Times-Advocate, 1988-02-10, Page 13Times -Advocate, February 10, 1988 j Page 13
Valentine sweethearts
Keith ant Ruth McLaren
Celebrate sixty years
Grow old along with me, the best
is yet to be .
• The last of life, for which the
first was made
- Robert browning
The custom of girls walking
around town after church while the
boys drove slowly by with their
horses and buggies was still current.
in Exeter when Keith McLaren and
Ruth Jory first singled each other
out of the crowd.
"The better the day, the better the
decd", was the main thought of
the 19 -year-old Cromarty lad as he
pulled up beside the young girl
from the second of Stephen he had
been eyeing for some time:
"We drove around for awhile, and
then he took me home", Ruth re- .
calls. "I was only 15, and had to
be in by 10 o'clock. -
-Thcy went together for four years
before being married on February
29, 1928. •
The McLarcn's first home:was a
rented farm near Varna. They had
started a family when the Depres-
sion hit. Keith remembers -selling
twopregnant cows for a total of
S42. He lost implements that were
half paid for because he couldn't
pay the remainder. And no wonder.
Scans were 5S¢ a bushel, wheat
brought 39e, and oats paid 150 a
bushel delivered -to Brucefield. "We
never went hungry. We lived one
day at a time", Ruth said. She re-
calls with gratitude the generosity
of Gladman and Stanbury, the law-
yers who held the mortgage - on the
farm. "Thcy put it down to where
they thought we could -manage it,
and we did."
The couple -survived the Depres-
sion, and later owned a number of
farms. Keith also delivered bread
for the Kirkton Bakery for 19, years.
They moved into Exctcr in 1970.
Ruth, who has taken many prizes
for thc flowers she grows, offered a
floral analogy when asked what 60
years of marriage had taught her.
She compared marriage to a bed of
roses.
"Tend it 'well. it has its thorns -
you get hurts and pricks, but they
alwaysheal. Beautiful roses bloom
in different colours and varieties so
it doesn't get monotonous. Every-
thing has to be watered with God's
blessing. Tne family that prays to-
gether and reads God's word together •
stays together."
Keith agrees that having God as
the head of the household is the ba-•
sis of a long and happy marriage.
He -points out that husbands are told
to love their wives "as Christ loves
the church".
The McLarens revealed how they
handle the inevitable differences of
opinion that occur in a marriage.
Ruth's rule has always been "Never
go to bed without a goodnight kiss
and forgiveness." Keith contributed
the fact "I never went to sleep still
mad at my wife."-
- "We don't disagree as much, we've
lived together that long. We're pret-
ty peaceable now", Ruth added.
-For the: McLarens,. the most im-
portant outcome of their marriage is
—their_four.daughtcrs and adopted son.
- "We are a cios T family: —At
Christmas we had 40 membersof
our immediate family here"; Ruth
said.
The McLarens" will mark their
60th anniversary with an Open
House from -two to five on Febru-
ary 28 at Exctcr Pentecostal Taber-
nacle. The two people who stood
up with them six decades ago,
Keith's brother Jim and Ruth's sis-
ter Mildred Thomson, will be there
By Yvonne Reynolds
Marriage is the oldest institution known to man. Thousands of words
in poetry and prose have been devoted to it. These range from the Bible's
requirement that "A man leaves father and mother and cleaves to his wife,
and the two become one flesh" to George Bernard Shaw's sardonic obser-
vation that "When two people arc under the influence of the most vioent,
most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they arc re-
quired to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal and ex-
hausting condition continuously until death do thcm pan".
Many couples have proven they can do just that. We have chosen four
who reveal some of the secrets of a happy marriage.
One Year in March
Long loved, long woo'd and lately
won - -
My lif • - hest hot e. and • now
mine own.
- Sir Waller -Scott
Though Dave and Kelly Holtz -
mann will not have their first wed-
ding anniversary until next month,
they have started out with an atti-
tude that -bodes well for the future.
They are each others best friend, as
well as being man and wife.
"We get along really well. We
were good friends before we got
married",, Dave said. "
"And_w 're stilt more like bud-
dies", Kelly add , . -
The Holtz.manns and the Tiede -
mans lived a block apart- in Exeter,
but for a long time Dave paid little -
attention to his sister's blonde,
brown -eyed playmate. Besides, he
was three years older. -
The age gap didn't sccm to matter
as much when Kelly was 17 and
Dave was 20. The two had "hung
around for years in the same group",
too. but on May 2, 1981, Kelly remem-
bers, Dave asked her to accompany
him to a wedding rehearsal party.
"I am a sucker for nice cycs, and
Kelly wasn't the typical dumb
blonde. I have always had respect
for Kelly", Dave said.
That first date was the beginning
of a seven-year courtship.
Dave explained the length by say-
ing he had watched the marriages of
some of his friends break up, land "I
wanted to make darn sure we
V..
rt•
wouldn't be another :statistic".
"We learned a lot about each &h-
er, and we had some big fights",
Kelly confessed. "I knew we would
get married;- it was just a matter of
when." - -
Like the Haists, the Holtzmanns
are too busy working together in
the family grocery business to have
time to quarrel. The only problem
is learning "to leave the store at the
store", Kelly said, confiding that "if
we quarrel,- it's done by noon the
next day". -
Many interests are shared. Nei-
ther minds staying home watching
TV or a rented movie, and both like
to_read. Neither is possessive; Kel-
ly doesn't o—bjf rDavc-going- off
for a night of cards with his male
friends, and he is equally tolerant of
her excursions with her girlfriends.
What was not shared at first is
now. As Dave. is an avid golfer,
Kelly decided she would try the
game tuo. Shc has become as en-
thusiastic a player as her husband.
The two treasure thcir times to-
gether. Dave is "trying to take
some of the Toad off Dad's shoul-
ders", but hopes by summer he and
his wife can get a few days off at
the same time.
"The time we spend together is
quality time", Kelly said.
Dave summarized his view after
almost one year as a husband.. "it's
been good. I keep telling my
friends I would hate to be single."
The look in Kclly's.eyes echoes her
husband's words.
Marlene and- Ross Mathers
Silver Anniversary
Ile is the half part of a blessed
man,
Left to be finished by such a she;
And she a fair divided excellence,
Whose fulness of perfection lies in
him.
Shakespeare
Marlene and Ross Mathers are
making plans now for their 25th
wedding anniversary in September.
Reflecting on their years together,
the two trade stories that still evoke
laughter.
Ross remembers the first time he
saw his future wife. He and his
best friend knew they were seeing
double when they spotted 15 -year-
old identical twin sisters Marlene
and Darlene' Frayne at the Kirkton
Garden party. (Ross was all of 17
at the time.)
The girls did not notice the -two
young men, but Ross determined
that he would like to go out with
one of them, and his hest friend felt
the same. The four double -dated
for the next year.
"My mother insisted we all go
out together. She believed thcrc
was safety in numbers", Marlene in-
terjected.
Marlene- smilingly recalled the
times she and her sister would try to
fool their boyfriends by switching
partners, but Ross insists he always
knew which was Marlene and which
was her sister.
Darlene's romance ended after a
year, bu— L the bo—y from -the -fourth_
concession of McGillivray and the
girl from the Sunshine Line in Us-
borne continued to go steady for the
next four years.
Recollections of getting engaged
trigger more laughter. Ross took
Marlene into a jewellery store, told
her to pick out four rings and then
leave. The wintery February night
she received hcr ring, Marlene ran
screaming all the way up the lanc-
way and burst into her parent's
house with hcr hand extended in
front of her. Her mother, whose
eyesight was not the best, immcdi-
ately reached for a magnifying
glass, the better to sec what was on
the third finger of 'her daughter's Icft
hand. This provoked some hu-
mourous comments from the rest of
the family.
Ross's father wanted to know
how much his son had paid for the
ring. "That's the price of a good fat
steer!" he exclaimed. _
The Mathers began a 50-50 part-
nership with the purchase of the
wedding licence. Ross slapped
down S2.50 in front of Stephen
township clerk Ross Haugh and,
tuming to his fiancee, informed her
that she was to pay the remaining
S2.50.
Money was in short supply in the
early years. One Christmas there
was only S15 to buy gifts for Mar-
lene and Ross and their young son.
Landlord Roly Williams. made the
day much brighter with the unex-
pected gift of a turkey and S20.
Marlene credits Ross with an un-
canny ability to buy her gifts like
sweaters and dresses that .,re perfect
in colour and size and suitability.
The partnership has worked well
through the -years. Each is attuned
to the other's needs. KnowingMar-
lcne-is very sentimental about occa—
sions like birthdays, anniversaries
and Chrisunases, Ross does roman-
tic things like hiding a frilly a box
of candy in Marlene's suitcase dur-
ing a mid-February trip.
Marlene sold her two -keyboard
electronic organ and put the money
toward. a .22 -foot cabin cruiser her
husband had his heart set on.
The years have taught Marlene
that "both have to work hard at a
marriage; both have to give and
take - it can't be one -.sided. Somc-
_times one gives to- make the other
happy, o oerwhcrc -the irate
wants to go' .
This spirit of compromise will
prevail when the. two take a trip to
mark their silver anniversary. Mar-
lcnc wants a cruise, and Ross wants
to visit Jamaica. They will com-
bine the two. -
Ross sums up the recipe for a
happy -marriage from a husband's
point of view: trust, respect, and
freedom within reason, pointing out
"You can squeeze so hard you can
choke a marriage."
In dealing with disputes, Ross
recommends listening to what the
spouse has to say. That's fine with
Marlcnc, who says she can't stay
mad at anyone for more than 10
minutes, and "keeps talking until
things arc settled".
Couple still share joy and laughter after 70 years
T e heart that as truly loved
never forgets. .
!Jut as truly loves on to the
close.
- Thomas Moore
Everett and Sophia Heist, 124
Main St. Dashwood, celebrated 70
years as man and wife on December, -
2, 1987. Everett still remembers
how it all began. He and a friend
had waited outside the Dashwood
United Church one Sunday until
the young ladies came out to pro-
menade on the sidewalk. 'He was
watching particularly for Sophia
Schroeder, a pretty young woflnan
from Serepta (a now -extinct hamlet
east of Dashwood).
Evcrctt recalls with a wicked grin
that he and his friend passed them-
selves off as preachers' sons to per-
suade Sophia and her girlfriend to
go for a buggy ride.
The young man from Crediton
did not resort to subterfuge the next
time he met Sophia. He outbid all
rivals for her entry at a box social
soon after, and the two began going
out together. oil distributorship for the arca.
The two dated for a year before The Haists lived in Exeter for five
getting married. Asked why they
decided to marry, Everett recalled years before moving to their
that "We were getting old. I was present home in Dashwood in 1948.
25 and Sophia was a year older". - - The two are in remarkably good
Sophia had a different version.
"World War 1 was on, and boys
were getting scarce", she teased.
The couple credit their long and
happy relationship to the fact they
have always been too busy to waste
time quarrelling. Business has tak-
en thcm from a farm and brickyard
north of Crediton to a bakeshop in
Hensall, a job as dough man in
London for Everett, an electrical.
' supply business they owned in De-
troit, then a stint for Everett as
stock clerk in another Detroit com-
pany.
TThhc Haists returned to Canada in
1929 to buy a bakeshop and house ,
in Zurich. They rebuilt after afire,
and the Tasty Nu Bakery is still in
operation. After selling in 1936,
the Haists took a southern holiday
before buying a house in Serepta
where Everett took over the Texaco
health. Sophia, who turned 96 in
November, still mends, bakes and
cans all thc preserves from her
huge garden. Everett, 95 today,
February 10, helps in the kitchen,
cultivates his flower garden, and
••• •
still drives his car.
Sophia Heist drove an automobile
only once, 65 years ago, when her
husband could not leave the bake-
shop to deliver 50 loaves of bread to
Kippcn. He turned on the ignition,
and told hcr to tell the bread custom-
er to turn the car off. Coming back,
the Kippcn customer started the car
up again, and Sophia drove it hack
to Hensall. At journey's end, hus-
band Everett shut off the motor.
"if I'd kept on, I'd likely still be
driving today", Sophia said with a
twinkle in her eye.
Shared joy has been a main ingre-
dient in the Haists recipe for marri-
age.
"I. tell her a joke and she laughs",
Everett said.
Sophia recalls that in the days
they travelled south each winter,
"We would sing all the way to Flor-
ida."
Having run has always been part
of their life together. They 5tiIl
play euchre once a week with their
next-door neighbour.
The one tragedy in a long and hap-
py relationship was thc loss of
their first child, Jarvis, who suc-
cumbed to pneumonia and meningi-
tis at 15 months. '
"We've had our ups and downs";
Everett said. "But the Lord has
looked after us", Sophia added.
Sophia s advice to a young bride
would be: Give your husband three
good meals a day, and remember
that a wife's work is never done.
Everett would tell a new groom:
Don't try to be boss The two of
you have to agree.
Looking back on almost a centu-
ry of living, Everett has developed
a philosophy. .He maintains life
has three segments.. The first 30
Years, you live to learn. The sec-
ond 30, you just keep on living and
learning. For the third 30, you
practice what you have lived and
learned.
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