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The Exeter Advocate, 1892-9-22, Page 2LAUGH AND LEARN. A Delsartean Plea. Dear M. Doleartol , Since you've tatigittue tnekart Muse replace Mother ai Allure's inmuctions Asad teaoli ne anew What we really shoulel do With our varioue physieel funotions ; We be you will aed 'ro the Lesous we've had About walking ari4 breathing and, poeinla Other hints that will make All ot don ge partake Of a grace more perfection disclosing. We'd be taught, if you please, Row to gracefully sneeee. How to snore iu symmetrical manner, Hew to get out of bed) IIow to drop whoa we tread. On the cuticle of a banana; tic w to smell. how to wink, How to chew, how to drink, How sublimely to shako an ash -sifter; How to step on a taok, How to get in a hack,. How to toy with a heated stovezafter 1 How to hiccough with ease) How to groan. how to wheeze, How to spank a night -brawling relation.; In short, how to mend The mistakes that our friend Dame Nature mixed in our creation. The hest women are those who are least talked about. A fire -engine trust is the lateat thing in combiin•s. It should be put out. trhe West Point Gia—How eolenin those cannon look. The Cadet—.Yea; they've been discharged, you know, "A Turkish bath is not unplea.sant: but Ido dread the massage part of it." "Ah That's where the rub comes." The melancholy days have come, the sad- dest of the year, when sparrows for reedies masquerade, and there'e flatness in the beer. Magistrate—Were you intoxicated when you committed the assault? Prisoner—I muat have been, Your Worship, for tiother fellow's twiee nay size. Callowe (just rejected)—I auppose you won't care to have me cell here any more ? Prunella—Yes, I shall. I shall want to see how miserable you are. Instead of sending drunken men to jail Wilkesbarre's Mayor sentences them to hear a sermon preached in church. It must be flattering to the officiating clergyman. A young lady has her sign out, up among the lawyers' offices in Pemberton Spare, as a " Typewritist." The word begins its existence under good Boston auspwea.— Boston Transcript. 'tints been announced that Robert Louis Stevenson will have ready for publication next winter a, novel, that was contracted for five years ago. It is to be a sequel to "Kidnapped." Pastor—Is it a fact that you throw your boots at your wife, and that she pounds you with the broomstick? Husband—.Yea; but sometimes we change about, and I pound her with the broom -handle, and she bounces the boota on me. It is not longer considered stylish to wear a tight glove, or even one that fits the hand. The glove of the moment should be amply large. Black, cream and fioelle Breathe accepted shades. Tan color is wan- ing in popularity. "They say that a,great many little boys hook green apples, said Johnny's uncle. «1 hope you do not engage in such things." "No, znd.eed," replied Johnny. "A11 us boys has made a bargain that we'll wait and give the apples a chance to get ripe," Briggs—That was a marvellous escape of Miss Neatfoot from the top floor of a burn- ing hotel ab Barker's Reef, wean% it? Griggs—Why, how did she get out? Briggs —She tied all her neckties together and reached the ground without any trouble. A country newspaper correspondent in Maine recently sent this cheerful bit of news to his paper : "Brooks is at last provided with a nice hearse and our citizens can now be conveyed to their graves in decent shape. This is something that has long been needed here." "There goes Miss Milo," said Mrs. Bright to Mrs. Newrich ; "she has a beautiful form, hasn't k,he 1" '• 6he has that." " Thay say she is an ardent toxo- philite, and that may account for her grace." " Toxophilite 1" exclaimed Mrs. Nesyrieh, "1 was told yesterday she was A Presbyterian." Mrs. Velox—The landlord was here to-. cle,y for his rent. Mr. Velox—Well ? Mrs., Velox—Well, I paid him the money showed him the baby, Mr. Velox, .W.12 rather weary of the fuss made infant—Bah Why didn't you e baby and show hiin the'Linii en have no sense, Of wimn nquestionably, An gonmai.,. I,' rays the Rocheste. ' COM the per- fumed miess di. it is indecor- ous for a pima' kiss the young man to whomah8le1gage1. What advice did the Tivneeffiie „ e Time, in the most evasive matinee possible, said: "If the young man has any salibre at all he will take as many as he can get and ask for more. But is it indecorous for the young lady to kiss the young man ?" The use oflarge words offends the Albany Sunday Press. That paper says: "The use of large words, while sometimes indi- cating an extensive vocabulary, generally marks the production of a prig, and such, we are sorry to say, seems to be a large percentage of the product of our colleges. The tendency should be checked, and by the most effective measures." The Press is advised without extemporaneous descantings and unpremeditated expatiations, to fulmi- nate a quarantine upon large words imme- diately. A summEn ruActunv. Reigning belle, Big hotel, summer day, chappie gay, Sweet mustache, Mutual mash, Sunny hours, 'Mid she flowers; Autumn's come, ChappIe s glum; Reigning belle Wave farewell. All a joke— Chappie broke! "Have you noticed," said a gilded youth in Hyde Park, "how much teller the girls have been them last few SCAB011e than for- rner137 ?" The remark was just, and though it did not seem to strike the critio, the reason for the change is obvioua enough. These tall girls, with their graceial Sores and free movements, have had an education in gymnitetios which hes developed them to a point of physical perfectioh of which their mothers never dreamed, says the Hospital. A recent critic complained that little women had "gone out" in fiction, and perhaps thie has happened because to a great extent the little woman has gone out in real life. So much the better, for though in Aeries god perhaps in courting days there is something fascinating in the heroitie's bird -like flatterings in her nest- ling timidity in the hero's praeoting arras, or :standing on tiptoe to fasten a flower iri hie buttonhole the charming fairy was apt, if you only knew it, to become an invalid in maturer years, end spend half her time upon the eofee The lady Who reclinee on a soia las alto vanished fawn fiction, at least ae an intereeting and attractive oharecter, i ladies bidding good-bye while the street car Multi°. Health is in fashion --in the park "Much Adieu About Nothing "—Two waits. and to die of oonsumption s no longer ro and eleewhere. You may lead a horse to weber, but you can't make him drink anytbing but water i he has hone setae. The honeymoon has waned when the bride stops telling things and begins to ask ques- tions—altehison Globe. Cobble—Hello, there pee 4 newly -mar. ried couple over there. Stone—What makes you think so ? Cobble—He is carry- ing her parasol. First mosquito—You seem to be thriving this treason. Second ditto—Yes; I drink nothing but arterial blood. lt is purer and more nourishiug. When member:: of the Carpenters' Union iii San Franc:loco are on strike they put in their time building houses for one another. San Franoieco's climate is worth looking into, after all. There is a time in every young man's life he thinks when for a while inks he is a second Solomon. He soon gets over it, though, when he begins to find out how many kinds of a fool he is. • the two corners of the to eheeb at the head of the bed. For each Icltot take a piece of cord and double it. I'leee the end where the loop is around the !sheet doe below the knot, and fasten by :dipping the two loose ends of the etring through the loop and Milling them tightly in a !slip - t noes°. When the children are put to bed, the nurse must draw eaoh corner of the sheet down closet() the Bides of the mattress, and tie the two loose ends of each etring around the spoke) of the child's bed, or, it the ohildren sleep in a large bog, tho striugs can be tied around the side -pieces of the bedstead. The present proprietor of Gad's Hill, a retired 'Indian Judge, has received a tempt- ing offer from the executive of the Chicago Exhibition for the purchase of Dieltens' favorite residence. Willie — 1 didn't see anything funny last night about that fellow's mous- WIN. Mrs. MoBean—What are you talk- ing about? "I heard sister tell him that it tickled her half to death." Mrs. Kate Pier, Court Commissioner of Milwaukee, married Jacob Yondall and Adelpena Kamm, of Chicago, a few days ago, They were the first couple to be married by a woman in Milwaukee. Hal—This is a rather startling notice on the top of my laundry bill. Burt—Read it. Hal—" The proprietors of this laundry are not responsible for the disappearance of flannel shirts sent in to be washed." Bad breath or offensive briath may be removed by taking a teaspoonful of the fon lowing mixture after each meal: One ounoe liquor of potassa, one ounce chloride of soda, one and a half ounces phosphate of soda and three ounces of water. When Dr. Newman Hall retired from his pulpit the other day he preached his last sermon from the text, "God so loved the world." This he told his congregation, was the first text he ever leaxned, and should now be the last text of their pastor. "One question more," said Van Sleeck, after selecting an engagement ring. Well, sir ?" replied the jeweller. "If this engage- ment should result in marriage, I suppose I could have this stone taken out and a genuine diamond of the same size put in." Hunker -1 don't believe girls ever offer to be sisters to fellows when they refuse them, as the comio papers intimate. Spatts—I don't either. In my cam they either head me off before I get to the pro- posal or else tell me frankly they can't marry me. "You are charged with running along the sidewalk at a rapid rate and knocking peo- ple down," said the police justice. "Well, I have a right to, haven't I?" saucily answered the prisoner. "No, sir, you have not. If you want to do that sort of thing you must own a bicycle." The janitor—Hey 1 Git down into the house as quick as you can 1 Mrs. Washing- ton (on the roof)—What is the matter? The janitor—There's a mad dog on the street? Mrs. Washington—But it can't get at me up here, can it ? The janitor—No, but the policeman is getting ready to shoot at it. Mrs. Gt eenleaf—Look here, Amanda, I wrote to Mr. Stubbs, the man Dick works' for in New York, and asked him how Dible was getting along, and where hea nights. Amanda—What did-)ief' " Why, he says that Dick is 4110 that he Bleeps in the store but he doesn't know Wherer , nights." It is dtchled aleead is to be with ,tis fluffier than eteire,' or more gerieriellgi back • belle* 'Idirete'‘ of,a eps "e ;feather boa &Vie fuller and Os nothing prettier mg, the only &w- en charming adjuncts costume are awfully ex - :standing the abundance of tnes on LongIsland and the seems of California. haningham, England, is to have a new cirm of fire alarm'consisting of a long wooden case, 14 feethigh, 1 feet broad and 13 inct.es deep. By breaking a email pane of glass you get a policeman's whistle and a key to unlock the dour, while at the same time an alarm is rung at the fire headquar- ters. Inside the box is a telephene, a box of ambulance materials, an extension ladder and a hand pump. This is one of the newest stories showing how sensitive Her Majesty is in regard to any direct remark whioh draws attention th the impotency of the British Sovereign's power. The Queen ie said to have remarked to a certain member of the court that she wondered what appointments Mr. Gladstone would make for her household. "Oh !" answered the lady,"I suypose they will make several new Peers." They ?" replied the Queen, with emphasis. At a recent meeting of Noncomformist membera of Parliament in London, called to discuss the question of church disestab- Raiment, Mr. R. W. Perks, a Welsh M. P., pointed out as an evidence of the political advance made in Methodist circles, that of thirty-six Methodist candidates at the recent election, not one was a Tory. Methodism, especially in the villages, thanks to their 40,000 lay preachers was, he said, solid for Liberalism. The thoughtful housekeeper will not for- get the consideration due to her servant during such extreme weather as has been undergone lately. Even with every care the kitchen is an almost intolerable place, with the average temperature of the day among the nineties; any woman who does not realize this has only th walk from her cool, darkened sitting -room to the cook's domain to be glad to hurry away. The meals should be planned to demand as little heat as possible, and an arrangement ought to be made th give the Gook an hour or two out of the kitchen in some cool spot during the day. It is not generally known that placing certain herbs in a roomwill brutish flies &Om it. Sweet clover, for hugeness' which hi not difficult to obtain, as itis found thriving luxuriantly on almost every country roadside, will put flies to Md. The ineeet, pungent odsr it exhales is quite unobjectionable, but is still abhorred by flies. A cluster of the tassel -like bloom of this plant placed as a bouquet will more effeetu- ally rid a room of thee than a multiplier+, tion of fly -traps: Indeed, it 18 doubtful whether any trap containing molaeses or Begat fulfile the end Am which ib is in- tended, as 11 is likely to draw more flies than ib kills, and withal is anything but an attractive object to have about, An ingeniours contrivance Wee' described in Babyhood for keeping the bedelothes on restless children, :Pie a knot in each of The Sportsman's Mouth. .And now, with the first faint turning o the leaf, begin the sporteman'a lawful day of honed pleasure. The lazy air of 8111X11110 freshens with the first hint of burly, bray old auturnes advent, and fur and teethe feel the magic of a month with an " r " in it, and show new gloss and perfection Now is the time for drat long jaunts afield for bracing nerve and flabby muscle for th work of the opened season, for running superfluous beef off lately neglected dogs, and truing their mapters' hands and eyes to their old-time un erring skill. Some shoot in August, despite sweltering heat and all attendant discomforts, but your true Nimrod wants not of such unfair :mart, even in territory where the law allows it. No bird is prime in August, and no good Sir Knight) of the tapered tubes will care one rap for murder- ing immature birds, or old ones just recov- ering from the exhaustion of shedding an old garb of feathers and growing a new one. But with September conditions alter. The flapper of two weeks agone is growing strong of wing; the ragged -looking ruffed grouse, a dilapidated skulker in berry patches, now sporte a bonny new garb and :Tangs with roaring pinions in hie favorite thicket, and snipe, cock and shore birds are plump, well feathered and fib to lie in peace within the yawning pockets of the old shooting ooat. Upon the vast grass -reaches of the west young chickens and sharptails have waxed strong and big, and learned the meaning and power of :stout grouse's wings, and each and all are ganoe worthy of the expert's craft. 'Tis true that the birds will be better still a mouth later, but the waiting is long for eager guns, and too much of the long agony of hope deferred chimes ill with the oportsman's mood; so let brave hearts and true fare keenly forth to levy toll upon the ripened broods and enjoy the dear -loved pleasure of seeing stanchdoge at work again.—Ed. W. Sandys, in Outing. e The 'Various Dozens. The child is taught at school that a dozen means twelve every time, but when the child grows into a man he finds that a dozen is a very elastic term. A baker's dozen is thirteen, and so is a publisher's or a new's agents in many parte of the world. In some sections a dozen of fish means twenty-six, and there are other anomalies of thie kind. But to find a dozen indicat- ing anything from two to fifty it is neces- sary to go to the earthenware trade. Here the size and weight of articles decides how many make a dozen, and in jugs, bowls, plates and so on there are two, -four, six, eight or more to the dozen. A dozen cor ' posed of twelve artioles is a very une uai thing in the wholesale pottery trade and as a result there are few clerkain , more difficult to hold than in eth' r ine. I tried the work once, and fate eignominiously. To have to find the cosi- i j-enofth5a00t daorzteicnlems a may meanmuch a dozenrfh yt mean anythin? ' a very difficult task until a man getsopg oughly used to it. That it is easy thee, I have been told, though I never q/el'used to it sufficiently to know of nlY wn knowledge.—,St. Louis Globe - Den crat. Quess What It Is 4] Adrawing party is a novelty at summer theringe. A large easel blackboard with elan of crayons are the chief properties required. Each person present writes on a slip of paper the animal he wishes to see represented; these slips are mixed in a basket and a choice of them offered to each member of the company in turn. As a slip is drawn the drawer turns to the board and makes the best picture he may ot the animal whose name he has found on the slip. The spectators guess the identity of the animal trorn the counterfeit present- ment on the blackboard ; the greatest number of votes of acouraey determining the winner. Care for Your Sponges. In the first place, they must not only be thoroughly washed, but in order to prevent their becoming foul each part of the sponge ehould be exposed to the air. Fastidious women see to it that this toilet article is each week cleansed by dropping it into water in which a large lump of soda has been dissolved, afterwards boiling it for sixty minutes, when it is rinsed in cold water and given a sun bath until entirely dry. Always rinse all soapy suds from your sponge and then throw it into your basket, which should be hung just outside the bath -room window. A.sponge cared for in this fashion will never be slimy, sour or musty. Prayer Sleeting in a Hotel. The editor of the Walkerton Telescope had occasion to spend an hour or two in Durham recently, and while there witnessed a rather unusual sight at one of the hotels. This was neither more nor less than a family prayer meeting at which the landlord, his wife and all the servants were present. It was conducted by the Methodist minister, who was making one of his usual pastoral visits. The landlord's wife, it appears, was converted some weeks ago, and this fee t will explain the circumstance of the prayer meeting. Household Hints. To purify the air of a newly painted room put several tubs of water in it and it will absorb mach of the odor. An ounce of clove pink petals infused in three -quartets of a pint of pure alcohol, with a few verbena leaves, is a refreshing odor for the bath. The best way when hot grease has been spilled on a floor is to dash cold water over it, so as to harden it quickly and prevent it striking into the board. An enterprising young business man of Windeor has hanging on the wall back of his desk a neatly framed sign which rode : There are Moments when ono : wants to he Alone. On the lower part of title frame is a blank place, and when the butiness man, who has a keen horror of tiroome cranks, feels that an opportune moment has arrived he pulls string and this appears: And this is One of Them. i A watchmaker of Geneva has invented a " talking clock," which is fitted With an interehangeable system of phomegraphie disok, so that it can not wily be Used as an MOM to call Up sleepy servants, but actuadly bid them "Get out of bed" in the eMployer's own voice. A GLENGARRY MIRACLE, ..••••••••••••1 Mr. James Bands' Wonderful Restoration to Health. Atter Three Years of Paralyals, Witty, and Fselessuess, Ile Tells the Tale of Ms Recovery and Renewed Work in the World—Ills Story as Told a Free Press Reporter. • (Ottawa Free Press. The town of Alexandria, some 65 miles south of the oity of Ottawa, on the Canada Atlantic Reilwey, has been completely astonished recently at the marvellous ex- perience of a young man, who, after having Peen bed -ridden for nearly twelve months, and his Mee pronounced incurable by Mon- E. J. O'Brien writes from Boston, Mao., treal and Alexandria doctors, is now re- to the Moncton Transcript.' I wish to state stored to complete health and strength. that the announcement in a local paragraph Mr. James Sands is a young teamster, that 1 intended to move my family to well known and extremely popular through- Boston is incorrecit. I WAS, it is true forced out the country side, and his Moos and to leave Moncton to obtain einpfoyment wonderful re00Very 4070 been—indeed still like many others. I was on Boston Com- are—the chief topic*, in the town and neigh- mons on Sunday afternoon and it seemed as borbood. The story of his miraculous cure if every other person 1 web was from the having reached Ottawa, a rnember of The provinces. Some are doing fairly well and Free Prowl staff journeyed to Alexandria ;Anne are worse off. It is not all sunehine and sought out MeSands for the purpose of in Uncle Sam's; domains after all. My ascertaining the truth of the statements advice to young men and women made regarding his recovery. Mr. Sands is of Canada is to stay at home, a slimly built, but wiry -looking young man hang op a little longer, the tide will soon of about 32 years of age, and when met by turn, and when it does, it will be with such the newspaper Mil the bloom of health was a rush as to swamp the government which on his cheek and his whole frame showed is so largely responsible for the hard times signs of unimpaired vigor and vitality. there. Every man I have met from the The newspaper man told Mr. Sands the Provinces yet has declared that if there was object of their visit, and the latter ex- a change of government he would go home preseed his perfect willingness to give all tmmorrow. The majority of mechanics the facts connected with his case. "I was," lave met are from the Provinces. I believe said Mr. Sands, "a complete wreck, given that this would also be true of hundreds up by the doctors, but now lam well again, and hundreds of young men and women. and gaining strength every day. I was would like to give a word of advice born in Lancaster in 1800, and up to three to you mothers of Moncton and every - years ago I was always healthy and strong, where elfish If you care for your daughters' living in the open air and being well-known welfare, keep them at home. This is no throughout the whole county of Glengarry. place for young girls to come. There are It MO IA the winter of 1888-89 that I first thousands of human snarea watching for felt signs of incipientparalysis. I was then them. If you value your daughters' souls teamster for the sash and door factory here, keep them at home. 1 save two young girls and had been exposed th all kinds of on Sunday in the streets of Boston (who weather. I then experienced violent twist- less than a year ago were Sunday School ing oramps in my right hand. I was in teachers in Monoton.) in company with two Cornwall that winter when the first fast young men, who were so drunk they stroke fell, and remained there for had to keep thent from falling into the three days before 1 knew anybody at all. A gutter. I toll you such sights as these medical man was called in but could do ehould cease every true Canadian to Boun? nothing for me. After that I came home a word of warning. Keep your dastetairs and appeared to get all right for a time, but at home. after a few days the old trouble began again, my hand continuing the twitching and cramping that had preceded the stroke. It is war Up to twelve months two these twitching Teisteertal progress that a remedy be pleas- reeortant in this age of vast unp fits were the only symptoms I suffered from.. al to the taste and to the eye, easily Then in August, 1891, when I was .f taken, acceptable to the stomach and Huntingdon village I sustained a about seven M . nt& a,eeemied ond healthy in its nature and effects. Pos- stroke, and remained unconiteleess ree eessing E hoursA do tphee:feeor leaiXaitietiev'eSanYredosPmeit gigeentlies diuretic known. lEtAlLeSA CORNS, GALLS, SORE SHOULDERS, SCRATCHES, OV 1411Y WOUNDS on litOrit.SalL'S or OJ2I Quickly Reelect. Speedy Cure ailhaIIANTEED if you use alpx.A.,64 siont by Mail on receipt of Price 25 Couto, By V. E. SISOSWORTTIL TORONTO, CAN. AGENT'S Wanted Everywhere. TESTIMONIALS. or hundred and the public are cautioned against numerous unitations sold isa thie shape) at 50 ciente bpx, or six boxes for $2 50, and may be had of all druggists or direct by mail from Dr. Williams' Medicine Company, from either address. The price at which thee° pills are sold make a course of treatment comparatively inexpensive as compaeed with other remedies or medical treatment. Keep Youssitaughters at Home. Freeehitela bbs ono me, and I recovered the paralysis ,titc:it' ,,,AILL'Iolently to be my return home r brought home. Afth,g- lout the ha'a 0.4 gained on me, and of my right arm and le entirely :g and rre my right eye was distorted ay tongue partially paralyzed. I nos -Prescribed for by an Alexandria physi • clan, whose treatment I oarefully followed, but it had no effect. I still got steadily worse, and about a month before Christmae last I went to the English Hospital at Montreal. Prof. Stuart and all the doctors came round me, as mine was a curious ease, and the professor treated me. All the doc- tors could give me no satisfaction, and did not appear to understand my case. 1 questioned some of them, but they told me it was a hopeless case. I remained in the hospital a month, without the least impsove- ment, and was then brought home and re- mained in my bed till May arty. I had constant medical advice' but continued to grow worse and worse. My right arm withered and I grew so weak and useless that I could not turn myself in bed. Meantime I had tried all sorts of patent medicines without the least effect. In May I saw an advertise- ment of Dr. Williams' Pink Pills in the papers, and said I would try them as a last resort. I had heard of the wonderful cures worked by Pink Pills, and told my folks to get me some. I had not taken them long when I found inyeelf improving, and Ude determined me to continue their use. My strength gradually returned,the muscles of my arm and leg becameinvig- orated and stronger, and I was able to sit up. I still continued taking the Pills and gaining strength, until at last I was able to go about, and finally to return to ray old place at the sash and door factory. I gave up the Pille for a while, but did not, feel so well, so I again began their use. I now feel as well as ever, though perhapsnot quite so strong as formerly. You can see my right arm, whioh was withered, is now all rig -ht," and Mr. Sands stretched out a muscular limb, which would have done credit to a blacksmith. In reply to the reporter Mr. Sands said he thought his trouble had been brought on through ex- posure to the weather. "1 am com- pletely satisfied," said he, "that it is en- tirely to Dr. Williams' Pink Pills that I owe my wonderful restoration. Besides the medical treatment I had tried electri- city and patent medicinee, both internal and external, but without the slightest avail. .After beginning Pink Pills I began to mend, and they have made a new man of me." The newspaper man thenoalled on Messrs. Ostrom Bros. & Co., widely known drug- gists, and interviewed their representative, Mr. Smith, as to his knowledge of the case. Mr. Smith was fully convenient with the facts, and vouched for the story told by Mr. Sands, and further said that his hopeless case and remarkable recovery are kisoven throughout Glengarry County. In reply to the query if many of Dr. Williams' Pink Pills are eold, Mr. Smith replied that the sale was remarkable and that in his experience he had never handled a remedy that sold so well, or gave such general satisfaction to those using them, as everywhere glowing reports are heard of the excellent results following their use. Dr. Williams' Pink Pills are not as patent medicine in the sense that word Is under- stood. They are the result of years of experience and careful investigation. They are not a purgative median°, but act directly upon the blood and nervere supply - ng those constituents required to enrieh he former and stimulate and restore the latter. For all diseases depending upon a vitiated condition of the blood, or shattered nervee, they are an unfailing remedy. Suoh diseases as these speedily yield to their treatment. Locornotor ataxia, partial po,ralyais, St. Vitus' dance, neuralgia, rheineatisba, sciatica, nervottsprostration, nervous headache, dyspepsia, chronic erysipelas, Scrofula, etc. They are a pecifie for the troubles peouliar to female, oorreeting irregularities, and restoring the functions, and in the case of men effect a ritdieal cure in all casee arising from over- work, niontal worry or excesses of any nature, In fact it may be said of them "They come) es a boon and a blessing to filen, Pestering to health, life and vigor again,' These Pills are manufactured by the Dr. William? Medicine Company, Brookville, Ont., and Schenectady, N. Y._, and are Bold in bone (never it loose form by the dozen She Wanted Congenial Company. "I'm a sick woman, dootor." "Well, madam ?" "Bub, doctor, I ain't well. I'm sick, I tdil you" "1 was going to say that I know a sani- tarium up in the White Mountains that would suit you." "Sanitarium be blowed ! There is nobody but invalids there. How would Long Branch do ?" No Wonder She Ricked. Firat Servant—How do you like your new place? Second Servant—I don't like it at all. "What is the matter? Do they treat you rudely V' "Oh, no; but they talk so loud I can hear every word they say without having to listen, and I ain't need to that." Mothers, are your daughters,pale or asllow t Remember that the period when they are budding into womanhood is most critical; fortify their system for the change with Dr. Williams' Pink Pills, unsurpassed for the speedy cure of all troubles peculiar to females. A trial of a single box will convince you. Beware of imitations and take no substitute. The Coat's Choice. - Finis Goat—Say, Willie, which do you like the beet, fresh tonsatoes or canned tomatoes? Second Goat—Oh, canned tomatoes, by all means 1 I think the can the best part of the tomato. MITS.—All atopped free bi Dr. SI,Une's Great Nerve leestarer. No Fite after first day's nee. Marvellous cures. 'Treatise atad82.8;) trial bobble free to Fit eases. 5e40 40 Dr. Mire OM Arch 54.. Philadelphia, Ps, Mary Ann McKean, who died in Liver- pool recently at the age of 86 years, had been in the service) of the Gladstone family over half a century. Ebhel—Don't you think my Mr. Duplex is very natural in all he says and does? Maud—Yes, I guess he is one of those freaks of nature you read about. The muddy water of the Nile is clarified by rubbing bitter almonds on the sides of the water yeesele. .Tese—I thought you were th stay at the Mountain House a week? Bess—I was, but there was only one man there and I was engaged Co kim last Beeson " WHAT is woman for ?" was asked by Dr. L. F. Bryson, ata meeting of the Ame- rican Social Science Association in Saratoga last week. The New York Sun makes this gushing reply: "She is for soul, for thought, for love, for bewitchment, for romance, for beauty and for. man. She is for this world and for other worlds. She is for all time and after time. She is for memory and for hope. She is for dreams beauteous. She is for poetry and art. She is for the fulfilment of the human imagination. She is for the household and her mate. She is for every - Using that is worth anything. She is for life. She is for faith. She is for earth and heaven. She is for mummer and for winter. She is for the glory of the world, 'which would he intolerable without her. She is for delicacy and daintiness. She is for youth, for middle age' for old age. She is for the merry-heartedand for the weary - footed. She le for light. She is the crown of creation, tho consummate masterpiece of nature. It was Robert Burns who, in an hour of ecstaoy, sang: Auld Nature swears the lovely dears Her noblest work she classes, 0; Her 'prentice han' she tried on man, Atul then she made the lasses, 0 1 " What is Woman for ? " cries Dr, Bryson, while standing up berote the American Social Science Association. She is not for analysis by the chemical methods of the members of that body. She is not for the monaculond inspection of a lot of delegates assembled in convention. She is not for the gretification of social curiosity. She is not tor noienee alone. Oh, no, no 1 She is for those only who surrender their S011is Wh011y to her Magic, and throw themeelves unreservedly at her feet. /t is said to have cost the preeent Em- peror of China $10,000,000 to get married. He must have done his oourting at a sum- mer resort. WORTH KNOWING MIL 4011••••••• How to Treat Those Who Axe Overcome With Go. Several suggestions were made by differs eat speakers at the recant meeting of the American Chse Light Association, nti Teronto. 1. Take the man at once into freSh Don't crowd around him. 2, Keep him on his back, Don't raise lag head, or turn him on his side. 3. Loosen his clothing at his neck and waist. 4. Give a little brandy and water—not more than four tablespoonfuls of brandy in all. Give the ammonia mixture (ono part aromatic mixture to sixteen parts a water) in small quantities at short inter- vals—a tearipoonful every two or three minutes. 5. Slap the face and ohest with the wet end of a towel. 6. Apply warmth and friction if the body or limbs are cold. 7. If the breathing is feeble or irregular, artificial respiration should be used, and kept up until there is no doubt 4040 10 can no longer be of use. 8. Adminizher oxygen.—Coilege 014103 ea/ Record. "From what you say I think your soo must have a vaulting runtrintion." Mother —Oh, my, yea! he took the first prize for the standing juJop when he was at college. The youngeit mao in the new British House of Conzhnons is 22 Fears old, the oldest 90. eseesesheiseassavaa4shaseaseneanaes ISSUE" NO 33. 1892. NATE Su ec plying to any or theca Advertheueute tx, natty tneneeri,thts...pesto • SOOTHINO, CI_EANSMG, HEAL. NO. Instant Relief, Permanent Cure, Failure Impossib(e. . Many so-called disuses are simply symptoun ot C9.tarrb, aueb as headache, losi og sense of smell, foul breath, hawking and splitting, general feeling of debility, etc. If f.rni are troubled with any of thcao or kindred symptoms, you have Catarrh, and should lose no time procuring_ a bottle of Maar, Haws. Be warned in time, neglected cold in head results isa Catarrh; followed by consumption and death. Sold by all druggists, or sent, post paid, on receipt of price (50 cents and $1) by addressing Fln.FORD & CO. BrockvIlle,Ont. fte,iootr.v.ti,x . yti t"C•n] '41 x enrxmrisexoNo To ANY SUFFERER from Lost Manhood, Nervous Debility, Early Abuse and Errors, a cure, that after being humbugged for years. restored me to health and happiness in a few weeks. Please inclose stamp tor reply. Care sent securely sealed. Correspondence sacredly confidential. Address D. G. Owen, Torento,Ont. CREELMAN BRC)S. Knitting Machines Will Not Be at The o 4`• °C\ *1%41 eNtv'S 0(4° *.• st4 t6' V\` nIA 6,sPoiet*siA ,zoel 00 voqe This is good for 42.00. Send to ns. Do you wieh to marry or get funny FUNletters/ Send 10e. for list of 80 GIRLS who will ''rite to you. FUN Mamma, Co.. Bx. 43, fts sumpsie, Vt. TIEVELLING detective Stories, 18 Com plete ove stories and 100 Popular Song t 31 loc. BARNARD BROS, 38 MeCant street, Toronto Out MILORIDA'S ADVAN'PAGES FOR SMALL A: investments. See Florida Real Eetate Jattreal„ ,s,ertadta Fla. Sample and mop 10a, silver 111.CflIGAN LAN% FOE SAIL lz 000 Of gpud Farming Lands,tiele rivriee, A (ittlamlantrLoaltoen RestiritItt cres prioes miming from 42 to 46 par acre. Tiara lands are close be soderieristlig new towns. churohes, wheels, etc., and will be said on mos favors pie tearter.sti.. Apply e P13811030, womb 6.a, 4240 Or so J. Vie, CURTHI, Wbibternore, Mich Please mention this paper when writing! CHEAFFARIVISINVIRGINIA. auto otamATE, GOOD swarms And good land from 05 to 020 PER ACRE with improventouts. Send for our circular. PYLE & DO/LATEX, Petersburg, Va ATTENTIO1V9 snit:A*17A= nob an agent but would like to be one; if you are out of work; it you have a few hours te spare each day; if you want to make money send us your name and address and we wit send youour illustrated list free of mob. WILLIAM BRIGGS, 82 Temperance street, Itorenta DOMINION SILVER COMPANY TATE RAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT TT certain parties, svibhont proper outhoriti,, are tilling Our name and reputation to :wean Orders for gods .01 an inferior quality. The nibble dee _hobfiled that all oiler geode are agents. stamped With ant bathe se that the Luiposeilair can be detected at Once. We Wenb seveeril Mote nushIng men bo Imo at ROA/ONION SILVER COMPANY, Grant% Out '4V45,1Fiq CHIRPS VglIEFIF, ALL icE FAILS. fie!iAt':.1!:721ot . .N4 WI, QNsr(J*4.