The Wingham Advance-Times, 1974-12-23, Page 15Crossroa
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DAVID VINT: '1 don't know how old you are — yet.'
Feature
by
Steve Yormak
MICHAEL MCLENNAN
'Two seconds to come from
the North Pole.'
ROBERT MORLEY CHET HYMERS JEFF HIEMSTRA.
'Santa plays- for. champion,.. 'Santa's. eight .reindeer fly 'A little guitar for a little -
ship hockey club.' through their feet.' sized boy.' -
A kindergarten views Santa
This may be the last year Santa
Claus comes to town.
It's possible he'll leave all this
gift -giving behind and trade his
familiar red cap in for a goal-
keeper's mask, playing for the
world champion North Pole
hockey club.
Of course he may have a tough
time statistics -wise, what with
eing in at only 60 pounds and
.the ripe old age of 160.
Then again, the rugged travel-
ling schedule means little to
Santa and his elf teammates,
since everyone knows Rudolph
and the otherM"reindeer fly—with
wings :and feathers. After all,
coming down to Listowel from
the North Pole only takes two sec-
onds. -
If this description of Santa and
his helpers doesn't ring a
familiar chord, it's -probably be-
cause you weren't born in the last
five years. As a matter of fact,
anyone who has children today
would have a difficult time recog-
nizing that jolly old fellow who we
thought gave presents to all, the
children by going up and down
the chimney.
No longer. It seems that Santa
joined a union and through a no -
cut, fringe benefit contract is no
longer required to come through
chimneys—back doors are now
in.
Kids are still leaving cookies
and milk for Santa although there
is the odd youngster who thinks
Santa might need something a
little stronger.
MURRAY GILKINSON
'Santa comes here, nobody
goes to the North Pole.'
With the advent of ' Saturday
morning' television, traditional
toys like trains are a thing of the
past. Today kids know exactly
what they want, say, a Shaker -
Maker, Smash-up Derby, or
Easy -Bake Oven.
Some things never change.
Kids accept, as we did, that
Santa knows everything—wheth-
er you've . been `.`naughty or
nice". They accept that r13,4
comes from the North. Pole and
arrives with his reindeer, ho-ho-
ho-ing through the sky.
Kids are still awed by the tiuge,
jolly old red figure Santa cuts as
he hops from one place to an-
other, pausing just long enough to
ask all the children in .the world
what they would like for Christ-
mas.
No doubbout it—at five years
old, kids' ow that there is a
Santa who knows them all per-
sonally.
Even the most precocious
five-year-old displays what Santa
usually refers to as "wet -knee
syndrome"—otherwise known as
limited bladder control while sit-
ting on Santa's knee. So while the
kids will push fiercely ahead to
see that lovable old man, they
push just as hard to make their
getaway once they've told Santa
what they want.
SMALL TALK
Santa Claus made an unan-
nounced appearance last week at
the Eastdale Public School kin-
dergarten class in Listowel.
The 23 five -year-olds became
so excited at the sight of the jolly
old fat man in red that they al*
most couldn't speak -almost.
-CHIMNEYS OUT
Santa; Do you have a chimney
in your house?
Wayne: No.
Santa: Then, how am I going.to
get into your house to give you
your present?
Wayne: (... ith an air of
c. . �
fifif a11�
knows that) Tl`ie oo- y p
r f course.
Santa: Which one, your front or
your back?
Wayne: My back.
GUESS
Santa: Did you know that only
Santa's reindeer fly?
Joanne: Yes.
Santa: How did you know that?
Joanne: I just had a guess.
Santa: How much do you think
Santa weighs?
Joanne: Fifty.
Santa: How much do you
weigh?
Joanne: Thr*r-four.
MOST I4 GOOD
Santa Have you been a good
boy all year?
Murray: Yes, mostly.
Santa: How do you think the
reindeer fly?
Murray: They eat lots of food
and they go in the field.
Santa: How do you know so
much about the reindeer? I've
never seen you there at my
house.
Murray: I know, people don't
go up there.
Santa: Why's that?
Murray: I don't want you to see
me. You're too tricky. I don't
know where you're going. in
Santa: What does my house
look like at the North Pole?
Murray: They build it with
bricks.
LITTLE GIFT
Santa: Do you want as big or
little guitar for Christmas?
Jeff: A little one for a little-
hAx:
FLYING FEET
Santa: How do you figure the
reindeer fly?
Chet: Through their feet.
WINGING IT
Santa: How do you think my
reindeer fly?
Richard: Feathers.
Santa: Wings like birds?
Richard: Yes.
Santa: How old do you think I
am?
Richard: Sixty -hundred.
Santa: And how much do you
think I weigh?
Richard: Seven -hundred
pounds.
LIGHTNING FAST
Santa: How long do you think it
took me. today to get down from •
the North Pole?
Michael: Two seconds.
SUPERMAN?
Santa: How fast do' you think
the reindeer fly?
Kim: Faster than a car.
Santa: Faster than a plane?
Kim: Yes.
Santa: What do you think those
people on the planes think when
they see me?
SANTA BOUNCES THROUGH KINDERGARTEN CLASS AS 23 CHILDREN SIT WIDE-EYED AND OPEN-MOUTHED.
Kim: They probably want 4 go
with you.
Santa: What do I say to the
reindeer when -I want them to go
faster?
Kim: Giddy -up.
IT'S A 60AL:
Santa: Do you think weplay
hockey in the North Pole?
Robert: Yup.
Santa: What position do you
think Santa plays?
Robert: Goal.
Santa: Do you think Santa is
better than Ken Dryden?
Robert: I don't know about
that.
Santa: Do you think our North
Pole team with the elves can beat
the Canadian team?
Robert: Yup.
Santa: The Russian team?
Robert: Yup.
MAGIC
Santa: How do you think the
reindeer fly?
Robert: It's magic.
Santa: What does Santa say to
make them fly?
Robert: Hiya.
NOT YET
Santa: How do you think the
RICHARD MALLORY: 'Santa
reindeeeerr fly? ,
David: t don't know, Yet, ,
Santa: How old do you 'think;
Santa is?
David: About 160.
Santa: And how much does
Santa weigh? -
David: About four. •
Santa: Do' you think it took
Santa all day to come from the
North Pole?
David: Probably.
WHAT IT'S ABOUT
to
Listening to f ive_ year-olds;' Saute the �owad'
find out .a�_..�
child's pPesrtitre on
Christmas.
But the best way to learn is to
be a Santa.
This writer was Santa—at least
for an afternoon.
The five-year-old thinks he'll
discover how the reindeer fly
when he gets older: But his sixth
birthday comes—maybe his
seventh or eighth—and an older
brother or playmate has already
blurted out those hateful words,
"There is no Santa Claus!" \
So the dream of the kindly old
gent with the cherub cheeks and
long white beard is hauled up to
the attic and placed right next to
the long -forgotten and weary
teddy bear received on the first
Christmas.
's rrein+er have ,feather.''
We tory to Put th awel
Buta t'�s,;Cde coasedhristm►e aund` the
ai
white b ankett of snow, inti
vy t
world se& all its. inhabitants ;a
certain settled feeling pf good
dill.
. to night is still ,and the skies
are clear with the fr sh'smell �of
an invigorating winter tt, The
bed' is warm and Qir t#gao.
Dmorning can't come soon.
rifting 'away to ..a world of
dreams ,ouhear;afamiliar �` .
ms to bac ing
roof. Jumping out of bed;and to
the window you arrive• just in
time to catch an unsure glimpse
of—yes—what looks just like a
sleigh and a bright flash of red
over the chimney.
It can't be.
Back to that comfortable bed
and chalk it up to a dream.
But yet --it's as clear as a bell
and clearly 100 bells—.jingling in
the brisk night
Listening carefully even
through adult ears,- it's =mis—
takable—
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL
AND PEACE UN EARTH!.
HO! HO! HO!
KIM M E H R I NG: 'Santa and his reindeer fly faster than a car or a plane. And to make
them go even faster Santa says, 'Giddy -up'.'