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Times-Advocate, 1984-04-18, Page 7Page 6 Times -Advocate, April 18. 1984 Setting up roadblocks for good communication A little boy, showing his friend the doormat in front of his house with the words 'Welcome' on it, said, "That's the first thing 1 learned to read. It says, 'Wipe your feet." It reminds me of the times we say one thing to a person and mean something else. We may tell our child, "For goodness sakes, pick up your part best, and about the only time someone else gets a chance to speak is when we run out of breath. St. James says the tongue can be like a wild horse out of control, or a spark that can start a mighty fire leaving on- ly carnage in its wake. We can build people up, or tear them down with our tongues. We can wound or soothe. It seems to me... by Gwyn Whilsmith MR. AND MRS. GEORGE McCORMICK Mary Anne, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Clem Regier, RR 2, Zurich, and George McCormick, son of Mr. and Mrs. Bob McCormick, RR 1, Ilderton, were married October 15, 1983 at St. Peter's R.C: Church, St. Joseph by Father Gary Ducharme. Matron of honour was Cheryl Gelinas, friend of the bride, and bridesmaids were Bonnie, Pati and Lisa, sisters of the bride, and Diana Luczynski, friend of the bride. Best man was Dale Donaldson, friend of the groom, and ushers were Jim and Dove McCormick, brothers of the groom, Dave Regier, brother of the bride and Scott McCormick, nephew of the groom. Following a honeymoon to the Poconos Mountains, the couple took up residence in London. Showing compassion A film on how to besuppor- tive and compassionate is be- ing shown this month in the cafeteria of South Huron District High School. The title of the film is People of Refuge, featuring Charles Swindoll. In the film Swindoll describes how to provide those who are lonely with friendship, and how to offer comfort to those in distress. Charles Swindoll is a pastor in the first Evangelical Free Church Fulferton California. He is nationally known through a growing ministry in literature and radio called In- sight for Living. He has writ- ten many books which include "Strike the Original Match," You and your child", "Second Wind a Fresh Run at Life" and many others. People of Refuge will be shown Thursday April 26 at 8. p.m. in the South Huron District High School cafeteria. It is sponsored by Exeter District Ladies Com- munity Fellowship. To Compliment Your Spring Fashions... It's In The Bag! clothes, your room is a mess," but what we actually communicate to that child is "You're so hopeless, you can't do anything without me telling you." We greet a friend with, "Hello, how are you?" but our hurried tone communicates, "I really haven't time to listen..' We can say, "I'll stiow you how to do it," but our actions and voice implies, "You're reallystupid."' Ex- perts claim only 7 percent of what we communicate is ver- bal. The rest lies in such things as vocal pitch, inflec- tions and facial expressions. To be a good communicator takes a lot of practice and has three different areas: talking, listening and understanding. Most of us like the 'talking' The listening part is just as important as talking, but harder. Believe it or not, we only hear about 20 percent of what is said to us. That's because we don't really listen; so we need to learn to talk less and listen more. So- meone has pointed out that God gave us two ears and on- ly one mouth! Sensitive listening is active- ly caring about what the other person is saying, which brings about the third part of com- municating: understanding. We need to train ourselves to look behind the thought ex- pressed in the words people speak to us. We must stop be- ing prickly, and instead of becoming defensive about something someone has said, look beyond at what the speaker is really saying, and why. AU of us want to com- municate with the people around us, yet we constantly set up road blocks. We're afraid to give others room to share their feelings because TO MARRY — Malcolm and Mary Ellen Kirkland of Kit- chener announce the engagement of their daughter, Martha Elizabeth, to Anthony James Weir, son of Jim and Teresa Weir of Owen Sound. The marriage will take place Moy 12 at 3 p.m. at Forest Hill United Church, Kitchener. we can't risk having them ex- pose themselves to us. We provoke guilt in people and break down communication by saying such things as, "It's all your fault.... ". We can make communication dif- ficult by trying to keep the peace at any cost and thus build up resentments. And, some of us are great at second guessing our children and spouses so that we finish their sentences the way we think they should be finished. We need to try very hard to be honest in all parts of our communications....to say what we mean, to actively listen, to be sensitive to the speaker. It seems to me it would probably be a lot better if our doormats said, "Wipe Your Feet" if that's what we mean, instead of saying "Welcome" and resenting the dirt that gets tracked in. You really can't beat loving hones- ty for good 'communications. 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The wedding will take place Saturday, April 28, 1984 of 3:00 p.m. in St. Boniface Church, Zurich, Ont. Open recep- tion to follow in Exeter. Everyone welcome. Sorority chapter choose new slate An interesting report on the history of the Mardi Gras was given by Maude Connon. Court Whist was played and enjoyed by all for the rest of the evening. Prizes were awarded for high and low scores as well as one for the lucky chair. In keeping with Shrove Tuesday pancakes were serv- ed for lunch by Elsie and Maude. March 20, the meeting was held at the home of Mary Ellison. Sally Lou Raymond Elsie Tuckey was hostess to Beta Theta Chapter's meeting, March 6, The Ways and Means committee sug- gested a Silent Auction. Final plans for the dance and Founder's Day were made. ...for that Special Occasion WeIdinj JrnvifafionJ and Acceiioriei Select your invitations from our collection of traditional and contem- porary designs. Socially correct thermo- engraving complements the elegance of our wed- ding stationery. Ask to see our many wedding accessories too.. b..17 n ti.\ M.W.w. limes Advocate, Main St. Exeter 233.1331 stated all the arrangements had been made for Daffodil Day. March 30. Mary Ellison opened ,the program by telling everyone about the life of St: Patrick. Sne introduced Mary Jane MacDougall who showed slides about the year that her family spent in Ireland. Dessert was served by the hostess and Eileen Ross. April 4 the chapter went to the play "Anything Goes'; in St. Marys. The evening end- ed with lunch at Elsie Witte- veen's and she was assisted by Donna Jones. The April 10 meeting was held at the home of Bev Delbridge. Election of officers was held: president Elsie Tuckey, vice president -Donna Jones, secretary Mary Ellison. corres. secretary Diane Jeffery and treasurer Donna Webster. Lunch was served by the hostess and Phyllis Johnson. Send a basket full of spring. Easter is , Sunday, April 22. The Easter Basket Bouquet from your FTD' Florist. IT Moor( PEDLAR 414 Mein St.. E..»t, Ontat,o CENTRE MALL Poon.. 2364721 Thurs., 9 - 9 Fri. 10 - 4, Sat. 9 - 6 Send your thoughts with special ® care. 1 SAVE 8 6 ORANGE PEKOE SALADA TEA BAGS Pkg. of 60 1.89 SAYE 510 BONUS ALL PURPOSE FIVE ROSES FLOUR 11 Kg Rag FABRIC SOFTENER FLEECY 3.61 Jug 2.49 E.D. SMITH GARDEN COCKTAIL 28 Oz Bottle DOLE PINEAPPLE Crushed, tidbits or sliced 19 Oz. Tin SAVE .36 WHOLE KERNEL OR CREAMED CORN GREEN OR WAX BEANS FRENCH STYLE GREEN BEANS GREEN GIANT VEGETABLES 59 SAVE 1.30 VAC PAC MAXWELL HOUSE COFFEE Reg., auto or filter drip - 369 g Pkg. z.69 ALL VARIETIES OF TAB, SPRITE and COKE + 30t Dep. COKE TINS 6.99 PURE MITCHELL'S APPLE JUICE 48 Oz. Tin .93 IP E HOSTESS POTATO CHIPS Assorted flavours 200 g Bag 1, .09 111111RHETS We Deliver 235.0212 •