attraction of the earth keeps the moon from going further away from the earth than it would otherwise do. Suppose, for instance, that the attraction of the earth were suspended, the moon would no longer follow its orbit, but would start off in a straight line ia continuation of the direction in which it was moving at the momeut when tho earth's action was inter- oepteda What Newton did was to show, from the ciremnstances of the moon's distence ancl movement, that it was attracted by the earth with a force of the same description OS that by which the same globe attracted the apple, the difference beieg that the intensity of the force becomee weaker the greater the distance of the attracted body from the earth. In fact, the attraction of the earth on a ton of matter at the distance of the moon would be withstood by an exer- tion not greater than that which would enifice lo sustain about three-quarters of it pound et the surface of the earth.—Good Words. She Cared Villa " When I was 30," remarked as old fel. low of 70 to a lot of youngsters, who were mutating their domestic experiences, " I martiect a belle of the county, and she was a lively GOO, I tell you. She was about 25 and had. a convincing way with her that was a caution. I had been one of tbe boys and she knew it, but that didn't hold her back a bit. We were in love with each other, and she was willing to run all the risks. For the first, three months I did very well, and then I began to steer out just a little later than before, and still a little later, but Hettie never said a word. One night I got in abort 3 o'clock and, as usual, she was asleep, and I crept in with- out disturbing her, though I was three hours later than any time I had got in since I was married. The next morning Hattie was as bright as a dollar." " What time did you get in last night, Tom ?'' she asked at breakfast. " Oh, along about midnight," I replied, evasively. " Worse than that," she laughed. " "Maybe it was a little later," I coe- fessed. " It was aboat 3, wasn't it ?" she asked, with the air of a person who knew what she eves talking about. "Oh, no, not quite so bed as thee," I hastily protested. "It must have been, Tom," she insisted, " for it was half pe.st 2 before I got. in, and I was dead asieeel when you came. "It was my time to make a few remarks theo, but I didn't make them. I confessed to 3 o'clock, and from that day to this I've been in by 9 o'clock, and I don't know yet whether she was fooling me or not. Good night. It's a quarter to 9," ancl the old man winker' out —Derat Free Press. eigissitooni nisiniseetante. One of the sirnpiestdisinfectants ole Oleic- roozn is ground coffee burnt on a shovel, so as to 511 the atmosphere of the room with its pungent aromatic odor. If tvyo red bet 00018 ere placed on a firs -hovel, and a tea- spoonful of ground coffee is sprinkled over them at a time, using three teaepoonfuls itt all, it will fill the room with its aroma, and is said to have a hygienic effect in pre- venting thespreecl of various epidemic diS0aSCS. The odor is very agneable and s000thing• to a sick person, where other die - infectants prove disagreeable. Physicians who doubt the power of .c998 es a disin- fectant,.frequently recent' :tend it ee a deod- orizer, and it is certainly one of the very besb and most agreeable. Most of the e - pensive disinfectants soM in the shops have no special power as such, but nee simply deodorizers, the two being frequently cora founcled. Ib is best, however, to obtain from a physician in Cases Of dangerous epidemics eomething that will certainly de- stroy the germs of the disease as well as deodorize the room, alma lac:etre osi elasticatten. IfalliriPll An rteleCE•Inflfnin.. LATICUI AND LOARN„, A„ Misplay nehlele Delighted a Crowd ob stmericanes The other efternoon One or four China- men were down, at the Monutneut Grounds in Washington, evidently MA for a frolics, aud for Omit et hate they were the centre of a wandering orowd sI Aneerieane, who enjoyed the moat fantastic; piece of kite. flying that is often the lot of a geed Yankee citizen. to ;see. Two of the Celestials were attired in feultless tailor. , mede clothes, but the other two till clung to the flowlog costume of the East, though their light silk bOthee and embroi. dered shoes were oE richer material than one often sees !sae from the mem- bers of the legation, Their kite was of the famous dragon pattern, and from the ground looked the exact counterpert of a huge red aud white lizard twenty or thirty feet long, with a staring head, blue whiskers and a waving.tail of flaming red cloth that laehed about 3a a wildly excited rev. The monster cut all sorts of strange antics. For a while it would lie still, straight and rigid except for the ceaseless movement of the red tail, Then it would begin to undulate like a great water -snake, and, darting about the sky, strain et its tether, threatening to crawl clown the chimney of the Bureau of Engraving and Printing, and then, chang- ing its mind, mount away heaveiewerd again with a snaky quiver throughout its whole length. The little Chinamen in a lilac silk shirt, who was engineering the ground end of the kiteditring„ seemed to heve some occult un- derstanding with his strange pet, in virtue of which it obeyed his slightest motion. A slight turn of his slender, brown wrist would send the creature mounting upward into space, and at a sweep of hie arm it would go through a whole mrial circus act. Ib pulled like a demon, too, and after capering around on his feet with it for half an hour in the etiff breeze, the Post says, its master was glad enough to sit down on the big ball of string on the ground and let his arm have a rest. But the most remarkable part of the per- formance came when one of the kite -flyers produced a light bamboo frame covered with rice paper, which unfolded in the shape of a butterfly. A pack of fire -crack- ers was attached to it, and when it was hung on the string of the kite it crawled steadily upward 1511 within a few feet of the dragon's head, when the orackers went off with a bang and the framework folded up and slid back down the string. When finally tired of their sport), the Orientals hauled in the monster, and as it lay on the ground its construction could. be clearly noted. Ib had a grotesque face, with a gaping mouth and windmill eyes that blinked with a rotary motion. The body was made up of twenty or thirty of the lightest discs of rice paper, varying from ten to three inches ia "disaneter, and stretched on delicate bamboo hoops and hitched tandem a foot or more apart. The whole was wonderfully light, but when ex- tended presented a surface to the air that made it float like a bir& its owners Paid that this was not their feast of kites. That came on Sept. 9th, said there would probably be more dragons aloft in the sky. They were merely out for a good time, and, as one of them remarked with a friendly grin, "This mla,kee Ill'e Flux, aunyhow." Dr, Lauder Bruuton, in the course or a re- cent letter on "Mastication,"at St. 13arthol- mow's Hospital, made use of the following remarks. : I think it was a magnificent etroke of genius on the part of the Pr [undone of the Royal College of Physicians, Sir And- rew Clark, when he informed Mr, Gladstone that he had one mouth attd 32 teeth, and thab for °troy mouthfulof food he took r every tooth 'should have a chance, so thathe should take 32 bites to every mouthful. " And," continued Dr. frunton, "f the pa- ilee:b has lost seine of his teeth he should ellen? bwo bites for evet'y miesing tooth and even that will nob always do if many teeth have gone, " 1 want my rights 1" fiercely shouted the bass -voiced woman from the piatform at the woman euffrage meeting, r, Yein can have '511 1," piped the husband' timid voice from a fa14-a,way corner, " am twins, and 1'11 go to the neighbor' mid gather up the other six." " IfoeY do you like married life, Emily ?" " Oh, inunensely." feolly ?" " Yee, really. We've been 'rattled ekactly a month now and we've had ton quarrels, and I've got the beet of it every time." Oid Niok-1 hope the World's Fair wilt be closed on Sundays. Imp,—Why, sire / Olailidk—whm, would be the "tee of our makiiig aopeoial e,thihibat Chicago if the people had no ohance to take it In? A Family Friend: An old man was leading a thin old horse across the comments in the northern part of the city, when a passer-by aslred him where he was going. 44 m searching for a bit of green for the poor beast," he aeswered. "I'd end bite to the boneyard or the glue factory," maid the other contemptu- ously. " Would you ?" eaked the old men in a trembling voice ; " if he had been the best friend you hnd in the world, and helped you to earn food for your family for nearly twenty-five years ? If the children that's gone and the chili -ken that's livirs' had played with their arms around his neck and their heads on him for a pillow when they had no other ? Sir, he's carried us to mill omit' to :acacia', an' praise God he shall die like a Christiau, an' I'll bury hint with these old hands. Nobody'll ever abuse old Bill, for if I goes afore him thereare those as are paid to look after him." "1 beg your pardon," said the man who had accosted him, " there's a difference in people." "Aye,aud in horses too," said the old men es 1e pasted on with his four -footed friend.—Detroit Free Press. The Gat Remedy. Speakingof cholere„ I recently had a, con venation with several naval surgeons who had spent coneiderable time in Asiatic ports when enolera Wag prevalent. On several occasions cholera had broken out in the ships, but the prompt. treatment and extra sanitary precautions readily ended it The cases were gencraliy traced to overripe fruit, and strict quarantine measures were the best preventive. Surgeon N. Mel?. Ferebee, who spent several yearn in Chin during an epidemic of cholera, chains that the wide flannel belts worn by the " blue- jackets " on the China station are an ex- cellent preventive and protection against the disorders that load to cholera. The welting of these wide flannel bands aboue the waist is regarded by many as a "sailor superstition,. but at least one good effect is seen here. The excellent bygienic precau- tion taken on our meet -of -war have kept the crews in good health in ports where epidemics were raging in all countries, from toyer in Rio Jemmies to cholera in Hong Kong, end all this is surely a great recom- mendation for the naval surgeon.—dfinash. 109100 Star. 4. Woman's 11;iy. A, hurry to the isltelieu, a strife With pot and A toxnpttiog Uttle breakfast set for a hungry Arlan ; A row oS fresh -washed dishes put hack into their plea , A. row 9f ehildin sent to school, ea.& with A hi sning. fa e. YOUOV gentlemen must not bo disturbed if the dleate little missives from fair ones in Enrope happen to amell ae if the lovely writer had beet flirting with nlophisto. Foreign mails are being fumigated. Mr. Cheekly—I'd like to borrow your umbrella,. Mr. Friondly--But you have gob OM of your own in your lia,nd. Mr. Oheekly —Yes, I know, but it is a, new one, and it ie going to rata like the very misehief. A man 100 years old has juab been com- mitted to prieon for three months ill RiMla for potty theft. It was his first offence. "It, is not the dancing, but the huggirig, that is improper," says the preacher. This complicates the matter Moat painfully. " Miss Budd's heart is like a voltam in a, circulatims library." "How 18 thee ?" "Not to be kept longer that two weeks." It is reported that William Black has announced that Andrew Carnegie will be the central figure Si his forthcoming novel. An Atchisoti eel, of whom lb is preclicten that she would wady marry a king, is in Colorado supporting her husband by kospirig boardere, Father --Everything I say to you goes in one eat mid out the other. leibtle Ben (thoughtfully)—Ie that what little boys has two cora for, papa I" Ethel—Whitt tete yen going to give the for my birthday? George -4 thought pea, haps you'd lileo those saspenclore you embroidered for MO laSt Christmas, 4. whirl (it sheets and pillows, of clustpane and, of brooms, set of smooth and suowy beds and neatly ordered rooms ; A rather rapid toilet within the glass a peen, A tidy hqusewife setting forth with market - K A little rest and reading, a noonday lunch tO get, A. rush of school -free ehildeu—a, hungry, hug- ging sot ; A trim and kitasteful street dress, a little hat of brow , A. solemn Shakspeare Circle," and a little Jaunt downtown. A most delicious dinner, served up with love and fun ; A ehat—a yawn—a pillow—and. then her Mee 18 Foety-nine per cent. of the dame in Lon- don are wet. Mars still glows like a locomotive head- light in the south. The man who is blunt of apeech is not apt to make cutting remarks. Mr. McFad—By jove I've burst my sus- penders. Mrs. Mcnted--Take mine. 1 will use your sash. Gaswell—I am determined to live to be a hundred years old. Dukane—Indeed I Gaswell—Yes ; I'll do it, or die in the attempt. Whittier's broad religious belief was indicated in one of his most beautiful and touching verses: I know not whore His islands lift Their fronded palms in air ; I only know I cannot drift Beyond His love and. care. Sick wife—I feel that I am dying, George. But there is only one regret on my mind. Broken-hearted husband—What is it, dar- ling? Sick wife—That it len% some other member of the family. Bleck Is so becoming to me. Willie—Mr. Deshawity, what is 0 thor- oughbred ? Dasheway—A thoroughbred, Willie, is a fellow who is game for any- thing, Willie—Then you must be one. Daehaway—Why ? saysyou are game fee her. "Henry," euquired the anxious wife, what doctor shall 1 ce.112" "Send for Dr. Squinine," replied the Bick husband feebly. "He's courting old Bullion's daughter and old Bullion is chairman of the life insurance company I'm ineured in." German studene logic: If there were no bievyers we would have no beer, and thou we could not drink so much. If we did not drink so much, we would not be so giddy and waste ao much money. Then we might become wealthy; and when we should have become wealthy we could—well, we could drink a great deal more.—Fliegende Blaetter. arm Of the man $ayere, he would couquor tho American. oId like uwo 01;0°111:: the 14•Pli49044 011et040 of ifelling flab alive is estimated that in London nearly 100,000 tons of sulphur are annually thrown into the air as a result of the contateeption of coal, Wife (intalatiently)—This new dreee doesn't set well, Md. I know lb. Husband --What makes yea think so? Wife—It's too comfortable. A long fiat joint of the thumb showe Will power; a long second joint Mdies,tes reasoning power ; a thiok, wide thumb in- dicates marked individuality. Clerk—llow shall 1 mark these goods;? Old Tapeyard—Just figure out 50 per cent. profit and add seven odd cents, so the women will think Wm a bargain. She—Oh, Charley that memento hen come from your hand to mine. Ple—Aw--- beautiful thought 1 that your blood and raine—aw—raing es m the same mosquito, The Queen tof England has selected the designs for the tomb of the late Duke of Clarence. The Empress of Austria has pre - muted the marble from which it will 'Went, "It's no uae'mamma," protested the tired and sleepylletle girl at church, "I can't hold my eyes open another minute longer. Ile's only got to "finally my brethren," When Francis E. Willard returns from England she is going to bring with her Wil- liam T. Stead, the founder of the Review of Reviews, whom she regards as the greatest living journalist She—I hinted to papa that you were likely to propose and half suspect he is going to rout a cheek to our prospective mar- riage. Ho—That's encouraging. I hope the check will be a liberal one. She --I knew her intimately for several years, and saw her in every condition of life. She was delightful—absolutely with- out peculiarities. Another She—Is it possible? What a peculiar person she must be. Woman's ephere is being enlarged ia England. In the British Medical Associa- tion the rule deolaring women ineligible for membership has been rescinded, and a woman is to speak at the next meeting of the Church Congress. The following mortuary advertisement is taken from an English paper : Beneath this stone, in hope of Zion, Both lay the landlord of the Lion; His son keeps on the business still, Resigned unto the Heavenly will. Old Friend—Your husband. used to be so rough and profane, and now he's so gentle, and refined, and courtly, I hardly knew him. Mrs. Minks—Yes'I've noticed the change. bet a cookiehe's got a type- writer girl in his office. "What is the meaning of the saying that a nie,n shall earn his breecl in the sweat of his brow ?" asked a boy in a New York school. "Have you never observed a man working 011 a warm day ?" "No, don't think I ever saw one." " What does your father do on a hot day ?" " He goes out bathing at Coney Island." "Whet is your father's business 1' "Ile ie a walking delegate." Dr. Keneen had been called to see Mr. Squildig, who was complaining alt variety of pains. After a preliminery examination the physician aaked Mrs. Squib -lig : " Are your husband's habits regular ?" "Oh, yes, doctor," ahe replied. " When he's able to go out he leaves the house just as soon as he's through his supper, aa regular as caule, and goes down town to Emend his evenings with tbe boys." Sheets and pillowslips made with hem- stitched hems and an embroidery of the in- terlaced initials of the maiden name of the bride -elect are now the proper peeseuts for girl cronies to offer the fortunate one of theft set. The girl who is married while this pretty custom continues in vogue will be sure to have a variety of embroidery designs in the collection of exquisitely fine bed linens which is now include.d among the essentials of the fashionable trueseo,u, for each of her friends writ contribute one set. Every women should strive hard to avoid morbidness and melancholy. Never imagine yourself neglected, for in order to have other people think well of you. you must think well of yourself. An under -valuation implies discontent with yourself, a went of courage, anct it is simply 00 timidity that ishoale be corrected. Right here a word ia regard to jealousy is apropos. Every time you are in the least; inclined to be given over to its pangs, remember that jesdousy is practically an acknowledgment of inferi- ority, and is not therefore consistent with your scheme of thinking well of yourself. The bust of the Queen, upon which the Princess Louise has been engaged for some months, and which Her Royal Highness has, with Her Majesty's consent, protateed to send to Chicago for exhibition et the World's Feeir, is now complete. It, ie e. notable e.xarriple ot the Primmer? skin, end, standing in the Queen's boudoir at °Ammo, it has attracted leech airstetiou among members of the Royal 'homily, The Princess has able been at work epee some pictures which are intended ter Ohicego, and these, it is said, will awe Mee exhibi- tion be sold, the proceeds being earn to some of the charitable instim teem iu ado country in which she takee sr, nntell interese Of all the daughters of the Queen Princess Louise is the best artist, though elle itt closely run by Princess Beatrice. MS END. The Indians had worried him; the Japanese hall buried him • the Southern mule had curried him, but'under this he thrived. The cannibals had pickled him, had bounit him and had tickled him; a silver man had nickeled him, and yet he still sur- vived. A. taAft crank had heated him ; a Brooklyn man had treated him, and. poker had depleted him and swept away his pile. A. cyclone swift had tbted him;BOA= girl had wilted him ; Hartford girl had jilted him, yob only made him smile. But when one nigh th e inarehedwithin &night, - shirt that was arched Within because it was so starched within, he triedto catchhls buiath. But when he rolled around in it, his curses made no sound in it. Next day tho man was found in it lied kicked himself to death. All reopectable and refiaed men and women smite in deploringthe popularity of the prize ring, but there is no denying the wide -spread human interest in the result of Wednesday night's conterse al; New Weans. Apropoe of this truth, the Neev York l'irites editorially recalls au incident preccdiug the IteenaraSityers fight over thirty sleets ago. It is the tale of an'aseemblage ef Englieh clergymen, in session at that time, who were zo intieh inore interested in the evetit of the forthcoming prize fight then in the cooled:Atkal considerations proper to the occasion as be scandalize the archbishop, who reprehetided their interact, in so velgar man debasing a emiteee, addiag that, far ins own part, he had never entertabied easy 1 arid all the Other cities( on the coats Tsvo doabt that, from the extraordinaty enaltaa at three inn:aired names woro miggostod, The man who used to say of sir Walter Scott that he "had no.e pride about him," has just died at the age of 93 years. John Douglas, of Selkirk, was a contemporary and acquaintance of Sir Walter Scott and the Ettrick Shepherd. Wall Street Broker (benevolently)—Let me see. I believe you are the, boy I bought a paper of yesterday when I clian't have change. I owe you three cents. Here it ie. Newsboy (who isn't the boy)—Never mind, mister. Keep it fer y'r honesty. "My boy is awfully smart," said New - pop. " He's only 3 years' old, but gracious, how he can count ! He counted his blocks the other day up to 25; and by Jove, do yeti know, when I came to count 'em to see if he was right, they came to exactly 17 "May I ask if that was your maiden effort ?' inquired a Chicago Tribune re- porter at the women's elate convention, edging his way around to the fair orator who had just sat down amid loud applause. "It Was not, sir," she replied emphatically. "I'm a widow." When "melancholy days" come round and loaves get brown and red, When corn is shocked, and when you add a blanket to your bed, When apples, pared and quartered, are set in the sun to dry, This is the time you smack your lips and think of pumpkin pie. This pumpkin pie's a tempting dish to almos any fellow, So sweet and tender, luscious Mum e and. then withal so yellow, You stir up eggs and milk and spice and. sugar —0, my eye! And then you add the pumpkin and that tuakes bhe pumpkin pie. A doubt's been growing in my mind and I've been thinking why, With eggs and sugar, milk anli spice, we call it pumpkin pie, For pumpidn by itself is naught—tis cow E —and by jing Eggs, sugar, milk and spice will make a pie with anything. How like to pumpkin arc soma mon who are landed in these clays, Somebody does the work for them and they usurp the praise. Henceforth, I'll make a xnetaphor when such au one I spy, And every false usurper I'll call a pnmpltin pie. The gold mire puts the drinker on his metal, es it were. Before a man has begun to think a woman hes begun to talk. Attalie—What IVO,S the original sin Travers—Eavesdropping. To stare at a pretby girl is an insulb ; to stare at a homely one is a compliment. " Mamma," said little Johnny, "12 I swallowed a thermometer would I die by degrees ?" He.—What! Reading a yellow backed novel ! She—Of course. You can't expect me to read any other kind svibli a black dress, can you? Young Mr. Dolley—How lovely those fleecy white clouds look lying against that blue sky. Miss Flypp—Yes, indeed. They look like delicious ice-cream on greet blue saucers. Dolley—Y-e-s—er, wonld von like some cream, Miss Flypp ? Mise Flynp— Doia't care if I do. How kind of you to suggest it, Mr, Dolley. (example (faintly)—Doetah, my-aw-head feels awful. Does grip' ovith go • to the brain? Doctor—Sometimee. Chappic—I have pains rushita' around all °vele in me arms, and hands, and feet and everywhere. Doctor—That's grip. Cha,ppie—What's it trying to do, doctah ? Doctor—Trying to find your brain, I gimes. " If you lost the nomination becauseyou refused to buy the delegates," observed the sympathizing friend, "you have 'nothing to reproach yourself with. Yon did right to refuse, and it is better to be right than Ito be President." " Yoe, I know," said the disappointed aspirant, "butt it hurts like thunder to be right) and then got left." My mother-in-law 1.10V8b iladerstaude joke," says a oorreepondent "1 finish a good. story, and. she Away!' looks up and asks, Welt, whet did the other man say?' As ske can't appreciate wit, I was surptieed to receive a letter from her a few, weeks after my little boy had swallosved faathing, io whish the last words were, Ilas Erneet gob over Mal=6'M difileta. tied yet The proprietors of a newtown site at the month of the Columbia, on the Crepe eide, offered $100 for the boot name for the 'dare great city that 10 to 'eclipse Portland out of which tho moors goomy adopts4 that of Terinanias" Utile worst lift.S puy Meaning at all, it IS that of " Thrice -mast^ noes," s° Three-tireee.nmet") It is told that on one csocasion duriag the honeymoon Walter OaVage Lander VW reading some of his own versee—and who read more exquisitely ?—when all at once the lady, releasing herself front hie atms, jumped tip, oaVing "Oh, do stop, Walter 1 That's that dear, delightful Punela pea - forming in the street. I meet look out of the window." Away went poetry awl away went the heart of Lander from wife. The man was unconscious, breathing heavily, and his half-closed eyes had glassy stare, Yes," said the, physician who had been /mealy called in, he musl. have blown out the gas." The man on the couch. opened his eyes and looked with stern reproaeli at the doctor. "No !" be said, feobly, "1 wish it to be clearly understood that I did not blow out the gas. I blew out the flame !" And the homeless, evanderer from Boston lapedcl again into unconsciousness. "Young man," said Bepresentative ' Allen of Misoissippi, "your father's words remind me of an acquaintance of mine who went out to Colorado and was thrown from a broncho pony and was killed. His companions sent this telegraphic message to his widow : " ' Jim has been thrown by O broach°, and his neck, both legs and one arm are broken.' "Several hours later they sent the widow this additional mes- sage : "" Later particulars. Matters not as bad as first reported. Jim's arm was nootutics. broten.' "—Prom " The Sonny Bids of p The prepondering prevalence of pie eating in New England is morespecially noticeable in the section north of a line running from the New York border, near Rutland, Vt., through Bellows' Falls aoross New Hamp- shire to Bath, Mo. Above this line the peasantry universally eat pie for breakfast. Whatever may be the consumption of this article in other sections of the East, the use of it at the first meal of the day is only observed in the region noted. The pie line oannot be found on anymap, but the tourist. soon finds out when he has passed within it. The quantity of pie afforded in a piece is also more generous. The New York habit of cutting pie into as many angles as there may be mouths at the trshole, until at times. they become painfully acute, does not pre- vail. The almost universal rule calls for a right-angled triangle of pie. If more than four persons are to be regaled more pie it produced. Great Men Usually Ugly. " Isn't it strange that nature made her great men so unpardonably ugly ?"queried S. T. Leathe, as he turned a portrait book of celebrities in the corridors of the Lin- dell. "Take the whole lot, from Socrates to Bismarck, from Pisistratus to Patrick Henry, and there le not half a dozen men who rose to real greatness, who could, by the boldest exercise of poetic licenee, be called handsome. Byron wee, probably, one of the beet looking of the lot, and he had a club foot, was mentally deformed and morally depraved. Burns was a fine-looking fellow, but he le one of the minor great-- cannot be classed with the world compellers. Voltaire was excusable for beiug in bad humor with his Creator. Re looks as though one of 'nature's journeymen' might have made him. Our own Henry Clay was so homely that he had to nee the horse trough for a mirror, and Lincoln had no use for an amorous looking -glass.' It is strange, too, how few great men look the parte I loam wested itt great deal of time study- ing physiognomy. It is a rank humbug r defy any man to tell a Marshal of France. from e dancing made; a United States Senator from a barber, tlae most profound. philosopher from a footman, the intellectual hierarch of earth from a teather-headed nincompoop, if they are all dressed alike and wilt neep their mouths shuts The chances arethat the lesser men will look the greater. I remember being at table in. the, Astor House, New York, when a gen- tleman entered who was an almost exact counterpart, so far as personal appearance went, of Daniel Webster, the shape of the head and face was the same, the expression much alike. I was profoundly impressed, aud resolved to make his acquaintance. did so, anti found that he lied for years conducted a dark -alley saloon in the old districts, until a lucky strike nutde him a man of wealth, but left him mentally where it found him—bat little better than a fool. No, you cannot judge a book by the cover, but you will generally find that. the showiest covers are pub on the most) worthless books." — St. Louis Globe - Democrat. The Girls Must .1Snswer. Noting the healthfulness, beauty and in- telligence of the yobng Jewesses met with in society, as contrasted with the prevail- ing type of American girl and her bundle - of -nerves characteristics, the Troy Press, asks some pertinent questions. How far is the beauty of the Jewisle maiden aud later her robust health as the mother of a large family, due to abate- iniousnese of the parents from dangerous food and stimulents, and how far can the American girl trace her nervousness to a midaight banqueting and an unexercising mother, and to aix over- stbnulated and under -rested father? Again, is it half-clad costuming and rounds of merely exciting pleasure? or is it a certain amount of attention to 'regular,. daily, perhaps household duties, which develop a healthy body and a mental balance? The Troyerneess asks us to "look at the American girls. They are bundles of nerves slight, beaubflul perchance, but their beautyr is fleeting. They do not enjoy good health,. They marry, and one child means au invalid wife and a husband reproaching himself for foolishly burdening himself throrigh life with eech a companion. Jewish families. are lerge, healthful and happy. Americans, small, weakly mid unhappy. No wonder the Jews are everywhere going to the front."—Bmialo Commercial. TM Demand, Jarvis—Miss Smithers ixati fifteen pro- poeals of marriage made to her the day after she graduated. Snoll—And she such a plain girl ! Whati was the cause ? Jarvis -4 -len commencement essay was on "How to Cook a Beefsteak. By the time the student has mastered all the long words of science his eyesight is too far gone to melee many discoveriee. . Ilene is an editor who 10 11013 frightened by the tendency of women to adept various articles of masculine apparel. The Indian- tipolio Yam says "Tho tendency of women to beautify and adorn whatever they are associated with is seen in those articles a dress whieh they have reeently adopted— the stispendere. In their original state tgly and unattractive, they have been em- broidered aud beaded until they can hardly be recogatized, and now they are fastened with jeweled bookies!, instead, of horst bob - tots or shingle nails." Seams miles la the greattat height ever' remelted 15 n. hatleen,