The Huron Expositor, 1996-07-03, Page 44-THt HURON RXPO$ITOR, July 3, 191N1
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TERRI-LYNN DALE • General Manager
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PAT ARMES • Office Manager
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DAVE SCOTT - Editor
GREGOR CAMPBELL
• Reporter
BARB STOREY
• distribution
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Published weekly by Signol-Star Publishing of 100 Main St., Seoforth. Publication
mail registration No. 0696 held at Sioforth, Ontario. Advertising is occep ed on
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Wednesday, July 3, 1996
Editorial and Business Offices - 100 Main Street.,Seaforth
Telephone (519) 527-0240 fax (519) 527-2858
Mailing Address - P.O. Box 69,
Seaforth, Ontario, NOK 1 WO
Member of the Canadian Community Newspaper
Association, Ontario Community Newspapers Association
and the Ontario Press Council
Editorial
Elimination of CP
will have immediate
and profound effect
Opinion
Mowing: the lawn...there oughta be a law
Gramineae monocotyledon-
ous is a lethal killer of men
over the age of' 40. .
They are long, green,
ribbon-like, insidious
growths that spread like the
wind and grow in all
directions until they choke
the very will out of men
exposed to them on a regular
basis.
Women, of course, love
thein because they do not go
forth into these manicured
fields of death every
weekend to face this verdant
virus head-on, in a battle man
has been losing since that
first ridiculous reap, the
cruelest cut of all.
No, these are not the latest
diseases to invade man's
prostate ... they're the green
plague of blades of grass that
surround his house and
torment him to death.
"Honey," they yell, "the
grass needs cutting." And
like Moonies, blinded by the
bond of a queer cult, men
lurch forth with mowers. in
hand to cut the hideous heads
off these slimy blades so they
can grow back thicker,
higher, greener, faster.
They're growing right now,
the sick little angiosperms, as
1 write this, as you read this,
at night, on bank holidays, on
Father's Day for goodness
sake. Lawns here, there and
everywhere, like air, that.
need to be trimmed and
fertilized, watered and
oxidized, pampered, weeded
and raked.
Mowing the lawn is the
stupidest, most pointless,
'The speed with which many newspapers last week immedi-
ately called for government intervention in the possible
demise of the Canadian Press wire service and/or a review of
the concentration of press ownership in this country - makes
one wonder why our independent "Fourth Estate" and "free"
press doth grovel so fast.
Some have gone whining for a protective wing from the fed-
eral government right off the bat because our current colourful
press power, Conrad Black, is quite simply good at what he
does. . . ,
He nlns 'newspapers,- some among the world's best and oth-
els considered far worse, that make money: A lot of observa-
tions he has made about the state -of the industry he is eating
up in this country are smack dab - right on - boring, pre-
dictable, getting 'worse, probably dead as a dodo shortly if the
business doesn't get back to basics and pull up its socks in this
Internet age.
Black is a good businessman first and foremost, and one of
-ourown - a Canadian who made good elsewhere, in the ,big -
buck trenches in the ink -stained rough-and-tumble of .
England's Fleet Street among other places; before coming
home to roost with what some now say is a vengeance. • •
If CP does g� down it will have a profound and immediate
effect on the newspaper business in this country, and even
more so on its broadcast affiliate BN, which brings you- a
hefty per cent of the news you hear on radio by wire. This is
not necessarily a bad thing..
'Despite the doom and gloom and talk of ogres, the smart,
tough newspapermen, and women, will survive and thrive.
For news, is the still the name of this game and•it still sells,
goes better with a cup of coffee than a 'laptop, and Black
knows it. And if the "old boy" network can't figure out this
simple fact there is a wired and 'hungry young generation out
there with some interesting new tools that just might blow us
all away. .
Papers are in the information business,not some kind of
sacred trust.. If they' don't make money you eventually lose
them. . -
Let the chips fall where they may in this changing techno-
logical age. But government and a ftec press should never be
bedfellows in this democracy.
It is in a large part because of ill-advised government restric-
tions on foreign press ownership in Canada that thc shrewd
Mr. Black has risen so rapidly to such prominence. He has lit-
tle competition. There are only so many press barons to go
around •
• And some of these are foreigners, you see. who need not
apply here.
You can be a Canadian success story on Fleet Street, but not
the other way around because of this accepted but twisted
logic. The nationalists won't let you. These thought police
want you to think their way, with what one wit at The
Economist covered in a nutshell recently with the comment
that Canadians seem to have a distinct "passion for the
bronze."
This flag-waving jingoism has protected the complacently
mediocre. . -
Because no nationality knows anything more than any other
about truth, which indeed makes us free - and is what good
journalism is all about.
Without fear or favour. - JGC
Golf tournament raises funds
Dear Editor: • thank the golfers for partici-
.On June 1, 1996 The Lung
Association, Huron -Perth
held the First Annual Golf
Tournament sponsored by
Horizon Pro Health. What a
great day it was! Thcrc was
beautiful weather, a terrific
golf course and thirty teams
of golfers. Over $450() was
raised to support thc work of
The Lung Association.
So many individuals and
businesses contributed to the
success of the event. Many
more individuals and busi-
nesses donated wonderful
prizes. We would like to
pating and making the event
so successful. Special thanks
gots to Tim Ertel from the
Mitchell Golf Course, The
Lung Association Golf
Committee, Mark Philbin of
CJCS and the volunteers who
worked at' the tournament to
keep things running smooth-
ly. Our warmest thanks to
everyone for your support.
Sincerely,
. Anita Looby
Fundraising and Volunteer
Co-ordinator
The Lung Association,
Huron -Perth Counties
useless, worthless activity -
practiced by man.
Who was the first weak-
willed, hen-pecked husband
to succumb to this folly? I
know it was a woman's idea,
but like all really bad ideas, it
needed a man to make it a
reality.
"Honey, I think you should
take the sickle and cut the
field between the house and
the road." -
"Cut the grass? .But where
will the cattle graze? Where
will the pigs root? Where will
I park my buckboard? And
_when I run out of paper,
where else can I just reach
out and grab a handful o_f
long grass to..."
"Honey, did you hear me?"
"Yes, dear. Do you want me
to trim around the outhouses
or move them to the back?"
"Put 'em in the back and '
turn the soil closest to the 4
house. I want.you to plat"
some flowers for me."
"Flowers'?! You can't eat
flowers! You can't feed. .
flowers to the animals!
Flowers don't have no -
value!"
"Honey, did you hear me?"
"Annuals or perennials,
dear?"
At the very least, I hope a -
flower was planted in this
man's memory -- the purple
pansy, the one with the
yellow face.
I wouldn't say my grass has
been growing extraordinarily
fast these last few rain -
soaked weeks, but I can't
remember a summer when I
needed a machete to find my
car in the morning.
Never mind that mowing
the lawn breaks your back
and makes you a moveable
feast for mosquitoes -- it's
very dangerous.
Every summer some guy,
while refueling his lawn
-mower, coughs on the fumes,
-spits his�cigarette into the gas.
can and inadvertently, we.
send another proud Canadian
into space.
Every summer, some guy
will try and clean the
underside of his mower while
it's still running and yet
another green thumb lands in
the neighbour's rock garden.
Every summer some guy
will kick a wad of grass off
the mower's wheel and
instantly --`toe jam'.
It's criminal, the time and
money we spend on our
caring for our lawns. And
what do they give us in
• return? Ant -hills. crabgrass,
-prickly weeds and dog poop.
Think of it this way, your
lawn might he the only thing
in your life that you really
cherish, that gives you more
grief -than -your kids.
Years ago; I was, in Danny
Zack's Bar in Buffalo, New
York on a Saturday
afternoon, when Danny's "
wife called ro remind him the
grass needed cutting at their :
cottage in Crystal Beach,
Ontario.
It was the last time Anna
would ever need to make
such a call because after he
hung up, Danny called a Fort
Erie pre -mix concrete
company.
As the waves of fresh
cement washed over the
lawn, women wept, men
drooled and the blades made
squeaky little dying noises
like lobster in boiling pots of
water.
If you're ever driving
through Crystal Beach and
you see a cottage that looks.
like it was built on the
sidelines of a basketball
court, that's not just Danny
Zack's cottage, it's a
monument to -men
everywhere who have the
courage to stop the insanity.
Men don't climb mountains
because they are there and
they don't go to thc North
Pole to be with penguins - -
they go there because there's
no grass to cut. If they had an
outside draft tap like Danny's
cottage, we'd all go there:
PHOTO BY DAVID scow
.TEAM EFFORT - Members of the Clinton Fire Department, in light -coloured uniforms, help Seaforth firemen, right, battle .
the Main Street blaze on Sunday moming. The PUC bucket truck was used to spray water in the upper floor.
Seaforth boy hunts for treasure in Yukon
FROM THE PAGES OF
THE HURON EXPOSITOR -
JULY 10,1896
COWS 'POISONED . We
havemade mention before of
the dastardly outrage perpe-
trated upon the farm of Mr.
Christopher Miller, of the
township of Hay. We see
chronicled a similar one from
Elgin 'county, near St.
Thomas. A dispatch from
that place, dated July 3rd,
says: Some miscreant perpe-
trated a diabolical crime yes-
terday. When Dugald D.
Campbell, who lives on
Oneida road, near Southwold
station, went to get his stock,
he found 10 cows and two
horses violently sick. In a
few minutes two cows s were
dead.
Mr. Campbell telegraphed
for Dr. Edmunds, V.S., of St.
Thomas, and the latter, on
examination, found that the
animals had been poisoned
by eating paris green. A strip
of ground in the pasture field,
six feet long and two feet in
width, was found covered
with the , poison. Mr:
Campbel•I has had no paris
green on the farm for years,
and the work was evidently
done by enemies.
A HURON BOY'S EXPE-
DITION - In the Nanaimo,
British Columbia, Free Press,
of Juni; 25th, we find the fol-
lowing reference to the
adventures of an old Seaforth
boy, son of Mrs. Sloan, of
this town: Mr. Thos.
Glaholm received a letter
yesterday from Mr. William
Sloan, now en route to the
Yukon. He writes from Lake
Bennett under date of May
24th, and states that he,
together with thc rest of his
In the Years Agone
party, comprising eight men
altogether, expect to leave in
the course of four days in
their boats. Their destination
is known to one man alone,
who religiously preserves the
secret until such time is as it
is necessary to divulge it.
He has led his companions
to believe, however, that he
has discovered a bonanza. A
number of miners have
threatened to follow the
Sloan party in order to learn
where this rich strike is locat-
ed,
but as soon as the ice
breaks in the river the latter
will give their pursuers the
slip. In some cases' the cur-
rent rushes along at the rate
of 20 miles an hour.
JULY 8,1921
ST. COLUMBAN CWL -
The euchre given by the
CWL in the parish hall on
Tuesday evening, June 28th,
was a most decided success,
both socially and financially.
The prizes were won by the
following: Ladies' first prize,
handsome table runner, won
by Mrs. Michael Downey;
gentleman's first prize,
umbrella, won by Mr. Frank
Melady; third prize, box of
stationery, won by Mr. Louis
O'Reilly. The chairman of
the evening was Mr. William
Moms, voiced the sentiments
of the League pertaining to
the president, Mrs. Wm.
Dorsey, the other officers and
members, who helped to
make the evening so enjoy-
able to all.
AN OLD TIMER - While
taking the census in
McKillop recently, Mr. R.
Scarlett came across one
farmer who holds the record
for the number of years spent
on one farm. This was Mr.
John Flannery, of the 14th
concession, who purchased
his land from the Canada
Company in 1863, and is still
working the same farm.
Fifty-eight years is a long
time to reside in one place
and Mr. Flannery has seen
many changes in the town-
ship in that time.
JULY 12, 1945
FOOTBALL TEAM IN
SEMI-FINALS - Scoring a 2-
0 victory over Ethel in a foot-
ball game at the recreation
grounds Friday evening,
Seaforth won a berth in the
Huron Football League play-
offs. The 'first goal was
scored by J. O'Connor from
E. Mclver; the second by F.
"Production" Sills from J.
O'Connor.
* * *
A home -run by Bill Smith
featured a softball game
between Clinton Radio
School and Seaforth at Lions
Park Wednesday evening,
when Seaforth won 29-3.
TWELFTH ANNUAL
SUMMER CARNIVAL -.
Two nights, Wednesday and
Friday, July 17 and 19, each
jam-packed with entertain-
ment thrills are planned by
the Seaforth Lions Club for
the club's 12th annual sum-
mer carnival.
Heading the Wednesday
night entertainment are the
Whirlos, an amazing roller
skating exhibition. Also on
the program are Pat
Mclnstosh, a singing comedi-
an of the, old Scholl, and
Gordon Bernisiski, an out-
standing accordion player.
The Ovettes. popular 'magi-
cians, and the Ripleys, an
acrobatic team that is as good
as any in thc business spot-
light will appear on the
Friday night show..
A special feature on Friday
night will he thc 50-piecd
London Police Boys' Band,
which recently captured hon- •
ors at the Waterloo Music .
Festival. The Lucknow Pipe
Band and the Seaforth
Highlanders Band will be on
the program both nights.
JULY 15, 1971
The walk and hike-a-thon
to Bayfield sponsored jointly
by the Seaforth District High
School and Seaforth
Recreational Committee last
month produced $1,922.79
figures released this week
reveal.
Top producer was Cindy
MacDonald who brought in
$95. Top hoy was Ron
Henderson with $45.83.
***
Seaforth Town Council,
meeting Monday night,
received the 1970 financial
statement from the town
auditors. Clarkson • and
Gordon of London showing a
surplus of $8.874 for the
1970 fiscal year.
***
Bus schedules serving
pupils in McKillop Township
attending Seaforth Public
School. St. James Separate
School and St.. Columban ,
Separate School will he inte-
grated when school resumes
in September.