The Wingham Advance-Times, 1974-08-29, Page 18•
13111 SflUi1
About my wife and Coca -bola
Ihave a number of things to be
of this week, and the
*t is my wife.
Don't Worry, I'm not going to
put her in the basement and
cover her with . fresh cement.
`hat's oldfashioned, and you
Wally lly get caught.
I'M going to put her in the attic,
with gag in her mouth, rolled up
in a piece of that roofing that will
be left over after our shingling
job, which she ordered.
Now, I've nothing against
women; particularly, though I
have generally, and nothing
against roofers at all, though they
charge too much and get you
involved in all sorts of side issues
like louvres and insulation and
squirrels.
I know what a squirrel is, and
I've a vague idea about in-
sulation, but I haven't a clue
about louvres. I thought it was
some kind of an art gallery in
Paris, but it , turns out to be a
couple of holes up around the roof
so the air can circulate.
It's not that my wife has an
extra big mouth for a woman, but
every time she opens it, it costs
me money. I had a perfectly
straightforward deal with a
roofer to put on a roof. That's
what roofers are for, besides
taking . them off.
Admittedly, not many people
call up a roofer and say, 'I'd like
my roof taken off." But, as a rule,
they take off the old one before
they put on the new one. OK?
That's when the Old Battleaxe
opened her mouth. "What about
the ipsulation?" She wouldn't
know an insulae i • if it bit her on
the kneecap, • 1 t she has this
subconscious desire' to be an
engineer.
The roofer is a fine fellow, but
he wasn't going to argue with a
lady. He agreed that you can't
have too much insulation. Then
he said, "I guess you'd want a
couple of louvres?" I just nodded,
numbly. A couple of art
museums? Fine. Might as well go
for the works.
There. I've disposed of my
wife, and I feel better already.
The blood is beginning to recede
from my head and go back to • its
normal channels.
But I have a few other people to
dispose of, so let's get on with it.
How about Coca-Cola? I can feel
the blood mounting again.
Perhaps it's, a mistake taking
on both my wife and Coca-Cola in
the same column. They are both
undisposable, if not .undis-
pensible. But my wife is much
more formidable.
Anyway. There is this fellow,
Donald Burwash, who . works for
Coca-Cola Ltd. He is a pouncer.
Not a bouncer, which • we don't
need when we're dealing with soft
Crossroads
Classifieds
Help Wanted
SURVEYOR'S HELPER to work
in field. Full-time employment.
Phone 323-2451.
•
Coming Events
Copy for Crossroads Classi-
fieds must be received by 6 p.m.,,
Wednesday of week prior to pub-
lication.
Work Wanted
CUSTOM COMBINING phone
° 323-2191.. 29-5
HANK SNOW
Rock Hill Park (16 miles north
of Orangeville) presents from
Nashville, Tennesee,
HANK SNOW
and the Rainbow Ranch Boys
on Sunday, September 1, at 2:00
p.m. and 7:30 p.m. AIso House
Band — Bob Betteridge and the
Country Classics. Adults $4.00,
children 12 years and under free.
Make this last long weekend a
musical camp -out. Camping $3.50
per car, per night. Trailer
hook-ups..
Contact J. Elwood Hill
RR 4, Shelburne
Phone (519) 925-2211
22-29
RECREATION
GLENDALE MOBILE HOMES
and Travel Trailers for sale; also
large fully serviced and land-
scaped mobile home lots for rent.
First sideroad west of Stratford
on Highway 8, 1,2 mile north.
Crystal Lake Mobile Homes,
Court Ltd., RR 5, Stratford.
Phone 393-6121. . tf
TRAVEL TRAILER on serviced
site at Port Severn. 20 -ft. 1974
Prowler purchsed new in May,
sleeps six. 9 x 12 awning with
screened wooden platform, gas -
electric fridge, 12 -volt system or
hydro, shower, miter heater.
Available -immediately, site paid
until Thanksgiving, with boat
e docking privileges. Apply Jewell
Trailer Sales, Highway 86, 3
miles E. of Listowel, phone
291-1158.
. For:Safe.,
NEW HONEY. Now filling
customer's containers. J. R. Fear
Apiaries, RR 2, Wingham, 357-
3656.
USED Wisconsin motors; 127 In-
ternational Harvester self-pro-
pelled combine with pickup; used
swather; a few mini -bikes; some
used outboard motors; one used
pressure washer; Bolens and
Toro machinery. Talk to STEVE
NEW at Power Lawn Mower
Centre, across from Harriston
Drive -In, or phone 338-3616.
22-29
LARGE QUANTITY of used
store grills and fryers, large
quantity of USED CHAIRS $2 and
up, large quantif,► of overseas
boxes $1 each. For any chair
anywhere we are the folks to see.
DURHAM CHAIR north end of
town across from the water
tower. 22-29
GARNET, GRETCH, FENDER,
HOHNER, OVATION instru-
ments and equipment, electric
pianos and organs, stereo compo-
nents. Adla.m Music Sales,
Durham 369-2456. '
QUALITY, SELECTION,
PRICE & ADVICE.
TN
i
WAREHOUSE SALE
.New Furniture Bargains
"ESQUIRE" Cash & Carry
Hwy. 4, 1 mile west of
HANOVER
rannoinn
TIRE
cnnnolnn TIRE
LISTOWEL
Has the following career
opportunities hi its ultra -modern
5 -bay service centre
1- SERVICE CENTRE MANAGER
2 - LICENCED MECHANIC
,. t
APPLY IN PERSON
11 95 WALLACE AVE. N.
TELEPHOO E- 91-1960
drinks, but a pouncer.
Whenever he sees the word
Coke written with a small "c", he
pounces. He doesn't get
hysterical, but he does get a bit
stuffy.
He pounced on a column of
mine recently in which the
sacrilegious word was used twice
with a small "c". Two of the
more than 100 papers, using the
column sent me along his hurt
letter of protest. Hi, Harry Stemp
of the Lake Simcoe Advocate,
and Hi, Mrs. Brebner of the
Meaford Express.
I hope old Burwash didn't write
the same letter to all the other
editors. Knowing weekly editors,
I'm sure, if he did, that most of
the letters wound up in the trash -
can.
I won't bore you with brother
Burwash's whole letter, which
was almost identical in both
cases (sorry, Donald), because it
is a very boring letter. But here's
a sample:
"Coke" distinguishes id
identifies only the productof this
Company (large "c") and .
must of necessity be diligent -yin
safeguarding it against improper;
use lest inadvertently, it losesits
distinctiveness and signiffi-
cane."
How about that? " Of
necessity"? "Diligent ' in . safe.
guarding"? "Inadvertently"?
That language is straight out of a
novel by Dickens. ,
And do you think the word
"Coke" is distinctive and
significant? Lest you should,
inadvertently, think otherwise,
pray do not be deceived by 'the
obtuse ramifications of • the
unholy, and insidious media,
How's that? I can write that stuff
myself.
Oh, well, Burwash old boy, it
takes all kinds. But you're getting
there, kid. On June 12, you were
Assistant Secretiqr at Coca.
One J n.21, you wereB I>r1ry.
It
met be that magniticen
Churehillii ,pa style,
In the meantime, le it all right
if I bat% a Uttle Cake in my.
fireplace? Or Should I cool
off and have a Fes?
ANCIENT FOOD F8
The first knoira goverw
meet .i,
food prices
took place in the year ;RLQ
B.C. in Egypt
101rr wolf b'.
It
" %WWI WAS hunts(' 3by
Korea armed termer* atter
it attacked two cls neer
Orense in. northwest
0 14. the chile► tt
menthiold Jose Mitrtil*; died
of injurleasustainedis UN ate
tack.
ELP WANTED
oo wor ers
Good opportunities available immed-
iately in the following departments.
*ROUGH MILL
*MACHINE ROOM
*ASSEMBLY DEPARTMENT
*SANDING DEPAi TMENT
We offer full time employment with top
wages and good fringe benefits.
Apply in person to
ROXTON FURNITURE LTD.
17 Erb St. Elmira, Ont.
Phone 669-5181
LR
Hanover Kitchens
Canada
require help for a night ihift in ,va, iaus de*
partrnents. Starting rate 0,01 to $3,24 gov*
erned by a perience...
EXCELLENT fringe benefits, pension pion and
working conditions.
On the job TRAINING provided when neces-
sary. '
For a friendly interview contact by applying.
in person or calling
Hanover Kitchens Canada Ltd.
711 10th Ave., Hanover, Ontario
Phone 36.4.1170
Walkerton 881.0984
Across from the
Brewers' Retail Outlet
BARBER'S
ro
Upholstery & Carpet
Sales & Installations
AUTHORIZED.
.Harding
.Celanese
.Bigelow
Armstrong
DEALER
253 Main St. Mount Forist''
Res. 323-1294
Bus. 323.1470
INSURANCE
auto 'fire Iife'
liability
-income x prepared
-loans rr nged
-represent ive for
seven trus companies
Reasonable Rates
\CALL NOW
Monition anytime
347-2241
Brussels Tues. and Fri.
887-6663
Ronnenberg
Insurance Agency
Hanover
Monuments
See Our Display At:
490. 1001 Ave., Hanover
Robert Foremai1, Manager
364-2450
Floyd A. Allard
Reis. 364-3704
"INFORMATION
WITHOUT OBLIGATION"
TRIAN LE TIRE
Distr
ut
rs Ltd.
W oles
and
Retail
11
le
PASSENGER FARM
TRUCK
On the farm service
Phone 291 2521
LISTOWEL
Servile Drectory
Over 3D,000 readers weekly
HURON DEAD STOCK
REMOVAL, CLINTON
We are now paying $5-$15
for fresh dead or disabled
cows and horses over. 500
lbs. Two tricks to serve
you better. Fast efficient
service. All small farm
stock picked up free, of
charge as a service to you.
License No." 237-C-7
Call us first, Lyou won't
have.: to..ca1l, anyRue else..
24-HourSetvice . : E
7 Days a Week
CALL COLLECT 482-9811
LDon . MtPhail. Motors
TECT YOUR INVESTMENT
iston . 338-3422
,omen FACTORY
�-�► OUTLET
In Their Original
OLD ;MILL
.• N tkp of w.y tnek
IN BLYTH
WOOL and LEANER -
PRODUETS
GUNS, AMMO,
REPAIRS AND
ACCESSORIES
ABC
SPORTING GOODS
350 Minnie St.
WINGHAM, ONT.
TNR n.
R'Yp_ FGrSF ,p FS f_ SERviCF24
`� J
".", 323-I58O 323-2043
15H Mt, N TAFF t • 1,1",,ji,T ; ,uFST ON TAP;(.;
and
eaik li
TIRE CENTRE NKr
Josephine St. WINGHAM
Ph. 357-3733
Are your best bet!
W
OUR
Pilate, 356.2802
A.H. BOWMAN
MFG. LTD.
METAL FABRICATING
ATWOOD -ONTARIO
Also
Metered Concrete
Mobile Service
attic
i Al ii'rbN LTD:
Blyth 523-9373
TRAILER
LSALE&.
SRENTALS
R.R. r 3 HWY. d6 E LISTOWEL
. Starcraft \.
.' J ayco
. Prowler
. Glendale
Open 6 days, closed Wed.
satisfaction
ales
ervice
3 miles east of Listowel on
Hwy.86 Ph.291-1158
PLAN YOUR
MOTORING
FUTURE NOW!
Increase the resale
value of your car or
truck with
COMPLETE
PROTECTION
WI,'
HOUGHTON
RUSTPROOFING
raoCMss
517. 1 1 th Ave.,
Hanover
Call Les at 364-2832
"A MUST TO PREVENT
RUST"
ZIP ELECTRIC
LET US UPDATE YOUR
PRESENT ELECTRICAL
SERVICE AND EQUIPMENT
Call Brussels 887-9469
WAYNE GRUBE
Nimairommomilmumw
SOUND SELLING
FOR i;ATISFACTORY RETURNS
Serving the People of
GORRIE • FORDWICH
Kuarzyme •
RON SHELLEY
Auctioneer
R.R.2 PHONE
GORRIE 335-3679
. HADCO
Well Drilling &
Digging Ltd.
• Rotary Drilled Wells-- .
Machine Dug Shallow Wells
Sulphur Free Wells
Deepening & Repairing
Caissons-Earthboring
Elevator Shafts
A WELL. A DAY,THE HADCO WAY
Auger Rental Equipment
For Any Job
P - lt. ill.. IS
ELMIRA 669-3761
sT. MARYS 2844702
•
HARRISTON
PACKING CO.
Give us a call
for
MEAT FOR YOUR FREEZER
• -hogs by the half and whole
-beef by the side and quarter
CUSTOM 'KILLING TO
YOUR NEEDS
hogs - Tues.
beef - Thurs.
338-3330
Farm Dead. Stock
Service
ATV1100D PET FOOD
SUPPLIES LTD.
At this time
we cannot pay for -
dead farm stock
FREE PICK-UP
CALL 356-2257
Out of Town Call
ZENITH 70650
N$UR*NCE
All Types of
Insurance
3353525 357.2636
GORRIE WINGHAM
NEED
SERVICE?
1 TRY
THESE
FIRMS
W. D. 'BILL' MAY
STATE FARM
INSURANCE
Auto-
Life- Fire
WINGIi,/04^ :.:.
357-3280
Commodore
Canada
When you buy a
Lakehurst Mobilo Home
you "get what you ask for"
Also
See Don for all leisure
° , time trailers
DON McPHATL MOTORS
/338-3422 Harriston
Al's Collision
Service
Phone
X57-2206
Conc. 2, Morris Twp.
Repair and Refinishing
Enamel and Laquer
Rust Repair
Frame & Body Work
ON CARS 8 TRUCKS
If Repairable We Dolt
•
COUNTRY FURNITURE
and
UPHOLSTERY
W tnghorn
.
.NEW CHESTERFIELD SUITES
$200.00 - $500.00
.upholstery service
.custom .stripping of wood
furniture
291-1563 291.1038
LISTOWEL
See the EXPERT on
Small Engine Equipment
Bolens
A GOOD YARD RHEA •
Toro
STEVE MEW
Power Lawn
Mower Centre
across from Harriston
Drive -in -Theatre
Bus. 338.3616
Res. 330-2717
Dave Famish
Plumbing 8 Heating
Air Conditioning
.,and Electric
. Fully Licensed
Four men to serve you
Offices in
LISTOWEL AND
WHITECHURCH
Phone
291-1382 357-2530
SINGER
ONLY AT SINGER
New Singer
Elastic Stretch
Stitch Sewing
Machines
Guaranteed Repairs
To All Types of
Sewing Machines
DYSON SEWING CEHTRE
50 Wellington St.
STRATFORD
. Call 271-8804
L.
111.7VA JT•r
u..
Box 709, Durham
PHONE 369.3203
Located on No. 6 Highway
' ; Mile South of Varney
BUY USED MATERIALS
BATHROOM FIXTURES
DOOR- WINDOWS
LU BER, ETC.
HOURS —
Mon. to Fri., $ a.m. to 6 p.m.
Sat., 8 a.rm. to 12 Noon
ARCTIC CAT
Nothing runs Tike a cot
PIF
Lawn & Sports
Equipmeut
LISTOWEL 291.2441
Licensed Mechanic
"We Service Whet Wo Sell"
Yp,,�a ,�'akR,4iGa/.ya