Times-Advocate, 1986-04-23, Page 6Par 6 Times -Advocate, April 23. 1994
Words af wisdom
from the
elderly
Y
A few years ago. I helped with a
survey done by the psychology
department of Guelph University with
seniors living in rural Ontario. Part
of my job was to interview people,
picked at random, and tape their
comments about what it was like to
grow old, and more especially, to
When it came. to the subject of
loneliness, most had little -npathy
for those who were. Except t,;r the
or shut-in, they felt loneliness was
often self imposed and could be over-
come by getting out and mixing with
other people. One elderly woman,
confined to a wheelchair, and work -
It Seems to me...
grow old in a rural area. It was one
of the most interesting times of my
Life as I travelled around talking to
about 100 people, from wealthy
retired businessmen, to single women
barely squeaking by, financially, all
over 65, and some of them well into
their eighties.
I have great memories of those fies-
ty, courageous folk who were, for the
most part, living their lives with a
great deal of enthusiasm, despite age,
physical incapacities, and even the
loss of a mate. To the question, "What
are the most important elements in a
happy old age and retirement?" near-
ly everyone answered, "Finances,
family relationships and health," but
not always in that order. •
by Gwyn Whilsmith
ing away at her sewing machine said
she'd never had a lonesome day in her
life. She also said that although she
and her husband had only their pen-
sions to live on, money wasn't
everything. "What's important is we
kpow our family loves and needs us."
However, a recently widowed
woman told me, "Loneliness is a fac-
tor of life. Not having someone to
share your thoughts with makes for
loneliness. However, she said T.V.,
books and friends filled some of the
gap and that, "You must draw from
your inner resources when the big
changes come into your life."
None of the people I spoke to
wanted to be a burden to their
children, and they didn't relish the
thought of leaving their own homes,
either. Most said they would sooner
be lonely to their own place than go
to an institution, and they, thought
health care services should be extend-
ed to an individual's house.
They are remarkably independent,
and 1 was often profoundly moved by
their spunk and 'reaching out' at,
titudes. "1 count my blessings," said
an ailing woman living alone in a
senior citizens' apartment.
"Whenever I start feeling sorry for
myself, I remember someone in
worse circumstances and go out and
do something for them. It's a sure
way to happiness."
A retired teacher had moved from
Toronto and all her friends to live in
a small rural village because, she
said, sweeping her hand around her
modest bungalow, 'This is what I can
now afford". She was another who
said her sense of self worth came
from "feeling needed, knowing so-
meone is depending on me • to do
something for them, no matter how
small the task". She.admitted there
were days when her phone never
rang, but that she made it a point to
ring someone else's every day.
A grand old gentleman who had
made his living, for over 50 years, dig-
ging drains and ditches, and who was
caring for his partially paralized wife
said, "I'm just as happy now as I ever
was; it's just a matter Of accepting
the changes that come, and looking on
the bright side."
Another lady told me when her hus-
band died she hadn't been able to stay
alone at nights so her grown children
took turns coming over to sleep until,
"One morning I decided to stop all
that foolishness and accept things as
they were. I've lived alone ever
Since." She went on to muse, "I learn-
ed it's really true when they say,
'Laugh and the world laughs with you,
cry and you cry alone."
Because the elderly have lived so
long, they've had time to get things in-
to proper perspective, to know what's
really'i.mportant in life. When the in-
terviews were completed I usually
asked each person what advice they
had for the generations following
them. Here are some of their very
wise comments:
• Take time to enjoy the simple
things of life... family, friends,
nature, music, etc.
• Care for your body ... good health
is of prime importance at any stage
of your life.
* Accept the fact that you have
limitations and don't make yourself
unhapp expecting too much from
life. On the other hand, don't aim so
low that you don't achieve your
possibilities.
• Have a nest egg for emergencies.
• Keep yourself informed on what
is going on around you.
* Keep in touch with the younger
generation.
• Have an absorbing interest other
than your work.
* Prepare, plan and save for
retirement.
• Cultivate a happy, positive at-
titude. Chances are, if you're happy
now, yeu'11 be happy whatever the
next stage brings.
• Above all, learn to expect and ac-
cept changes in your life.. some good,
some bad. You'll bring unhappiness
to yourself if you believe things will
always remain as they are now.
Seems to me that's all pretty good
advice, no matter what age you hap-
pen to be!
TO MARRY — Ken and Marie
Broom are pleased to announce
the forthcoming marriage of their
daughter Sandra June to Michael
Donald Taylor, son of Mrs. Jo
Ann Monteith. The wedding will
take place at Trivitt Memorial
Church in Exeter on Saturday,
May 3, 1986. Open reception to
follow.
Anyone who can smile when things go
wrong has thought of someone to
blame it on.
MR. AND MRS. SCOTT THOMSON
Arlene Marie Masse and Scott Bradley Thomson were united in mar-
riage by Father J. Bennett on April 5, 1986 at St Peter's Church, St.
Josephs. The bride is the daughter of Louis and Catherine Masse,
Zurich and'the groom's parents are Clarence and Isabel Thomson,
Woodham. The maid of honour was Joanne Jaques and bridesmaids
were Mary -Ellen McBride, Karen Neevel and Janice Thomson.
Flowergirl was Jillian Masse. The best man was Paul Droog and
ushers were Steve Jaques, Steven Thomson and Michael Masse.
Ringbeai<ers were Marty and Michael Degroot. After a honeymoon
in Jamai, the couple has taken up residence in RR1 Woodham.
Photo by Frank Phillips
The readers -write
Dear Sir:
April 30 is the date set for another
Red Cross Blood Donor Clinic. The
Ausable River Nomads are the spon-
sors and are hoping that Exeter and
the surrounding area will give us their
support again.
To meet the needs of patients in
area hospitals the Red Cross must
collect 1300 units of blood a week from
voluntary donors at clinics. Our Ex-
eter clinic makes up a vital portion of
this total.
With the AIDS scare the blood shor-
tage has increased but the demand
for Wood has also increased leaving
certain months of the year critical for
the blood supply. Neither AIDS nor
any other disease can be contracted
from Oiling blood. All materials us-
ed for collecting blood are sterile and
used only once. The London Red
Cross is now testing for AIDS from
every unit of blood received.
The Red Cross needs your type.
They need all types of blood. Feel
good abbut yourself and give blood.
Yelp the camping club make this
another successful Blood Donor
Clinic. Marie Brunzlow
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MR. AND MRS. RON MASSE
Mary Ferguson and Ron Masse
were united in marriage on April
12, 1986 at St. Boniface Roman
Catholic Church in Zurich with
Father Mooney officiating. The
bride is the daughter of Roy
and Marie Ferguson, Exeter and
Elzer and Grace Masse, RR1
Zurich are parents of the groom.
The matron of honour was Judy
Rohde and bridesmaids were.
Alanna Adams, Exeter and Sue
Campbell, London. The flowergirl
was Kathy Rohde, Exeter and
Adam Masse, Zurich was
ringbearer. The groomsman was
Phil Masse, Zurich and guests
were ushered by Dennis Masse,
Centralia and Ron Ferguson, Ex-
eter. The reception was held in
Hensall and the couple is now
residing at Norwood Village in
Exeter. Photo by Frank Phillips
SANDY GLANVILLE
Rumor's would like to an-
nounce the appointment of
Sandy Glanville. She will be
joining Janet Hoonaard and
Krisan Datars. Sandy has
been working in Exeter for
the past year, and is
qualified as a hair stylist.
Rumor's
Unisex Hair Design
414 Main St. Exeter
Phone 235-0202
•
515.0535
Great Spring Colors
EXETER
235-1412
Byron and Sarnia
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Until April 30
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