The Exeter Times, 1878-10-3, Page 7061:08n11 3 1878
DOMINION NEWS. WIT AND HUMOR.
t lit r is to have a new terperanee
hall,
Cale. I.1 its auunel fall show on
Three s Friday .1 lase week.
Ti.=• s of 1 ger:e eel haul as bar -
vest :curalul, t'.• • Uoderieh tan
rlht 1
:1a bate eoist Mita filritr au
the ilc :, -.1, din -sets est of Dlial-
ton. re.. >11.I oliYtes.,
e, et,ae horse belonging to Ir.
Jas. I:...,., 01!'•tou. died on',Nessley of
last .t a•k from inilaanimatiotr.
tree full stem under tete atli pieee a'if
the (Trey Bre nett Aesietthteed Society
will he 1L. ;,t i • L, usr. a a • Elie aid ;IA
4th t: sec... 1•. r.
lases belonging t.. Mr. Woe
T(att, seed-. near IkrVtieltl, was recetett5
stuttleed to the heart by :,,moowean, its
hint ea wee1ele
Ma. L. J. Ilertaies
oats, left moth !tin
cm t: i,b Wallace"fie,
14t1: i„tit. ik Writ
the :i"etre Fair.
A : .. it vatuetl :til: t':
war w'n-.- isthend $1e,
3 stam
i set we
lug 1.41,.
f,: toorr
lalll'
e. r `F -es est
hale. t urea,
lee 0.1 by ki
Of a r, tt. it
FtPr c'r tt,t^� •
KIS
t1aE , C ate
ail,.,, t 4144..
huh—Alike, 1t, lit «:,'
111tlrt.a Iea"'tar,ret l
alae Colril":t.lty for ee
lieeluael Paella a y,
eeedrsee to. the 1'.x:,
day wart e. 1=ttteltee
watts Inlet be .flanwe tl
tae L' aS tt al
•iatl ori r,.A:
lhitiug, 1.
Of C111itull,
-IS Ile; Mr.
at the et. -
,v of tl;.
itll•ritt
lf.•i�l. ti
the 1,
e )seer P sl
aieiU at
:tuetett 1
$lit teels* ers.4
firs . As it.
the tet{earl:
17clr•rlrr
Fire Isle,;;,
to, was t t'
!apt
latest, whet.
i . i• 2l, who nee,
Ought a baker to drive a thorough-
breadhorse ?
There la noo scarcity of corn --strike
about a foot or two and you will find
aebera enough,
Somebody estimated that every man
who lives to be 00 years old has spent.
seven months bttttotliug his shirt -col-
lar, Thirty years more ought to be
• added for hunting up the collar-stud.
"It is a great pity" eta a judge to
ala embezzler, 'tee. you have loot your
ctiaraecter. ' "Yee, judge, se it is, es-
'socially a- it was the ouly character i,l
this toren worth saying,"
t -Die )-•.0 ever dabble in senores ?”
ateke.1 a lawyer of a eituess, Swho was
1Ci,'Wn to batty tied hone his native
Seim{ fee the Staetee. "Well, yes, I got
lay left in 'etre (,tree, in the Old Gmus-
try." was the reply
t N. faattr(xua i ieuiber of the church mil-
; t.antwas Narvar•a, the Sesesiatrd. As
sere was tsb:,trt to the, the preset asked,
T -Do yen forgive y Deur enemies ?" "11
1 s;:l,eent. a•tv ," ratite the soldier ; •'I Frlltat
1'. -6 eel air."
A sic.>;earald who was fuuutl: liut-
tiz.g lelin-elf onteiib' 1 varie,ua pond
) sillies at a tete id tate, jh t •ttt°er coill-
1,liti#rng of ir,ivart1 gripteg, (•Splieauetl
tt, ells trOlid(ern;! qtr. '4,, diet uta "did
..t want to leave 1st i r Obit setunl-
teh :tette."
1=ui.;i,trt 4•' (E•ii,.l:tW MU', CPltl-
1 to swing to itt. titer tlaaug.ete r'q. Iiunhaalid
rear w tluthi•a;;, of gambling, when a
7 51•lt•:ed l°,ek",r spiel trot, aiaatiieg, "Why,
1, test's not, a fault. 1.'e a virtue." "-But
en ort+,,. a,ttd the father iu-law, "he
mister. ell the sante."
•-t':tl'rlin," staid an old lady es a ship
wash, .. p •rs i:a et/1ruiy wr seller,
t 1 ,. e t ek tie tweed ?^'
;; , . ,i ,e,' replied tete captain,
• s 't\ -r t1, , ..rail the old lately, with a
reviessed air, 41 sot. po a we shall have
'- t • take the weaetri- t tt- it comes."
-1A. man sem a hi '4 1t Ilic Wa,ltitag
4 Ilona s lamely ht.,tlwaay at midnight.
a 1'te(• 01.n et )1111 ,^xttetly in the ulitidl(y
THE TIMES
his front steps :for a few days,because
we wanted to take them 'home for a
pattern. We thiol; Mies Magrauder
roust have entertained doubts of our
sanity, for she rivalled io, called her
father, and screamed. Magrauder
came down with a double-barrelled
gun. Tlreu we explained the situation.
iu a whisper, end he procured e. saw
and out out the piece of step to whish
we were attached. Then we went
home wearing the patoh, and before 2
o'clock crushed out our young love for
Miss Magrauder. We never called
again, and she threw herself away on a
dry -goods man. There is melancuoly
satisfaction in recalling these memor-
ies of youth, and reflecting upon the
influence of glue upon the human
heart,
hint for aptne Wheys.. 1?olteuy e~nstl
he lied none, and tl 1 . at once bit
!line ,ever the Bead, ta:< ceolg llilll dean.
1Vitilr on elle grouted O'Brien kiclte-a
and Arai• Doheny in ,tri numere;int
maiin(•r, taut finally rat.:+.wear with .itt•
trate•• 1 enutaiuiag the t1.litt. ,13nhet,s
immediately rose to heti 1. et, all streinn•
,log with Mood, and gave chose. Met t-
ing a policemen 1w told him what had
happened and O'Brien was arreated.
A detective arrived in Nailanee Sun-
day morning from Stratford, liming in
chargee itoland.dacltsou — with alia'ee
of William Jackson, 11illianr Winson,
ultu Hurray and Samuel Lindsay, the waisted stranger frau the East, leaving
Amer basing his right name—ane of weak eyes anti a big heart, ,walked in,
the counterfeiters charged with being saw there thus seated, and in about a
;onneeted with the gaug at 'Williame minute he asked of the husband, "Has
JOHN SOLDAN,
Has just commenced business one half mile
West of Daslewuod, and is prepared to clean
Clacks, Watches and Sewing Machines. Um-
brellas repaired and Organs and alelodians at.
tended to. These in want of his services
should biv° a hire a call before goit,g away from
home. °liatges moderate and entire satiafae-
tiun i;uarntecd.
ST. i1 U.R2'S LIMEW0R3i:S.
outdrawn kilns being now in full operation and
turning i,utdaily a largo quantity of
of lle• road, and tett, wayfar.'a, elreiding
tet illwe••tipates, pelted at, it with hie 11th-.
bridle.. The next iustatit he watt:
knocked twenty f et into a mud hole.
Marler,—Never poke an umbrella at a
large white mule when its back is tens-
ed.
In the ladies' waiting -roans at the
Central Depot tate ether day 'were a
newly -married couplefrom Grass Lake.
They ta.ul been visiting 1n the city ten
or three dayet, tend were then reedy to
go horde, They sat side by side, of
-course, his area around her waist, and
she leaning on his shoulder. A long -
villa anti liingeton for counterfeiting
and eircuia.tiug 25e, and 50e. pieces.
He is also ohargeti with being implica-
ted in the safe robborry at Centreville.
310 atiltnow1olgea being pursued by the
.3 ingston police and malting his escape
from Williamsville, but denies firing at
the police when pursued at Odessa.
The Department of State, 'Washing-
-ion, is in receipt of a dispatch from
-their Consul at Port Sarnia, in which
the number of emigrants seeking homes
in the Uuited States through that port
for the year ending Jttue 80, 1878, is
given as 30,010. Of this number 10,-
183 were Canadians from the Provinces
of Ontario and Quebec. The Cana-{
•diens were principally agriculturists,
.carrying with them to their new homes in our family for --The bride's eyes
that woman there got the tooth ache?"
Tile husband looked up itt surprise, but
aid nothing, but made no answer. Af-
ter two or three Minutes the long
waisted man again remarked, "If that
W0111/14 has got the toothaebe, I have a
bottle of peppermint in niy satchel.
here." The bride rolled her big eyes
around, and the husband looked some-
what embarrassed. The man from
down East unlocked his satchel and
fumbled among shirts and collars, and
brought up four ounces of peppermint
essence. He uuoorked it, touched the
conteuts of the bottle againet his big
red tongue, and, handing it forward to-
wards the husband, said, feelingly,
,'Just have her sop some on a rag and
rub her gums with it. We've used it
cannot
that ?oral! purposes
be -surpassed ill the Derain -
ton.
Palliest rout atdistance can Always beer stilled
either atthe kilns or deleverd lay tennis at law
est remunerative rates. Orders from a distance
yrrowptly;attended to.
W'HITSON epX SCLATER.
their horses, wagons, agricultural im-
plements, household effects, and iu a
-majority of cases money euuugh to
tturchese farms ; hence, the Consul
says. they luny bo regarded as a very
valnable acquisition to the ranks of
American industry.
e-esee 4
In a certain city a toper, while lately
wandering homeward at midnight, was
:se ed with a tipsy fancy to serenade
in, own wife. Accordingly, as be
nearest his domicile, he tnrued his
.coat inside out, stuckhis hat jauutily
upon one side of his head, and passing
into the yard, took his plane under her
window. It had occurred to hila that
:after the serenade he would very in-
euocently pass into the house, enquire
what noises that was, and appear to feel
highly incensed at the liberty taken
with his wife in his absence). Having
this all arranged in his own mind, he
cleared his throat, and commenced
Good night l good night, My dearest !
Row swift the moments fly !
To Isis own mind lie never sang better:
He was exceeding himself, and had just
struck out on the second stanza, when
the window was softly raised -his
heart trembled, "C)me along in -aiid
threw out sparks as she lifted her head
front its loving position and, striking
at the bottle, snarled out, "Tuthaehe,
you Mel" If you don't know the dif-
ference 'tween true live and the tuth-
acho, you had better go to grass with
the geese!"
hchighPrioeofFlour!
arm
does not effect the (•w prices at whish
etc T. BX$ S;TT
=offering their stock of
TINSVAIt1il, STOVES. Etc.,
et
Exeter & Hensall
ANTON
B O .
HAVE REMOVED TO THEIR NEW PREMISES IN
MR. ,EACs TT'S BLOCK!
OPPOSITII
Samwell t, Piekar€ls.
, .NTON BROS.
THE ,TER TIMES
which consists of all the latest and improved
styleaof Kitchen. Cook and Parlor stoves, !ilk
cans, pans, and pails of tine most approved
patte,n,and everything in the lino ; Also, a
goodseloetior of handsome
i{:fvc trour'hing
as usual, receives everyattention, and done
at the lowest figures.
Having opened outa branch astablishment
at Haman, our friends in that neighborhood
eau be supplied ou tho shortest notice,
Wo shall never forget, relates Max
Adler, that evening we spent at 11Ia-
grnder's years ago. We admired•I1Iies
itlagrander, and we went to see her, It
was summer time, and moonlight, and
she sat u poll the piazza. The car-
penters had been there that day gluing
up the lustio chairs on the porch, so
we took our seat on the step in front of
Miss Magrauder, where we could gage
into her eyes and drink her smiles. It
seemed probable that the oarpenter
must have upset the glue•pot ou the
spot where we sat, for, after enjoying
Miss Ittagrauder's smiles for a couple
of home, and drinking in several of
her smiles, we tried to riee for the pur-
pose of going home, but found that we
were immovably fixed tothe step.
Then Miss Magrauder said, "Don't be
in a hurry." And we told !ler we be-
lieved we wouldn't. TIie conversation
had a sadder tone after that, and we
sat there thinking whether it would be
better to ask Miss Magrauder to with -
go to bed, you noisy rowdy!" said the% drr.w, while we, disrobed and went
wife ---who. ,notwithstanding that he home in.Highlaed costume .or whether
,was disguised (itt liquor), recognized'
the "Ethiopian," as her spouse. The
song ceased,' the husband turned his
.coat right side out, adjusted his hat,
went iiaitto: the house, and went to bed.
—alone. - ,He, hasn't beau a Serenading
siicg,
we should give oe,e terrific wrench. and
thea ramble down the yard backward.
&bout midnight , Anse itiagrauder
yawned, and said she .believed she
would go to bed. Then we suddeuly
asked her if slib..thought her father
Mould have any, objeotiou to leading us
yi,:y,
THE GREATEST
'Wonders of Modern Times
liolloways Pills L4intrnent
The Pills Purify the Blood, correct all disorders
of the Liver, Stomach, Kidneys and Bowels, and
are invaluable in all complaints incidental to
Females.
The Ointment is the only reliable remedy for
Bad Legs, Old Wounds, Sores and Ulcer , of how-
ever long standing. For Bronchitis, Diphtheria
Colds,Gont, ltheumatisw, and all kin eases
h t.siloequal.
BEWARE OF
New Tork Counterfeits.
Spurious imitations of "Holloway's !Pi11F
and Ointment,' aro manufactured and said
under the name of " Holloway & Co.; by J. F-
u
giests, nry, urranandCalso& �• �,, Company, Drug -
c. k by the ISietro
p of it an sleds e cine eomuany of
New York, with _ =assumed trade In the County of Huron.
mark thus—
wise
x g u --Again uno
Joseph Haydocl }, •, of New ork,like-
wlse passes off .K i .• .: counterfeitsot his
own make under ' the name ofEca,
loway & Oo.,baving for a trade mark a Crosent
and Serpent; ntCliesson & Robbins of New York
are agents for the same.
These persons, the better to deceive you, un-
blushingly cantionthe public in the small books
of directions affixed to their medicines, which
are rocas, thospurious imitations, to Beware o
Counterfeits.
Unscrupulous Dealers o btain them at very
low prices and sell them to the cubic in Cana-
da as my genuine Pills and Oihtments.
Xmostearnestly and r.espectfullyappeal tothe ORDERS BY MAIL .OR OTHEWISE PROMPTLY AT-
Cie,•gy, to mothers of families and other ladies
and the public generally of British North Amari- TENDED T O
ea, that they may be pleased to denounce un- . r
sparingiy these frauds.
Purchasers should look to the label on the pots
and boxes. '1f the.aadress is not 588, Oxford
Street, London, they are the counterfeits, Each
pot andhox of the l lannine Medicines, bears the
British Government stamp, with the words
HoLLowAX'e PILLS AND oINTrit8xT, -London,'
engraved thereon: Cen the labol!e the address,
588 OL1ordStreet, T,ondoh,where alone they are
Manulacturod. Parties who may bo. defrauded
byVendors selling spuraovs "Hollowaysi?ills and
Ointment as my genn,ue wake sh, oil com-
municating the particulars to me, be amply re-
mt nested, and their x eine never divulge('!:
THOMAS BOL.uOWAY
seers xsord St;• W.O., Teuton, nekeand
BOOK and JOB
I'PI:\'lI\G i-IOTJSE.
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Printed on the Shortest Notice.
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est Advertising Medium
ria
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