Clinton News-Record, 1979-05-10, Page 14PAGE 14—CLINTON NEWS -RECORD, THURSDAY, MAY 10, 1979
central uron chronicle
[Rick Brown, Editor
Behind locked doors
By Inmate
Number 607421
(Janice Allan)
As the school year
draws slowly to an end, a
certain sadness fills the
hearts of the graduating
students. Those of us who
will not be returning to
this institution in the fall
have come to realize
what a hardship that will
be. Those fun filled days
when our hands turned
blue during classes in the
winter will soon be over.
The hours of homework
and assignments which
will be finished presently
bring a tear to my eye. As
I near the completion of
my sentence however. it
is not without some fond
reminiscing.
Being an inmate in this
institution has been
nothing short of an ad-
venture. It is always a
challenge to see whether
or not I'll be able to drag
my ball and chain from
class to class within the
allotted time. Juggling
my textbooks has
provided even more
excitement. I uphold the
institution's policy of
abstaining from going to
my locker between
classes. Besides four 500
page textbooks are easily
tucked under one's arm.
And those charming
black and white striped
uniforms with the
numbers of the front give
us a sense of belonging
and togetheeness.
Furthermore, when I
must leave for a brief
period of time due to a
death in the family and
other such trivia, I
simply tremble with
excitement, especially
since now I geta personal
appointment with the
vice -warden. .I really
enjoy grovelling but
lately I've noticed the
knees on my uniform are
beginning to wear thin.
However, an ap-
pointment is not always
necessary to see either
the warden or the vice -
warden. These gentle
caretakers often mingle
with the less fortunate
during lunch break. Their
interest in our health and
welfare is clearly
illustrated by the way
they insist we eat all our
bread crusts and drink all
our water.
Believe it or not, we
even have our own
special room where we
are allowed to drink pop
(provided we clean up
after ourselves) and
listen to the radio
(provided it is not too
loud) and look at our
posters (provided of
course that the posters
Letter to Editor
are free of "smut"). The
lounge is definitely an
attraction but oc-
casionally it remains
locked for some
mysterious reason. No
doubt the key was
misplaced or perhaps the
door was jammed. Crash
helmets are recom-
mended for this area
because it is known to be
frequented by animals
and the occasibnal
delinquent.
Nostaligia, it would
appear, has already
begun to affect me. The
future, however bleak
and unappealing cannot
be ignored. But as I leave
the hallowed halls of this
institution I ask the
question; "Is there life
after high school?"
The restaurant
To whom it may Concern,
(and even if it doesn't) :
It has come to our
attention that we weren't
appreciated. The fiesty
little fellow -who tore
apart our opening session
should be fried and
sauteed in corn syrup. He
was unjust and did not
understand our venture.
The International
Garage of Pancakes,
IG.P is a completely new
approach to the
restaurant..... The three -
wall structure allows for
more fesh air, better
viewing of surrounding
area, and a more con-
venient drive-in service.
We admit we had a little
problem with the low
hanging cumulus clouds,
but there are always bugs
to be ironed out. Ours is
no exception.
The decor allows for a
relaxed atmosphere. Who
wouldn't bring their kids
along with them to a
place like this? No one
could possibly be am-
barrassed.
Now, contemn, the food
was not that bad, was it?
We realize that our
technique for cooking is
not perfect, but we shall
improve. When our chain qualities. The gold in Fort
is across the nation from Knox radiates throughout
Summerhill to Hills America, fertilizing the
Green, you can say "I ate oranges in Florida, ac -
at the first IG.P on the tivating the assembly
opening day!" lines in Detroit and
producing a bumper crop
of millionaires.
This is the McLonergan
theory: any man can
bury a bit of gold in the
ground near Fort Knox
and become a
millionaire.
Finian knows his
economics, but he also
'knows his lovely and
spirited daughter,
Sharon. Since he'll never
get heel to America to try
out his theory if he tells
her the truth, he invents a
case of arthiritis for
himself, curable only in
the climate of Rainbow
Valley, U.S.A.
Getting the gold to
launch his project is, for
Finian, less a problem.
He lies in ambush one
night, w,aylays a
leprechauns whose crock
of gold provides the
'power to make mortal
wishes, and "borrows"
the little fellow's crock.
This is what starts the
fun. Finian gets to
Rainbow Valley with
Sharon and plants the
crock. The leprechaun
comes in pursuit, uttering
dire warnings of misery
and destruction. Wishes
are made on the crock
(it's good for only three)
and history veers crazily.
C WSS PRESEWTS
FIIVIAN'S
RAINBOW
rbw 10 411
The story of Finian
Fantasy, reality, Irish When news gets out
folklore and romance are that gold has been
the ingredients of discov- eredon
"Finian's Rainbow." McLonergan's�property,
Everyone in the world credit and calico gowns
knows that all Americans and tractors pour in.
are millionaires, but only Finian's millionaire
Finian McLonergan of theory comes true.
Glocca Morra, Ireland Sharon is about to get
knows why. By a process that rainbow her father
of mathematics, logic has always promised her
and moonbeams, he has - a boy for her heart and
found the answer in the
soil of Fort Knox. There's
something magical about Big
chee - -
r a the
gold phenomenal
pennies for her purse -
when the leprechaun's
doleful predictions
materialzie. Not for good,
of course.
And if you don't believe
in' leprechauns, well,
considering the state of
the world, it might just be
that leprechauns don't
believe in people.
By "Dick and Duts"
this is a "Dick and
Duts" production,
OWNED AND
OPERATED
BY Dick and Duts.
On Saturday,. May 5, lasted until 6:00 p.m.
the Cheerleaders from Even though everyone
C.H.S.S. held a Cheer -a- was getting tired and our
thon in the auditorium of bodies ached, we still
the school. Everyone kept up that Redrnen
arrived at 8 and spent the' Spirit! !
day doing chants, We would like to thank
working on new _c.h ers� all ,the__.teach_ers__who--,.
Every hour we did aloin -"-�s- pervised and evE ry'one
pom routine to "Disco who sponsored us 'for the
Inferno." Cheer-.1-thon.
The Cheer-a-thon Once we collect all the
t, money, we expect to have w
raised $500.
Lake Manitoba
Click, Creech, Slam!
An old lady walks in the
room, turns the TV on.
sits down and pulls out
her knitting.
Click, Creech, Slam! A
second old lady enters the
room, turns off the TV,
sits down and starts to
crochet.
Click, Creech, Slam! A
third old lady enters,
turns on the TV, sits down
and does riothin1g.
The neyvs comes on
showing the flood in
Manitoba.
First Lady: "My isn't it
awful what's happenin'
out there!"
Second lady: "Yes, it is
Erma! -Just awful!"
First lady: "You're so
right Mother! Just awful.
The two ladies fall back
into silence. Eventually
mother speaks, "My son
has friends out there."
"Out where?"
"Out in Manitoba,
Erma."
"Oh."
Silence.
"They'll have problems
with getting fresh water
won't they?"
"Who will Erma?"
"Your son's friends."
"Yes I suppose." (they
become quiet again).
"He won't have to fill
the swimming pool now."
"Who won't mother?"
"George."
"Oh," (silence befalls
them again).
"Why won't he have to
fill his pool?"
"Because Erma, it
floated away in the
flood."
"Oh," (pause) "How
does a swinning pool float
away?"
"It wasn't built yet. It
was still in the crate."
- "Oh."
For a long while the two
ladies do not speak. All
that is heard is their
breathing, and the click
of the needles.
"I suppose it's all from
that clogged toilet!"
"What toilet, Harold?"
Third lady: "My
nephew lives out there in
that place you're jibbin
about, Manitoba. He
wrote me a letter saying
his toilet clogged and
overflowed.."'
First and second
ladies: "Oh".
Silence.
Owners
ofsmaller
businesses..
weprovide:
* Financialacrastance
* Management counselling (CASE)
* Management traanang
* Infirmationongovernment
programsfr6usrnesr
Can uehe0you?
See our Representative
RANDY BROWN'
at: Parker House Motel, Clinton
3rd Thursday of each month
on: (Next Visit: May 17th.,)
ay
FEDERAL BUSINESS
DEVELOPMENT BANK
(Branch Office Address) For prior
information call°271-5650 or write
1036 Ontario St, Stratford
Basketball
The Sr. intramural
basketball squabble has
finally been called to a
halt and Mr. Russell's 5B
came out of it victorious.
For weeks, the date for
the final game has been
postponed because it wag
in conflict with other
things many members of
the homeroom were
involved in Mostly, the
problem was that three of
Miss Swiss's 4E team
played soccer on days
when the basketball was
to be played.
On Monday, Mr. Weber
decided it had gone on
long enough and would
not postpone the date any
further. He could not
floor a full team so they
were forced to dafault.
This meant that the
championship goes to Mr.
Russell's undefeated 5B
team.
Special! For
your Freezer
BEEF
SIDES
$1.56;b
FRONTS
$ 1 • 3 9 Ib.
HINDS -
$1e851b.
PRICES GOOD 'TIL
SATURDAY
PRICES INCLUDE
CUSTOM CUTTING TO
YOUR SPECIFICATIONS,
WRAPPING AND
QUICK-FREEZING
Authorized dealers for
WOODS FREEZERS
For A Strong, Fresh Voice
ONMAY22ndELECT
GRAEME CRAIG
MITCHELL'S
The two Gibbings boys of Clinton were award winners at the Clinton Mustang
banquet last Saturday night. Mike, left, was named the best defenseman and
won the Fleming Feed Mill Trophy, while brother Tony was voted the most
improved player and won the Bryan Marriage trophy. (News -Record photo)
AI SERVICES
Here is a Business Management
seminar on two very common
problems faced by rapidly
growing small Businesses
MANAGEMENT
FEDERAL
BUSINESS
DEVELOPMENT BANK
FAMILY MARKET
LONDESBORO
4
482-9951
or 523.4478
A Management Seminar
AT ROYAL CANADIAN LEGION NALL, KIRK STREET, CLINTON
ON WEDNESDAY MAY 16, 1979
REGISTRATION 8 30AM
Would you like to attend? If so, please complete the coupon and return it, with your
cheque, to the address below For further information; please contact
Pete Huxtable, Management Service Officer Tel.: 27145650 (colloctl
® INN N-- Ell NMI Ell NM ----
The Manager
Federal Business Development Bank
1036 Ontario Street
Meet GRAEME and the HON. BUD CULLEN
At the home of Spence and Lenore Cummings
49 William St., Clinton
4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. ,
Cash Flo w Difficulties
Whether or not to Incorporate
STRATFORD, Ontario NSA 623
I will attend the business management
seminar at CLINTON on MAY 16th, 1979 ■
Name(s)
Address
Postal Code - Tel
■
■
Tho Rarldtrallon PN of 'UM r pardon tneludes iunthoon.
IIIIrrr ailmomiumillidll
■
DON'T FORGET ADVANCE POLLING DAYS
MAY 12, 14 and 15
For Information, Problems, or if Yon Wish to Work - Phone Walton 887-6886,
Exeter 235-2788, Clinton 482-7801, Seaforth 527-0607, Goderleh 524-2161,
Wingham 357.1560
Published by The Official Agent for Graeme Craig, Walton, Ontario.