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The Goderich Signal-Star, 1967-05-11, Page 18SigItaWair, Ttisf 1 MT' umb Notes Along A Highway � Home (By G. MacLeod Ross) Very very occasiQi ally the Blue Thumb finds it not only des. irable but essential to exchange the heady delights of Goderichfor an inspection to ascertain how the Other parts of the continent have regressed. As will be appreciat- ed, the progression becomes an interesting exercise in compara. tive analysis. Since much the •isame route isfollowedeach year, variety is achieved by .stops a't different places, thus ensuring that the delights 'find disappoint. ments of new hostelries, may be J'savoured. The. final destination) -is always the same, because the reconnaissance of former years has decided that here can be found with certainty that mixture of sea, *sun, comfortable accommodation and. a few well proven restaur. ants. THE •HIGH O/ AYS Whenever we travel south of the border we are impreSsed by the fact that the speed limits for a given width of road kre lower than in Ontario. On a 3 -lane high- way 65 is maximum. On a 2. lane, 55, yet there is a rumour that our route 21 will be boosted to '70 m.p.h. The longer you drive, - the more obvious it becomes that trucks should be relegated to a separate route of their own. Their huge behinds blind you to on com- ing traffic; they are no respect. ers • of - speed limits, yet up hills they labour like grampuses. That, the truckers themselves are becoming self-conscious is proved by the practice of rec ording on their backsides: "This truck pays $2,074 per annum in. When members are well or- ganized, church halls can be oroughly cleaned quickly. E• ENJOY' THE FINEST FOOD IN TOWN Chinese Food Our Specialty ALSO, TAKE-OUT ORDERS OPEN DAILY 7 a.m. to.10 p.m. Open. Friday and Saturday Until 12 Midnight Th Es � .Esquire Restaurant "5244941" • highw4 taxes." Another claimed to pay $3,2$7 per annum. t,#t intervals along the North Car. olinian roads they erect a sign: T1 .INK, at intervals. It is just as ineffective as saying: R E MEM. BER, for the man who passes. yea, seems to have taken the route number as the speed limit . 95 thereabouts.. There. are, other corny notices: "Eat here or,we both starve! ", while a car of newly.weds bears the device: "Palm Springs - Bed Springs". Later on you are bidden go sink your dentures into a 1Sir Loin bun.' Finding the route is always in. volved because of the age -long warfare between the federal and state authorities as to the num- erals to be ascribed to the route, Check, the map and you find the oil company has failed to reconcile the fracas too and soomits any number at all. THE.i1HOSTE LR SES At one of our stops ween. countered the " reincarnation of Mrs. Danvers. Daphne du Mau rier would have loved her and the vinegar was fairly dripping Froin PUBLIC Npy_i_cE All winter wreaths, Perma-View stands, etc. in Maitland Cemetery must be removed before May 15th. We cannot be respon- sible for any remaining after this date. the Maitland Cemetery B�arcf her fangs, yet judging by the auto show outside it was a popular stop. Cadillacs jostled Lincolns and Imperials elbowed scintillat- ing Buicks. But never jtdge a man by his car. He ' ptoba'bly doesn't , own it diitright yet. Mrs, Dardvers dem; anded payment before surrender. ing the key, while in the rooms they obviously counted out the sheets of Kleenex allowed per person, per tripe or per part of 'per trip. ,,10 longath. No bath mat; little itsy bitsy towels for the bathers and of _course that' hoary old joker The Heat Regula a tor. Sonfetimes these are just in. animate wall placques, with a pointer moving over a scale from 30 degrees F, to 90 degrees F. yet always` with out any sensibi " result. Hopefully you .select40 degrees on the meter. No. result. Push on to 80 degrees. Still no result and so to • bed wrapped in every clout yoo own. A t 3 a.m. -you are awoken by a temperat. ure the height of which the San. ara ;never knew, You stumble to the bathroom, parched and in search' of Gunga Dm and his water c'hsrgal!• 1t is then you realise that it isinine hostess who holds the key. of warmth and cold and that never -the twain shall meet: in moderation. But we must not complain, for last year a superfluity of bodies forced us into a motel where the electric light switches had been 'stolen'. You just touched two bare wires together and then look- ed around for a bit of Scotch tape to hold thein thus. DECLINATION SOUTH One infallible sign that your progression 'south is ever deep. • er lies .in the daily crosswords, which be,omeeasier and •easier . Would it be unchivalrous to draw the obvious deduction? Reference has been made to the regression in the standard of liv. ing, so here' are -h- few obser- vations' in support of its cancer- ous growth-. That primal symbol_ which used • to usher in every meal- the glass of iced water. is. rapidly disappearing from the tables of public eating houses, all in the interests, of saving labour and breakages. Even at,our favourite restaur.. ant the snow white napery which once graced the tables has given place to paper place mats and paper napkins, with much saving in laundry expense. The gaily pat. .even the smallest electrical gIft says happy mother's day in a great r big way Ca. Whatever you give, 'she'll consider the thought'more important than the gift. Mothers are Tike that. But an electrical gift shows a little extra thought. An electrical gift can help her with housework, entertain her, tell her the time, ,or just keep her looking lovely. Any gift will show you care on Mother's Day. An electrical, gift reminds her all year 'round. live better electrically GODERICH PUBLIC UTILITIES COMMISSION' terned china with its flowered design, acquired in tate tumult. uous heyday of anew motel, has been replaced by a more sober, patternless design to make up casualties, Saddest thing of all, the,,most popular collector's item, the book match, With its cheery message, bold upon the house colours, even • this • is naw replaced- by a book. with asks: , "Who Cares?", and then itself supplies the answer: "Ann Page ca,resl" So comfort- ing! The daily new cakes' of soap are gone with, the wind and Dial ' as you will. the same cake an. swers the call. The menu too, has been severely butchered and the cry goes up: "Where now is the lobster once I knew?" But the unkindest cut of all; drinks' have increased in price 'by 12 percent. Ah mel -Ah myl, ANOMALIES Coming as you do trim peace. oving Canada where no one would dream of hurting a fly you are shocked to find that South' Car- olina takes a fiendish delight in shocking the eye with huge pos. tee's offering FIREWORKS, at, frequent intervals along the road. It must be many years since you lit your first Ronan candle, or watched a pinwheel gyrate. The temptation is too great and in a moment of exuberance you ‘Vow to give the ki`,,ds a treat. Out you come, laden with a coll. •ection of the most lethal devic. es known to the modern world. 6 -w, • ,Sweet Home Seems Sweeter ICBM's; jets; bombs; delay act. ion mines (Wa4erproof. Try'Qne in Dad's bath); booby traps (Hide. one in Aunty's stocking) a com- plete arsenal for both demolit. ion and mayhem. The beach with its thousand tthinterrupted miles of sea will be afine place to loose them ff, even if Sir Fran. cis Chichester in Gipsy Moth IV is just off the Outer Banks of Hat. teras. But nol 0 n the beach you are met by a stern notice: FIRE- WORKS PROHIBITED FINE $100. Why In. Ontario there your car is constantly takingcontrol, you can wreck the• lot, ;kill all the passengers for the same money! Finally a long standingidioeyn cracy of the North American - continent ontinent deserves a word. It can be -found under the heading; .cut. levy,.steak,, forthe use of. To' make the ,figure work all that is . required is to order, 'steak'; any steak, This trips the jiiechanism and the 'bunny' makes a special trip to confer on you the stea knife and at once you are apart from the common herd. Steak -knives ares'' a • law unto themselves. They are made of very poor steel; are highly nick- el plated and have saw teeth cut on the edge of the blade, reminis. cent of the French bayonet of Franco-"russian war vintage. Tne cunning behind this ritual is that it becomes impossible to ass. ert with certainty whether it is the knife which is so blunt, or the steak which is so tough. It is entrancing to ws.tdh the nat. iveS operate. They spear the steak with a vertical downward thrust of the fork, rather like spearing fish, then they saw, hack;hew, press, lever, tear; be. corning hungrier by seconds as each successive combat technic'. ue fails to impress the boot. sole -leather on the platter. When finally they, complain, the 'bunny.' says; "Ph, I'll get you another steak knife", and the hacking and hewing (I'm a combination man myself) "continues far into the night. • - This is only one .of the hazards of the repast. For some years now I have been at a loss to under. stand why the heel of my left hand was so sore after a sojourn south. This year, employing the_ most modern methods of critical observation, I solved the, pro, blem. It appears there are two dissimilar drills for the use of the fork and knife. The natives ,start the onslaught, fork in left hand,', spearing vertically down on the 'viand: Thus the Sharp -end of the fork handle evades them. Then having etit off Odin the hunko de . boeuf • belle a bite. sine piece, the knife is dropped, MOTHRR'S DAY BUE1!ET DINNER HARBOURLITE INN Risinfatims 524.071 - 9264 the fork transferred to the right hand' and here is the catch. -The fork prongs are always kept UP -- WARDS. So their right palm es. capes unscathed:, Now. there are still those of uswho were taught (1) always to retain fork in left, • knife in right hand and (2) always to , keep the prongs of the fork facing DOWN, except wheneatin peas. Their fork handles end in a blunted spear. Curs are rounde to caress thq heel: 'of the hall uod eat demonstrandunzj MORE an MORE and .DRIVE People'. DT AND SAVE ON HOME APPLIANCES, , HOME ENTERTAINMENT PRODUCTS, CAR RADIOS, TV ANTENNAS AND SUP- PLIES, VACUUM CLEANERS AND FLOOR POLISHERS, ETC. • OUR AIM—To provide you with thq best quality, mo trouble free products at reasonable prices. WATCH FOR OUR 'MAY SALE" 11UTCHINSON W RADIO -r-- 'l'V -- APPLIANCES -308 HURON RD. 5247831 SUPER -RIGHT QUALITY -CANADA'S FINEST RED BRAND STEER BEEF BLADE : BONE ,REMOVED •To her family, she's special. She's understanding, a Ybarlquet chef, a short order cook, a fountain of love, a chauffeur, warmth and security. 5he%s clean socks, starched dresses, a mender of hurts. She's scrubbecfars, - a tender nurse, a maid, a queen. She deserves a day of honour and tribute. She deserves the love of those she loves. Yes, she's very, very special. This Sunday, you'll tell your mother how much you care. We'd like to tell all mothers, "We Care, too". ,c. SUPER -RIGHT BRAND VAC PAC - CO. KED HAM 4 6-0Z PKG ST SHORT OR CROSS C.UT R AS T RIS � EXCELLENT FOR. BRAISING STEAK AD►E 1 Ib fle SHOULDER ROAST GROUND CHUCK BRAISING RIBS BRAISING RIBS ROUND BONE. POT ROAST FRESHLY MINCED LEAN LEAN BONELESS LB LB 67? LB 39? La69a SX BRAND CANNED.. HAM: 3 -LB TIN Mexican, Salmon. Flesh, No. I Grade CANTALOUPE EXTRA LARGE SIZE 27's each SHOPSY BOIL BAG CORNED' BEEF WITH FREE 2 OZ.' PKG. OF PASTRAMI Choice Quality AQP PEAS a NONE PRICED HIGHER_AT A&P California, Fresh 'Green Large Firm Heads, size 24's LETTUCE "' No,1 Grade each 21 NONE PRICED HIGHER AT A&P Ontario Grown No, 1 Geld*, Hot House, 'King Sixd CUCUMBERS .g2 FOR- 2.9c NONE PRICED HIGHER AT A&P Y °19-fI-ot tins A&P . Fancy Quality, TOMATO JUI� )it 19 -f1 -oz -tins • 3¢ _AstP PEACHES CHOICE QUALITY 214-fl-oz'Ins 55c ADE Fruit Drinks 48 -CMZ. TINS ,4 ,FOR 9'9c CANNED SPORK Jane Parker 4 LEMONPIE.- FULL 8 -INCH SIZE ALL PRICES SHOWN IN THIS AD GUARANTEED THROUGH SATURDAY, ,, MAY 13th, 1967. Reg. Price 57c SAVE 8c • .12-oz'tin 49c Reg. Price 49c — SAVE 6o each 4"3c VISIT WiTH US AT .. WE'RE IP POULTRY •r 4. APr' L i, . OCrO* ' 17 NSORING THE "EGO GRATaNG PACTORY" iu11nIPic1 — AGRICULTURAL SECTION rti