Times Advocate, 1998-01-28, Page 4Page 4 Times -Advocate, January 28; 1998
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Fro-om far and wide, Oh -o Canada
Bryan,aiow could you!
We in Canada are accustomed to for- clothing -is made in Brazil, our applianc-
es.are Japanese, our favorite wines come_
from France, our chocolate treats from
Switzerland: Yet we are Canadian.
Being Canadian to most of us has
something to do with maple syrup,..
Pierre Berton, ice hockey, the "loonie"-
and the RCMP Musical Ride. It means
two languages •on some of the road -
signs, "beer that tastes like a beer", and
an intense modesty about our history.
We know what we are not - English or
even worse, American. We do not trust
people who try to cross our borders with
a hand gun in -the glove compartment, or
downhill- skis on the roof rack in.July.
We get annoyed when people laugh at
ourcolorful currency and call it "funny
money", or say "zee" instead of "zed":
And we are outraged when travelling -
abroad and people ask if we are Ameri-
can or British.
• A number of authors, some of whom •
-are Canadian, have tried to pinpoint the
Canadian identity and have discovered it
is rather like nailing room -temperature,
Jello to the wall: Nationalism to aCana-
dian is something philosophical, not to
be said out loud. Patriotism is something
we regard as a bit embarrassing, unless
it involves hockey (no matter that we
have a valid claim on both basketball
and baseball). :
However vague �
we are at explaining
what.exactly is the Canadian identity,
we have no intention of signing up to
become thefifty-first state. Make no
mistake, we are Canadian, and we are
proud.
Just.so everyone knows - we have a
prime minister ,not a president; we have
provinces and territories, not states; the
last letter in the alphabet is "zed" not
"zee"; and the stem of the maple leaf.on
our Flag -points down, not up. Simple
enough, eh? :
tainment is made in Hollywood, our
eigners at major sports events man-
gling the words to our national anthem,
and even Flying our Flag upside down.
But Bryan Adams is Canadian, one of
our own. We cannot forget or forgive
this. one with a supercilious sneer, and a
patronizing; "They're Americans,' after
-
Bryan was selected to. sing 0 Canada
at the recent NHL -All Star game in -
Vancouver.
It seems ironic that a performer who
has protested about being -snubbed -by
the Canadian music industry, would
make such a serious blunder as forget-
ting the words to our national anthem.
Only in Canada, you say?
Before we point fingers. perhaps each ".
of us should take pen in hand and try to
write out the words_ Bryan bungled so.
publicly. There will be more than a few,
'of us, patriotic to the bone; who man-
..age,
an-
:age, as he.did, to come up with the
words so carefully memorized in grade
school - the old version, not the updat-
ed one.. And it is easy enough to, lip-
synch with a roomful of people; Bryan
was on his own. . •
To be honest, Bryan did not forget the
words, he simply forgot someone had' ,
changed them a couple of decades aga.
The more charitable will no doubt un-
derstand his gaffe for what it likely
was, confidence in his Canadian identi-
ty.'A singer might -(and then again, •
might not) study the =words to a foreign
anthem, but the words to his own -
should come as naturally as breathing.
Bryan's .problem was, they did not, and
he proved it in front of the television
cameras, at a hockey game, no less.
Most of us are like Adams - not as
wealthy, talented or.famous, true, but
we call ourselves Canadian without
bothering to put much thought into it:
He travels around the world by jet; -we
do so via the television. set. Our enter-
•
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1998
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Missiles and musings
By Craig Bradford
If I was king of Lucan (going mad over the Donnellys)
Oh the changes I would make if I
was king of Lucan:
Yes, 1 know Lucan has a reeve
and a council that is elected and -an-
swers to the taxpayers. And a' gal-
axy of guidelines and a raft of rules
from the federal and provincial
governments make sure .. people
don't make snap huge decisions on
a whim.
-But if 1 was head honcho of the,
sleepy village of about 1,900 souls
there wouldbe quite a shake-up:
The list of changes is •so long it ri-
vals Santa's naughty and nice mas-
ter file.•
So rather than bore you with the
gory details, -I'll share my biggest
wish for Lucan: that theyembrace
the Donnellys.
What is Lucan known for besides
its .Irish roots? The Donnelly clan.
of course. Their marauding; ways
and bloody exit from this earth arc
legendary across Canada. A well
known Canadian filmmaker is even
planning on shooting a movie about
the Donnellys for .world-wide dis-
tribution.
Yet there- are no signs, no
plaques, nothing to scream to out- -•
of-towners along the main drag that
Lucan is the proud- hometown of
the Donnellys.
There is a sign on a business that
says something' likc "buy your
Donnelly T-shirts here" but that's
it, The gravy site is- at the hack of
St. Pat's cemetery and there'sno
historical plaque at the homestead
(though the current property owner
is known for' sometimes'putting a
rough sign on his lawn). .
Argue all you want about how
playing up the Donnellys will at-
tract vandals. (the. original black
gravestone with thefamous "mur-
dered" inscriptions -had 'to be re-
moved); that using the Donnellys as
a economic tool is distasteful, Lu-
canites don't want to be .sensation-
-alistic, relatives of the murdering
mob still live in the area, etc..
if the-L•ucanpowers-that be. em-
braced the Donnellys and tooted
their_ horns more I'd guarantee
• there would be heightened tourist
flow through the 'burg
huying Donnelly knick- The
Donnellys or be one of the mob -
members that did them in. The
name Donnelly would be in green
and gold neon throughout the vil-
lage. Streets would be renamed to
.reflect every nuance of the Donnel-
lys. How's Murder Lane or Donnel-
ly Crossroads or Saintsburied Line
suit you?
_ All kidding aside, Lucan should
take better advantage of its dark
not -so secret. Going with the Don=
nelly • flow could mean thousands
more dollars finding their way into
• the pockets of Lucan businesspeo-
ple and into village coffers. it could
be done in a tasteful. re-
spectful way.
Take St. Thomas for
example. They em-
braced the fact the most
famous elephant in the
world, Jumbo, became a
hood ornament for a lo-
comotive there. They've
sold oodles of Jumbo
shirts, pins; buttons, etc.
over the years and continue to do so
although their new focus is trying to •
become the Railway Capital of
Norah America (they're no where
near that status yet). Businesses are
called Jumbo this and Jumbo that; a
massive statue of the beast points
its butt northeast upon Hwy. 4 at
the tourist caboose.
Come on Lucan, get with it and
follow the St. Thomas example —
go Donnelly mad and start raking in
that blood money! .
name
knacks like personalized Donnelly _
clubs, little horses and would be in
carriages,, bloody sham-
rocks and so on. green and
• But noes council say • gold neon
hurrah and order up a throughout
thousand extra Black the village.
Donnelly Ts? Not even
close. Lucanites have •
long been :embarrassed about the
Donnellys and want nothing more
than people to forget about them.
Not •me. Though 1 don't)ive in
lucky Lucan, I would paint the
town with Donnelly stuff. Donnelly
T-shirts, hats and keychains would
he sold everywhere.. There'd he
Donnelly re-enactments during
Donnelly Days, a Donnelly ham-
burger (with extra ketchup), a Don-
nelly casino, Donnelly, hoard.
games. a Donnelly theme park
where you can get beaten by the
A View from Queen's Park Elected officials as likely to get in trouble
TORONTO -- Being elected to the Ontario
Legislature is no longer much of a guarantee of
respectability -- two former MPPs have gone to
jail in a week.
A few days after Alan Eagleson, a Progres-
sive Conservative, was sentenced to 18 months
for defrauding hockey associates, Will Fergu-
son, who had been energy minister in the New
Democrat government in the early 1990s, was
jailed for a week for punching his estranged
wife.
Told by the judge that he is an alcoholic, Fer-
guson certainly also had bad luck. Having
'come from an impoverished background, he
was managing well enough in politics when he
had to step down as a minister while police in-
vestigated a woman's claims that 20 years earli-
er, when both were teenagers, he helped her
escape from a reform school and had sex with
her.
The charges against him were dismissed, but
he never was reinstated as a minister and quit
the legislature in disgust. He is remembered for
joking that when the allegation of long -ago sex
was made against him, his wife had said, "Hon -
By Eric Dowd
ey, you're pretty good, but you're not that good
that somebody's going to remember you for 20
years," and then apologizing for making light of
the allegations.
In fact, members or former members of the
legislature have not been in trouble with the law
as often as having two jailed in a week would
suggest.
Bill Vankoughnet, a Tory MPP, was arrested
in 1996 and charged with soliciting an under-
cover policewoman posing as a prostitute, but
the charge was withdrawn after he attended a
school for offenders.
Vankoughnet had been elected boasting that
he was committed to basic values. Some in his
Tory riding association wanted him to resign,
but he hung on, insisting he was now "a good
person and will live a good life."
In 1992, former Tory MPP Terry Jones, who
had been in the legislature 10 years and deputy
Speaker until defeated, was jailed for six months
for defrauding investors in land development
schemes. He had promised he would double or
triple their money, but told the court he was
bankrupt.
in 1985, Ted Bounsall, an NDP MPP before
losing in 1981, was caught leaving a store with
a $7 bottle of vitamins he had not paid for,
found guilty of theft and given an absolute dis-
charge, which ended his plans to run again.
Bounsall provided the most worthwhile mo-
ment for a backbencher in memory when he
brought in a private member's bill in 1979 re-
quiring equal pay for work of equal value
which was overwhelmingly approved in princi-
ple by the legislature, although not implement-
ed until after the Tory , government was turfed
out in 1985. •
In 1981 Albert lelanger, who had been Tory
deputy whip, was fined $750 for fraud because
he filed a claim as creditor of a bankrupt com-
pany to which he was not entitled as an official
of the company.
The judge said Belanger should have obtained
proper legal advice. But his problem could also
have been unwillingness to speak up: Belanger
while in the legislature did not say a single
word from 1968 to 1979, a record in recent
times.
John Brown, a former New Democrat MPP,
was sentenced to three years in jail in 1979 for
defrauding the province in billing for homes he
ran for*emotionally disturbed children.
A social worker both praised and criticized
for his innovations, he went into politics to get
back at the Tories, but proved too egotistical to
fit in even his chosen party. The judge said he
did exceptional work for children.
NDP members have been jailed in recent
years for blocking a logging road and refusing
to identify a source of information that led to a
laboratory being charged with defrauding tax-
payers, and a Tory minister was fined for au-
thorizing a highway extension before it had full
environmental approvals, but these are not
quite in the same category.
The number of offences does not suggest that
there is a crime wave among MPPs or that the
legislature should be closed as a breeding
ground for criminals.
But it does suggest those who are elected are
as likely to get in trouble as the rest of the
community, and are no better and no worse.