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Times Advocate, 1989-11-01, Page 3Times -Advocate, November 1; 1989 Rewards of foster parenting outweigh the challenges By Yvonne Reynolds EXETER - "Lots of love", is the main ingredient in Jim and Shirley Wilkinson's recipe for caring for foster children. The Wilkinsons were among a number of Huron County couples honoured recently at a banquet hosted by Family and Children's Services in the Blyth Community Centre. The couple has cared for 37 chil- dren in the past 20 years, and cur- rently are foster parents to two - and -a -half -year-old Steve, his younger sister Samantha, and Ha- zel, 15. "This is something I always wanted to do," said Shirley, cud- dling little Samantha. "I agreed to give it a try," Jim added as he engaged in a friendly wrestling match with brown -eyed Steven. When Steve and Samantha first arrived, Steve could not walk, and his sister's back was covered with sores from being kept in a portable car seat 24 hours a day. Now the two are healthy, active little peo- ple, hardly still for a moment. Two sisters, aged nine and 10, were the first foster children sent to the Wilkinsons by Huron County One big, happy family - The Wilkinson family pose on their front steps. At the back are (left) Steve and Dennis -Wilkinson. Shirley and Jim hold foster children Samantha and Steve. On the lower step are foster daughter Haze!, and adopted daughter Brenda. Missing: Julie Wilkinson. ramify and Children's Services. Their own son Steve was then a 17 -month-old toddler. Steve, now a strapping 21, is the oldest in a family that has grown to include Julie, 19, Dennis, 15 and Brenda, 16. The Wilkinsons flew to the Northwest Territories for their chosen child, Brenda, a native Indian. Asked how he felt about sharing his parents and his home, Steve Wilkinson replied that fostering has made him appreciate his fami- ly. He "likes kids"; this shows in the way young Steve and Samantha go as readily to him for a bottle or a hug as they do to "mum" and "dad" Wilkinson. "Every foster child has fined in with our own children," Shirley noted. Acceptance by immediate family and the community are also essen- tial to successful fostering. Both Jim and Shirley's families treat the foster children the same as they do their blood -related nieces and nephews. Everyone receives gifts at Christmas, and is included in all family activities. Shirley has high praise for their neighbours both when they lived in Elimville, and now that they are in Exeter. She recounts the kindness shown by the teenage boys in the Elimville community who were "so good" to Darryl, a mentally handi- capped foster child. "They made him feel like a big, important person," she said. The Wilkinsons, have opened their home and their hearts to every- one from newborn babies waiting for adoption; youngsters who have been abused in every possible way, to teenagers who can not get along at home. The majority are from sin- gle -parent families. Only one, a boy of 10, had to be sent back to Children's Aid. He had come from a very disturbed back- ground, and the Wilkinsons could not trust him around their own chil- dren. That child spent the next four years in a psychiatric hospital. For the last four years, the Wil- kinsons have taken in only young children. Most are from London and area. Unless the children are wards of the crown and available for adop- tion, they visit regularly with their natural parent or parents. "Some parents use their children as a tool to spite a partner," Shirley commented. She has attended court both as a witness, and as , an interested ob- server. Having to stand aside when courts make decisions the Wilkin - sons are not sure are in the child's best interests are part of being fos- ter parents. One reward of fostering, accord- ing to Jim is "seeing kids happy again". Another is maintaining relation- ships with former foster children. One who is now married with four children of his own spent brought Riddell un -happy with demotion Continued from front page Toronto to Guelph, the continuing need_ for programs to provide finan- cial stability in Ontario agriculture, a national grain policy and land preservation policy as the chief ones. The plan initiated by Mr. Riddell of gathering information from all agriculture commodity groups to provide direction for the industry in Ontario is being continued by the current administration. Offered his choice of positions in another ministry, Mr. Riddell chose the Ministry of Natural Resources because it relates most to his first love which is agriculture. "It is not the same as being a minister in cab- , inet...it is just not the same," tic said of his post as parliamentary as- sistant to Lyn McLeod. Mr. Riddell said last summer's cabinet shuffle has been described as "moving out the old guard." At 57, he docs not classify himself in that category and feels he has a contribution Icft to make, even if it has to be outside of politics. With the current popularity of the Liberals in Ontario, rumors 'are al- ready starting that the premier may call an election as early as next summer. Mr. Riddell thinks it will be before the federal government implements the goods and service tax (GST) because there may be a fallout from voters confused and upset with all levels of government. In the meantime, the former high school teacher will first decide if he can be satisfied playing a lesser role in the province's future before deciding if he will run in another election. He has been asked to run federal- ly for the Liberal party as well as provincially as a Tory. "I would never switch allegiances simply for convenience sake," said Mr. Rid- dell. So while this declaration indi- cates Mr. Riddell will remain in the same political camp, he could be an unhappy camper until a few ques- tions bothering him have been ad- dressed Bob Reid is a staff reporter with the Stratford Beacon Herald. Grand Bend rejects BIA Continued from front page businessman, said when the bylaw comes up again, he will respect the wishes of the people and abide by their decision. It will likely come before council at next Monday's meeting. During tne'MC eurrg- many nessmen asked for as much infor- mation as they could get before casting their vote. Many were con- cerned about fee structures, bud- gets and who they could get to sit on the board of a BIA, because itis not a volunteer organization like the Chamber of Commerce. It was also brought out at the meeting that one about one third of the businesses in the village are ac- tually members of the Chambcr, and all business were benefitting from the work of a few. They said if a BIA was formed they would all have tb pay their fair share. Committee member Bill Rammc- loo told the group that if a BIA did pass they would also automatically become members of the chamber. He said the BIA fee structure could have ranged from 5125 to 5400. Despite the overwhelming vote against it, mimy were disappointed when they found out the results. "I am glad its over and real happy with the turnout. I feel I have ful- filled my role as head of the cham- ber by holding the meeting here and ui il�r�g them what would would hap- pen, but personally I amrdisappoiat ed," said Chamber president Dave Sheppard. Guillett stated on more than one occasion that he was not for or against a BIA but just wanted to make sure people knew what they were voting on before making a de- cision. "The business people have spok: en. The community needs openness. I am glad they got it tonight," said Guillett. Kyle Harrison, owner of the Bare- foot Pedlar on Main Street, said he was also surprised by the outcome. "1 was a little bit disappointed about not forming a BIA. I think Grand Bend really needs one be- cause I think the Chambcr is really losing its effectiveness and this was a grxxl way to draw people to the Chamber," said Harrison. "I think everybody was afraid of it because they thought it was going to cost them money," he added. "I voted for it. I think we have to try a new few things around here. You have to get things on Main Street cleaned up and a BIA is a way to do it. We have been talking for year ;':w^^- ing things and nobody wants to do it," said Dave Scatcherd, owner of Oakwood Inn and Golf Club. "We have quite a little gold mine here. People will come to Grand Bend but we have to make sure it is done right to keep them coming back," said Scatcherd, who added he put through over 300,000 rounds of golf during the summer, which is proof enough to him that Grand Bend is still popular with tourists. Sharen also told the group that if council turns the proposal down at next Monday's meeting, anyone can appeal the decision and take it to the Ontario Municipal Board. Shar- en added if it goes that far, an OMB hearing will not likely take place until spring. his family to visit last weekend, and *the Wilkinson are expecting one of their foster daughters and her fami- ly next weekend. if The compensation for caring for foster children was raised about two months ago from 510 per day to S14. Shirley remembers the days when payment had to cover the costs of items like disposable dia- pers and baby formula. The Wilkinsons predict a need for more foster homes, especially at Christmastime, as parents are laid off and can't cope with the extra pressures at that time of year. Page 3 Some ask Children's Aid to take their children temporarily until they are back on their feet. Those interested in opening their hearts and homes to a child who needs to be nurtured in a loving at- mosphere may contact Family and Childrens Services in Goderich. Parents to more than 100 children By Paula Elliot Huron Expositor BRUCEFIELD - Fifteen years of foster parenting is no mean feat, ei- ther. Richard and Roberta Kloss of Brucefield have been active with Family and Children's Services since 1974, and now operate a Min- istry licenced group home for up to eight permanent residents in their converted schoolhouse on the Brucefield Road. The Kloss's also have three children of their own, now grown, and five grandchildren. At present, three boys and two girls are residing at the house. If there is one thing that Roberta Kloss would like to see stressed, it is the dire need for foster parents and families, especially for older children and teenagers. Although the Kloss's began fostering with in- fants, they have come full circle to working mainly with adolescents and teens, rising to the challenge of caring for the older kids and the unique "package of problems" that each one carries with him or her. The couple is also very much in- volved in family counselling and believe that, with many foster chil- dren, the whole pattern of family interaction has to be changed. "All families have rules", ex- plains Mrs. Kloss. "Some are writ- ten, some are unwritten." The diffi- culties arise when a child who, up until a certain point, had never real - Parents to over 100 children - Dick and Roberta Kloss, Brucefield, stand in front of pictures of some of the many children they have fostered over the years. ly been said "no" to suddenly finds him or herself confronting rules and "no's" as he/she becomes older. The child rebels, and the parents are une- quipped to deal with this. Many of the young people who come into their care are often angry, Mrs. Kloss adds. "They need direc- tion, supervision... consistency". The Kloss's go above and beyond the call of duty to provide all three of these requirements, and then some. She admits that their group home is often looked upon as rather strict, but the rutes are fair and ne- cessary. All of the kids in their care are very much involved in sports such as swimming and canoeing. Camping trips are a common thing, and part-time jobs teach them how to save and invest their money for the day when they are no longer in foster care. Mrs. Kloss points out that there is a very real need for parents and families who are willing to provide provisional homes to children who are past in -care living, older kids who are ready - or almost ready - to strike out on their own. "If a child has been raised withir the system, they don't have that extended family to fall back on," she adds. Has foster parenting had a posi- tive effect on their family? Defi- nitely, Roberta Kloss assets. "It can have a very positive effect on your own children, too. They learn to share, learn patience and under- standing... it gives them an oppor- tunity to see that it isn't easy for everyone." "This (foster parenting) is the undertaking ofthe whole family", she is quick to point out. "It- sets things a little lopsided. It's a change in your whole lifestyle - but a positive change.". 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