The Wingham Advance-Times, 1974-11-21, Page 17WATEI WELL Oil NG
ILY DAVID
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MOBILIFE CENTRE
4166 KING ST. E. R.R. 3, KITCHENER
No. 8 Hwy. between Hwy. 401 and Kitchener 653-5788
MU CANAL
First of tin U.S. nuorallida
wilivrwars, U Erie
officially opened ori.'
c
gill Smiley
Don't Send up
Smoke
$ viols
Place an ad in
Crossroad.S
for
HEAP BIG
RESULTS
ONE AD IN CROSSROADS
COVERS THE CIRCULATION
AREA OF
THE
LISTOWEL BANNER
WINGHAM
ADVANCE -TIMES
and
MOUNT FOREST
CONFEDERATE
A bits.d fes, ons*. est
item shows a maliekof d in
"catching sow out" as t
phrase ,goes. It is one ,of to Pass
plant aspects of the man
character, but at the sue* tjflie
has given. ;R :g,,
of
pleasure, over the ,
the human race.
Theeare. ,ia nothing people eltdOY
more than somebody else's feet
of clay. How we all secretly re-
joice, if not openly, awn a cabi-
net minister is caught With a
blonde who is not his wife, a
prominent jud8e is nailed on an
impaired driving charge, or a
teacher is discovered nul't ing
marijuana in his -her www
boxes.
Disgusting, and definitely not
Christian, but it's fun. I've been a
victim myself. Sent . out a
questionnaire to elementary
school teachers of English 'lest
year. There was one spelli. g
error in it, and I didn't do it, a
secretary did. But about 50 per
cent of ,the questionnaires 're-
turned had the mistake circled,
and some gleeful little remark
attached.
Now, it's my turn. I have before
me a list of novels and plays Gent
out by the Educational Com-
munications Authority, a fairly
Service Dfr�ct
ZIP ELECTRIC
LET US UPDATE YOUR
PRESENT ELECTRICAL
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Phone
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i
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-loans arranged
- representative for
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Monkton anytime
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In Their Original
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Give us a call
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. -hogs by the half and whole
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hogs - Tues.
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OUR
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Phone 356-2802
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FREE PICK-UP
CALL 356-2257
Out of Town Call
ZENITH 70650
sacred cow with the Ministry of
Education.
The Authority wants .
department'
heads to tick off a list
of the books most used by stu-
dents.
in our high. schools, wig a
view to buying the movi $ghta to
the 20 most popular,so that lbs ,
can be video-taped and made
available on a wide basis. Maud,
able pian.
It was when I started to scan
the list Haat f thought it must be
put-on. I rechecked the ac-
companying letter. No, it was
real, it was .official.
I looked over the last, a; fairly
comprehensive one of most of the
literature used in Or Nigh school,
and started ticking off the ob-
vious ones; Macbeth, Hamlet,
Romeo and Juliet, Death of a
Salesman, Huck Finn, The. Great
Gatsby. Everything, in order.
Then I turned to Page 2 of the
list and nearly fell off my chair. I.
came to two conclusions. Either
the chap who had dictated the list
had failed to proof-read it, or the
secretary who had finished Page
1 and gone out and had a large
liquid lunch before tackling Page
2.
Dori Quixote came out as Don
uuiote. This must be an animal
story about a coyote called Don.
r
R.R. t 3
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338-3422 Harriston
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W of es Ie
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PASSENGER - FARM
TRUCK
On the farm service
Phone 291 2521
LISTOWEL
PLAN YOUR
MOTORING
FUTURE NOWI
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COMPLETE
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HOUGHTON
.411,110011N,
'110011M.
517 1 1 th Ave.,
Hanover
41 11 Les at 364-2832lA
' MUST TO PREVENT
RUST"
Ely Broom must be twirling 14
her 1piaVOen the moon,teal* her
nuittlateent Wuthering rrrH5
Witheringdeecribed as r�� ,
Thomas Hardy will be having a
s .es
seizure Wbe reaps
thtat Ms great Teas the
irlrbervilles has a new title:
Tse. •of the D'Umbery es.
D'Umber.:tla n what?
Myatt*, A s!�fiction ,. The
, a new life as' he'
Ct>ari. The Luck
of G r
Coffey has ,been transformed
Lack of Ginger Coffey. Probably
eine sort of rationing.
A fines western novel, The Ox
Bow Incident, bas changed
shape. It is now the Ox Boxfnci-
dent, a rather square tittle, if I
may .say sok
A Grade a standard, To KW a
Mockingbird, has become To Kill
a ocking Bird, Can't you. see
that bird, just sitting around
mocking the old lady who owns
it?
But perhaps thegreatest blow
to Canadian literature and
certainly the one that nearly bust
a gutin a number of English
teachers, was theupdating of
that fine, oid.vel about French
Canada, Maria Chapdelaine. It is
now called Marve Chapdelaine.
That is an obvious backlash by
some male chauvinist pig to the
entire Women's Lib movement.
But I'd certainly like to read the
new version. I can just see Marve
up there, in the Quebec back-
woods; bringing in the kindling,
worrying about wolves, and
having babies under primitive
conditions. Poor Marve, It was
OK for Marie. She had guts. But
Marve doesn't sound as though he
could hack it, with: a name like
that. I imagine he'll die in child-
birth, or -be eaten alive by mos-
quitoes, or drop a pot of scalding
soupe aux pots on his foot, or
something like that.
Nov I know this entire column
is completely unfair' to the poor
guy who made up the list. But I
got' so much pleasure from it,
purely malicious pleasure, that I
couldn't refrain from passing it
on.
And the sheer joy of it is that it
comes from an Educational Au-
thority. In capitals, It would be no
fun at all if it came from. an illi-
terate bookseller.
It's interesting to learn that
your neighbor is going to have a
baby, after 15 years of sterility,
or that your Uncle George had an
affair in Singapore when he was
in the merchant navy, and before
he became a church elder.
But it's sheer glee when you
discover that someone away
above ' you in the hierarchy has
committed a monstrous boo-boo,_
We all have clay feet, but most
of us keep our shoes tightly laced,
or at least our socks on.
1 Who coined the expression.
"Iron Curtain"?
2. What popular game of today
is an outgrowth of an old
game called "whist"?
3. What event in U.S. history
was labeled "a day which
will live in infamy"?
4. What country has the great-
est number of daily news-
papers?
S. By what other three names
is a mountain lion .called?
8. Where is North America's
only► diamond mine?
7. What immortal poem begins
"Once upon a midnight
dreary, while 1 pondered,
weak and weary ..."?
8. What verse in the Bible's
New Testament consists
of but two words?
9. What has been the "most
exhibited" animal in the
world?
10. What four U.S. officers
were in 1944 the first to
wear the five-star insignia
of Generals of the Army?
11. What, musically speaking.
is a "quaver",
12. How much time does -.the
average adult person con-
sume in reading his daily
newspaper/
ANSWERS
1. Winston Churchill (1874-
1965).2. Contract bridge. 3.The
Japanese attack on Pearl Har-
bor, lit(wati, December 7, 1941.
4. The U.S.S.R., with 7,967
at latest count. 5. Cougar, pan-
ther, and puma. 8. Near Mur-
freesboro, Arkansas. 7. "The
Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe
(1809.49). 8. Joint 11:35, con-
sisting of the words, "Jesus
wept." 9. The elephant. 10.
Generals Henry "Hap" Arnold,
Dwight D. Eisenhower, Douglas
MacArthur. and George C. Mar-
shall. 11. An eighth -note. 12.
About thirty-seven minutes.
THE HOLE TOOTH
The Natural History Muse-
um in Nottingham, England,
has a new display - an Ice
Age mammoth's tooth, 91
inches long, weighing about
eight pounds, which was
found, nearby by gravel
quarry workers.
You Are The Detective
You have been working with the
police on the activities of a gang
of hoodlums that has been
terrorizing the 'city for some
time, getting away with a good
number of robberies and
m gam. It has been deter,
mined that the gang comprises
four men- Ozzie Mullen, Doc
Chapmn,, Rory Sullivan,.and
Rank Keller.
Just a few days ago, the‘police
';succeeded: in ,pin-pobatil g, the
gang's hideout, but. ,one ,ofthe
detectives,James, nobly
attempted to d it on his own,
and was shot and killed by of
the hoodlums,
You are now seated at your
desk sifting through the informa-
tion: you've inanagedtito collect on
the gang. The items shape up this
way: .
(t) The leader of the tang at
onetime played bit roleS on the
stage and in TV:dramas. (2) Rory
Sullivan, 'about three! weeks .ago,.
broached a private scheme for a
confidence racket to the gang
leader, but the latter gave him a
flat refusal, (3) Hank Keller bas
two good-looking sisters, one a
nightclub singer and the other a
fashion model, and the gang
leader and Doc Chapman have
recently been seen squiring these
two girls around town. "(4) The
erstwhile actor and the detec-
tive's killer have been close pals
for a number of years, Gild before
they began operations in this city
band collaborated in
deals ti a town SOO miles f
here. ►) Polio**+;..� l....!}!
latest sucOO ,
t e local mead
PaYro4 Bank
thewkiller ated`on the
greater pert of the loot, Ali the
grounds that they h
of the planning ansftaken.m oat el
the risks on :the job. ft'was ,dwi
the resultant argument b ► the
other members'of the ; that
Detective Harry Ames
his ill-fated man raid,
informaafter weighingtion,
nformation, c* you
Idller of the detective?
• SOLUTION
**19f04 MP ss
004:1 4044101 "PRA P 111 -
(s) srs otn loss! isenom pori ‘,(tr
Poet a?
:(p). -PRA all len lit s
al,ZZO 'p
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GIANT 25s'1
full VHF, :UI
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Copy for Crossroads Ciassi-
l' Tieds must be recetve4 b p,m„
' Wednesday of week prior to pub-
lication.
For Sale
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SALES -- SERVICE
White, Elna, Arrow
Universal, Bernina, Omega
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805, 10th St., Hanover,
Phone 364-3606.
N29
GLENDALE MOBILE HOMES
and Travel Trailers for sale; also
large fully serviced and land-
scaped mobile home lots for rent.
First sideroad west of Stratford
on Highway 8, 1/2 mile north. Cry-
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6121. tf
NEW FARM BUILDINGS. If you
need a new barn, drive shed, an
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us. Trust our experience of over
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OPEN 9A.M. -9P.M.
OUT Of TOWN
CALL COLLECT
271-6821
HELP WANTED
Woodworkers
Good opportunities available immed-
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* ROUGH MILL
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* ASSEMBLY DEPARTMENT
* SANDING DEPARTMENT
We offer full time employment with top
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ROXTON FURNITURE LTD.
17 Erb St., Elmira, Ont.
Phone 669-5181