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Times Advocate, 1994-8-31, Page 12Page 12 Times -Advocate, August 31, 1994 Another view... By Val Thomson The udder side of cows (and why they're so contented) For those of you who have never had the opportunity to work with cows, you might be surprised to discover that they are not always the quaint, gentle beasts that are portrayed on everything from wall- paper to oven mitts. Oh, they can be nice and gentle, even friendly, if they choose, but there is another side to the bovine personality. Some cows are just plain ornery, some are mean. Several years ago we had a cow that was a real nasty kicker. Usual- ly they get over it and settle down once they get used to being milked. We tried all kinds of things, but she wouldn't stop kicking. She didn't just kick to knock the milker off, she had definite intent to injure. We finally decided she wasn't worth the risk and we shipped her to market. We had another cow that wasn't too bad to milk but she didn't like being singled out of the herd to have anything else done to her. The first time we discovered this quirk was when the classifier was at our place. He and I were in the pen with this cow when all of a sudden she lowered her head and charged right at us! We both scrambled over the gate just in time. It's a good thing that temperament isn't includ- ed in classification. She was rated 'good' but as luck would have it, her stay was not meant to be a long one. She had poor feet and a poor udder so she had to go. We thought of attaching part of a TV aerial to her and send- ing' her out in a thunderstorm but decided that the insurance people wouldn't consider it an accident, should lightning strike her. So, she had to go for beef but we didn't know how we were going to get her onto the truck. Our problem was solved when another cow had to he shipped so we sent the two of them together without any trouble. When Cliff scrapes the barn h the bobcat, he takes down an elec- tric wire that keeps the heifers in. Usually they know enough to stay put, but on this one occasion one of the heifers took a notion to wander out of bounds4lnd head up towards the house. The Seed was overly ir- ritated by this and came racing after the heifer emitting some extremely colourful language. When she re- fused to co-operate, the Seed decid- ed he would wrestle her back into the barn. "You *#@!," he shouted as he latched onto her head. (I was watching the performance from the kitchen window). The heifer realty took offence at being manhandled and took off as if she was at the Calgary Stampede, the Seed still clutching onto her head. Then WHOMP, SPLAT they both hit the manure pile at full tilt. Well, the Seed was covered in manure and the heifer was back in her proper place so they both won that battle. 1 often wonder how much thought goes into what a cow does. Do they play dumb while they real- ly know what they are doing? For instance, when a cow stands on your foot, is it just reflex for them to shift most of their weight to that leg, or are they interested in seeing if a human foot can withstand 1,200 or so pounds on it? Now, tail switching is definitely done on purpose. Cows would have us believe that they are swatting at flies but they do it all year long, whether there are flies around or not. They spend hours practicing this movement, honing their timing and accuracy. They can flick their tail into your eyes, across your face and knock your hat off all in one swipe. I think there are more actions that are premeditated. If we were able to listen in on the bovine conversa- tions just before milking, we might hear something like this: "OK girls, listen up!" (This is #5 cow, Rae, who tears around the barn like a drill sergeant. The rest of the cows follow her orders be- cause they know they'll get bunted in the side later on if they don't). "It's almost milking time and I want to give you a last minute briefing on tonight's plans," says Rae. "First of all, remember to ignore the barking dogs at the hack of the barn. Don't enter the parlour until you're good and ready. Every so of- ten, I want one of you to stand half- way in the door and don't go in un- til you see the human leave the parlour to come out and chase you." "Let me go in first," offers Mar- sha, "I feel a loose dump coming on that will splatter nicely all over the cement floor and up die walls." "Ooh, nice touch," agrees Rae, "and you'll score bonus points if the humaras clean coveralls on and you m nage to splatter them too." "Want me to pull my famous 'cough -the -milker -off trick?" asks Rhoda. "Yeah, that would be great." (Rhoda has this trick mas- tered and performs it almost every milking. She waits until you're not looking, raises her head high and gives a' mighty heaving cough that shakes her whole body and gets the milker swinging wildly until it plops onto the floor.) "Pamela, how's that side-to-side shuffle of yours coming along?" "Not bad, Rae. I can get the milker to squawk enough to make the hu- man come running." "Good, good. Now. what else? Oh yes, Nancy, it's your turn to stand and block the exit door so that the cows that are done all pile up at the end of the parlour. There, / How small-town Ontario is coping with social change GUELPH - To find out how rural Ontario has been coping with mod- ern social and economic realities, University of Guelph anthropology professor Stanley Barrett revisited his home town. The result, Paradise - Class, Commuters and Ethnicity in Rural Ontario, reveals a class-conscious and ethnocentric society. The book explores a 30 -year span in a mid- sized southern Ontario town as it related to class divisions, racism, newcomers and commuting. The identity of the town - called "Para- dise" in the book - is not divulged, although it's situated within com- muting distance to Toronto. The book was an intensive three- year project, involving long periods when Barrett actually lived in the. Town as a participant observer. He interviewed more than 300 town natives and newcomers and re- searched archives from the town and. the Ontario Agricultural Mu- seum. Until the late 1960s, "Paradise" was almost entirely British. A mas- sive invasion of city dwellers in the 1970s and '80s brought about a transformation of the ethnic compo- sition. Asian Canadians and Afri- can Canadians arrived in increasing numbers along with white ethnics. The chapter "British Subjects and Aliens" looks at early problems en- countered by assessment officials in determining the racial origins of the town's population. "British sub- jects and aliens" was a term used on assessment forms until 1964, I think that's enough for tonight, don't you girls? It's almost time. Everyone to their positions. Re- member our motto: 'Be aggravat- ing, not mean' otherwise you'll end up taking a ride on that big blue truck never to return. OK here we go. Have fun!" A hush falls over the herd as Marsha enters the parlour first. Squirt, plop, splash! "Why you dir- ty old #$*@!," shouts the human. A ripple of cow chuckles spreads through the crowd and Rae smirks contentedly. I'll bet you thought the look of content on a cow resulted from the way HUMANS treated COWS. .4110 when it was replaced with "nation- ality." Interested in comparing the 1950s with the '80s, Barrett "won- dered how Ontario towns had oper- ated in the past. Were they one big (Al.. happy family? Were they egalitari- an?" He found they were rigid in their stratification. In the past, it was al- most as if one was born rich or poor and expected to remain so. The rich served on town council and basically "ran the town." he says. Today, the rich and poor arc less visible, and the rich have stepped hack from serving on coun- cil, primarily because it no longer holds the power. [TY _ions donate $8,000 to Exeter pool The Exeter lions Club came through on their promise to help pay for renovations to the Exeter Public Pool with a cheque for $8,000 presented Monday evening. The presenta- tion was made on the air at the Lions weekly televised bingo, the proceeds from which were used for the donation. From left are Lions members Tom Hartai and Jamie Grant, who presented the big cheque to South Huron Recreation Centre Board chairman Dave Urlin. umrner LUES Don 't miss this tremendous savings opportunity... Diriry's huge selection gives you the best in choic and value plus our vest prices of the season. 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