The Huron Expositor, 1995-11-29, Page 5Letters to the Editor e
Good time had by all but the deceased
Given that we are living in
one of the most violent years in
the history of western civiliza-
tion - what would you guess is
one of our most popular forms
of recreation?
That's right, murder mystery.
The thinking here is that if you
didn't see anybody bumped off
on the street on your way home
from work, then at least you're
entitled to see somebody die
during dinner, dammit!
I have successfully avoided
murder mysteries to this point
in my life. I felt no need to wal-
low in the vulgar details of
manslaughter mainly because I
already watch a thing we like to
call "the evening news." Until
last week, that is.
That's when I accepted an
invitation to participate in a
murder mystery dinner on the
New York and Lake Erie
Railroad which goes from
Gowanda to Cherry Creek in
Western New York, just south
of Buffalo.
I got a little nervous when the
tickets arrived by mail and on
mine there was a punch hole
beside the words one way.
That's when I decided to pack
my starter's pistol, just in case.
I love trains and these old,
wide dining cars of the NY and
LE line are things of nostalgic
beauty.
There is one foreboding rule
on the NY and LE murder mys-
tery trip - somebody, somehow
must die.
Lately this has become kind
of an unwritten rule on Amtrak
trains as well, but they don't
refer to it as entertainment.
During the four-hour return
trip you are supposed to identi-
fy the strange people, the
eccentrics, the garishly dressed
passengers who are obviously
up to no good.
This I did with no difficulty
whatsoever wilting their
descriptions down on my detec-
tive note pad.
1 was a little disappointed
when our waitress, reading my
notes over my shoulder,
informed me that the people I
had fatally fingered were actu-
ally members of the Dunkirk,
New York ladies 10 -pin bowl-
ing league on their annual sea-
sonal outing.
You get a little paranoid
when you're told that "every-
body, I mean everybody, on
this train could be a potential
killer!" As we entered the
blackness of "The Old Stone
Tunnel" I hid my date's steak
knife under the seat and
switched our glasses of wine.
When the lights came back on, I
noticed my steak knife was
missing and the lipstick smudge
was still on her glass of wine. I
made a note that if we both sur-
vived the trip, we definitely
have to talk.
As you look around, suspect-
ing everybody, you realize that
even in the comfort of your
own dinner table, how vulnera-
ble you are to some lunatic with
a weapon that you don't even
know.
I mean, sure,.this happens all
the time at the official residence
of our prime minister but ...
here, while sipping wine pass-
ing through Amish country, it
kind of shakes you up.
So the mystery characters
work the dining cars.— the psy-
chiatrist in het mink stole, the
fat man with the facial ticks, the
obnoxious photographer flash -
Thomas
ing in your face - all liars, neu-
rotics and ne'er-do-wells.
This theme was incorporated
into Murder mysteries after it
worked so well in high-profile
trials in Los Angeles.
Suddenly, it happened - a
shriek, a moan and the psychot-
ic woman who hates men is
being dragged down the aisle
with a knife protruding from
her blood-stained blouse. It was
brutal - you couldn't get a wait-
er for almost five full minutes.
As the trio, one dead and two
in panic, passed by our table I
gripped the starter's pistol in my
pocket and squeezed off two
shots. Honest, I did this and I
shouldn't have and I'm sorry.
But if you could have seen
the looks on the faces of the
mystery characters who
arranged all the clues around a
stabbing - well, it was like .
U.N. favours child rights over
parental rights, says writer
Dear Editor,
It has been with much
interest to follow the
philosophical debate in child
rearing in regards to spanking
children.
I can certainly respect the
opinions of our socially
conscious but politically
correct group that favours
absolution of spanking. Since
Dr. Spock came along and
perverted many a young
couple's mind in the fifties to
the exalted lofty saviour of
the United Nations, this group
with the . same political
mindset favours child rights
over parental rights. I wonder,
is their next step to make
laws declaring no person over
the age of twelve should run
for political office!
These people say if you
love your child then you
should not spank them.
Hogwash. If you don't set
standards and limits backed
up by the possibility of
physical force, then these
same darling children will
grow up into delinquent
Descendants of
Hicks sought
Dear Editor,
I am interested in hearing
from any of your readers who
are descended, as I am, from
Thomas Hicks and Lydia
Hicks (nee Humiston?).
Thomas and Lydia lived in
Hensall, and may have
operated a hotel in Goderich
in the 1880s. One of their
sons, my great grandfather
John Hicks, was for many
years a principal in
Beamsville, Ontario.
Yours Sincerely,
Bruce Cross
21 D'Arcy St.
Perth, ON K7H 219
OPP contract now
officially passed
Seaforth Council' gave third
reading and passed the bylaw
officially contracting the On-
tario Provincial Police at its
Nov. 14 meeting.
In response to :1 question
from Coun. Brian Ferguson,
Deputy -Reeve Bill Teal!, Coun-
cil's representativ:: on the
Seaforth Police Services Board,
said the town had its late con-
cerns addressed and will be
getting the service it contracted
for.
He added Seaforth is now
patrolled for more hours every
week than it was before the
switchovcr at the end of last
month.
cretins that respect neither
person nor property.
Mankind is depraved and
self-centred (I'm not being
politically correct) who either
will worship self or if raised
properly to love and obey
God. By the way, God's
wrath against us is very much
evident if one would care to
read the whole Bible and not
just the mushy parts. Even in
the New Testament Church,
Ananias and Sapphira both
met death because of their
lying to the Holy Spirit (Acts
Chapter 5). I would also
suggest you read Revelation
for what is coming.
As for the United Nations,
this institution has done more
to destroy and murder
(abortion) than all the wars in
recorded history. This
organization is morally and
financially corrupt. Canada
11
should not participate in this
organization in any regard
whatsoever.
Unfortunately, like most
socially bankrupt policies, not
spanking will turn out to be
like most policies, give you a
warm fuzzy feeling until
years down the road it raises
its ugly head and bites you,
by then it will be too late.
Oh, don't feel ' like I'm
picking on you or preaching,
Canada as a country doesn't
make anybody responsible
anymore for anything, we
have all become victims of
something.
Too bad!
Sincerely,
Bruce Bennett
RR 2 Seaforth
P.S. I don't believe in any
type of abuse and that it
should be prosecuted to the
fullest extent.
1
f
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EVER
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watching four high-ranking
Mounties mentally fighting
over the same alibi.
In resolving the murder the
plain -clothes detective inter-
viewed passengers and placed
together the plot, step by step.
But the passengers in our car
kept asking about the two gun
shots they heard. The detectives
told them to ignore the gun
shots and concentrate on the
knife.
Ignoring obvious evidence
witnessed by a carload of peo-
ple? What was this - a murder
mystery or the Simpson jury's
first annual reunion?
A good time was had by all
but the deceased. The food was
surprisingly good for being pre-
pared enroute, the cash bar very
reasonable and the entertain-
ment excellent.
I honestly have not had so
much fun at a killing since
November of 1993 when we
massacred the descendants of
Brian Mulroney in a national
election.
As it turns out, this cast of
talented young actors who per-
form the murder mysteries are
members of Zaidlin
Productions, of Toronto.
Yes murder is in such high
demand in America, they're
actually having to import
skilled labour from north of the
border.
Trailer: The New York & Lake
Erie Railway runs murder mys-
tery dinners every third
Saturday of the month (except
January) plus special Santa
Claus trips for kids and a New
Year's Eve Special. Note: Santa
don't die, okay? Information:
716-532-5716.
Teacher charged
A 44 -year-old Grade 6
teacher at Victoria Public
School in Goderich has been
charged with sexual
exploitation after a child
reported an incident Nov. 11.
Bill Reid appeared for a bail
• hearing Nov. 20, was released
with conditions, and is
scheduled to appear in court
again Jan. 8.
He has been re -assigned to
non -classroom activities by the
Huron County Board of
Education.
THE HURON EXPOSITOR, Novi, 20, 1f!!<-11
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