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The Wingham Advance-Times, 1974-04-11, Page 204 U. 1W74-- Bill Smiley About my wife, kids and Germany This is going to be a shot -gun ',. instead of the usual co- nt, unified, lucid examina- tion of a single topic. I'm going to aim in all direc- tions at once and pull both trig- gers. Reason is I've got to get ready to go to Germany on Sun- day and have a lot to do. Like shine my shoes, and change $12 into rubles or whatever they use, and get my wife to iron some shirts, and, uh, get her to pack My bag, and, uh, well, a lot of im- portant things. First of all, I've rediscovered a maxim that was already ancient when Moses looked .out over the promised land: women are not only unpredictable, but unrea- sonable. My wife had known for about a month that I might be going to Germany on the winter break. She thought it was great for me. "It'll be a nice change for you. And it'll do you good to get away from . me for a few days. You must get sick of me." I lied politely, as usual. Told her I didn't need a change,°that I could scarcely bear .the thought of being separated, and that the very idea of being sick of her was nauseating. Then I came home one day and told her it was all set, but that she couldn't go. "When?", she queried, knowing it would be several months off, and that there might be an earthquake or a flood or something in the mean- time. "Oh, I guess, Sunday night;" I a responded casually, serene in the knowledge that she wasin favour of the trip. She burst into tears. • My text topic also deals with the family; and with an aqueous" events Aside from, a rainstorm, have you ever been soaked from a great height? I have. Last Sun - PHILIPS $ ROGERS MAJESTIC "MODULAR 4" SERVICE DEPOT NASKETT TELEVISIONIALEI AND SERVICE i day. I was thoroughly enjoying playing with my grandson. He's old enough now to be played with, withdut fear that he'll break. I had him under the armpits, and was hoisting him in the air, making those ridiculous sounds that would make grandfather blush crimson if they ever heard them on tape. A look of pure glee passed across the kid's face, and I thought, "By golly, he knows me, and he's enjoying his granddad." Next second, I was soaked from shoulder to knee. It was warm,, and at first I thought I'd burst a painless blood vessel. But it was the wrong color. It's not unpleasant at first. Rather like taking a warm, salt bath with your clothes on. It's when it begins to cool .. . There's not much more to be developed there, so I'll turn to topic three: exams, which we have just gone througha session of. Nothing is more depressing than starting to mark a set of exam papers, and finding that the first five you mark are failures. You are filled with self-doubt. "Have I not taught them any- thing? I'm a failure as a teacher. I should go back to the shoe factory. If everybody fails, I'll be fired, because in this system, if you're teaching failures, you're a failure as a teacher, regardless of any other factors." Then you pick up a paper and the student has understood what you've taught, and applied it, and used some brains of his own, and it's a ninety percenter. Haile- lujah! And you're hooked for another year. There is only one thing,.worse .than marking exam papers. That is supervising the writingof them. , The quaint old 'word for this function is "invigilating". It Sounds kind of ditty, but it isn't. Just utterly boring. You are figuratively locked in a room for two hours with about 35 teenagers. That alone is a fate worse than death, for some people. Personally, I'd rather be locked. with 35 students than t w fj' 5 b`a11Oo`tfs , • Then 'begins two hours of hell. The kids are supposed to be tense, nervous, strainin‘,every brain cell to do well. They're about as tense as a hibernating bear. Susie takes off her shoes, assumes a yoga position, and looks out the window. Jack's crutch, a relic of skiing and a broken leg, falls on the floor, and you jump a foot, while the victims a . 0 snicker. You resort, after the first hour, to such things as counting greasy hair versus washed hair, bras versus braless, big clumsy boots versus sneakers. You look up at the picture on the wall of the Queen, on whom somebody has drawn a mous- tache. You fill in, with your ima- gination, sideburns, and realize the Queen would have been pretty dashing in 1580. You look out the window at the dirty snow -banks and dream. t, ; beach or a trout stream, Tett whip around, aware you were ; drifting, to see if anyone Ischeat- ing. Nobody is. Except Joe, 'wbo has given up after half an hour Of tongue and pen working together,. and is sound asleep, head , q. arms. An early fly buzzes. Warned you this would be shotgun column. But I think I've covered everything on the' Borne front. Next despatch will be from Germany. I promise it will be loaded with fraulein, gemutlich- heit, blutwurst, putsches and other Teutonic goodies, Let's see now, if I remember my Deutsch. "Was maken sie hier? Wie vil hur ist es? Nich rauchen bevor der zug halte. Ich bin ein krieggefangenner. Wo bist die scheisshaus?" Reckon P11 get along. MOTORS LTR. "Huron County's 'or+emoot Car d Truck Dealer" BANK . 'AN+ ; RAT. Avg, 1118 %ove1, 38 MRS... for new and used. ears 28 SuccesSfl 1. Years In TheSarne Town OPEN Weekdays till 10 $aturdaysa1'it' CARS and TRUCKS 887-073 NEEI..A NEW ROOF' Contact Ralph PHEASANT RESTAURANT l.lstaw�rl'. 291.3031 oseirwwwwowsiswirsismissommisimisir You Can't Beat SAUGEEN VALLEY MEAT. TRIAN. Distr W oles and' Retail Milverton Heating t Sheet Metal SAI.ES & INSTALLATION FU-RNACE4 EAVE 'iTRQUGHIN¢ MEET METAL WORK Wholesale and Retail Service Beef and Pork by the SIDE AND QUARTER MILVERTON • ONTARIO NOR 309 • 993.117a CLIFFORD Phone 327-8401 PAI4SENG ER • FARM TRUCK On the farm service Phone 291-2521 LISTOWEL . HURON DEAD.STOck REMOVAL, CLINTON We are now paying $5415 for fresh dead or disabled cows and horses over '500 lbs. Two trucks to serve you better. Fast efficient service. All small farm stock - picked up free of charge as a service to you. License No. 237-C-7 Call us first, you ' won't have to call anyone else. 24 -Hour Service 7 Days a Week CALL COLLECT 482-9811 Ln/on FACTORY s,* r t. OUTLET In Their Original OLD MILL .111.. ,.Ur., P,Iik IN BLYTH wok a d LEATHER PRODUCTS Meg ,Y BAINTON LTD. Blyth 523-9373 • Singer Pat Boone came up from Hollywood to be Tommy Hunter's\1l!guest, along with the boys of St. Michael's Choir School and organist Eric Robertson on Tommy, Hunter's 90 -minute Easter Special - Good Friday, April 12 on CBC television starting at 8:30 ,p.m. - office, travel and tent TRAILERS - truck campers - truck caps - trailer parts :and • accessories Open 6 days, closed Wed. 21i2,mileswest of Hanover , on No -4 Hwy. Ph. 3644748 4.44 Cr�ssroads Classifieds 212 Main St. W. Listowel Phan• 29.1-3704 Van Lyl Bros: have a SPECIAL APRIL DISCOUNT SALE -reconditioned discs and corn planters -new 140-500 U.S. gala sprayers ‘feed and bale racks -new fertilizer spreaders -harvesters and flail choppers FIRST COME FIRST SERVED Clifford 327-8445 oe ld G co Eieroi Ethel, Ontario. NOG 1TO. April '1,1974 Dear Editor: • .Upon ° reading H. Gordon Green's column in the March 28 Crossroads Section, I instantly became a fan of his. I would covet a membership card to his vine -covered shack. For my part of the revolution I would take my turn at guarding the board walk and helping. to confound the flun- kies. I would alio help to stock the speakeasy by supplying unpack- aged vegetables and ungraded potatoes. Government ' and mar- keting board revenuers be damned. Here's to warm eggs, 5 per cent Jersey milk and unim- proved meat. Herb 'Eldridge Coming Events OUR Phone 356-2802 A.H. BOWMAN 7-4 MFG. LTB. METAL FABRICATING ATWOOD -ONTARIO Also Metered Concrete Mobile Service SMALL ENGINE. SERVICE & REPAIR M. C. SMITH SPORTS DIVISION M. C. SMITH APPLIANCES Authorized factory 'service for: TORO JOHN DEERE BRIGGS & STRATTON AND KAWASAKI Licensed mechanic on premises for service and major repairs to most other makes. RR 2, Listowel - 291-3810 Mon. Thtu Fri. 8 to 6 WHERE OUR LOCATION SAVES YOU MONEY CARSON'S AUCTION SERVICE Available for Alt Types of AUCTION SALES Choice Dairy Cattle Bought and Sold Facilities Available for Herd Dispersals CaII DAVID CARSON R.R. 3, Listowel, 291.2049 Where' Satisfied Customers Send Their Friends INCOME TAX PREPARED - Farmers - Businessmen - Individuals Reasonable Rates CALL NOW Monkton anytime 347.2241 Brussels Tues. and Fri. 887-6663 Ronnenherg Insurance Agency "Avoid chi RMsi ,47 Copy . for Crossroads Classi- fieds must be received by 6 p.m., Wednesday of week prior to pub- lication. CRADLE CLUB The Cradle Club of Listowel Memorial Hospital will be hold- ing their 9th annual auction sale on Thursday, April 11 at the Royal Canadian Legion Audito- rium at 7 p.m. Auction preview and boutique sale 2 - 4 p.m. Miscellaneous NEW FARM BUILDINGS. If you need a new barn, drive shed, an addition or just a new roof, call us. Trust our experience of over 40 years. J. & H. Fleming Limit- ed, Hanover, phone 364-1880. E2 For Sale Wanted To Buy MANAMA MOTORING FUTURE NOW! Increase the resale value of your car or -truck with ; COMPLETE , PROTECTION With CARS, trucks and tractors for wrecking. See -us for any parts, towing or good used tires. Bill's Auto Parts, phone 338-2021,. RR 3, Harriston. 11-18-25-2 HOUGHTON WE BUY AND SELL antique .furniture, pottery, glass, china, etc. Single pieces, collections and estates. Immediate cash avail- able. Phone 291-4214, 190 Main St. East, Listowel, HICK'S AN- TIQUES. 21-284.11 HUSTHHOOFING PROCESS 517 1 1 th Ave., Hanover Call Les et 364-2832 "A MUST TO PREVENT RUST" ATWOOD PET; FOOD SUPPLIES LTD. Due to the increase in meat prices we are able to give you top prices for fresh, dead, or disabled cows and horses. We will pick up your calves and pigs free. Radio equipped trucks for the fastest service. CASH ON THE SPOT Local Calls Atwood 356-2257 Long Distance Zenith 70650 7Days a Week 24 Hours a Day Lic. No. 427-C-73 HUNTER MOVING STORAGE P & F. Lawn„ & Sports LISTOWEL 291-2441 Licensed Mechanic Visit Us Soon AGENT' ALLI E D VAN LIME Local and Long Distance Class D P.C.V. Licence For d livery or shipping needs CALL THE EXPERTS' HANOVER Collect 364-1560 HONDA See a Si#zteI ...you'll enjoy the view LARRY'S CYCLE WORLD Help Wanted BY-PRODUCTS FEED DIVISION has an immediate opening for a laboratory technician, mini- mum of a two-year laboratory technology school with ex- perience in chemical analysis of feedstuffs and related bio- logical materials. Qualified person should write, giving full details of education and employment to: DIRECTOR OF RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT BY-PRODUCTS FEED DIVISION R.R. 1, MOOREFIELD, ONT. IRetail Sales Person . To work part time in Listowel Store, related . To work time in Listowel Store, related to Home Furnishings and Interiors. . Hours and Days are flexible to suit individual. (Con become full time) . Good starting salary `with regular increases according to ability. . Person must be very neat in appearance. . Enjoy meeting public and be dependable. • Be good at figures and willing to work. PERSONS WITH RETAIL EXPERIENCE PREFERRED BUT WILL TRAIN IF YOU HAVE THE DESIRE Write to Box 1483, Listowel Banner For Personal Interview Stating, Age, Marital Status, Education, Past tiropiloym.nt, Hours Available, Address and Phone Number ALL REPLIES STRICLY CONFIDENTIAL 1 HOLSTEIN and Angus calves. Phone Palmerston 343-5672. GLENDALE MOBILE HOMES and Travel Trailers for sale; also large fully serviced and .land- scaped mobile home lots for rent. First sideroad west of Stratford on Highway 8, 1'2 mile north. Crystal Lake Mobile Homes, Court Ltd., RR 5, Stratford. Phone 393-6121. tf CAMPING AND TRAILERS JEWELL TRAILER SALES— Starcraft, Jayco, Prowler, Glen- dale. Open 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Closed Wednesdays. Highway 86 east, Listowel. Phone 291-1158. My9 43 SPRING SPECIALS 1972 Plymouth Fury, 2 -door hardtop, fully equipped; 1972 Oldsmobile, 2-d`i or hardtop, fully equipped including air con- ditioning; 1972 Pontiac Sedan, fully equipped. Numerous other good used vehicles. John Brown Motors, Gorrie. C'mon in and try at your friendly trailer dealer DON McPHAIL MOTORS Harriston DURHAM FARM EQUIPMENT White and New Idea .90od variety new tractors in stock .good clean used tractors .1555 Cockshutt 92 hours .1265 Cockshutt 320 hours .1265 Cockshutt 322 hours 4 wheel drive with loader .etc. .Glenner Combine .Grain Head .Pick-up Head with pick-up .4 row corn head used ono season .manure spreaders priced to sell .503 Cockshutt Swather with 12' header and hay Conditioner - PRICED TO SELL MAKE US A PRICE UP or DOWN - large stock used - sales and SERVICE Walkerton 881.0984 Across from the Brewers' Retail Outlet Weil BAN« All Types of Insurance 335-3525 357-2636 GQRRIE WINGHAM USE YOUR HEAD WHEN SHOPPING FOR YOUR FEET - SPECIAL care in fitting for all ages. - attention to groups, clubs sport teams and institutions CEJ :LER SHOES Palmerston • See the EXPERT on Small Engine Equipment Bolens A GOOD YARD AHEAD Toro STEVE MEW Power Lawn Mower Centre across from Harriston Drive -in -Theatre Bus. 338-3616 Res. 338-2717 M. C. Smith Home Service Division Now offering complete service for TV, radio. re- frigeration, ranges and other appliances. Backed by factory -trained service- men, a huge parts inven- tory, sophisticated repair equipment and one of Mid- western Ontario's largest stocks of major appliances. RR 2, Listowel 291-3810 "Our location saves you money." 1) • For Sale Quality Wearier Pigs - Fully Serviced and Delivered PUREBRED BOARS AND GILTS (Registered if Required) CROSSBRED GILTS - (Open or Bred) CALL JOHN LEE 5194673.5506 RESIDEI4CE 519.539.3511 OR AGENT 519.4$2.4030 MIRACLE AGRICULTURAL PRODUCTS , AND SERVICES HADCO Well Drilling & ;Pigging Ltd. Rotary Drilled Wells Machine Dug Shallow Wells Sulphur Free Weii,a Deepening & Repairing Caissons -Ea rthboring Elevator Shafts A WELL. A DAY THE HADCO WAY - AUGER HENT In. F;QL'IPMF:\T FOR ANY JOB ELMIRA 6694761 ST. MARYS 2844702 LORENZ Dead Stock Removal $20.00 for Horses lc a pound for Cows FAST SERVICE Phone Collect - 369-2410 DURHAM Drive Farrish PLUMBING & HEATING, AIR CONDITIONG AND ELECTRIC Offices in USTOWEL AND WHITECHURCH Phone 291.1382 3574530 LIVESTOCK FOR SALE Calves - Calves - Calves Good Quality Holstein or Beef Calves, 1 to 3 weeks old. Rea- sonable Prices, We Deliver. OSINGA BROS. 214138 ea • LINC RUSSWUIOVI LICENSED AUCTIONEER IfSys No Sale Too Big or Too Small Farm Property & Chattels Only 1 % Household Sales at 5% Your Patronage is Appreciated R.R. 5, Mildmay, Ont. 367.2123 Don McPhail Motors - AI's Collision Service PROTECT YOUR INVESTMENT Harriston 338-3422 Phone 357-2206 Conc. 2, Morris Twp. Repair and Refinishing Enamel and Laquer Rust Repair Frame & Body Work ON CARS & TRUCKS If Repairable We Do It Nommiowentaisaviimiaminamb REACH OVER 30,000 READERS with a Crossroads Classified Ad 1