Loading...
The Exeter Times, 1879-7-17, Page 6THE TIMES THE Dl.Tlr.1N com'T. q'lloievii name up to the earth one clay, Amato a court houseowended hie way, Jo as a lawyer, with very grave face, +as proceeding to argt+e the " points of the rase." a lawyer His 3fajesty never had seen, F or in his dominions none ever had been, And he felt very angry the reason to know, Why none had been sent to the regionsbelow. 'Twas the fault of his agents, His Majesty thought,. That none of those lawyers haei ever been caught, And fol his own pleasure he felt a desire, To come to the earth nadide reason enquire, •Fell, this lawyer who rose with visage so grave, ;a fade out his opponent a consummate knave, Aud the Devil himself was greatly amused To hear how the other was loudly abused. But as soon as the speaker came to a close, The counsel opposing him fiercely arose And heaped such abuse on the head of the ,first As made him a villain of all men the worst. Time they quarrelled, contended, and argued so long, Thu 'twas hard to determine which man was wrong ; And concluded he'd heard quite enough of the " fuss," Old Nick turned away and soliloquized thus: If all they have said of each other be true, The devil has surely been robbed of his due But I'm satisfied now tl:at it's all Illy well For these lawyers would. ruin the morals of hell ! They have puzzled the court with their vil- lainous cavil And I'm free to confess they have puzzled the Devil; My agents are right to let lawyers alone - 11 I had them they'd swindle me out of my throne !" TliE WONDERS OF SCIENCE. It is curious how narrow•miuded some men are, and how little they care about subjects calculated to broadeu anti fit their mental faculties. Such a man was half asleep on a bench at the Uniou depot when a tall stranger with a very l•hort linen duster on eat down beside hila and: • Have you calculated the pressure per square inch which you exert on this bench?' The sleepy man scowled as he looked up, and then turned away as if he didn't want to here any more. 'Do you know.' continued linen dus- ter whether it is dead weight or force of gravitation which permits you to rest on the bench?' 'No sir,' was the emphatic answer. 'What is the attractive power of earth what force is exerted by the law of gravitation en feet the size of yours? Let us figure a moment.' 1 don't want to hear you balk!' snap- ped the other as be sat up. ' I am waltingg tor a train!' So' ani I,' said linen duster, ' and that opens a subject for new thought. Do you know the weight of air dis- placed by a train moving at 'the rate of thirty miles an hour ?' No, sir, nor I don't care? I'm in no mood of talking 1' 'Suppose,' remarked linen dueler as he squinted bis left eye at ' the sun, that you aro waiking at the rate of six miles all hour, do you wish to know what pressure the air exerts upon your forward movement? Leud me your pencil and I will figure.' Won't do it; and I tell you again I don't want to be talked tot.' was the fierce reply. 'Do you know how long it would take a locomotive to reach the moon, run- ning at the rate of one mile a minute?' softly asked linen -duster. 'See here , I'll knock yonr head off if you don't go away from me!' 'You sir, weigh abouu 160 pounds, and have a well developed muscle; but do you know how much force is exerted in knocking down a human being, and the force of atmospheric pressure to be overcome before your fist reaches hip face?' I've stood your sass just Iong enough and now you leave or I'll mop the ground with you!' shouted the nar- row-minded man as he jumped up and spat on his hands. ' fare not the wonders of science in- teresting to you?' • No, sir.' And don't yon care to know that the sun is 256,000--? No, sir! no,sir !' 'On that tho muon exercises an in- fluence ---1' • • No, air -go off —I don't care --go away --you're a liar and a fraud !' The man with the linen duster with drew a few feet to lean against the wall and the other went back to hie narrow minded and selfish interests. While the latter dozen and thought of nothing higher than ham and eggs, the former picked up an old nail and softly figured out the distance travelled by a father's arm in giving his son an old fashioned whaling. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. Aeeordiug to the Boston .Tournal nt' •Cl)U7erce, at Ills semi-annual sleeting of the New England Cotton Manufno. turor's Association, of Boston, Pro- fessor Ordway made a report on cer- tain chemical properties of commercial ell, and incidentallydiscussed spon- taneous combustion, which is oxidating of oil when spread out aver a largo surface. It was found that in: time all oil, whether animal or vegetable oil when mixed with a mineral oil would undergo spontaneous combustion. It was found that cottonseed oil would take fire even when nixed. with twenty- five per cont. of petroleum oil; but it was ascertained beyond a doubt that even ten per cent. of miueal oil mix. ed with an animal or vegetable oil went far to prevert combustion, Pro- fessor Ordway described some experi- ments in other direotious, but explain• ed that they would have to be continu- ed before definite deductions could be made. In oonuection with the tests of the flashing point, experiments had been made with ten specimens of kero- sene oil bought at different stores in Boston. The flashiug point should be, at 180 degrees Fareliheit. Downer's kerosene was found to be good at 184, but the other epeslinens flashed ro- spctively at 84, 80, 81, 117, 79, 73, 125, 79, 80, and 84 degrees. The Pro- fessor was of the opinion that it was time for somebody to look after the kerosene oil sold and used iu Boston when out of ten speecimeus bought at random only one was fit for use with safety. He remarked the fact that oils bought ander the same name, from the same manufacturer and at the same price, differed very much in quality. Another remarkable circumstance was that some oils which flashed at a low point were high priced, and t'ice versa. Closing, the Professor recommended 1 that manufacturers of oil should be aroused to a greater sense of their re-• sponsibility. R.+.-. Enjoy Life. What a truly beautiful world we live in 1 No - titre gives us grandeur of mountains, glens, awl oceans, and thousands of means for en- joyment. We can desire no better when in 1 perfect health ; but how often do the majority of people feel like giving it up disheartened, discouraged and worried oat with diseast W len there is no occasion for this feeling, as every sufferer can easily obtain satisfactory p •oof that Green's August Flower will make ti e a as free from disease as when born. Dyspepsia and Liver Complaint is the direct cans n of seventy-five per cent. of such maladies as 73i1i- ousne's, Indigestion, Sick Headache, eostiv-- nese, :Nervous Prostration, Dizziness of the Head. Palpitation of the Heart, and other dis- tressing symptoms. Three doses of August Flower will prove its wonderful effect. Sample bottles, 10 cents. Try it. e.-.+-.. For all purposes of a fancily medicine HAG- rAnos YELLOw OIL will be found invaluable. Immediate relief will follow its use. It re- lieves pain, clues chilblains, frostbites, scalds, burns, corns, rheumatism, neualgia &c., &c. For internal use it is nine the less wonderful. One or two doses frequently cure sore throat. It will euro croup in s few minutes. A few bottles has often cured asthma. Colic has been cured in fifteen minutes by a teaspoonful dose. It cures with theutmost rapidity. It is really a wonderful medicine. For sale at Cen- i tral Drug Store, Exeter. It is no exaggeration to say that health is a large ingredient in what the world calls .talent. a man without it may be a giant in intellect, but his deeds will be the deeds of a dwarf. A weak mind in a sound frame is much better titan a giant mind in a crazy constitution. Professional and business men, who are always thinking, and whose habits are sedentary, should use VICTORIA HITOPUOSPIIITES, the great brain and nerve remedy. For sale at Central Drug Store, Exeter. To be thoroughly happy, yon must be well To be well, in thousands of cases, yon should take the great medicine, which relieves, regu- lates and renovates disordetly systems—Vlo- TonIA Bocau t ud (TVA Unsr. For Bright's di- sease of the kidneys, diabetes, and all diseases of the urinary system, its timely ase is very beneficial. For sale at Central Drug Store, Exeter. MAI11I STREET, EXETER. REMOVAL! REMOVAL! REMOVAL! REMOVAL! REMOVAL! REMOVAL! P. FRAYN1L has remove to his new shop, lately occupied' by Perkins & 00—two doors north of J. Grigg's book store,wbore you will and everything usually kept in a first-class harness establishment,which for •luali.ty of material and elylo of workmanship IS NOT EASILY SURPASSED call and oxo,mino my stock before purchasing elsewhere. PETER FRAYNE. HAY PUMP WORTS. O. BOLTON • PROPRIETOR. -,-1 nftving added to my pump machinery, and pro- cured a Targe quantityyof first-class pump log., I ain prepared to offer an article Superior to any Factory in the Countyt. and at prices that defy competition. Wells and cisterns dug on the shortest notice. Before purchasing call atthe ILLY Pump Works, t ,shop--Ono-quarter mile north of Exeter Tionuonnoad. Ray 1', 0 • r1;Lr 17, 1S7,9 C,r,w•,a�•.e,4S1ARt�, __ _ Furniture and Una ertalkinor. H. 1'AI1iISAI1IN has au gland tit Henson as large and as handsome a stock of FUltNITUlibl as call be fouul.in any establishment in Huron, all of which lie IS PREPARED TO SELL CHEAP i UNDERTAKING IN ALL ITS BRANCHES Having proollrt:d it handsome hearse, he is prepared to atitend to UNDERTAKING-, On the Afoet Reasonable Terms, In connection with the Undertaking BrisineRR, he uses the Aeti•Septic'L initl,. wlliell preserves the body and destroys all offensive odors, and prevents contagion arising from dee,. bodies, A call respectfully solicited. S. AIEtt,,X7 . 01 THE EXETE "'. TIMES Cheap IP 1111111161 ft 4 MEDICAL. Da. coWit1. 0F'FECE...- tA1N Street, Muter, np•s(uiri. nnposite Central liotol. Sulu 110111.0, on tho se,uih--s.treet leull- igu to It.... (emelt. t.'e'O lei's left at ail€tlo'a shoe store will reee€ve prolttut attention. • •39.1y, 'rya. iiUTTOiiIN±UN, AIN?,, t of • the College of E'ity sic €isun and Surgeons of Ontario. &v., &e., Oillee nest deur to. E. Car€iu€s, 'Main Street, l'; xott t', J)U 11):N!1)M AN. t ()1tUNl?il F0.11 the County of;loran. lsillce,ueutflool• to Br. I. Carling's utero„ 1•:se ter. W. Jill() \ .Alli\( M. 1)...._(3. 11. � • 1' t3, Gra du are \ictori.sl'u'vontftc• Otl[co and res lclanna, rl,,l: .nets 1,ebor t iv,'Exoter. 1 0.1110011E. III. I). 0.M. y• Graduate of .\:soil. lrltivursity, 3:entree) Oince mid rosideuce,blxotor, Oat. O'tlee 1 ours -- 8 to 10 it. nl and 7 t lea. 111 TB.. J. A. ROLLINS, M. 0. 1", S. 0., VVictoria St. Crediton, Out OOioe hood'111 Twin a to i0 a, In.; 2 to A p. TO. (! LUT., i11. 1)., V • ulnae at his residence, Bxeter. I VI. IRVING, caitAll UAT11; UI I- • FFI1ISITY Trinity College el*e1,erCollege Pevsioialts and surut"utlt Ont.. cjlheeKirkton, L1+..G•AL R H. CADDY, BA.RIi,ISTER & ATTORNEY At Law, Solicitor, &c. Of lcu, Fa.uson a Elouh Exeter. I I AIDING IIAIIDING, l� WHITE. $nrli fors, Attorneys, Solicitors, Com- sionors,B. Lt., &c. debtor•;—HurTON's I3LocA, Vint et trout, St 1In ry'e. GUN IS .H A1zDIN o, E .W, HARDING. }I.A.L.WIi1's t WIifoDIARMID, B.A., 4t%itlt1S'TER,NOT.tILY, CONVEYANCER LUCAN,ONT. HOTELS. `tENTfIAL HOTEL, CILEDITUN .• J —ruin. Baker proprietor. This Hott•1 has been newly furnished and fatted q,) in first-class style. Largo and convenient 1tlt+,w Booms for Commercial Travellers; best of licplur, and cigars 1 at the Bar. Attentive Resters always 01; bond.. 31 91-3ni. WILLT.AM BAKED, D BINGE OF WALES HOTEL.. OLIN VON. G. WARTS having purchased the above ..olid, and fittod it throughout, now of- fers.grit-class accommodation to travelers, Good liquor andat trio bur. Uotuistt:bliug and attentive lioslcigars lur on hand. Every attention, paid to guests. All kinds or printing done neatly cheaply and with dispatch. Order you work where you can get it done the cheapest. Colored Work aSpecialty ! The TIMES OFFICE has excellent facilities for turning out CARDS, BILL READS, POSTERS, CIRCULARS, 8cc CATARRH! CATARRH! ! US.)' The great Sierra Nevada Smoking Compound. Tho only positive euro for Cmtarrhyet discovered. PCD 5.1L11 III' C. LUTZ'S CENTRAL DRtt(b STOKE. ; W. L, SMITE, General Agent, Arsons, ont,ly-2S. NEW 1IACIIINE SHOP.1.\ il�illiam itching Wishes to inform the public that he is,•botter prepared torepau all kinds of Sewing Machines, Watches Clocks, Guns, &c., than any other person in the country, as his charges are moderate, -and: he guarantees to give Satisfac- Cion. GIIAY'S SPECIF C 3LED2(1INE. Thee,',atEnglisliTRADE MARK: TRADE MA R K. Remedy, unfail ing cure for Somi- nnl weskues., Sperm ate rrh ea, Diseases that fol- low as a sequence of Self abusu, as loss of Homely, Universal Lassi.A `I'• Before Takingtlute, fain in the akingi Buck, Dlumems of vision, Premature old ago, and many other Diseases that load to Insanity or Consumption and a Premature grave. t.1—Full particulars in our pamphlet, which we desire to send free by mail to every one. I.The Specific Medicine is soldby all druggisteat:Apar package. or six packages for $5. or will bo sent by mail on receipt of the money by addressing TEi)3 GRAY n1I DICINE WINDSOR, 0NT.,CGNADA.. ss—sold. in Exeter by al I druggists, and every- where in0amide tnil the United States by w3io)o- sale and retail druggists. Groceries a G'on /ectonary, Smoring Tobacco 25 Cents peri lb CHOICE TBOACCOS AND Min alwayslnstock. !as' SPORTSMEN'S DEPOT. School Books, Stationary, Magazines WITH ALL THE LATEST news N.B.—Sewing idachia, Needles ofovery kind. A. BOY). THE ONTARIO LOAN AND SAVINGS CODI PAN`, OF LONDON. , JOSEPH.T0IFP731SY, .'resident, ALlelx JOIiNST@N, Viac•Presidont. SAVCNGIS BANK; BRANCH. TOTICB TO DEPOSITORS.—THE Ontario Loan and Savings Company alto prepared to relcoivo deposits in the sum. of 415 af,t! upwards Mt!a rate of SIX P1311 CENT. porno. aura, FOit fix, l)loriods, or Five per. cent. odd viand. All intestmonts of this oomp,uy a o e ,. cured by mortgages on Beal lsis'tato, whish airBPtls to depositors the beet .possible security for"'thb' safety of their deposits, r'or further uartionlars apply by !otter, or at the office or the Company. an. 30 -Sm. Wht, O. BTJLL]3N Manager