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The Exeter Advocate, 1892-9-29, Page 3SHE WAS TREE, AFTER ALL 1. ET me see --where was it that firet met her a Oh, yea ; t was under the ancient arches of the old bridge, boating by motsulight, the sound of a flute played softly afar off, and all of a midden the keel of my boat eoming sharply in contact with somebody else's oars. " Hallo, you 1" cried out a clear, incisive young voice. "Where are you going to? Why. don't you look which way you are steering 1" "Charley Dresden !" erica out I, little heeding the torrents of obloquy he was be- ginning to heap upon me. " Old Mortimore !" he responded, joy- ously. "Wby, who on earth would him thought of finding you dreaming on the Thamee ? Here Come into my boat. Bitch on,your old craft behind ! And let me introduce you to Miss Sophy Adriance." I looked as sharply at Miss Sophy as the moonlight and my own modesty would let me, for I knew that she was the especial admiration of my friend Charley Dresden. I had heard her blue eyes and peach -blos- som cheeks raved abount until even my rauoh-enduring patience had failed. She was pretty, slight, round and rosy, with ohiva-blue eyes, a dimple in either Cheek, and golden -brown hair worn in long loose curls, with none of the feshionable shoininations of crimps, frizzes and artificial braids about her. Hardened old bachelor though I WWI, I feltas if 1 oould have fallen in love with her oa the spot, if I hadn't known so well that Charley had the first inuing. We rowed home together, or, at least), as far ou our way home as the Thames would take us. Sophy sang little boat ballads. ,Charley roared out tenor barcarolles. I even essayed a German student song which I had leerned at Heidelberg, nobody knows how 1 tttg ago, and we parted the best oi friends If. A week afterwards Dresden and I met face to, atce in St. James' street. "• o, Mortimore !" said Charley, bis lonno visage lighting up. "What do you think of her ?" " eltink she is ahpearl—a jewel—a prin- icese ameng women !' I answered, with per- fect eineenty. •• Congratulate me, then !'' cried Clharley, beaming all over, "for I am engaged to her. Only bet night ! Look here opening IL mysterious silver case which he took from his inner vest pocket. " What do you think at that for au engagement ring ?" " A fine diseriond," said I, putting my head critically to one side, "and fancifully set," "We're to be married in October," said Charley, lowering his voice to the most con- fident:id tones. "It might have been sooner if I hadn't undertaken that business in Frantte for our firm. But 1'011111 be sure to be beck by Otitober." So we parted with a reciprocating squeeze of the hand, and Cherley's bright face haunted me all day with a sort of reminis- cence of what, might have happened also to me if I hadn't been five -and -forty, with a bald spot on the back of lay head. I spent an evening with her afterwards at the Watt Eud house, where she and her _another —a nice, bright-eyed, little woman, J the full blown rose to correspoad with Sophy's building loveliness—dwelt in the cosiest of averments, furnished in dark blue rope, and with wineries anti gerani- arns in the windows. "Its so kind of you to come," said Sophy. ..vith at gentle pressure of the hand, when I went away. 'I Ran so glad to wel- come Utterley'a friends." And I felt that I could cheerfully sit through another evening ot cornmenplace chitchat, and photograph albums for such a reward as that. Ill. Well, Charley Dresden went away, and as he didift, pa.rticularly leave Sophy Ad/t- eam in my charge, I didn't feel celled upon to pre.sent myself at the lodging -house where t he blue reps figuredanel the canaries gang in the south windows. I supposed, naturally enough, that all was going right, until one day I received a note front my old friend Bullion, the banker, at man of 60, who wears a wig and spec- tacles, and counts his income u on the double figures. Bulitoo wrote from Brighton, whore he had gone because he didn't now what elee, to do with himaelf in tise dull season. He asked tne to be his best rime. Bullion was graze to be married ! " Of ttourse you'll think it a foolish thing for me to do,"wrote Buthoo ; " but even at 60 a man has not entirely outlived the age of sentiment; and when mice you see Sophy Adriatic° you will forgive any seeming in - consists: ecy on ray part.' "Sophy Adriance 1" 'Was this the way poor Oitarley's blue-eyed fiance was serving laim while he was across the Onttnnel, trying tee gun at little money for her take ? My hears rebelled againati the fiekletness of fwomatt. I went eliraight to the pretty West. Bad house. It was poesible that I might be misled by 9. similarity of name, although fovea that was unlikely. "I edits Add:some at home ?" I asked of the serenest who answered the bell. " No, sir. Miss Adriance is spending a few wt eke with at friend at Brighton," she answertel promptly. Thiel; was enough. I went home and en- closed Bullion's letter iti another envelope, &reining it to poor Charley theedenti eddrose Porde Restante, Paris, Ada leg a few lines of my own, wherein I endeavored to mingle consolation and philosophy as aptly ae poesible. " ungracious thing for me to do, wending this letter," wrote I, " but I be- lieve it, to be the pert of a true friend to un- deceive you as promptly as possibly. Bul. Zoe is it miltionaire, Sophy ia possible but a, fallthle mortal ;liter all. Be at mew Dres. aloe, mei remember that she is not the only woman in tho world who would rather be AR old man's darling than a young man's Cleve." , .And thee I wrote curtly declining to steed up " with old Bralioe. It was but a few days subeoquently that the evaiter showed an elegantly dressed youtig woman into my room at the hotel where I 970.4 stopping. I rose in some sur- prise. &side from old Aunt Jane Platt end my laundress my lady vieitore were few. :But the instant eho threw up her thick tia- Wle Vr'll I recognized the Bolt blue °yea and dernoilt• retie cheeks ot Sophy Adrience. " Oh, Mr. Mortimore!" she cried pite. onsly, "1 know you Won't mind my coming to your hotel because) you seem exactly like a lather to me," X winced a little at this. "But / have received such at letter from Chat•ley and as—as you've kilown him for a long time, I thought perhaps yea could &galena it, to me. Oa, I have been so Wretched An indeed, indeed, I didn't ,deserve it I" She gave me at tear -blotted letter, and then sat down to ory wildly in the corner of the 0%, mita such time as I should have 'blithest its pausal. Itt was a lit roireok eb Ohttriey Dresden's impetuous natilre, full Of bitter rem -Wawa, dark innifendeee, hurling:back her troth, aid hinting gloomily at wade, When I dreatdreisteI. ecarcely wondered at poor Sophy's "What does he meant Mr. IVIortirnore," asked Sophy, plaintively, "when he. accusers mo of doceiviug hut, or selling my- self to the higheat bidder? Oh, it'a so dreadful 1" "Are goo about to become the wife of Mr. Bullion, the banker 1" 1 milted, sternly. " Oh, dear, no," said Sophy. "That's mamma !" " Eh ?" gasped I. "Wit mamma," answered Sophy, " She's to be married next week. Didn't you know it?' I stared straight before me, Well, I had got myself into at pretty pickle by meddling ofticiously itt affairs that didn't concern me, "Look here, Miss Adriance, said I ; "1 will tell you all about it." So I did. I described oldBullion'sletter, my own false deductions therefrom, and the rash deed I had committed in sending the banker's correspoudence to Charley Dresden. "And ;now," add 1, "do you wonder that he is indignant?' Sophy's faoe grew radiant. But there's no harm done," said she. " No reel harm, I mean. Because I've written him at long letter about mamma and Mr. Bullion, which he must have i eceived the next mail after be sent off this cruel, cruel sheet of reproaches. And pray, Mr. Mortimore, don't look so woebegone," she said kindly. "Your mistake was, natural enough." * * Sophy was a true prophet. There was no " real harm" done. The next mail brought a letter full of entreaties to be pardoned, and a brief, brusque note to me, which told me, not exactly la so many words, but in spirit, that I bad a great deal better have minded my own business. What I really think I had. —Boston Globe Duchess of Marlborough's Dress. The Duchess of Marlborough is rivalling her husband's aneestress, the famous "Sarah,' in her taste for magnificence of costume. Her latest acquisition in the way of dress, soya the Queen, has been built by Worth, and is ox dark steelgrey peen de sole, trimmed with old -silver paseementerie cords in festoons, with pendent balls. The waistcoat, and slash- ing.) in the sleeves and skirt are on pale yellow satin, making the combination of grey and yellow now so fashionable. A deep fall of cream lace and a moire ribbon trim the front of the bodice. The back of this gown is continuous ia princeese breadths, while the corsege is a coat with Directoire revers opening on at vest of yellow satin. Squares on the sides elongate the coat, and suggest pocket flaps. The skirt front is relieved from the pre- vailing plainness by being slashed down the middle to disclose what appears to bo an inner skirt of satin. This pion gives ample width below the hips'yet retains the popu- lar etraight linos, andis preferred to drapery by Loge women who cermet wear very close clinging skirts. Black 13engaline and black grenadine dresses, and othera of colored orepons, will be made by this model, with eleshings of white moire, or of pale gray, green, or turquoise satin. The slashed sleeves are in admirable keeping with the ekiri. The three-cornored eat is of black straw, trimmed with bleck feathers and an old paste buckle. Didn't see the Potett. They were discussing families, and one was up in which there were several girls. " Where is Allio " asked the lady who had been finny for some years. " She's teaching echool." " And Kate ? ' " She's dead." " And Frances'?" " She's in a store." " Let's Hee, there was a Jennie and He riet, too, wasat there ?" " Jennie Was the brightest one of the lot, waen't she ? " " Oh, no,"—in all seriousnees—" that wae Harriett, Jennie got married." Anti not one of the halfelozen women ;taking seemed to think there was anything unny in it when a meal over in the corner gh The Market for Jollies. Public Opinion, which has been investi- gating the joke business; says that a good original joke which ie easily illustrated binge as high as $5. The magazines and papers which pay for their jokes have regular prizes. Professional jokers send a supply of from.10 to 50 jokes to the papers paying best toad the editor in charge of that department chooses those which suit him end sends back the rest. These are then sent to the next besapitying publication, end so on until they reach the paper's which pay but 50 ante. Such as are then re- turned the jeker (embitters useless. A pro- fessional joker can make about 100. jokee week, and, as joke -making niust soon be• Nemo a habit, pethape the brain is not too greatly tasked in, their manufacture. Tecumseh's Tornaliawb-. • A tomahawk, said to have belonged to the famous Indian chief Tecumseh, is now in possession of Mra. Lizzie Skinner, of WEalt Point, Ky. At the battle of the Thames, xiorth of Lttke Erie, in Ontario, in which the warrior vitae slain, at New York soldier, named John Hanes, despoiled the Men redskin, anti subsequently gave the weapon to John R. Bramblue, who died last December. It then passed into the hands of Mrs. Skinner in comphence with the wish of ite last owner. The hatchet is said to be half &est, hell Indian in its shape. Doubtreare evidently entertained as to its genuineness by sone; of the Western editors who tell the story .—Detroit Free Press. The Babies of One Year. It is estimated that about 40,000,000 birthe take plaits in the world every year. Supposing thet these children could all be carried past a given point at the rate of twelve a minute,. day and night without ceasing, the one whoa+ turn earn° last would be inore than 6 years of age bsforo Impaseed the person keeping count. At Narragansett Pier. Maud—How delightful the world would be if there wereito mac in it latargy— Yes ; ib woula be jug like mie great kite vial, to lb:, Eel -whore. ettentened not. A. eitizet of Cork, being asked ono morn- ing hoW "he came by that black eye," anewered that he slept oxi his fist. --- • She—Are you sure you didn't lose that letter I Ova yeti to tuiul lasit Week I Ile— 'les . I knew you'd think so, and I've kept, it in my pocket to protect myself. Rotene de 13etit—I eaw a reniarkeble sign in a wireless,' When I Wee hi Fiance. Stay. Ott lioltnee-What Was ? ROVV2a,.do Bout -w" A:Watteau French *Olken bo W. NEW HEUO MYSTENts Peat Thomson Invade a achane That WIR BeVolutionize TelephonY. A new and ingeoious eystem of telephony hes• been invented by Professor Elihu Thomson, the well-known electrician, who has made fame and fortune with his inven- tions in heavy electrical machinery, AEI all telephone subscribers will testify, the aunentnate and inconveniences that mark the present system are largely owing to trouble with the battery or the disastrous " grounde," while the complicated and often embarrassing method of connecting anti disconnecting with the exchange re- quires a Napoleonic power of concentraGlon of the attention. Professor Thomson's aystem does away with all these imper- fections, replacing complexity and irregu. larity with aitniplicity and a moat gratify- ing steadiness of notion. The Thomson system employs, instead of a continuous battery current, an alternating current, with a slow rate of alternation, so as not to interfere with epeeoh. The rate preferred is about 32 vibrations per second, just sufficient to produce a low hum, which does not weaken the force of the sound waves, but will always serve to ehow the condition of the line. If a subscriber fails to hear this characteristic noise he will know at once that he has been "cub off." As all the local batteries are done away with, the system is practically a closed Meath system. Therefore connection with the exchange is niade simply by lifting tho receiver from the hook. This aot causes an annunciator to drop at the exchange, which ehows that a subscriber desires to communicate with it. The exchange answers the eall_by "plugging in " the telephone at the exchange, tieing an instrumennsimi- Lir to that in the subscriber's office. After the proper connections have been made, and it is desired to discontinue the connection, all that is necessary to do is to hang the phone upon the hook again. Instead of having the lines actually grounded, as at present, by metallic circuits connected to earth, Professor Thomson's system provides that earth connection be made through a condeuser. By the em- ployment of this simple expedient the main line rernaine practically insulated while at the same time it is yet capable of trana- mitting the waves of sound. This isregarded as au exceedingly important and valuable feature. Thus it will be seen that by the new system the subscriber's apparatus becomes practically a fixture that requires no atten- tion, while the current which is at the command of one man's telephone has the same energy as that of any other subscriber's line. In this way it is claimed that a greater economy of operation is obtained, while a more satisfactory service results. To the telephone expeet no recent invention has so metier ingenious and intereating fea- tures, and the new system is, it is said, the forerunner of marked improvements in tele- photo/. lin the Ben Business. " I quit the road a year ago to go into the hen bueiness," said Calvin Wharton to it group of fellow knights of the grip who were swapping snake stories in the Lindell corridors. "1 had been reading in the papere how a man made $500 in Me year from fifty hens. I sized up my pile, eon - Butted the hen /market, and found that I could purchase 1,000 hens and provide them with accommodations. • Now, if fifty hens will net $500, a thousand of the feathered bipeds should be good for $10,000 a year. That's the way I figured it, and my hopes were 'way up in G. I leased five acres of ground in the suburbs of Cincinnati for a hen farm, hired. a negro assistant, and Bawled in to realize an independent fortune. But the bonanza failed to pan out jaw, as I had expected. When eggs were a drug at 6 cents every hen on the place rose early and worked late. I sin not sure about it, but am inclined to think they laid about three times a dayeeteWhen the holidays came orr, and eggs went...booming up to 60 cents, every measly hen went on a strikelamy simply stood around and clacked and con. Burned grain that they had not earned. By hard hustling and vigorous expostulation with hens that would set when eggs were 'way up and would not set when eggs were "war down, I had accumulated a couple of hundred youug chickens. When they reached frying size the rats took half of them, the negroes got the rest, and the old ones died of the pip, leaving as the fag end of rey model hen farm a choice collection of china, nest eggs and ono old Shanghai rooster that had both eyes knocked out in n litile unpleeea,utnews with a brother Mor- mon. Then I filed my hopes away, anathe- matized the theoretical idiots who point the way to commercial preferment through the poulery yard, and began to hustle for a job." —St. Louis Globe•Deniocrat. English Meadows Hew ana when men first learned to make bay will probebly never be known, for hay:- 111)144qt ie a " process," and the product is net eimply sun-dried grass which has been porde merited, but is ae much the work uf alea'e hands as flour or cider. Probably ite dieuovery was clue to accident, but pore !ably men learned it from the pikes, the "cal ling. hares" of the steppes, which cut anti stack hey for the winter. That idea woulst fit it nicely with the theory that, Central Asia was the "home of the Aryan race," if we were still allowed to believe it, and • haymaking is certainly an art mainly practised in cold countriee for winter forage. Probably there are no meadows in the world so good as those in England, or so old. Yet from the early Anglo-Saxon times old meadow has been distinguished from "pastures," and has always been scarce. Two•thirds of what is now established meadow land still shows the marks of ridge and furrow ; and from the great time re- quired to make a meadow—ten years at least on the best land, a hundred on the woret—men have always been reluctant to break• up old pasture. The ancient meadowee with thew great trees and close, rich turf, are the solo portion of the earth's surface which modern agriculture respects and leaves in peace. Hence the excellence of the meadowof &gland and the envy of the American, —London Speetcaor. Important Nautical Discovery. Little Gertie—Oh, papa, I've just found out what ms,kes the yachte go up s.nd down SO. • Pepe— Whet is it, my child? Little Gertie--It's that horrid man at the wheel, pa; he keeps etirrizig it up behind with a long polio—KO/9's Jester. t t,11,1 oxo mills I it the beerti," weld the tesorter of the oleositt pavane, what doom the X represent? 1,utsy Forbes may answer." " It represents a—a • pair of auspenders," ',awarded the frightened little girl, regarding it intehtly. "A, 1 hold it band of &Monde." he re - market, gaeaug at her liege. "Yes," she m w aere& tasbut you want to look oue—the men :lett holda the hearts has A club, too." Thei e is a woman in Bonlietra Ten" who does a good btieinetel in sewing buttons on ertee's wearing appetel, doing tho wofk en the atteetts. HOW WE AIIIIBETTATE, All Clatisee of People Possessed of the Craze. And this in a oountry that claims to speak the English language I I might es well have been in the village of Hooper,- ignio in Southern Africa watching the native tribe of Bigenoperas playing a game called Obsecutietious. I fled for the race track, only to find a worse conglomeration of p. 13" ch. g., b. o., br. g., b. g„ ch. fo c. g., oh. m. And I had paid my hard silver for thia ! Thio abbreviation oraze is spreading everywhere. You will find it on the stage where the actors talk of the 0. P. side aud the L: L. and the first L. E. and the second L. E. and the L. 0. M. Look at the American societies. Can any- body name them? No, not by the English language. They aro the I. O. 0. F., the G. A. R.'the W. 0, T. U., K. of L., and the G. 0. P., K. of P, and C. M. B. A. and a thousand others. Go into a ealoon and you will hear somebody order an Al S. and B. Lend a man a dollar and he will give you his I. O. U. Next month Sullivan and Corbett will enter the P. R. at New Orleans and fight Q. R. The printer talks intelli- gently about Bp, tf. lc. The same day I went to the baseball game. I dropped into a big establishment on State street. A woman was trying on a bonn,,net. oe8 it fit she asked. "To a T," came the answer. " Do I look well in it ?" " Away up in. G." "How much will it cost?" " A V." " DI take it; send it up to the house C. O. Lk" " Certainly." " That arrangement is satisfactory to you the"i,ny?es ; all 0. K." '1 grasped the nearest pillar and panted for breath. That night as I was going home it patrol waggon carried it man away as I passed.' Who is it ?'' I asked of &policeman who is a friend of mine. "Oh, it's R— , a prominent M. D. He's got the D. T. Remember this is on the Q. T. "Great heavens man !" I cried, "how do you manage to talk so ?" " How—talk so 1" "Why, with your D. T's. and Q. T's." "Oh," said my policeman, smiling, " it is as simple as A. B. C."—Chicago inter - Ocean. APPLICATIONS THOROUGHLY, REMOVES ,e• • DANDRUFF Dotal Care for Loolks, An optimistic ago would pronounce be r hair golden, but there was a mole on her neck which carried three hairs and as ehe stood in careless grace before her min•ot, with Lb sea -green dress half revealing the idiosyncrasies of her figure the most charitable judgment would Lot call her pretty. "1 don't care for looks." An expression ot deep content permeated her countenance a3 she reached for the pig- ment, and with deft stroke eupplied a rich red color for her lips and cheeks. "Looks are superficial." With a touch of the nevelt she darkened the lids of her eyes, and all over spread a snowy powder, which lent to her face the delicacy of texture of satin fabric. "Beauty Li ephemeral.", With aetonisning dexterity she fastened to various portions of her anatomy divers mechanical deviees obviously constructed to supplement the aohievements of a forgetful nature. " Outwaxd charms fade as melts the morning mist before the sun." Through the agency of a fine pair of tweezers she removed her mustache. "1 don't care for looks." Heating an iron to a cherry red, she berned the top off the wart on the back of her hand. "1 have no time to be handsome." Before she finished dressing, she drank a lot of arsenic for her complexion, and caused her maid to pound her for two hours to induce plumpness. —Detroit Tribune. A. Plea for Onions. It seems a shame that a vegetable so healthful as onions should be so generally disliked. Any physician will tell you that a dish of onions will be a ,vholesome addi- tion to the vegetable diet, will be beneficial to the nerves, and will often help to ward off diseases. When a liking for them is not, natural, it should certainly be acquired ; the most dieagreeable feature about them, to those who are not fond of them, is the odor; and one should be very careful ni prepariog the dish, to have this noticed as little as possible. By holding the hands and knife under vveter while cleansing them, you will avoid the unpleasantness in eyes and nos. trils. After peeling them, sae that the knife is thoroughly scoured and washed, or you may use the same knife in preparing some other dish, and spoil some choice morsel with he unpleasant flavor. Before they are cooked they may be soaked for a little while in rale water, to help remove the strong odor, and while they are cooking, place in the pot a piece of bread the size of an egg, or larger, tied itt a linen bag. This may also be used for cabbage, or any other vegetable whose penetrating odors cause us Ito hesitate when we think of them as a plea.sent addition to the bill of fare. ,s, Professional Secret. Seaside Visitor—" I have noticed that drowning bathers cease crying out, and be- come perfectly calm as soon as yon reach them ; I suppose they are reassured by youc brave and noble words ot encourage- •ment ?" Life Saver—" No, Mum—it's because I always hit tbetn a thump in the neck to make em keep quiet." EMPEROR WILLIAM breathes more freely and his wife is happy. Tho birth of a princess to the House of Hohenzollerh has relieved them of an anxiety caused by an alleged prophecy that the empire would go down under a monarch who would have seven amain succeasion. They had already six sons. The Emperor was born Jan. 2711.1., 1850; the Emprese, Oct. 22nd, 1858. They were married in Berlin Feb. 27th, 1881. The children of tho Imperial pair are: Prince William, born at Potsdam, May 6th, 1882. Prince Eitel Frederick born at Poteclam, July 7th, I 883, Prince Adalbert, born at Potsdam, July 14th, 1884. Prince August William, born atPotsdarn, Jan. 261h, 1887. Prllice Oscar, born at Potsdam, July 276, 1888, Prince Joachim, born at Berlin, Deo. 171h, 1890. Princess --, born at Potsdam, Sept. 13th, 1802. The moat powerful searchlight in the woeld will soot shine from the torch of the Soddeis of Liberty in New York harbor. It will be 50,003 candle, and will be visible 100 miles away. The British mint e0iDEI 25 tons of pareiee eery year. 73. L. CAVEN. zaroatl. 4.2mALNI16. 4511-14 eat aterlareiti4ralive== se ye deeding a few rarliaatiatra net mama GUARANTEED t;Tizacitza..4=4..OibasitLGlStlOeUl Restores Paling hair to I original colon o Stops falling of hallo Keeps; the Scalp eleall, Makes hair son and Pliable • Promotes Croatia. '• • TELE SUN DOING 011T, In About Ten Million Years 'Macre win be No Light. It seems that the sun has already dial- pated about four-fifths of the energy with which it may have originally been endowed, mays an exchange. At all events it seems that, radiating energy at its preseot rate, the sun may possibly hold out for four mil- lion years pr five million years, but not ten million years. Here, then, we discern in the remote future a limit to the duration of life on this globe. It does not seem possible for any other source of heat to be available for replenishing the waning stores of the luminary. It may be that the heat was originally imparted to the sun as the remit ef a great collieion between two bodice e tech welt) both dark before the oolliaion took place, so that, in feet, the two clerk masses coalesced into a vast nebula, from which the whole of our syetona bas been evolved. Of course it is always cono.,ivable that the hula may be toinvigorated I y a repetition of the same startling proceett. It is, however, hardly necessary to observe that so terrible a convulsion would be fatal to life in the solar system. Neither from the heavens above nor front the earth beneath dors it seem possible to discover any rescue for the human race from the inevitable end. The race is as mortal as the individual, and, so far as we know, its span cannot under any circumstances be run out beyond a certain number of million of years, which can certainly be told on the fingers of both hands, and probably on the fingers of one. The Emergency Dress. A germent bas been made to put on by the woman who is routed out of bed by an alarm of fire. Every one will admit it fills a long -felt want. The possibilities of the dress put the fire eseepe in the shade. It is aptly termed the Emergency Dress. Non-combustible as- bestos cloth is the material of which it is composed, and in its design It resembles diver's costume. The garment is in one piece, and thus enables a woman to easily getinto it as soon as the alarm of fire sounds, unless the does, as she undoubtedly will do, something entirely different. One woman who had this dress at the head of her bed was aroused one cold winter's night by the cry of fire. Jumping from her bed she brushedby her non- combustible garment and flew to a closet at the other end of the room, She quickly got into the skirt of au evening gown of chiffon, threw a lace cape over her shoulders, put her feet into a pair of euede slippers and rushed from the room, leaving her asbestos costume to illustrate the practicability of the idea. She Trusts in Jack. How a girl does trust her particular "Jack !" He may be a very poor stick, but you never make her believe it. She will turn her back on the kindest and best mother if that mother hints a word against him. She won't speak to her father for a week if he questions the prospects of his coming son-in-law. Her best friend is ignored if she whispers at few words of "Jack's " sins. In short, there isn't any one in the wide world who can compare with poor, dear, sweet, slandered Jack. Oh, yes, she finds out better in time! Dints for Marketers. When buying meat it is well to remember thet beef contains the most nutriment to the pound of any meat. The expensive cuts are no more nutritious than the cheaper ont 0, and a pound of boiling meat at 8 cents answers as well the purpose of nutrition as a porterhouse at 18, and when pi openly prepared will be relished as much by the growing members of the family. Chicken, veal and Iamb are luxuries which were better avoided, unless your cbildren are well shod and you do not live up to every oent of your income. Fish is cheap and an agreeable change, but it should be like eggs and lard—above suspicion. Be Bad Sot Forgotten. "1 thought you ssad God never forgot to do anything," said, Bertha. "1 did say so," replied Daisy, and it is the truth." "Butt Ho has forgotten to light His lamps to -night," said Bertha. "Oh, darling, it's a cloudy night and you can't see God's stars ; but they are all lighted juet the same." Ton London Lancet, in an article on the effects of cyoling on the health, says: Lookers-on say thero is marvellous precision in riding in the crowded streets. They may well marvel; but in this regard success itself in meetingand evading obstacles does not mean winning; it means wear and tear of the constitution beyond anything that Call be accredited when it is carefully observed. We have ourselves ridden under these trials, and we know the effects. During the feat the most active of the senses are' strained to the utinciit; the ear is strained to catch every voice and sound; the eye is strained to meet every danger as well as to avoid being a cause of danger to others; the sense of touch is equally strained; the mind and the body aro at full strain, and the muscular strength at its highest mark. So long ns the tissues aro young and elastic this feat is for g time possible, but itt is doomed oven in the young to early failure and it inakes the young prema- turely old. To the middlo-aged, nay to those who are but just matured, the feat is danger- ous, thougha collision may never take place. There is the internal andexternal strain t• there is the after lassitude from what Dr. Colb has ably described as" the nervons instillcioney " of fatigue; and there is the after waste of the nervous fever which follows the effort. 'Under these strains it is little wonder that riders the whilst riding without actual collision ; little wonder that the papers should report how a well known cielist was found dead by the road- side with his machine bead° him. Framed itt a manner not calculated to bear those strains, though they be less severe than riding daily through a London thoroughterc, this gentle - can, from nervous insufficiency, failed and succumbed under an exercise the too enthu- siastic partisans of which say we haire no right to criticise, albeit it is fatal 10 their best Of etnnrades, it is said that thc Chrietian Endeavor Constitution has now been traeslated into all the important laiiguages of the world, here is a Moiety m Samoa and another among the &duet c " Where's that blamed old flag you hang out to show there's going to be dry Weather ?" demanded the signal °feat of his assistant. We put it up the Other d replied the assistant prophet, "lititi itt tin storm dame and washed it away." This girls are ado') iagpajanuld foi night Wane butit talies a long while for them to earn not It put them on over tho.head. CARTER'S ITTLE IVER PILLS. Sick Headache and rel eve all the troubles hid. dent to a bilious state of the system, such ak Dizziness, Nausea. Drowsiness, Distress after eating, Pain in the Side, i1e, 'While their rnos4 remarkable success has been shown in curing Headache, yet CARTER'S Liorras Zwea Puss are equally valuable in Constipation, curing a: al preventing this annoying complaint, while they also correct all disorders of the stomach, stimulate the liver and regulate the bowels. Even if they only cured Ache they would be almost pi•celess to those who suffer f om this distressing complaint; but fortunately their goodness does .not end here, and those who once try them will ilia these little pillsvaluable in so many ways that they will not be willing to do without them. But after all sick head is the bane of so many lives that here is where we make our great boast. Our pills cure it while others do not. CARTER'S LITTLE "gym Pius arevery small and very easy to take. One or two pills make a dose. They are strictly vegetable and do not gripe or purge, but by their gentle action please all who use them. In vials at 25 cents; five for 51. Sold everywhere, or sent by mail. CARTES MEDICINE 00., raw Tole 1211 PE Small Dose. Small Pr.lco, The Shark and the Buoy. " I think," said the Shark, as he sharpened his tooth, " Teat whistling Buoy doth whistle too m uch. The tune that he whistles is very uncouth,. Anil. might have been writ byaman in Duluth. Whose knowledge of music is heavy and Dutch. "And I have resolved that this nuisance must end; The whistling Buoy must whietle no more. His proud iron will to our wishes must bend— His manners disgusting r11 force him to mend. I'll bite him in two—nay, T11 bite him in four 1" The Shark then swam out to where the big Buoy stood, To chew him all up and make him behave. He opened his mouth just as wide as he could, He snapped at the Buoy, as he said that eNaVeloi.kuldo,ut f swab 'neath the rippling Thensank Poor Shark 1 All his teeth—every one—good or bad— Broke off as they struck on that Buoyso red. The Buoy went on with his whistling sad; The Shark never spoke, for the voice that he had Could utter no word now his molars were sped, And ssthraapngede,to relate, now his mouth's so mis- No sound can he utter except a small hoot. Which, when from his throat it has fully es- caped, And over his palate and tongue it has scraped, Is just like the Buoy's sad tootling toot. The ProppexiStitch. Grandmother Eat in her easy chair, Knitting a little girl's stocking; And she didn't know that she dropped a stitch While she sat there knitting and rocking. But by and by, when the stocking was worn,i There appeared a great hole in the knee of t, Which grew, till tho little girl found to her shame The hole was all the people could see of it. A little girl went to school one time, But to study she didn't feel willing; So she sat and played without thinking then Of how much time she was killing. But when she at last to womanhood grew, She found too late, to her sorrow, That the lessons unlearned were the stitches she'd dropped And no mending time could she borrow. So nowlittle friends, you'd better take heed And improve every hour with its niches, For life is too short for you to make up For any lost time or dropped stitches. • The Thrice Winners. A dog and a shark and a 'bird had a race, And which of them, think you, won ? The bird spread his wings with an air of a -race, A.ncl sailed upward toward the sun. While the shark dived down at an awful pace, And the dog went on a run. When the bird got up to the bright blue Sky, And the dog had reached the hill, While the shark was down where the sea- shells lie, And the mighty waves are still, Eaqh said to himself, " Goodness,graciouS, I Am winner, say what you will.' Adding fa salt to Injury. His nose had always "worried him, It was so very red. When noses were a topic he. Would shyly drop his head. Yet every scratch orblow or bruise, Through fate's satanic freak, That bronght affliction to his youth Would land upon his beak. One day, on looking in his glass, He felt his soul recoil ; For to his great disgust he found A well-developed boil. And on that portion of his face That one would least suppose— It bloomed out gorgeously upon The tip end of his nose. aimeraeo.,e,eiwataieemeavei~nerammuearruatepares . . SHILOWW: .,CONSUIPTIO ..JOURE, This GREAT COUGH CURE, this sac. ccsful CONSUTITPTION CURE, is without a parallel in the history of medicine. All druggists are authorized to tell it oh it pos. hive guarantee, a test that no other cure can successfully stand. If you have a Cough) Sore Throat, or Bronchitis, use it, for it will cute you, If your child has the Croup, or Whooping Cough, use it promptly, and eeliea is sure. If you dread that insidious diseaie CONSUMPTION, doh't fail to use it, it will euro you or cost nothing) Ask your Dtwg. gist for stnLows CURE, Price IO cis., eo cts. Ana $x.00. ']'312ANS. 1,71rVrOrtir4111:$ 4ro itt norT catt. domes, th4E bate the Vera &IEEE St Nervous Debility, Lest Vigor and Feigns Ilenheed; restores the ivetilmoss OE body or Mbidoeused ,rttercd,r1tilitttt ti?16R6,FAV%13(.(° RC* mai, • 414aatu easel; iviieti all other hasp loliso i ty bi rolh5it Sla ' •••,•I 1- 4•;: or rept' hv intik on ' • , • .• JAMBS . ,