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Exeter Times, 1905-10-05, Page 7f i RETORTS OF SOVEREIGNS THEY CAN TAKE AS WELL AS MAKE JOKES. Many *Columns Might Be Filled With Samples of Royal Wit. Tho >rzi,er's latest joke, which Is going the round ',t the European papers, is by no means a had speei- nu•n of Hoe al hu►nor. When the Ger- man Emperor Was visit ing the nr•- 'tiltent l'ustle of Saulburg a few weeks ago with Ur. l,ucanus, chief of Ilis Majesty's Civil Cabinet, as cora- l/union, he was shown some puttee,', recently dug up, tthich dated from Heinen tinges. By an odd coincidence the name of the maker of ono of the old vases was deciphered us "Lucan- us." "Halloal Lucantis," excluitn- ed the Kaiser, us the name caught his eye, "how is this? You aro al- ways boasting about your ancestors, and here. I find they were only pot- ters after all." This story reminds one curiously of Janus l.'s joke ut the expense cf one of his courtiers. When he over- heard this gentleman, a member of the ancient family of Lumley, boast of his long and distinguished do - scent, James broke in with, "Stop, man! Vou need not say a word mote. Now I know that Adam's name wus Lumley." Much more rare, and perhaps more Intertesting are the stories of jokes made AT THE EXPENSE OF KINGS. An excellent example of a clever re- tort was that of the Attache of the; British Embassy in St. Petersburg, who, when dining at the Imperial' Palace quite recently, had the min-. fcreune to upset his glass of clacct.' The Czar, seemingly annoyed 'ry the incident, asked from the other end of tho table, "Do they do thet kind of thing in England?" "Oh, yes," came the prompt and daring retort; "but no notice is ever taken of it." Equally swift and even more dar- ing still was the rebuke once admin- istered to the I'rince Regent. When George was walking in Portsmouth one day • he shouted out to one of his boon companions whom he saw across the road, "Mallon, Towers! STANDS •might be formuluted in the following way: Fleet, du nut u.,, the eyes it'da till poor or Dickering light. SecoaJ, u Michigan's Insurance Commissioner Cu Find Only Good to Say of Canada Life. Lansing, Mich., September 27. - The Michigan Insurance De- partment has completed an investi- gation of the Canada 141fe Assurance Co., and reports its affairs tts being in a most satisfactory condition. The examiners' official statement says that "the company is most conservative and careful in reguid to its investments," and that there has been "no attempt iu any way to in- flate the assets." The Canada Life's business is further referred to as being on a stronger reserve basis than that. of any other company in America known to the examiners. The Department is able to report '"with no hesitation that the Can - Cada bite Assurance Company has no i improper or unprofitable financial relations or alliances with any other Institution, and all its affairs seen] to be conducted on a purely basi- 1 nese basis. Its eflicers, In our opin- ion, make the hest terms possible for, and in the interests of, the Company. The banking business of the Company ie transacted with several of the leading Banks of Canad. preference reference bVltlg given en to those banks giving the Company the hest terms." Special mention Is made of the policyholders' defined rights in the Company's profits, as follows: "By the Company's Charter it is provid- that 80 per cent. of the profits of the Company shall go to the Policyholders, and no more than 10 per cent. of the profits to the Stockholders. Until $90 is earned for the Policyholders tho Stockhold- ere could not receive i$10 Dividend. 77►e Company has thus established a community of interest between the Policyholder and the Stockholder, and has combined the adventures of security and continuity of tuaoage- ment inherent In a Stock Company with the Most desirable privileges of a Mutual Company." Reference is made also to the Company's voluntary action in 1899 %then it requested the Govern- ment so to amend its Charter that Policyholders should he allowed to elect six of their number to sit on the hoard of Directors. The Exam- iners state: "So far as we know. the Canada Life was the first purely Stock Company to give Policyhold- ers a voice in the management, and iL has In this manner succeeded In securing a harmonious blending of the rights of I'olicyholdcrs and Stockholders. In our opinion this arrangement is a most equitable one." The report is likely to be regarded as especially reassuring becauseuse it comet from Insurance; Conunissioner, Icon. J. V. Barry, who has a con- tinental reputation as an impartial official. A year ago he was given the distinction of being Chairman of the Convention of State Insurance Commissioners. 01 late the press of other states, where the insurance departments are less efficient titan Michigan's, has been advocating) Mr. Barry's appointment as Nation- al Supervisor of Insurance, should the United States Congress establish a Federal Insurance Department. JAPAN'S GREAT FISHERIES. Japan leads the world in the econ- oulica)scientific nd a development oto meat of 1 its fisheries. It has more persons en- gaged in this industry, says Dr. IL I hear you aro the greatest black- Id Smith, than any other nation. guard in Portsmouth." "I hope," Sharks aro among tho commonest shouted back Towers, with a pro- food fishes of Japan. They are Bent found obeisance, "your Royal High- to the markets- to bo "butchered'' nese has not come here to take awt:y like beeves in other countries. Tho my character." This answer is oddly extent of the Japanese flatteries may reminiscent of another of which the be judged from the size of the nets Merry Monarch was the victim. beet- employed by the fishermen. Doctor ling Lord Shaftesbury, whose charge- Smith tells, in the National Geograe- ter as a libertine was notorieue bis Magazine, of a net employed for Charles greeted him, "I believe th-1u art the wickedest ftllow in my do- minions." "For a subject, sir," !acidly answered Shaftesbury, "I REALLY BELAIVE I AM." LL� hen Frederick the Great, after /appointing a man of European Ul- timo 11- Wimo as his Ambassador to the rt- ll sh Court, asked Hugh Elliott what his fellow -countrymen thought el him, Elliott answered with a bow, "A worthy representative of year Majesty." But surely no King was ever so cleverly and crushingly an- swered as George iII., when he as'•. - eel Horne Tooke it he ever played tares. "Your Majesty," said Tooke, "I cannot tell a king front a knave." When William IV. wus heir - lpresumptive to the throne of ICo3- and, he said one day to the Secretary catching yellowtails which was more than a mile long. It had a bag 900 feet long, 250 feet wide at its mouth, n- r f and 1 , set deep. On ono occasion 10,000 fish, averaging 20 pounds in weight, were taken at a single haul. DEADLY ANAEMIA. Leads to Consumption Unless Promptly Cured. Many a young life ruight be saved from consumption it simple anaemia were promptly treated. Anaemia is the doctors' name for weak, watery blood. When the blood is in this condition the lungs have no strength. The whole system begins to the Admiralty, who was his moist/- to break down. Then the growing bor at the dinner -table, "C—, whe•n girl slips slowly Into decline, until I am King you shall not be Admiral- at last the cough starts and her ty Secretary, I promise 1'ou. Eh? dome is sealed. Dr. Williams' Pink What do you say to that?" "A11 Pills can caro all weak, anaemic that I cni sayin such a case," a ipeople without. doubtht or difficulty. • C—, "is, 'God save the King.' " 'l'dey actually make new, rich, ('h i1., who could take a joke health -giving blood -they cure minc- es w'ifllfas make one, once asked ht." arta and prevent consumption. This has been proved in thousands of cases. Mrs. Edward Cochran, Mer- riton, Ont., says: -"Dr. Williams' Pink Pills cured my daughter Ma- tilda, when I telt that her cast was chaplain, 1)r. Stildingtleet, "flow is it that. you always rend your ser- mons before tae, when I understand you can preach eloquently enough without a hook elsewhere?" The doe - tor answered that he was so over- almost hopeless. For more than a whelmedItis Majesty's presence year she was a sufferer from anae- that he could not "trust himeell otherwise" "and," continued he, "in return will your tilnjestev give mo leave to ask why you read your speeches when you can have no smelt excuse?" That high -placed dignitaries ha :o on monopoly of these crushiny re- torts to Royalty is proved by Till: FOLLOWING STOi(,'9*M. mia. Mhe gradually grew weak, was subject to violent headache, and dark circle'] appeared under her eyes. She was melancholy, had no appe- tite and complained of being con- stantly tired. At different times sho was treated by two doctors, but with no improvement. As her case progressed, sho was attacked by vio- lentWhen Frederick the Great's c; nehmen palpitation of the heart, and g ing shortness of breath. She once had the misfortune to note the had a deathly pallor, took cold Royal carriage with his 'sestet: in it, and Frederick began to sweir easih', and continued to decline in like n trooper at the clumsiness of we(!ight, until I felt that she was his servant, the littler Locoed his i in a hopeless decline. At this time abuse to laughter by turning round ttttontinn was rolled to Ur. 1Vil- llama Pink Pills, ill and began s- td i 1 r Friv- ol) Emperor r andcoolly K n o asking, mu the fY 6 them to her. She had not And you, did you never lose a hat- gbeen in tie?" taking the pills ninny weeks when (Inn clay Louis XI. wandered into her appetito tuns greatly improved, the kitchen of on inn at which he had and this was the first sign that they ptrpped for a meal, and seeing it 'lid were helping her. She continual the there turning n spit asked him his pills until she had taken eight or tem() and employment. "My name nine boxes, when she was again the 'set!ringer," answered the turnspit, picture of healthy girlhood. Every "and though 1 sin not n great man ,symptom of her trouble had diteap- 1 get ns much as the King of 'peered, sho heti increased in weight, 1•'rance•.'• "And shat," inquired and is strong and robust. lle•r re Louis, "does the King of France covert' is looked upon ns marvellous, for the doctors thought her cuss hopeless." Dr. Williams' l'ink fills will cure any rase of bloodlessness jest ns surely Its they cured this rase. The Kills row, and asked whither he teasrale•, enact/tic need only me thing - E )u new blood. 1)r. Williams' Pink Pills get?" "His wages." was the answer "which ho holds from God, and 1 hold mine from the King." And to give one more story-nt iho expense of Charles 11. One day ne accosted one of his servants, culled hnstorpg so taco. "1 ant going the lir regions,- came the answer. tie only one thing -they Make new, "lo ask thein to send back Oliver rich. lily -giving blood. That is why ('ront.cell to take charge of the ate 1Dr. Williams' l'ink fills curre all fairs of ranulae; tor, as to his sur- common ditenses like annemia, hend- ossein•. he is ale ay s employed on aches and backaches. indigret ion, other business." kidney (rouble. palpitation of the hen rt , neuralgin, tier%nas troubles, and those special ailments that r111NIC11'Af. NF:11'!+1'.1P1;R. make the lives of so many growing girls and women miserable. Be rare - Dresden. Germany. Is one of the fol to get the genuine pills with the full name Dr. Williams!' fink fills kw cif lea possessing n municipal !oewspap er, and this was bequeathed to they city by the late Dr. Glint. The bequest is a very valuable pro- perty. and consists of a daily news- paper, which. in ennw'epuence of its a'\t`h'Ite t, i,.)111t1011. is the princi- Ienl ndvertaiug medius) in the ntlehborhood. Phe profits are ap- j,,t ({ to the benutifying and im- provement of the city and to char- ity. for Pale People nn the w•rnpp)t around each box. 1f in dnelht. send direct to The Dr, lVillianr'.' Medicine Co , Brockville, tint . and the pi114 R ill be went by mail at 5n rents a box, or six boxes for $2 50. in 1798 the Steamboat was fist$ c•on(cived by Robert leultoo, an Am. ericaa • f1 -i -11 - HEALTH 444÷14+14-1444444444444 THE' G1(EATEST ILEALTIii FAC - TOIL -WORK, Congenial work with mind and hands should be encouraged in all persons, for its prophylactic ns web as its curative influences. Rest will prove serviceable doubtless in num- bers of cases, but its application should be restricted and carefully studied. There are many conditions where absolute rest will not only prove useless, but really harmful. 'l'o send a man from an active business life to one of complete inactivity will often prove disastrous, us Hutch so as to proscribe all food for the obese. The nervous mill complain that they do not feel like work. If loft to themselves and told to do abso- lutely nothing, not 'even to read, they aro sure to dwell upon their infirmi- ties, and grow the►•e4)y nloroee and hypochondriacal, thus increasing their invalidism. The desire for work should be encouraged in all con- ditions, and in all classes. if ono'S interest is aroused, even to a slight degree, a continuance in the work will develop a desire for occupation. One will never feel like work it one has nothing to do. Work will often accomplish what medicine, however ro properly y applied,will not, for it is not alone that we must earn our bread by the sweat of the brow, but every man and wotnan should work for the pleasure of it, as well as for the health -giving, brain -expanding results, and the bcnefie of example. EAT 'i'O SAVE DO(."IY)R'S BILLS. If people would study the various vegetables, fruits, etc., as to their medicinal qualities in adjusting ail- ments, there would be less demand for the doctor's services. It should not he difficult to remember that: Fruits and acid vegetables (toma- toes aro good for the liver. Lettuce and celery are good nerve tonics. Beans, pens, lcntilet, etc., produce strength and heat, and are a good substitute for meats in winter. Onions and radishes are preventives of colds. Eggs aro easier to (liget when slightly boiled than when eaten raw. Macaroni and vermicelli, on ac- count of their closeisese of grain, are not ns easily digested as light bread. Potatoes, when mealy. are easily digested. When close and watery they are hard to digest. Itananns, on account of the amount of nitrogen they contain, are easily digested. The sufferer front deapcpsin should take turnips, spinach, crosses, salmis, celery, lettuce, and dandelions. A person suferlug from chronic rheumatism should avoid dried fish. SIitiN '1111: "BLUES," "Blues" aro unnecessary. They mean one of two things -nn un- healthy body or a diseased mind. in either case distraction is the best remedy. One must strive to forget eel( in work, in reading, or in pleas- ure. A busy life, judiciously arrang- ed, will crowd vapours to the wall. There are worsen who never eecrn to hate nay 1 1.solarces. Let them culti- vate n good -sited feminine arqunint- atur, with varied types to suit one's moods, to sew with this one, shop with that one, entertain and be en- tertained. 'There is always charity work to till up one's time, even when the social amenities are not pleasing. The best cure for lonellnces is a 'ris( walk through the clear sun- shine and pure air. it generally pats a person into a reasonable frame of mind. hilt is often molded by sick - minded people, CARE OF TIlI,: EVES. There are certain rules with regard to the care of the eyesight which should be religiously followed. They not have the light directly in front or behind; the light should fall, without iuterruptivn, trove oW) side. Third, do not use the eyes much when you aro tired or when recover- ing from an illness. Fourth, do not use the eyes when they become Wa- tery or show sigma of indistinctness of vision. Fifth, du not work with the head bent over. This tends to gorge the vessels of the eyes with blood and to produce congestion. Sixth, do not rend lying flat on the back or reclining, unless the book is supported in the saute relative tingle and position its when erect. Seventh do not remain a single day without glasses after you should put them on. CURE OF CROUP. When a child has un acute attack of croup, maks a poultice of linseed meal and mustard, rub a little oil or lard on top, hien put it right round the child's neck. give the child a good dose of castor oil, enough to make it sick. Many a child's life is saved through this when there is no doctor ut hand. If mothers would rnuke a email chest -preserver of ted flannel the share of a heart buck and front, and twice u week inn a few drops of turpentine on it, it would prevent ninny a sore throat and chest complaint, T() CURE A STY. The best thing is to bathe the oyes frequently with warin water, bcracic lotion (ogrue to loz. of wa- ter), and apply at night a piece of buracic lint wrung out of boiling water; cover with a piece of jaconet and a pad of cutton-wool on top; fix with a bandage. IIFAT FOR EARACHE. Earache is one of the most dis- tressing ailments of childhood. Heat, perbaps, gives as touch as any ap- plication. Tho ear may be ntly Alltel with water as hot as c t lo borne, poured in with a teaspoon. The ehild should lie with the affected ear uppermost, and after a short time turn on that side and let the water run out. Sometimes n small mustard plaster behind the ear stops the pain. It should ho left on only a few minutes. IIOME COUGH REMEDY. Cover 2 ozs. flaxseed with 1 qt. boiling water, add } sugar, 1 pint strained honey and juice of 3 lemons. Let it heat on back of range until beige'. and honey are well dissolved, then put in a fruit can. This may be taken freely in case of cold or grip until the cough is relieved. TRIED ALL ELSE 4 TO NO BENEFIT THEN DODD'S KIDNEY PILLS CURED HIS DIABETES. Startling Case of Thos. Harrison, of St. Mary's Ferry -He Tells the Story Himself. St. Mary's Ferry, York County, N. Il., Sept. 25 -{Special).- That ')end's Kidney Tills will euro Pia - hetes. one of the most deadly Perms of Kidney Disease, has been satis- factorily proved by Mr. Thos. Har- i risen, of this place. Speaking of his Icuru Mr. Ilarrison says: "1 began to suffer with severe pains above the region of the Kid- neys. When I lay down it was tor- ture t• get up again. My appetite failed and I lost flesh rapidly. "I doctored with several physici- ans, but It was all no use. Shortly after this I began to urinate blood and then I knew I was in the grip of that dread monster, !Diabetes. "At this time a friend prevailed on Inc to try a box of Dodd's Kid- ney Pills and they did me so much good 1 continued the treatment till I had used three boxes. They cured Inc completely." FUEL IN YUKON. Coal Being Mined -Some Steamers Are Using Oil. Fife en men are employed this summer in the Tantalus coal mine, ko River says r Upper Ynkon the on the pr v r�th White 'wawa?) News. Several nl ofe Pass eteauu'rs are using the coal, and are doing well with it. Miller, the owner of the 'Tantalus coal pro- perty. promise:; to realize a good thing out of it. The White Pass, notwithstanding It is burning coal to some extent, has :12 wend camps along the river between Dawson and White iHorse. An average of two 111.11 are engnged at each cntnp. This menus the dis- tribution of considerable money for fuel. The lower river boots arc buying considernblc wood also this year, and wood camps are scattered along the entire 1,7(10 miles! froth Dawson to St. Michael, but are not patron- ized so extensively as in some of the years past The Northern Commercial Company now hurtle oil on most of Its steam- ers. The oil is brought from Cali- fornia. Coal for the river steamers nlsn is being produced on the lower ricer. At the Coal Creek ]nines, below Forty -mile, and neer Nulato, con' Is being produced. Another mint' is being opened on ]toy Creek, below Eagle. A large traction engine. to bo used in drawing coal to the riv- er bank, was sent down the river a few days ago by steamer. --O )•'lnishing up the windows of it new house Is a pane -full prorrrdinl; "Do you think my little boy looks like me?" "Vees, but he's liable to outgrow it, A little Sunlight Soap will clean cut glass ani other articles until they shine and sparkle. Sunlight Soap will wash other things than clothes, 0B ARCTIC MAIL DELVIERY FIVE THOUSAND MILES FROM OTTAWA. The Settler Now Has His Letters Regularly Carried to Him by Dog Teams. "Fort McPherson I'ostolfice, Arctic Circle." 'file idea of addressing a letter in such u way and hating it delivered by agents of the I'o,tollice Department would hate been deeurvl absurd and impracticable at olio time. To -clay it has become an es- tablished fact. A few years ago Edtnonton was the remotest point o the Northwest 'Territories reached uy the Canadian postofllce. lleyond, net attempt had t u been ten made to cxto'Id postal facilities. Nevertheless those was a scattered population through- out the vast area between Eduwnt )n and the Arctic regions wholly • un- served by the postofnco. Quietly but steadily, however, the postoflice is embracing this great expanse of ter- ritory in the postal area and 'nae now in sucossful operation a pose -,1 office at Fort McPherson, a point ont the Mackenzie River not far from Beaufort Sea, situate in latitude 148 north, distant over 2,100 miles northerly from Edmonton and nearly 5,000 MLLES FROM OTTAWA. Between Fort McPherson and Ed- monton the department has been gradually establishing ether post - offices, but owing b to their great . di'. - teticu from each other has supple- mented their work by arranging with the couriers to deliver mail matter to settlers on the way between the vartous offices. Fancy rural delivery in the Arctic regional Yet.thut is practically what is happening. It is less than four; years since the department inaugnr-' ateel its policy of mail services and postufices north of Edmonton. it began by establishing a mail service between Elmontun and Athabasca Landing, a point on the Ath abases River about one hundred miles from the former place. p ace. 'I9tIs service hav- ing been successfully carried out, tote department in the following year es- tablished a trail service between Athabasca Landing and fence River Crossing, a distance of some 800 miles; also it service bctneen Peace River Crossing and Spirit Ttiver, a distance of 75 miles; also a sert:co from Peace River Crossing to Fort Vermillion, a distance of about 280 miles, In 1903 successful efforts adopted to reach Fort ('hipettyan, a point on Lake Athalxlsea, distant 400 miles farther north. Apart (rain the very great expense in'olved In these services, the question was whether they could be successfully performed throughout the winter. Tho country being without roasts of any kind, and covered with ice and snow, the only practicable means of transportation are dog teams. But 1 THREE YEARS' EXPERIENCE DO YOU WANT PURE TEA ? not mixed with sweepings, dust or refuse, but the oMIL o=csa "Ir oITNgc - =.nave=s. carefully selected, manufactured and packed in lead t0 PRESERVE THEIR FRESHNESS. • That's why you want T E A S'foi'S %VIII5I'ERIN(j, Tho hats worn by Korean state functionaries have brims of enor- mous dimensions, three feet across sometimes, and are required to be mach, of clay. The reason for this is that some years ago the then ' ruler of Korea tins annoyed at the habit of wbispering that prevailed at court, and so decided upon compell- ing his courtiers to wear hats that would stake it somewhat more diffi- cult to put their heads close together to exchange confidences. . in the shorter distance between Ed- monton and Fort ('hipewynn having shown the practicability of this sys- tem, Inst, hill it was determined to make the bold attempt to send his Majesty's mails throughout the winter practically as far north as the Arctic Sea. The experiment cur -1 ried out throughout last winter has proved successful, and now a per►ua-1 nent postofllcu le in operation et Fort McPherson, served during the winter by (log tennis. It is impossible for persons lir,; joying the conveniences supplied in the old settled parts of Canada to realize the loneliness and solitude of! those citizens in the remote semi - arctic regions. 'lo theta the nrrite1 of a mull is the most exciting evc,rt of the year, bringing to them news from the outer world from relatives and friends, keeping them in Drell to some extent with their country and mitigating in a degree the hat d ships of their lives. (creat as is the expense involved to thecountry, V, it will doubtless he cheerfully acqufe9c- 041 in because of the pleasure and satisfaction that it will bring to those hardy northern settlers who are thus reminded that their coun- try is deeply interested in their wel- fare. That two cents will defray the cost of their sending a letter by this route for thousands of miles is nut one of the least triumphs of the clay. A celebrated oculist offered to op- erate on a blind beggar's eyes, and said, "I'll guarantee to restore your sight." "What," cxrinimed the beg- gar, "restore my sight, mid so ruin my business! A pretty notion! 00 you want to deprive Inc of my live- lihood?" noims ;KIDNEY PILLS Mamma (at breakfast table) -You should always use your napkin, Georgie. Georgie- I am using it, mamma. I've got the dog tied to the leg of the table with it. A Requisite for the Rancher. -On tbs cattle ranges of the West, where men and stock aro far from doctors and apothecaries, 1)r. 'Phomas' I•:cleetric Gil in kept on hand by the intelligent as a reedy trade medicine, not only for many human Ills, but as a horse and cattle medicine of surpassing merit. A horse and cattle rancher will find mat- ters greatly simplified by using this • "I shook hands with Bilking this morning Ile doesn't seem well. What's the matter with him?'' "I think it's ennui." "]leavens! my wife would worry if she knew. She's always afraid I'll carry some of these contagious discuses home to the children." Faun Kidneys.- Irin v Faulty oya- line you backache? no you fedi drowsy? Do your limbs feel heavy? 'lave you frequent head- aches? Dave you failing vision? Have you dizzy feeling? Are you depressed? le your skin dry? Have you a tired testing? Any of these signs prove kidney disease. Experience has proved that South American Kidney Cure never fails. -6. Iie�"'Did I ask you to marry me last night nt the dance?" She - "Good gracious, no! Why?" He- "Well-er-you know, 1 got excited, and I often do silly things when I'm like that." No person should go from m heme with- out n bottle: of Dr. .1. D. Kellogg's dy- sentery Cordial In their possession, as tliung,. o► water, cooklugf climate. eke., frequently brings on summer complaint, and there is nothing like bcuig ready with a sure remedy at hand, which often- times haves great inflicting and frequent- ly valuable lives. This Cordial hes gained tor itself a widespread reputa- tion for affording prompt relief from all summer complaints. "E`11RROVIM" 18 A GENTLE S'l'iIIULAN'I' to the stomach, thereby aiding digestion. As a tonic for patients recovering from fevers and all diseases lowering tho vitality. it is without a rival. At. all drug and gen- eral stores. Mr. ifeadstall-"That horse you brought yesterday is a vicious -look- ing unlined. la he kind?" Mr. Cropper -"Kind? I should think so. Why, when he came out of the stable he stood upon his hind legs and tried to embrace 111u." itching, Burning, Creeping, Crawllns Skin Diseases relieved in a few minutes by Agnew'a Ointment. Pr. Aguew's Ointment relieves Instantly. and cures Tetter, Halt Rheum, Scald fiend, E:creena, Ulcers, Hlotchea, and all Eruptions of the Skin. It is soothing and quieting and acts like magic in nil Baby 1iutnors, irritation of the Scalp or Rashes during teething floe. 35 cents a box. -7 She -Before we were married you told ine that you never stayed out late. ite-Did i, dear? She --Yes, you did. Ho -Do you recollect what the time was that night. when I told you that? She -No. Ire -Near- ly twelve o'clock. A Purely Vegetable pill. -Parmelee'= Vegetable /'ills are compounded from roots, herbs end so11.1 extracts of known virtue in the treatment of liver noel kidnc� complaints and In giving hallo to t •e system whether enfeebled by overwork or deranged through 'a- eessel. in 0% lug. They regain, no testi- ueonl own iul. 'I heir exceihoen,.e llt qualities us.,ed 1a welknto all who have than and they connnend (he;nc.ltes to dyspeptics anti those subject to nil:ous• r i ss who are In most of a ,cantle u) ne q medicine. DEVOURED BY BEAR. Terrible Edperiencos of Two Broth- ers in the Tyrol. A terrible adventure with a bear has befallen two Hungarian goat- herds, the brothers Paul and Marlin Dosek, one of %thole was killed and partly devoured by the mental. The brothers were making their way in the direction of the Belebit mountains, one of the most roman- tically beautiful spots in the Tyrol, when they came upon a huge sh- bear 111 the nct of devouring a goat. The bear, disturbed in lir steal, sprang nt the men, who ran for their lives, with iho hear in pur- suit. They finally succeeded 111 climbing a torp) tree, finding 4111 un- certain refuge in a thick overhntoging branch. The bear then sat (limn on her haunches nt the foot of the tree. Shortly after daybreak. Paul, the e lder of the two brothers. probably overcome with Intigue and terror, e tetd)nly lost hie bold, fell, and wns instantly tarn to pieces. Finally, towards noon, the animal tell asleep. Vert In then silently slid down from his porch and made for Divnse'ler where he was given refreshment. He began to loam at the mouth, and made a t.avage at- tack with his teeth on a peasant who was sitting at a table. Four policemen were required to master him. and he was taken to the asylum, a raving maniac. YOUR OVERCOATS wed faded ted& would look better SreL ft so sots al aerate your tens. write dine mearisd. ilea tM BMTIBN AMSRNAM 0111111011 tile. Methal Mary dm Lessees se FARM ACCOUNTS For lits. Mat asld. FARM PUB. moue,. Ides W. ('batbaut, Oat. "But," protested the brkiegrootn. during their little quarrel, "you pro- mi,'ed to love, honor and obey nee." "Maybe I did," replied the bride, "but I had my fingers crossed." PLEASE PEAR 1N MIND that what is called at sktn disease say be but a symptom of had blood. 1a that tains. Weaver's Cerate, externally applied, should be supplemented with Weaver's Syrup, taken daily. "Web," said his wife, "I'll bet you a box of cigars." "No," replied the brute; "I won't bet!" "You're afraid you'll lose." "No; I'm afraid I'd win!" 11 your children are troubled with worms, give them Mother Graves' Worm Exterminator; safe, sure and effectual, Try lt, and mark the tnprsveamet la you: child. Mrs. Littlewit (proudly) -"Oa just think) Charles has gone to ad. dress a public gathering." Friend - "I didn't know he was a speech- maker." Mrs. 'At tlewit-"Nor IJ but he's been called upon to maks a statement before a meeting of kis creditors." Ill fitting boots and ahem cause corns. Holloway's Corn Cara la the article to use. (Set a bottle at once and cure your corns. Three gas companies in London consume between them 4,000,000 tons of coal per annum. Wash greasy dishes, pone or pans with Lever's Dry Soap a powder. It will remove the grease with the greatest ease. Doctor -"You seem to have had a relapse. Looks like a severe case of nervous prostration, too." Patient (weakly) -"Nothing -no- thing at all except looking over your bill." WE ARE ALL FAMILIAR with the deep, hoarse bark, grimly Galled "a grave -yard cough." Take Allen's Lung Balsam, a remedy for pulmonary trou- ble, highly r-••oninlended even rel the earlier stages of Consumption. Ho -"I think every woman is en- titled to be considered man's equal." She -"Well, if she is willing to.bring herself down to his level, i don't see why she shouldn't be allowed to pose as his equal." Rat what you Ilke. - Wye the di- gestive organs some work to do. 'These functions need exerclse es much as any part of the human anatomy. but if they're debeate, give them the aid that Ur. Von Stan's Pineapple Tablets afford and you can cat anything that's wholesome ane] palatable -60 in • box, 35 cents. -ii A very, loquacious lady asked a friend what position he would give her were she a man. "i'(1 make you superintendent of n deaf and tlumh asylum," vine the reply. "Why?" "Because either the inmates would learn to talk or you to keep silent." They Never Knew re.--Carefull observet of the effects of l'arineiee'll Vegetable l'.11a hnF shown that they at% bnmcilirately on the diseased organs n the system, and et' late them to heels thy action. There may be ca.es in which the disease line been long seated and does not easily yield to medicine, but even in such eu.hcs thence fills knee been known to tit relief when ,,I ether ho -called melee have failed ]'hese assertionsc n be substantiated by lnar,y who have used the l'llls. and medical men ,.peak hlgitty of their opiate ties. _— A prison vi-itor recently asked one of the prisoners how he chine to be " wasnese yr. there 'W nt he n t n "How was that, pray?" "Well. 1 wanted another man's watch. Ile wasn't willing I should have it. and the judge wants me to stay here five years." A Pleasant Outy. - "When I know anything v rthy or recommendation, 1 consider it my duly to telt it." says Rev. ins. Murdock. of hamburg. 1'n. "Dr. Agnew's Catarrhal Powder tine cured me of Catarrh of Ate tears standing. It Is certainly magical in its effect. The first aplelicntion bene- fited me In five minutes. 50 cts."-0 Polite 'Tramp-"R'ill you oblige ale with a little vinegar and It bit of rng, madam? i've bruised tips !IPA." Lady of the house -"I'm Nary sorry, but oto• vinegnr is all ou wouldn't a little ran do ns well?" 'I'ranlp-- "i don't know, irradn►n, but CO try It; and--cr-meter mired the to . " Cash or Cure 11 Shiloh'. Consumption Cure fails to care your Cold or Cough, you rt back all yoga paid fix it. You are wee ei a Cure ex the Cash. 1f it wasn't a wee cute, this offer would am be made. Can anything be faire, ? 11 you have a Cold, Cough, nr ,ny efiteeac of the Throat, Lungs or Air Passages, try SHILOH 25c. ref bottle. All &sic,s guaraetee it. ISSUE NO.