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Times Advocate, 1994-01-26, Page 4Page 4 Times -Advocate, January 26, 1994 Publisher: Jim Beckett "News Editor: Adrian Harte Business Manager: Don Smith Composition Manager: Deb Lord 4 CCN Publications Mall Registration Number 0386 ;;UBSCRIPTION RATES: CANADA Within 40 miles (65 km.) addressed to non,Notter carrier addresses 830.00 plus 82.10 O.S.T. Outside 40 miles (65 km.) or any letter carrier address 830.00 plus 830.00 (total 60.00) 4. 4.20 O.S.T. Outside Canada 899.00 (Includes 588.40 postage) Opinion E1)1'1'O1ZIAI, Bobbitt verdict flawed Lorena Bobbitt was found not guilty Friday of a crime many find dif- ficult to speak of, or others find titillat- ing enough to make jokes about. The jury found her not guilty by rea- son of insanity. Slicing off her hus- band's penis earned her a 45 -day psy- chiatric evaluation. What that means exactly is a little unclear. What if she is found not under any effects of "in- sanity"? Nevertheless, there are those who be- lieve she is not guilty in any case - that cutting off a portion of her husband's body was somehow justified, given the duress of their marital situation. Others believe this will give the green light to other women contemplating desperate acts as a means to fight back against abusive mates. The verdict is inherently flawed. Bobbitt did mutilate her husband, and can society accept that as a reasonable course of action in any situation, re- gardless of the circumstances? Had Bobbitt cut off the penis of a murderer, she might well have been found guilty - BLUE RIBBON AWARD 1993 "Mqn are never so likely -to gettle a question rightly as when they discuss it freely." ... Thomas Macauley Published Each Wednesday Morning at 424 Mato St., Exeter, Ontario, NOM 156 by 1.W. Eedy Publications Ltd. Telephone 1-519-235-1331 a.ti.T.'R105210931 murderers these days ranking higher on the evolutionary scale than abusive hus- bands. Any woman in an abusive partnership has one clear course of action - leave. That is the only sane, sensible thing to do. Unfortunately, our courts and socie- ty do not make that easy. Leaving the home waives rights to property, in some jurisdictions. It makes child custody battles more difficult. It even goes against the teachings of some cultures and religions that still feel men hold spe- cial rights in a household. That is where society needs to be re- built. Laws need to recognize the rights of women to leave their partners, with- out giving up status in their communi- ties, and legal access to property. Men have to understand, in all situations, that abuse in a relationship leads to the loss of that relationship. Women should not have to crouch down in fear when confronted with abuse. But this does not mean their proper recourse is to return the violence, with carving knife or otherwise. A.D.H. Your Views Letters to the editor Definition of Lady "Response to letter to the editor regarding CDN Tire Car Care ad." Dear Editor: This letter is in response to the submission made by Jenny Ellison, of Exeter entitled "Ladies car car; sexist", and published in your January 19th, 1994 edition. Having read and investigated the Canadian Tire advertisement in question I have formed a studied opinion which is not in agreement with the interpretation as stated by your Exeter reader. My response is couched in a manner which I trust is in keeping with the restrictions of political correctness. Should the Exeter person enquire beyond her own code of acquaintances, 4s others do, she will discover that the gen'irral opinions involved interpret and accept thc advertisement as a measure to provide an often requested service which may help stimulate the ringing of cash register bells (much needed just now) and not as a delibe studied insult intended to denigrate a certain sectio society. It is quite evident in the world today that trendy organizations will accept as correct only those words, phrases and actions which are convenient to their own belligerant stance. In the Exeter person's dtecting to the term "Lady or Ladies" it becomes quite evident that only one of the many societal definitions has been considered and selected. Notice should be taken of the fact that the official Canadian encyclopeadia dictionary contains almost six pages of reference to the "Lady" term of.address. Highly educated and intelligent social and scholastic authorities have determined that the almost universal acceptance of the term "Lady"is - "a woman whose manners, habits and sentiments. bear the characteristic of refinement. Andrew W.H. Hoe Zurich I i Peter's .Point• By Peter Hessel "Dad, can I have a dollar?" I'd like to have a dollar for every time I heard this question. If you're an experienced father like me, you'll have long ago devised your own defence system. You'll know how to answer the question and what to do. But if you have just joined the ranks of those fathers (or mothers) whose kids have barely graduated from nursery school, you may benefit from suite advice. e are a number of approaches for dealing with such request. easiest and least frustrating is the Direcj, Approach: hand the kid a looney, and don't ask any questions. However, this approach is also the least challenging; it's too easy. I reserve the Direct Approach for times when I'm in a particularly great t 1 SING ALONG WI"I'I I BOB Hold that thought... By Adrian Harte The infomercial goes prime time I thought it a reasonably sensible - decision those months ago when the Huron -Perth Separate School board decided against the use of certain free educational program- ming. The deal was the board would get all kinds of free televi- c e ,,n,1 CP , if iho c„hcrrilwit to the service. The programs were touted to be top-notch educational stuff...but there was a catch. The programs came along with adver- tisements, for main stream products aimed directly at the teen market. The board said thanks, but no thanks. I had to agree. Now we hear a Toronto area board is willing to give Pepsi exclu- sive rights to sell its pop in its schools. There's a million dollars 'Or so in it for the board. Well, why not? The kids are going to drink pop anyway, what difference docs one brand mak9 over another? The boards -ate looking for cash anywhere they can find it, but many doubt it's the right thing to do. Once, while skiing over thc bor- der. I came across that fascinating aspect of late-night American tele- vision - the infomercial. Just about every channel had half-hour pro- grams peddling everything from sunglasses to tooth whiteners. Well, if someone's bored enough to sit up late (like me), but dumb enough to actually watch, that's their problem. Television stations have trouble getting advertisements for late night shows anyway, and if some company is wil!ing to pay you to ctay nn the air - who does it hurt? Trouble> is, Sunday night I think I saw an infomercial, in prime time. A made -for -television movie aired on NBC Sunday. Called Treasure Island. it had the trap- pings of a low budget production, and was billed as a children's mo- vie. Within the first few minutes I re- alized the show's executive produc- er, one of the characters, and the real-life owncr of a Las Vegas casi- no/hotel were one and thc same. Put that together with recent news items about how Las Vegas wants to push its image as a family tourist destination and you have the mak- ings of an infomercial. Yes, the movie had a plot, char- acters, and enough adventure to qualify as a kids' show, but an un- derlying thcmc appeared to he how this was all part of a family experi- ence in Las Vegas. I hear a hig part of producing Hollywood movies these days is to find sponsors for the products seen in the film. If the star is doing hurry. Next. comes the Linguistic Approach. The object is to teach the kid some grammar (again). "You don't say 'can I', you say "may I'. „Why?" "Because 'can I' is poor Elnglish." Smart kids will quickly correct themselves at that point, without further argument, and sweetly beg: "Dad, may I please have a dollar, please, Dad, may I please?" But I know very well that next time the words will be "can I" again. I've tried and failed with the Historical Approach: "When I was a kid, I had to chop wood for three hours to earn one penny, and it would have taken me 300 hours to earn a dollar..." Then there is the Economic Approach. It used to work better when the kids were younger. "So you want a dollar, do you? And what contribution to the household economy are you willing toake for a laundry, a company making soap might as well pay a few thousand to have their name appear on the box. What is a little alarming is this is all done surreptitiously. The late- night infomercials are honest in their hucksterism. But sneaking ad- vertising into other shows and mo- vies seems a little untrustworthy. A student who sees a pop company logo in the school day in and day out probably doesn't think much about how it got there, or who's paying whom for the students to see it. Maybe we'll even see a return to the early days of television when the stars ended up their shows with a direct plug for a particular brand of cigarette, or the latest car from Detroit. They're all edited out of the re -runs, but they were a part of everyday television in the '50s and '60s. I'm sure I don't want to see a re- turn to those days, but then again, if somebody wants to sell me some thing, I'd rather they just came rig�t out f nt and made their pitch. Filmj(ig your own movie and pc dlitn it to a hig network seems j a little too sneaky to be in good' taste. Dad, can I have a dollar? dollar? Shovel the front alk, like I asked you?" I sometimes have su cess with the Rational Approach. "Why do u want a dollar?" What are you going to buy with it?" Rather than explaining why a chocolate bar is absolutely essential at this pasrticular time, a kid may find it easier to give up. That way the parent saves a dollar. Then there is the Educational Approach: "Let me teach you something about the value of money. Now you think, that a dollar grows on trees. In actual fact a dollar has to be earned. By somebody working or sellingor providing a service...." It works extremely well, because our kids hate nothing so much as being bored to death by a pompous, postulating parent. Since there are three children at our house, 1 always have to consider the Multiplier Effect. "Can I have a dollar?" With the multiplier effect, this means three st dollars, because the ears of our kids arc provided with special sensortthat pick up messages about the transfer of money. no matter where in the house such a transfer is taking place. In other words, if I give Alex a dollar in the family room, Stephanie will immeidately know about it in her room, and Duncan will hear about it in the bathroom. When Stephanie asks me for a S5 grant to subsidize the purchase of yet another sweatshirt, I may as well take 815 from my wallet, because within minutes Duncan and Alex will know about it and demand their fair share. 1 could tell them (again) that fairness has nothing to do with generosity. If I feel like making a gift to one child, the othe two aren't automatically entitled to equal value.tt. ey have a way of pushing my guilt button, and it's always easier to give in to pressure than to resist it. Do you know of any other approaches? Please, write to me in care of the editor.