Times Advocate, 1996-10-09, Page 13._s��,...-wr-.7'�-�•r-sem+. r, fir^ '7
Second Section - October 9 1996
Workshop helps improve self esteem
By Brenda Burke
T -A Reporter
EXETER - Laughter, tears and a new
awareness marked Saturday's experiences
as 20 women departed from a one -day self-
esteem workshop at the Francis Fletcher
Training Centre.
Begun initially for Mary Kay
representatives, the session,
taught by Neuro -Linguistic "We're taught
Programming Practitioner Ruth
Cooper, expanded to include as women to
others. First Cooper outlined ut eve bolt'
the day's objectives: to gain an p y
understanding of issues else first.
affecting self-esteem, use tools
to change, feel good, have fun
and become aware of personal needs.
"Quite often we live in our minds, not in
our bodies," she said.
Using NLP, the study of human
communication, as her basis, Cooper
pointed out conflicts tend to arise between
people when perspectives and beliefs clash
and we tend to think everyone has the same
"map of the world."
"We are all born with perfect self-
esteem," she told the group, adding that
quality is gradually eroded by negative
feedback. Women tend to define themsdlves
by others, she added, and often fall into the
trap of striving for perfection.
"There's no such thing as failure," she
stressed. "Mistakes are feedback...It's a case
of .... finding out what we're good at."
Cooper also discussed how to change
negative self -talk.
"These voices in our head are extremely
powerful," she warned.
Suggestions were also made on how to:
get in touch with oneself, solve inner
conflicts, increase assertiveness, gain
personal power, express anger
constructively, create rapport with
others and use the strength of self -
affirmations, self-love and
meditation.
"Prioritize what's important in
your life," she suggested. "We're
taught as women to put everybody
else first."
She added people are also not taught to
express their feelings or deal with criticism
and anger.
"For women, their most common response
to anger is to stuff it," she said. "Directing
your anger is the only constructive
response."
And to improve rapport with others, she
suggested, try mirroring their body language
and speech patterns so they feel more in tune
with you.
Fletcher, an independent sales director
with Mary Kay, hopes to offer additional
workshops of interest to the public such as
stress management.
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Ruth Cooper, a Neuro -Linguistic Programming practitioner in Grand Bend, demonstrates how
messages are undermined when our facial expression and body language don't match what
we say.
Below, the workshop Involved participants working out self esteem issues in small discussion
groups. This one involves practicing the appropriate expression of anger. From left is Tracy
Gower, Joanne Bell, Cindy Sutherland and Doreen Dech.
Ruth Cooper, who normally applies NLP techniques one -one -one, works with a workshop
participant Cheryl Edwards to show how the technique of mirroring an individual's body
language can increase rapport.
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