The Wingham Advance-Times, 1975-02-06, Page 20? 'ebi +ry 6, r975--
LAWANDA PAGE
'...I only caught fire once'
HOLLYWOOD HOTLINE
LaWanda tells
of fire dancing
By NANCY ANDERSON
HOLLYWOOD - LaWanda
Page, the hilarious Aunt
Esther of "Sanford and Son,"
was a dancer billed as "The
Bronze Goddess of Fire"
early in her show -business ca-
reer, having conceived her
dangerous act to help support
her mother.
"My mamma didn't know I
was dancing at all," LaWanda
confesses. "At least she didn't
know it for a long time be-
cause she used to go to. bed
early and I'd slip out and go to
the place where I worked.
"Yes, 'my fire dance was
dangerous, but I only caught
fire once, and that was when I
was just learning it.
"I was working in this club
in St. Louis as a little, of
shake dancer. They called it
shake dancing then. Now they
call them belly dancers.
"But anyway _I was working
at this dub for a Greek who
told me, 'You gotta change
your act if you want to stay
here.'
"So I told him, `I'm gonna
get me a fire act going.'
"All the girls in the dressing
ren told me, `Honey, you
don't know what you're say-
ing. You're going to get your-
self burned up.'
"But I've always had confi-{
dente that anything you put
your mind to, you can do. So I
went ahead -with it.
"The idea of a fire act had
come to me while I was sitting
in the dressing room one day
with a cigaret lighter that had
overfloWred onto my arm.
And, because the fluid had
overflowed, when I flicked the
lighter on, my hand caught
fire.
Saturday
February 8
is the
Final Day
of
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1ohj son MEN'8
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Stock Liquidation
SALE
last chance
to rs C! v e
1O-50%
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casual and work
clothing
at
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a
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323-2686
"And right away I got this
bright idea for a new act.
"So the next night after that
Greek told me to change my
act, as I came to work, I
stopped at the liquor store and
bought a great, big can of
lighter fluid and a tin pie pan.
"I poured the fluid in the
pan, and I lit it. At first I was
afraid to get too close to the
fluid, so I'd stand way back
and throw a lighted match at
it, but the match would miss
the pan and go out. And pretty
soon everybody was laughing`
at me. __
"So finally I lit the match
and walked right up to the pan
and set the fluid afire.
"The Greek started yelling,
'You gonna burn the place
down. You gonna . burn the
place down.'
"Well, a big pillar of smoke
was•coming from the pie pan,
and I didn't know what I was
supposed to do next, so I just,
danced around:
"Now this place Was on a
truck route, so a lot of truck
drivers stopped there, and one
of them began to yell at me, `I
dare you to put your hand in
the fire.
"I've never been one to take
a dare, sol put my hand in the
fire, and it burned. At that
time, you see, I didn't know
how to do this right.
"One guy said, `Light my
cigpret,' so I ran to his table
and lit it with my hand, never
letting on that I was hurting,
really burning. You see, I was
determined to master this,
because I had to keep My job
to take care of my Mamma.
"My hand was all charred,
but the next night I tried a fire
act again. Then, on the third
night, I tried a crawl, a kind of
Afro thing, over the pan of
fluid and let the fire burn
along my leg. Mid my cos-
tume caught on fire.
"With that, I ran for the
dressing roam, but the run-
ning stirred up air, and the
costume blazed. I burned my
bottom so I couldn't sit downs
"Finally I met" a female im-
personator who saw what I
was trying to do and helped
me.
"He said, `LaWanda; I know
what you are trying to do, and
I'm going to teach you to do it
right.'
"So he did, and I finally got
my fire dance perfected. If I
hadn't had that man to help
me and teach me how to han-
dle fire, I would have been
cremated by now."
LaWanda has known Redd
Fox: since they were school
children together in St. Louis,
and she gives him hill credit
for her success as Aunt
Esther in "Sanford and Son,"
aim he not only encouraged -
her to read for the part but
coached her in the role and
gave her confidence to play it.
Two spacecraft
to fly to Mars
WASHINGTON, D.C. -
Two spacecraft will be
launched on a 440million-mile
journey to Mars In the fall of
this year, arriving ,at the
planet in July, 1976.
NASA's Viking spacecraft
will conduct scientific studies
of Martian atmosphere and
surface, emphasizing the
search for extraterrestrial
life. CNS
Bill Smiley'
Now I'll point straight, Cliff
animummw
Came across a new party game
recently, and tho, ht you might
like to try it on your guests.
It all began with some friends
of ours who like to play with
words and create wild puns. They
had a bit of a problem and one
said to the other: "We seem to be
in dire straits."
'rhe other replied solemnly :
"Yes, Dire Straits separate
Tierra Del Freakout from the
Cape of Good Dope, I believe."
Or something like that. And
they were off. They tried it on
some of their friends, and the
result was a collection of puns
that even Shakespeare would
have blushed at.
All you need is a knowledge of
geographical terms and a total
inability to blush at the atrocious
puns you produce.
Some of your friends will un-
doubtedly try, if I know people, to
turn it into a pornographic geo-
graphic game. This is almost un-
avoidable, because there are a lot
of people with dirty minds, unlike
you and me.
These excrescences on the face
of our pure and bland society will
come up with filthies like Suna-
pha Beach, the State of Nympho-
mania in which we find a moun-
tain called' Mons Pubis and a
wood labelled Shewor Forest.
Pay no : attention to them. '
They'll suffer enough in the
next world for contriving such
BETTER ENGLISH
By D. C. Williams
What is wrong with each of
these sentences?
1. Upon arriving to the of-
fice, I found that both men
were not there.
2. He opened up the meeting
with a prayer, then pro-
ceeded on with the busi-
ness.
3. As he went to leave the
room, he slipped and fell
down.
4. Robert, who is going on
forty', is over six foot tall.
5. The latest applicant is de-
sirable of obtaining the
appointment.
6. From henceforth, I will
have no hopes of him
succeeding.
What are the correct pronun-
ciations of these words?
7. Acclimate.
8. Pretense.
9. Antipathy.
10. Chapeau.
11. Orgy.
12. Pousse-cafe (a drink).
Which six words in the follow-
ing group are misspelled?
13. Heritable, heredetary her-
mitage, hesitancy, heretic,
impugn, impugnity, im-
putation, impracticability,
immunity, - redundance,
vengeance, obeisance,
constancy, consistancy,
par phenalia, parenthe-
sis, Paradoxical, parvenu,
constitution, parachute, ir-
resolute, marchino, resus
citation, quadrate, qualifi-
cation, quaranteer,
quadrangle, quixotic.
ANSWERS
1. Say, "Upon arriving AT
the office, I found that
NEITHER MAN WAS
there." 2. Omit the words
"up" and "on." 3. Say,
"JUST AS he left the
room," and omit"down."
4. Say, "Robert, who is
APPROACHING forty, is
MORE THAN six FEET
tall." 5. Say, "is DESIR-
OUS of." 6. Omit "from,"
and say, "Henceforth, I
SHALL have no HOPE
of HIS succeeding.",
7. Preferred pronunciation 1s
a-klime-at, with accent on
SECOND syllable, not the
first. 8. Accent on second
syllable, preferred. 9. Pro-
nounce an-tip-a-thi, accent
second syllable. 10. Pro-
nounce sha-poe, accent se-
cond syllable. 11. Pro-
nounce or-ji, accent first
syllable. 12. Pronounce
poos-kah-fay, principal
accent on last syllable.
13. Hereditary, impunity,
consistency, parapherna-
lia, maraschino, quaran-
tine.
Accidents decline
as years advance
Of all major causes of dis-
ability among men, only ac-
cidental injuries declined with
advance in age.
At age 45-64 the incidence of
disability from this cause was
about two-thirds of that at
agen under 25.
monstrosities as Taka Peak, Itsa
Butte, Para Buttes and Maka
P ss. 011, they'd suffer.
is ut not as much as you'll suffer
when your guests get into the
swing of things, and start pro-
ducing such items as Melon
Coulee and Sherbet Shore.
Perhaps what you should do is
partition your guests into groups,
give each group a geographical
term, and see what happens.
Thus, you might say to one
group: "O.K., your topic is bays.
Let's hear some bays." So you
get such items as Hound -Dog
Bay, and Stagat Bay and Brought
To Bay.
To another group, you submit
streams, and they supply such
doozers as Uptha Creek, Niktha
Creek and Sleau Burn. If there's
an alcy in the crowd, he might
suggest Live R. At the basis of
this body of water is Font of Life,
and running off from the main
river are Minna Rills. In there
somewhere you will find Com-
pression Springs.
Don't go away, it gets worse. In
front of me I have a map, show-
ing this unusual world, drawn by
an excellent cartoonist who
became involved.
On that map is an island called
Nomanson Island (the poet
Donne), on which is a lighthouse
called Gotta Light and a cape
called Cape Waukin. All we need
is a Bullfighter's Cape.
Someone drew cities, so that on
the map we have Kreat Kappa
City and, in small print Lesser
Kappa City. In these cities may
be found such things as the Pubic
Library, Brut Al Copse (a small
wooded area,) and a narrow
street labelled Gunman's Mall.
On the map is a kingdom called
Kingdom of Kum (ruled by 'King
GUNS, AMMO,
REPAIRS AND
ACCESSORIES
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SPORTING GO
ODS
S350 Minnie St.
WINGHAM, ONT.
PROTECT YOUR INVESTMENT
Harriston 338-3422
FACTORY
OUTLET
In Their Original
OLD MILL
3_144r
IN9.
at the railway hack
IN BLYTH
WOOL and and LEATHER
PRODUCTS
BAINTON .LTD.
Blyth 523-9373
TRAILER
``RENTALS
R. 3 HWY. 86 E LISTOWEL
. Starcraft
. Jayco
. Prowler
. Glendale
Open 6 days, closed Wed.
satisfaction
ales •
ervice
3 miles east of Listowel on
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ARCTIC CAT
Nothing runs like o cat
P
LAWN it SPORTS
EQUIPMENT
LISTOWEL 291.2441
Licensed Mechanic
"We Service What We Sell"
Klimact Eric) and above that is a
smaller adjunct called Higher In
Kum, and below It another called
Lower In Kum. -
Just off the State of Nympho-
mania lies Kumin Sea, in which
are found a Fast Eddy and a
Currelnt of Ents.
Then there are the great blank
spaces on the map. One is etltitled
Ara Plain, and the other Just
Deserts.
And there are hills and moun-
tains. We have Kitchen Range,
Ovatha Hill and Duty Cols.
Nor is mining left out. There is
an ancient mine, begun by the
Incas, called Old Pala Mine.
Another, Owtafya Mine.
There are huge forests dubbed
I Never Wood, and Yew Wood,
and She Wood, and Hee Wood,
and of course,'the biggest of all,
Y'all Wood.
There are points, succinctly
titled Getthe Point and Point A
Forder.
There are dangerous, dirty
great rocks looming just, off Dire
Straits. They are fearsome to
sailors, and no wonder. They are
known as Acid Rock and Country
Rock.
There are a couple of sounds,
one called Mersey Sound, another.
Safen Sound.
There are a couple of depres-
sions,
epressions, or faults, in the map. One
of these is Kronic Depression, the
other is Itzer Fault.
There are elevated coast lines.
These are dubbed Base Cliffs,
Treble Cliffs, and the High Coast
of Living.
Got the idea? Try it out. I
guarantee you'll be ill in twenty
minutes. But don't let them pawn
off on you such junk as Genera-
tion Gap, Parr Gulf, and Cape
Porn. -
For Sale -
NEW FARM BUILDINGS. If you
need a new barn, drive shed, an
addition or just a new roof, c
us. Trust our experience of over
40 years. J. & H. Fleming Limit-
ed, Hanover, phone 364-1880.
E2
CHINCHILLA - Join a growing
industry; ra4se chinchilla for fun
and profit. Contact Mrs. A.
Cullen, RR 2, Listowel. Phone
291-1709.
GLENDALE MOBILE HOMES
and Travel Trailers for sale; also
large fully serviced and land-
scaped mobile home lots for rent.
First sideroad west of Stratford
on Highway 8, 1/2 mile north. Cry-
stal Lake Mobile Homes Court
Ltd., RR 5, Stratford. Phone 393-
6121. tf
Notice
ATTENTION SKIERS
Minto Glen open this season
Saturday, Sunday and school
holidays 10:30 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Flood lit for.. night skiing Satur-
days 7:30 to 10:30 p.m. New lodge
facilities, rentals and run. Down-
hill and cross-country skiing,
snowmobiling and tobogganing.
Special rates on season's tickets
for families or clubs. MINTO
GLEN SKI CLUB, HARRISTON,
Dial 338-2007 or 338-2722.
rrm
Frendi present
to Visit Boston is
BOSTON -- French Prebl�
dent Valery Giscard d'Es-
taing has accepted an invita-
tion to visit the United. States
in 1976 for the Bicentennial as
guest of tete city of Boston.
Adm. Jean -Baptiste, Comte
d'Estaing, a forebear of the
French president, com-
manded the French fleet
which in 1779 was sent to help
the CalONStilt Nat 111
land r and
to *R Y
gage the �t* fleet standing
by ander Lord Howe, Own Q
fered severe diffigkge in a
storm and when he put ashore
to rat, French saw were
roughed up by angry Bodoni..
ans.
CAPITOL BURNED
The first Capitol bung in
Washington burned Jan. 14,
1801.
ALL
BURNED
UP!
WE ALL WANT TO HEAR
ABOUT IT!
WRITE A LETTER TO THE EDITOR
. Letters must be signed
.Should be 250 words Or less
. Can be written on any subject
.Must not be slanderous or
defamatory
ry
Service Dircfo-ry
Over 30,000 readers
every week
MAGNETIC
SIGNS
,For Cars, Trucks,
Offices, Mailboxes
Eliminates costly lettering
Removable whenbding
or painting
LISTOWEL BANNER
MOUNT FOREST
CONFEDERATE
WINGHAM
ADVANCE -TIMES
gape/jet. > n(
.
24 '• T g u E i.cm''
RGAf_sEc,Ifa.1;A:ES r- SERvICE
��.323.15130 323-2043
258 STREET • MOU++T t CREST ONTARIC
and
eleeaJk rAsim
TIRE CENTRE
Josephine St. WINGHAM
Ph. 357-3733
Are your best bet!
•
Box 709, Durham
PHONE 369-3203
BUY USED MATERIALS
BATHROOM FIXTURES
DOORS - WINDOWS
LUMBER, ETC.
Drayton
WELDING AND
MACHINE SHOP
FARM
EQUIPMENT
Sales and Service
Portablb Welding
Equipment
Custom
Machine\Work
Stabling
DRAYTON
Res. 638 -3008 -Shop 638-2295
POWER LAWN
MOWER CENTRE
Sales and expert
repairs to all small
engines
STEVE MEW
HARRISTON
Bus. 338-3616
Res. 338-2717
INCOME TAX
PREPARED
- Farmers
- Businessmen
- Individuals
Reasonable Rates
CALL NOW
Monkton anytime
347.2241
Brussels Tues. and Fri.
887-6663
Ronnenberg
Insurance Agency
`Avoid the Rash
HADCO
Well Drilling &
Digging Ltd.
Rotary Drilled Wells
Machine Dug Shallow Wells
Sulphur Free Wells
Deepening & Repairing
Caisson`s-Earthboring
Elevator Shafts
A WELL A DAY THE H4iDCO WAY
Auger Rental Equipment
For Any Job
ELMIRA 669-3761
ST. MARYS 2544702
HARRISTON
PACKING CO.
Give us a call
for
MEAT FOR YOUR FREEZER
-hogs by the half and whole
-beef by the side and quarter
CUSTOM KILLING TO
YOUR NEEDS
hogs - Tues.
beef - Thurs.
338-3330
.5 -
Sell Your
ANTIQUE
with a
CROWD
. STOPPER
CROSSROADS
WAND AD
GALL
157-2320
211-1'110
323-1559
Commodore
Canada
When you buy
Lakehurst Mobile Home
you "get what you ask for"
Also
See Don for all leisure
time trailers
DON McPHAIL MOTORS
338-3422 Harriston
W. D. `BILL' MAY
STATE FARM
INSURANCE-
Auto-
Life- Fire411,
II/ATI /AIM
IN11YII ANC I
•
WINGHAM
3S7 -3Y80
•
TRIAN
Distr
LE TIRE
rs Ltd.
W olesvle
and.
Retail
PASSENGER • FARM
TRUCK
On the form service
Phone 291-2521
LISTOWEL
AI's C�llision
Service
Phone
357-2206
Conc. 2, Morris Twp.
Repair and Refinishing
Enamel and Laquer
Rust Repair
Frame & Body Work
ON CARS 8 TRUCKS
If Repairable We Do It