The Goderich Signal-Star, 1963-03-28, Page 8C1.
*AM.
Mir Immo
AR
and
4441'04104. By Bill Srrt'iley OMER=
There's nothing quite as de-
stroYing nte being torn between
two women. Some fellows are
ripped asunder by a wife pull-
ing in one direction, a mother
hauling in the other.
Other chaps Are split down
the middle by the big decision:
should I marry Mabel, who is
good, kind, sweet, homely, dull
and crazy,about me; or should
I run afte7 torso, who is bad,
cruel, mean, eye-popping, ex-
citing, and couldn't care less
if I dropped dead?
* * *
' I remember one time when
I was about 18. It may be hard
to believe, for those who know
me now, but that was the year
I had two girls keen on me.
At the same time, I was pretty
loud of both. One was sweet
and innocent. The other was a
red -head with a wicked shape.
I don't -know how it. happen-
ed, but by some miracle of mis-
management, I made a date
with both girls for the same
night, same time. When I real-
ized the pickle I Was in, I knew
that each would be furious if
I stepped out with the other
one. So I took the sensible,
cowardly way out, stood them
both up, and went to a country
dance Avith the boys. Both girls
recovered- from the blow with
amazing speed and,,eventually
had the good sense to marry
somebody with some guts.,
It is only we cowards wbo
get into those. jams. And I'm
in another one, right now. This
time, my wife and daughter are
tearing me in two. They're.
worse than :politicians. Each
bends my ear with intensity
when the other isn't around,
trying to persuade, bribe or
inveigle me into joining her
It's all over 'those-c-razy
tens. Four more arrived two
days ago. It's the fourth batch
in two years. Our cat, needless
to say,. a real sex -pot.
The first batch Was an event.
The kids witnessed the wonders
of birth. There was tremend-
ous excitement. The kittens
were nourished and cherished.
The maw was fed dainties. I
bought cigars.
When the kittens were wean-
ed, I had a talk with my daugh-
ter. She wept, but agreed that
we might have a problem if
we kept them all. I -put an ad
-in-the-paper_lt_was_on_a pretty
lofty tone, demanding a good
home, suggesting- that nothing
litit the best would do. We got
• rid of them all, easily.
Next time around, a little- Of
the gloss had worn off. It took
two iacis in the paper, to get rid
of only two kittens. Finally, a
.little boy turned up. He wnted
only one, butel -told him they
were inseparable twins, bullied
• him, threatened him, cajoled
Mil, and finally, he took them,
when I gaVe him half a dollar
- apiece.
The third batch brought ulti-
And I don't blame her much.
Have you ever tried to get
dinner with four mewling little
beistr-tottering about- under-
-foot, widdling on the floor at
ei;ery step? Even their own
mother ileciime fed up with
the grocery -gutted little punks,
•
who gave her never a memeter
rest.
Three ads in t'he paper pro-
duced one relu,ctant customer.
My sister came to visit, • and,
her normal good sense destroy-
ed by a pre -dinner martini, in
which I craftily tripled every-
thing except the olive, she was
a fairly..ensy victim. That left
two kittens.
* * *
We couldn't move them. The
market for -kittens was app.ar-
ently- saturated. There were
two, alternatices - kittens or
wife. Kittens can't cook.
All right. I admit it. I did
it. I still shudder when I think
of it. I've never been the same
since. But I don't want to go
into details. Just call nie
Eichmann, for short.
Never again, I swore silently.
Especially after my daughter.
came down in the morning, im-
mediately spotted the empty
box, pointed her finger at her
parents, and screamed, "Mur-
* *
The battle is on noW. The
old Trouble 'n Strife says
they've got to go. Young Kim
is watching, me like a hawk,
and reminding me of my past
perfidy.
I haven't the nerve to murder
them. I haven't the nerve, not
to get rid of, them, somehow.
The only. way out, as far as
can see, is to take „them in a
basket'suitably decorated, with
an.appropriate note inside, and
leave them on the doorstep of -
our next-door -neighbor, whose
big, black tomcat is at the root
of the whole dilemma.
TREACHEROUS ICE
Ice can be a lot of fun if
yeu're a skater or an ice -fisher-
man, but it can also be treach-
erous. Every year in Ontario
about 10 people drown. from
falling through ice, and hund-
reds more have 'Close calls but
are rescued. The Ontario Saf-
ety League advises you to be
especially wary of ice- at this
orrnerAoderich Residents Are
Most Nuinerotis-25-At Huronview
'Flu at HtironvieW has bee
kept Limier control by the do
tor ana nurses 'as much a
-tendent Harvey Johnston re:
ported to county couneil on
Thursdey. Since January 1
there had been 16 aadmissionee
and "a record number" of
deaths from 'fiu and other
causes. There had been eight
[deaths in the 'period, and pone
inmate discharged.
"We are not having any visit
ors in the past two weeks,'"
Mr. Johnsten stated, "and the
ban may not he lifted for some
time. A nurse told me this
morning we still have about
28 people running a temper-
ature.
n of Reeve William Morritt, Blyth,
c. and depnty clerktreasurer 13. 0.
Hazily. He suggested that a
.card. be sent the former.
-- Tentative dates were set for
committee Meetings that of the
emergency measures committee
to be "Seine time in the near
-future." The budget provides
$12,280 for EMO costs.
Anthem*, .11eeve Milton Oesch
of Zurich "got in. an announce-
ment about a saurkraut supper,
tickets availeble.
DOUG'. BRITTON
Maher Shoe Setores wish to
announce the appointment of
their neW Goderich Manager,
Mr. Douglas Britton. Mr. Brit-
ton has a great deal of ex-
perience in the ashoe husieess
and is very capable of handling
all your footwear problems.
You are invited to come in
and meet our new manager and
see our new spring lines.
Advt.
PORT 4LBERT
PORT ALBERT, March 25, -
The March meeting of the Unit-
ed Church Womee was held at
the home of AIrs. R. MacKenzie.
There were eight members pre
sent. The president presided.,
Scripture was read by Mrs
Dickson. The roll call was
given-. Reports were mid and
adopted. Six sick and shut-in
calls Were reported. Quilts and
supplies wete discussed for the
bale. Mrs. Lednor read sev-
eral Easter poems. Mrs. D.
Young 'gave the study book. An
Easter hymn closed the meet-
ing, followed with the bene-
diction. A lunch Was served
by the hostess.
Bell Directories
At The Library
The Bell Telephone Company
hafS presented to The Goderich
Public Library a complete set
of all directories for Ontario
and Quebec. The largest is the
Montreal directory with 1450
It weighs 61/, pounds. The
smallest is for Maniwaki, Que-
bec, .with 74 pages, which are
half the size of the regular
pages. Goderich area residents
will be able -to look up phone
numbers or addresses of people
from these directories.
•
time of year. You .can't always thick so that
judge its strength by thickness, child's weight.
and warmer weather and sun -1°f winter, it's
shine can "rot" ice even a foof I shore.
it won't' hold a
Toward` the end
time. to stay on
"One time this month we had
194 people in the Home, but
today it is down te 190-79
male and 111 female. We have
one person committed by the
magistrate, five from the On-
tario Hospital, London, and one
from the Cobourg Home."
The superintendent gave a
break -down showing the num-
ber of inmates from each Huron
municipality:
Ashfield three; Blyth two,
Brussels four, Clinton 16, Col:
borne five,,Exeter 16, Goderich
25, Goderich Township five,
Grey three, Hay eeven, Hensall
four, nowt& Hullett seven,
MoKillop one, Morris two, Sea -
forth 10, Stanley 11, Stephen
three Tuckersmith nine, Turn -
berry six, Usborne two, East
nine, Wingham 'eight, Zurich
"Seine have been with ue a
good many years," the superin-
,tendent remarked.
The Huronview committee, of
which Reeve Cliff Dunbar -of
Grey is chairman, reported that
work to cost about $1,000 will
be done on the roof of the 1954
addition, in hope of avoiding
expenditure of four or five
times that,amount.
"The roof Was.of a type ordin-
arily put on in 1954," said the
chairman, "and 'litigation would
be in•advisable."
Chairman Dunbar noted that
while "lots of these people are
on a- 40 -hour week (on Huron-
vieW staff), Mr. Johnston's time
goes on seven days a week, and
"we thought for his extra duties.
he should get an extra week
of -vacation, but the_ personnel
corrunittee has not concurred."
Warden.. Forbes seid the op-
position w'as not from the com-
mittee, but the department of
welfare would not approve. He
mentioned Mr. N: Drew of the
Homes for the Aged branch. .
As business came to a close,
rich, took note of the 'illness
Meeting Of
Knox W.M.S.
The W.M.S. meeting of Knox
Presbyterian Church was held
Marcb 1.9th -with the president,
Mrs. ' C. Straughan presiding,
and Mrs. G. Stokes as secretary.
in the absence of Mrs, 11. E.
Wilson.
Tbseroll call was answered
by ae Bible eerse. It was an-
nounce that Mrs. Denton Tay-
lor was to be the speaker at
the next meeting.
The annual meeting of the
Synodical of -Hamilton and Lon-
don will be held in Wingham on
April 2, 3 and 4. On the morn-
ing of Kpril 9, the anniversary
pages will be presented from
each, Presbyterial. Mrs. W.
Tebbutt and Mrs. F. MacArthur
will be in charge of transporta-
tion of those geeing to Wingham.
-- A letter from India was read,
expressing appreciation for the
used Christmas cards. Miss L.
MacArthur reported 25 hos-
pital calls, and 19 calls were
made on .shet-inse
Mrs. J. Thomson• reported
BACKACHE?
For relief from
backache or thae
tired -out feeling
I depend on -
an inOrease in the SUpply al-
location which- will be $38. The
offering was received and dedi-
cated by Miss MacArthur, fel-
loved by a lovely duet by Mrs.
G. Hendersen and Mrs. H. Lee -
The worship swift' coneist-
Mg of Bible reading, medita-
tion and prayer by Miss Marion
Niabrer waS an inspiration to
Mrs. J. Thomson and Miss
MecArthier planned a question
and answer arrangement of the
topic. on Okinawa. •
Greenland is traditionally
consid,ered part of North Am-
erica, abut Iceland' is •generally
assogiated "with Europe. An-
other arbitrary distinction is
that the islands of the Carib-
bean are not actually included
as part of this continent's off-
shore family, although every
isle farther north is considered
to be North American in a
geographical sense: Finally,
North America has Its southern
boundary on the frontier be-
tween Mexico, on the one hand
and Guatemala and British Hon-
duras' en the other -another de-
finition more justified by cus-
SEYER,RGURE..TELPONE-
NUMBERS-cONCTHIS .FAILL
Goderieh will get seven -figure
'telephone numbers October,
,coincident with publication of
the 1963' directory. •
ber Calling (ANC) plan,, will
mean that the letters in the
number will be .replaced by
the figures with which they
correspond on the dial:
meking the new prefix 524.
Since the new number will be
completed by the other digits
of your present number there
will be no difference in the
way you will dial.
Seven -figure numbers are be-
ing adopted gradually by most
telephone companies in North
America. One of the main rea-
sons. is that they make more
number's available than flit- let-
ter -figure system.
The number of letter combin-
ations that are practical for use
in numbers is limited and will
be. ,suffieient to take care of
Make your home complete -
with CH.....!....6111/I- ALOX*
time. On the other, hand, the
all -figure system will guarantee,
an adeqnate, simply for many'
There are other advatetages 4,0
the all-Aguee plan. ?or ex-
ample; it helps reduce dialing
errors because of the impos-
ebnity of mixing up exchange
names that sound alike. Also,
it eliminates the confusion, be-
tween the letter "I" and the
figure one and the letter "0"
and the figure zero on the
Business establishments or-
dering new stationery at The
Signal -Star should keep in mind
the change in mitriber form or
on other advertising material
printed. However, since calls
dialed ae letter -figure numbers
M � rV
will 'still gq tlarougii
chaxvg it wi�11 snot be aecek
to'd any printf
416:;61-62
in a�uznbers in the
exc�ess�� � 2 the federaa dAi
A_ p,czrdiflgv. oy
fi� t ' � asap 791 ma,i�lioz�� the
municipal btu
montts was $313 million And
deficit of all provin ial goy
ments was. $134 mullion.
The Detroit autoteohile
ducer, typical of loge in
facturers today, must es
his wares on the basis of an
pated sales to unknown east
ers .in the future. seen
the modern consumer must
such a multiplicity of gods
he cannot have intimate k
ledge of • their inherent q
ities. This situation has
to the development of nee
ands -of North Americans
n6w engaged full-time.
•
FOR GENERAL INSURANCE
See KEN CROFT
FIRE — AUTO — LIABILITY -4
CASUALTY—Phone JA4-7253
4. Business Directory
BASEBOARD
• HEATERS
,e.,
REAL ESTATE
W. 1 HUGHES
-FAN DRIVBN WALL INSERT •
HEATERS
FIRE and AUTO
50 ELGIN AVE. E.
Phone -IA 4-8526
Mechanical and Body Repair;
Wheel Alignment and Be
ance, Window Replacement;
Radiator Repairs.
Protect against eust with
DAVIDSON'S Texaco Service
No. 8 Highway, Goderich
Phone JA 4 -7231 -
RS
REM
larch meet
he GAUL
with. the
lrs. Bert
the absene
.1 Phillips 1
throughout
ninutO we
also gave
'Qnt. The
•ead which'
greetings "fi
The, exec
to attend
on April 2
District Ar
Dungannon
was deciac
"Ila4gitt to
to, get the
the second
about the
it at the A
a group
Every me
husband e
be held on
and each
is to be
Donald
Eastern L.S.J
on the
iiiittee, re
had -been
as well as.
to new bs,
ity. Mrs
gave sevl
Mrs. D11
er of pi,
duced the
-warden O
ship coup
county ci
Mr. Duni
of Wyst
1946 ani
11
WeS1
Otte o
eiliz
honorud
he has
, into bei
port. T1
carried
lauflator
tion
live• of
municip
the
existette
thowTh
yr after
rport
laity
snlendic
yeceivec
wall of
by the
Departn
plaque
tain of
Above are some of the Chromalox li,ne of Eleotrio
Heating Units -We'll be glad to show you how little
4 will cost to install the type best suiting your needs!
Wiliiam -MacDanald Electric
Company Limited
,133 Britannia Rd.
75
HOUSE FOR SALE
BY TENDER -
Roy N. Bentley
PUBLIC, ACCOUNTANT
Phone JA 4-9521
GODERICH - ONTARIO
Sealed tenders will be received up to,5 P.M., Monday, April 8th, for
the purchase of the House and lot situated on the South-east
corner of Victoria and St. David Sts. (Formeyly Robertson
House). Full size lot approx. 104' frontage on Victoria St.
A certified cheque for 20% to accompany, tender and the balance
Arrangements to view the house may be made by contacting Mr.
payable within 30.days.
C. M. Robertson, Park Street.
Tenders to be addressellii—Alelindra Marine &tie- neral. Hos-
The highest or any tender not necessarily' accepted,.
st, 124.4
FOR THE BEST IN
PORTRAITS
CALL PHONE OR WRITE
DAY OR NIGHT
Stan Radden
118 St., David -Stree!
TELEPHONE JAskson 4-8787
.George Turto
INSURANCE -
Co -operators Insurance
A Complete Line of Casualty
and Life Insurance.
Prompt, Efficient Claims Ser.
vice by Godefich Adjuster
319 Huron Road
Phone JA 4-7411
Real Estate Agent
RUTH VAN DER MEER
PHONE JA 4-7874, Goderich
Agent For
WILFRID McINTEE
REALTOR . Walkerton
STILES AMBULANCE
Roomy --„cornfortable
--PHONE JA --4-1142—
ALEXANDER &
GENERAL INSURANCE
* AND REAL ESTATE
Bank of Commerce 13Idg.
Goderich. JA 49661
A, J. Alexander, Res.
C. F. CHAPMAN, Res.
JA 4-7415.
ROYAL CANADIAN LEGION _BRANCH 109
VIAAY MEMORIAL BANQUET
Commemorating 46th AnniverstiWof the Battle of Vimy Ridge, April 9, 1917
MANCE ERVICE-
- DAY OR- NIGHT
Prompt - Efficient
Experienced Drivers
TELEPHONE
JA 4-7401
1.4
•
THE WEST WAWANOSH
MUTUAL FIRE
INSURANCE CO.
Head Office, Dungannon
Established 1878
Preeident, 13row.n Smyth, Dun.
gannon; 'Vice -Pres., Heron le
Win, 13elgrave; Dire c tors, Paul
Phee, 34- Auburn; Denali
jOeLennan, 11. 3, Godend;
Allan MaellitYre, 117 fie Lucknoe
For information on your in.
surance,'call your nearest dine.
tor who is also an agent, or the
secretary, Frank F. Thompson,
Dungannon, phone Dungamen
48.
R. W. BELL
OPTOMETRIST -
F. T. ARMSTRbNG
Coniulting Optometrist
The Square JA 4-7661
HURON CO-OPERATIVi_,
•at Cost
REFRIduATION
APPLIANgE SERVICE
.All makes All types
GERRY'S ,APPLIANCES
59 Hamilton St.
"The Store That Service
(while space is available)
FOR REGISTERED GUESTS
IN DOWNTOWN
DET,ROIT
FAMILY RATES
way
Ha Charge for Children 12 and Under
In the center of all downtowd'activitiot. Nib*
iitotated. Ultra modern, comfortable giros(
rooms. Eccidenf toad at moderate prices lo
rmir modtarn coffee shop and cafeteria. "
Radio. Televition Room Available.
Air ConditIoneci rooms in'tterion.
tom
It's impossilge to hani a price tag on thii bottle 'oTblood. Fortunately,
in this country, no one ever does. Your Canadian Red Cross provides
whole blood and blood pr5ducts absointely free to almost 300,000
victims illness, accident and disaster every year. All that's eveY
asked is yoin- §upport. Your Red Cross' needs your help la help Jaye
lives. Give generously when the Volunteer Red Cross Canvasser calls
at your' door.
VOI,JR RED CROSS ERVES
HOOSEJ9-HOUSE *CANVASS
1,61 GODERICH
FACING GRANO CIRCUS PARK
MICHIGAN
moot Posen, gem Mgt.
LEGION HALL -WEDNESDAY, APRILAO
'TicketS available from 0i:embers of Executive or at Deriorritilel. Flower Shop
EVERY STEP OF THE WAY
Ben Chisholm
Esso Imperial Prodtects
20 Albert St, Goderich
Office -JA 44501
Clarke & Starke
Chartered Accountants
Trustee in BankrUptcy
Licensed Municipal Auditor
44 North Street. JA 4-8253
GODERICH, ONTARIO
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
President, Fordyce Clark, RR 5,
Kirkland, RR 3, Lucknow; Mrs.
0. G. Anderson, RR,5, Wingham;
Mrs. Lloyd Taylor, Exeter:
Thigh B. Smith, RR 2, Listbwel:
Lorne Rodges, RR 1, Goderich;
Bolton, RR 1, Seaforthe Bert
Irwin, RR 2, Seaforth; Bert
Klopp, Zurich; Gordon Richard-
son, RR 1, 13rincefield', Kenneth
Johns, RR 1, Woodharn.
Miss C. E -Plumtree
Assistant Secretary
For informAion, call your
-nearest tiirettor of ofir'office in
the Credit Union Bldg., 70 On.
tario Sfeeet, Clinton, Telephone
linter 2-9751.
er see your
co -III> representative
319 Huron St.,„Goderich Ont.
MOM, JA 4-7411
12-13
E C
3 'HAMILTON St. TELEPHOW
GODERICH, ONT. 4.7562