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Times-Advocate, 1986-04-23, Page 6Par 6 Times -Advocate, April 23. 1994 Words af wisdom from the elderly Y A few years ago. I helped with a survey done by the psychology department of Guelph University with seniors living in rural Ontario. Part of my job was to interview people, picked at random, and tape their comments about what it was like to grow old, and more especially, to When it came. to the subject of loneliness, most had little -npathy for those who were. Except t,;r the or shut-in, they felt loneliness was often self imposed and could be over- come by getting out and mixing with other people. One elderly woman, confined to a wheelchair, and work - It Seems to me... grow old in a rural area. It was one of the most interesting times of my Life as I travelled around talking to about 100 people, from wealthy retired businessmen, to single women barely squeaking by, financially, all over 65, and some of them well into their eighties. I have great memories of those fies- ty, courageous folk who were, for the most part, living their lives with a great deal of enthusiasm, despite age, physical incapacities, and even the loss of a mate. To the question, "What are the most important elements in a happy old age and retirement?" near- ly everyone answered, "Finances, family relationships and health," but not always in that order. • by Gwyn Whilsmith ing away at her sewing machine said she'd never had a lonesome day in her life. She also said that although she and her husband had only their pen- sions to live on, money wasn't everything. "What's important is we kpow our family loves and needs us." However, a recently widowed woman told me, "Loneliness is a fac- tor of life. Not having someone to share your thoughts with makes for loneliness. However, she said T.V., books and friends filled some of the gap and that, "You must draw from your inner resources when the big changes come into your life." None of the people I spoke to wanted to be a burden to their children, and they didn't relish the thought of leaving their own homes, either. Most said they would sooner be lonely to their own place than go to an institution, and they, thought health care services should be extend- ed to an individual's house. They are remarkably independent, and 1 was often profoundly moved by their spunk and 'reaching out' at, titudes. "1 count my blessings," said an ailing woman living alone in a senior citizens' apartment. "Whenever I start feeling sorry for myself, I remember someone in worse circumstances and go out and do something for them. It's a sure way to happiness." A retired teacher had moved from Toronto and all her friends to live in a small rural village because, she said, sweeping her hand around her modest bungalow, 'This is what I can now afford". She was another who said her sense of self worth came from "feeling needed, knowing so- meone is depending on me • to do something for them, no matter how small the task". She.admitted there were days when her phone never rang, but that she made it a point to ring someone else's every day. A grand old gentleman who had made his living, for over 50 years, dig- ging drains and ditches, and who was caring for his partially paralized wife said, "I'm just as happy now as I ever was; it's just a matter Of accepting the changes that come, and looking on the bright side." Another lady told me when her hus- band died she hadn't been able to stay alone at nights so her grown children took turns coming over to sleep until, "One morning I decided to stop all that foolishness and accept things as they were. I've lived alone ever Since." She went on to muse, "I learn- ed it's really true when they say, 'Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone." Because the elderly have lived so long, they've had time to get things in- to proper perspective, to know what's really'i.mportant in life. When the in- terviews were completed I usually asked each person what advice they had for the generations following them. Here are some of their very wise comments: • Take time to enjoy the simple things of life... family, friends, nature, music, etc. • Care for your body ... good health is of prime importance at any stage of your life. * Accept the fact that you have limitations and don't make yourself unhapp expecting too much from life. On the other hand, don't aim so low that you don't achieve your possibilities. • Have a nest egg for emergencies. • Keep yourself informed on what is going on around you. * Keep in touch with the younger generation. • Have an absorbing interest other than your work. * Prepare, plan and save for retirement. • Cultivate a happy, positive at- titude. Chances are, if you're happy now, yeu'11 be happy whatever the next stage brings. • Above all, learn to expect and ac- cept changes in your life.. some good, some bad. You'll bring unhappiness to yourself if you believe things will always remain as they are now. Seems to me that's all pretty good advice, no matter what age you hap- pen to be! TO MARRY — Ken and Marie Broom are pleased to announce the forthcoming marriage of their daughter Sandra June to Michael Donald Taylor, son of Mrs. Jo Ann Monteith. The wedding will take place at Trivitt Memorial Church in Exeter on Saturday, May 3, 1986. Open reception to follow. Anyone who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. MR. AND MRS. SCOTT THOMSON Arlene Marie Masse and Scott Bradley Thomson were united in mar- riage by Father J. Bennett on April 5, 1986 at St Peter's Church, St. Josephs. The bride is the daughter of Louis and Catherine Masse, Zurich and'the groom's parents are Clarence and Isabel Thomson, Woodham. The maid of honour was Joanne Jaques and bridesmaids were Mary -Ellen McBride, Karen Neevel and Janice Thomson. Flowergirl was Jillian Masse. The best man was Paul Droog and ushers were Steve Jaques, Steven Thomson and Michael Masse. Ringbeai<ers were Marty and Michael Degroot. After a honeymoon in Jamai, the couple has taken up residence in RR1 Woodham. Photo by Frank Phillips The readers -write Dear Sir: April 30 is the date set for another Red Cross Blood Donor Clinic. The Ausable River Nomads are the spon- sors and are hoping that Exeter and the surrounding area will give us their support again. To meet the needs of patients in area hospitals the Red Cross must collect 1300 units of blood a week from voluntary donors at clinics. Our Ex- eter clinic makes up a vital portion of this total. With the AIDS scare the blood shor- tage has increased but the demand for Wood has also increased leaving certain months of the year critical for the blood supply. Neither AIDS nor any other disease can be contracted from Oiling blood. All materials us- ed for collecting blood are sterile and used only once. The London Red Cross is now testing for AIDS from every unit of blood received. The Red Cross needs your type. They need all types of blood. Feel good abbut yourself and give blood. Yelp the camping club make this another successful Blood Donor Clinic. Marie Brunzlow PRIME RATE SAVINGS WITH CHEQUING 25 Ok- • UAILY.INTEREST 11,0 Daly IntereSt Savings plus complete (hequing privileges - all M one account. only from Standard Trust. And tune's more Not only do you earn nit high rate on balances over SI0. 000. Standardp.ys you Interest on every dollar In your account no matter how small your dally balance. High interest on Ittl your money every day fret chequing on balances over 5500, free chequing for seniors - plus a SSO Cash Bonus for account transfers of S10.000 or more. or a $25 Cash Bonus when you transfer your account of S2.000or more from any other financial institution to Standard Trust Compare. and you Il see there's no better way to save For more information. cart Standard VIM today 4fElSTANDARD TRUST Member - Canada Ueprn.1 Inunan(.e C orporatron 3R6 Main tt S . 1 .eter Tel 235 1060 Open Monday to Thursday 9am to Spm; Friday gam to Bpm: Saturday 9am to I pm 4 MR. AND MRS. RON MASSE Mary Ferguson and Ron Masse were united in marriage on April 12, 1986 at St. Boniface Roman Catholic Church in Zurich with Father Mooney officiating. The bride is the daughter of Roy and Marie Ferguson, Exeter and Elzer and Grace Masse, RR1 Zurich are parents of the groom. The matron of honour was Judy Rohde and bridesmaids were. Alanna Adams, Exeter and Sue Campbell, London. The flowergirl was Kathy Rohde, Exeter and Adam Masse, Zurich was ringbearer. The groomsman was Phil Masse, Zurich and guests were ushered by Dennis Masse, Centralia and Ron Ferguson, Ex- eter. The reception was held in Hensall and the couple is now residing at Norwood Village in Exeter. Photo by Frank Phillips SANDY GLANVILLE Rumor's would like to an- nounce the appointment of Sandy Glanville. She will be joining Janet Hoonaard and Krisan Datars. Sandy has been working in Exeter for the past year, and is qualified as a hair stylist. Rumor's Unisex Hair Design 414 Main St. Exeter Phone 235-0202 • 515.0535 Great Spring Colors EXETER 235-1412 Byron and Sarnia MINISI NI11111YN11MNMMMINIOUN1NNOHI11t KK!'. H 423 Main St. 235-0894 (in the back of Brian & Berry's Barbershop) 1 is r-- Specials Perms •SS" Mens - shampoo, cut & Styling Until April 30 '7.. 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