The Exeter Advocate, 1915-9-2, Page 701E ONLY CURE FOR
A WEAK STOMACH
_di
estio and S1mliar Troubles
s
Must be Treated Through
the Blood.
Indigestion can be treated in many
"' el 'ays, but it can only be cured in one
evey—through the blood. Purgatives
TWEle cannot cure indigestion. By main
they move on the food still indi-
—gestecl. That weakens the whole sys-
tem, uses up the natural juices and
leaves the stomach, and bowels parch-
ed and sore. It is actually a cause of
Ta indigestion—not a cure. 'Others try
Rr pre-digested foods and peptonized
drugs, But drugs which digest the
food for the stomach really weaken,
its power and makes the trouble i
chronic. The digestive organs can
never do the work properly until they
are strong enough to do it themselves.'
Nothing can give the stomach that
power but the new, rich, red blood
so abundantly supplied by Dr, Wil -
Hams' Pink Pills, So the reason for
the success of this medicine is plain.;
Nothing can stimulate the glands and
nothing can absorb the nourishment
,
MAKING PUNS OF
PROPER NAMES
THE ANGUISH OF THE FIRST
DAYS AT SCHOOL,
Examples From Literature" of Some.
of the Crimes Which Are
Perpetrated,.
If the men who would make a pun
would pick a pocket, what are we to
say of the abandoned creature who
makes jokes upon proper names? He
znay not know it, but he is ripe for
penal servitude, says the. London
Globe, Everybody with a name upon
which punning is possible remembers
the anguish of the first days at school
when, trembling wretch, he had to
disclose his unfortunate cognomen to
inquisitorial bigger boys, and watch-
, ed with apprehension as the possibili-
ties of the name for word play
brought a delighted grin to the goes-
tioner, ,And the sorrow's crown of
. sorrow was that every puerile humor-
ist made exactly the same pun; so
• that to the indignity of having one's
name made the subject of jest and
mirth was added the intense ennui
produced by listening to the sante not
too brilliant jou d'esprit over and
over again, Schoolboys are very ten-
acious of anything that appeals to
their crude sense of humor;. and the
anhapta new boy was never allowed
to hear the last of the exquisite joke.
There are -certain.' formulae about
name jokes in the ranks of our regu-
lar army. Every recruit called Mur-
phy is immediately rechristened
"Spud"—the derivation is obvious.
Also, in the same way a Lee becomes
"Gypsy," his comrades feigning to
believe that he must of necessity be-
long to the fanious Romany family.
All Clarks (or Clarkes) are "Nobby,"
but the applicability of this nickname
is a mystery.
In the Days of Theodore Hook
and his merry friends jokes upon pro-
per names were quite the thing; and,
n me food nut pure rest i?l000,
And Dr. Williams' Pink Pills surpass!
all other medicines in giving that l
new, rich blood. 11,1iss B. E. Johnson,,
Hereford, N.S., says; "For months 1±
was a great sufferer from indigestion;!
food of ally kind Was distasteful to
lite, and after eating I would suffer
much. Naturally I grew weak and.
was but a shadow of my former self..
I was taking a doctor's prescription,
but it did not help me in the least.,
Then I read of a case similar to my
own cured through the use of Dr.
Williams' Pink Pills and 1 decided to
try this medicine. By the time I had
taken six boxes the trouble had en-
tirely disappeared, and I could eat
heartily of all kinds of food, More
than this I found my general health
greatly improved through the use of
the Pills. I can therefore strongly
recommend Dr. Williams' Pink Pills'
as a cure for indigestion."
You can get these Pills through
any dealer in medicine or by mail, d
post paid, at 50 cents a box or six!
boxes for $2,50 from The Dr. Wil-!
Harris' Medicine Co., Brockville, Ont.
A CHINESE JACOB.
while the auditors grinned, the vic-
tim bore the infliction with as much
dignity as he could summon up. As
a specimen of Hookian wit of this
kind the 'following may serve: "A hu-
morist of this epoch (I am not quite
sure whether it was the sprightly
Theodore himself) invited to the house
of a Mr. Pepper, greeted his host with
Took IHis Teacher's Advice and Thus the words: "How happy you must be,
Gained the Emperor's Favor. Mr. Pepper, to see your friends all
mustered!" A better instance, per -
How Hsien Feng, winning his fa- haps, is Hook's impromptu when a
tiler's favor after the manner of tax collector called Winter was seen
Jacob, reigned in his stead andhas- to be at the door:
tened the swift decline' of the Man-
chu dynasty in China, is told by Here comes Mr. Winter collector of
Messrs. E. Backhouse and J. O. P. taxes,
Bland in "Annals and Memoirs of the I advise you to pay him whatever he
Court of Peking." axes.
Toward the end of his reign, Tao You had much better pay him without
Kuang, concerned as to the succession, any flummery,
lead
.almost decided to confer it upon Though Winter's his name his pro-
iis favorite son, Prince Kung, a ceedings are summary.
young man much superior in charac-
ter and intelligence to him who event- This form of pun is no new one,
ually became heir to the throne. It indeed. Even in the seventeenth cen-
happened, however, that the latter's tury it rankly flourished. During the
tutor, Ts'ao, Chenung, knew of the protectorate some of the late king's
emperor's predilection, and, desiring adherents, drinking together, would
to enhance his own position, cast follow a crura of bread with a draught
about for some means of inducing the of wine, and then utter the - pious
sovereign to change his mind and con- wish: •
for the succession upon his pupil.
"God Send This Crumb Well Down!"
The emperor, following the dynastic
tradition, had given orders one day No follower of Oliver could possibly
that his sons should go hunting in object to such an innocent wish.
the southern park. Etiquette requir- Even the solemnity of our law
ed that a prince who had not cora-' courts has been disturbed by the name
pleted his studies should ask his tutor ; pun. There is a story about a cer-
for permission to absent himself for tain barrister whose elocution was
the day. Hsien Feng therefore at -1 not always of the clearest, especially
tended at the lecture room in the pal -las regards his aspiration. His name
ace and found his tutor there alone.] was Channell. Arguing a case in the
The prince went up, and making the: Admiralty Division, he left the bench
bow that ceremony requires, asked' in some doubt whether a certain ves-
for leave. sel he mentioned was the Helen or
Ts-ao asked for what purpose, and the Ellen. "Is there an 'h' in the
he answered: name?" the Judge at last inquired.
"The emperor wishes me to take "Yes, my Lord," broke in his learned
a day's shooting."
Ts'ao whispered to him:
"A-ko (the Manchu word used in nell. The most- fearsome and com-
speaking of or addressing princes, plete pun of this kind was made by
meaning literally, elder brother), take an examiner who had to tell a certain
my advice: when you reach the park, undergraduate the result of his viva
sit you and watch the others shoot- voce. The undergraduate's name
ing. Do not fire a shot, and give or- was. Field Flowers Goe, and he sub-
ders to your huntsmen not to set any sequently -attained some eminence in
traps. If the emperor asks you forthe church. The verdict was, "The
your reason tell him that at this Field is ploughed, the Flowers are
spring season it is not right to take plucked, and you, sir, -can Goe!"
life, because both birds and lteasts F There is a variety of the pun upon
have their. young to take care of, anda name, however, that one is almost
such slaughter is a violation of natur- inclined to forgive, or at least to re-
al harmony. Take care not to quer- gard with a certain leniency.'. It is
Fel with your brothers, but do not en- j when some familiar quotation is giv-
deavor to emulate them. If you, en an apt twist which brings in
a-ko, will remember this, you are cer- 1 "The -Cognomen of the Victim.
tain to win His Majesty's approval,' One of the best of this kind is attri-
for I know His Majesty's disposition. buted to Sir. William Harcourt. Lis
On this hinges your whole future. Be tening to a long descended baronet
careful; do not forget." named Knightley descanting on the
When the princes returned in the antiquity of his family, the politician
evening • ;and reported to their father, was heard to misquote a well-known
only Hsien Feng had an empty bag. • hymn as follows:
To Tao Kuang's questions he replied
exactly as his tutor had told him to And Knightley to the listening earth
Recounts the story of his birth.
friend on the other side, "but it has
been lost in the chops of the Chan -
do.
The emperor was delighted, and
said, "This is the conduct of a super- From the. United States comes the
for man," • and from • that day he de- story of an unwilling auditor of Sena-
cided to make hiin his heir. tor Lodge, who, as the Senatorial elo-
In later years, when'Tao Kuang had quence showed `' no signs of ceasing,
passed away, Hsien Feng raised his muttered' to his neighbor: "Olt; for a
tutor to the rank of assistant grand Lodge in some vast wilderness!"
secretary,: but he died : before attain James Payn, the novelist and editor,
ing to still higher honors. The em- was notoriously averse to physicalex-
peror wept bitterly, and proceeded in ercise. A gentle stroll from the Corn
person to offer a sacrifice to his re- hill offices in Waterloo Place to the
remains, besides :conferring upon him Reform Club was the : limit of his
the highest posthumous honors given pedestrianism. So it was not strange
to a Chinese during the last century. that he showed signs of acute discordED. 6.•
fort on a country ramble. As the
party climbed a steep aeclivity in the
curs athe
course f walk oneof them,no-,
tieing the novelist's distress, whisper-
ed to another; "The labor we delight
in physics Payn," .
.14
flow to Awake
Fresh as a Daisy
Constipation Gone!
No other remedy acts the same.
Works while you sleep, smooth, silent,,
effective. Cures the worst headache
or constipation. This is what hap-
pens when you use Dr, Hamilton's
Pills, For wind or pain in the stom-
ach nothing works better. No bad
FARM. FOR RENT;
F LOOOING 1rO2 A %AAf.'RM. CONSULT
e. T 4 o °
have over Two HundredA �
o
ifm lo°ated in the best section' of Os.
taxi°, "11l Stacy, H. sv Ilaavion. Brampton,
NErysearEns Foil $Atte,
PROFXT-31AKINQ 1.10WS.. AND T[?B
Offices for sale In good Ontario
towns, The most useful and interesting
of all businesses. Volt infornnation on
application to Wilson Publishing Cotes-
pang, 73 West Adelaide 6t., T.orento,
wOaES Z'OR f3AX.E. ,.
jIPXI,S"- OI?F BLa3CK,
A' reale; one .Sv. per cent, female. Pair.
Red cross breeders. Island lateen, '4i'rite
for tow prices. T, E. Lyons, Waterville,,
{ Rings Co„ N.S.
MiSCELLeiesoug,
CIANCPIR, Tir344103, imme44.
11 J� internal aux external, cued wttis-
cut pato lty °tiF tremae treatment. Wrtta
n. before too late. Pr. Beltmaa 14edica1
Co„ Limttatl,. Coilingwood. Oat:
taste left behind, no furred tongue,.
no more dizzy spells or bilious fits
after taking Hamilton's Pitts. All the
old costiveness, frightful dreams and
nervous disorders disappear as a ship
in the night. The appetite is sharpen-
ed up, takes on a keen edge. You en-
joy your meals, relish and digest
them.. Strength and buoyant spirits
return, You feel good, you look like
your old self again with bright eyes
and rosy cheeks, The best guarantee
of good. health and old age that man
and woman can have is the regular
use of this family PM. Suited to all
ages, you should get a few 25e. boxes
from the drug store and keep them
handy, Remember the name, ---Dr,
Hamilton's Pills of Mandrake and
Butternut. No substitute so good as
the genuine,
EMPIREGOWNS HOLD THEIR
OWN.
Empire dresses of very simple cut
are extremely fashionable and will
be welcomed by the woman who does
her own dressmaking, because they
are so easy to make. A pattern that
has the smartest of the Empire feat-
ures is Ladies' Home Journal Pattern
No. 8989. This has a simple waist
with removable chemisette with high
neck or square outline. The collar is
No. 8989.
circular and the sewed -in sleeves can
be made full length or shorter as pre-
ferred. The four -gore skirt finishes
at the top with an upstandiiig frill.
The pattern cuts in sizes 32 to 44
inches bust measure, requiring in size
36, 7% yards 27 -inch, 67/8 yards 36 -
inch or 5% yards 42 -inch material
with 1/4 yard 12 -inch net for chemis-
ette and 1 yard ribbon for belt.
Patterns, 15 cents each, may be ob-
tained at your local dealers or at the
Home Pattern Company, 183-A
George Street, Toronto, Ontario.
A man is out of spirits when there
isn't a drop in the house. ...
If wishes were horses, beggars
would want airships.
The Speaker in the British'House
of Commons may only vote upon an
equal division.
After the members of the royal
family, the Archbishop of Canterbury
is, the first peer of the realm.
"•I understand you began your life
as a newsboy," observed the friend
admiringly. "No," replied the mil-
lionaire, "Some one ` has been fooling
you. I began life as an infant."
He (addressing the little sister of
his betrothed)—"Don't you know me,
little one? Who am I, then?" Little
One (btightly)-"I know. You're my
sister's last chance."
1<
ISSUE ` 36—'15.
NEW xoRx.
Lakeside Farm
147 Acres,, $1,$00? Easy Terms.
E A. J7T> WL ZONE. Mone r snaking
farm, borders lake 1 mite. halting, boat-
ing; 3 mile to village. R,11. station, high
school, machine -worked fields cut LO
tons hay. other good crops, 60 acres lake
and brook -watered, pasture 17 acres
wood, variety fruit, 8 room house, flue
shade, charming view, big barn, -other
buildings, aged owner must retire, great
bargain for some one at 41.600, easy
terms; full details and travelling direc-
tions to see this and other farms. mane
with. livestock and tools included, page
13, "Strout's Farre Catalogue 38." Write
to -day for your free copy. 13. A. Strout
Farm Agency, Station x417, University
Block, Syracuse, N.%,
IZl►tA�' 1°''$i n e"
Aweroa' f GJ'yaAal" CytftfedOAa 3td",g..lRLaQsxAHftrt.Fna"itaQpnarCdOfnqq
iy'Y,qoadad 4 otic it+aHMaoet."Ggf
•
;5165.10.4._
5�t+,'tyke
illai/*fo-t
Matra{"Cilalo$04 * ! ,a
Terre Opens gents her let,
L JO T
734 Xoage St., TO3,OZ TO.
igit Grade School, Nona Better
Canada. Write for New Collage
Announcement..
Highest Cash
Prices Paid for
GINSENG
We are the largest buyers of
Ginseng in America and have the
greatest demand for it. We can
therefore pay you the highest cash
prices. If you have any wild or
cultivated Ginseng, write for our
latest price list, or ship what you
have and we will submit you our
highest offer.
David Blustein & Bro.
162 W. 27th St., NewYork, U.S.A.
GASES IN WARFARE.
Are the Most Virulent and Irritant of
Poisons.
That the Germans were determined
to break the agreement of the Hague
Convention by which the powers pro-
mised to abstain from the use of all
asphyxiating gases is evident from
the fact that their patent office re-
cords show that Krupps patented a
gun for throwing poisonous gas
bombs some years before the war.
The specifications show that it would
throw a 150 -pound bornb a distance of
400 yards, causing the death of every-
body within a radius of 400 feet.
The use of asphyxiating gases in
the form of bombs and other contriv-
ances is really a revival of the an-
cient methods of warfare applied to
modern conditions. The gas bomb is
a modernized "stink -pot," which the
Chinese have employed from time im-
memorial; but whereas the old Chi-
nese "stink -pot" merely rendered men
unconscious, poisonous gases employ-
ed to -day are the most virulent and
irritant of poisons, and few men re-
cover from the effects after they have
inhaled the gas to any extent.
St. Isidore, P.Q., Aug. 18, 1894.
Minard's Liniment Co., Limited.
Gentlemen,—I have frequently used
MINARD'S LINIMENT and also pre-
scribe it for my patients always with
the most gratifying results, and I
consider it the best all-round Lini-.
ment extant.
Yours truly,
DR. JOS. AUG. SIROIS.
The Peer and the Parrot.
The Late Lord Selborne, who was
of a very pious turn and read pray-
ers regularly at home, had' a favorite
parrot which was keit in one of the
sitting -rooms. This bird escaped one
day and was reported to be at the
top of one of the trees 'at .the end of
Portland Place, where they lived. Sel-
borne and his daughter hastened to
try and recover the treasure. When
they came to the place "Pretty Poll,
pretty Poll, come then," cries Miss
Panner persuasively; but Poll does.
not. stir. The Chancellor -then takes
the matter up. "Stay," says he; `!let
me try; he knows my voice better."
So, in a deep voice he says, "Pretty
Poll, Poll, Poll, come, pretty Poll!"
"Let'us pray!" 'says pretty Poll from
the tree -top, but does not move.
Minard's Liniment - Suttee Berns, Etc.
Scot Killed by a Lion..
A communication has been received
Mn.George xge Sinclair of Knowes
MII, Prestonkirk, Scotland, from the
British South Africa, Company, giving
particulars of the death of his son,
Norman, who was killed by a lioness
while acting as a. scout on the north-
west border of Northern Rhodesia.
While riding ahead of a party of na-
tive carriers, Mr, Sinclair sighted six
lions devouring a dead man, Ile
fired three times at a lioness; the lions
made off, and he immediately follow-
ed them. Conning upon the wounded
lioness he dismounted from his horse,
but before he could firee the lioness'.
charged, and seized him by the left
arm. His rifle fell to the ground, but
he gat out his knife and stabbed the
animal repeatedly in the neck.. His
left arm was broken, and the lioness
struck him on the left side round to
the spine before succumbing to her
own wounds. Mr. Sinclair's injuries
were so severe that he died the fol-
lowing morning,
Sore Absolutely
Painless
No Butting, an pie
Corns tars or pads to Keesitis dare slsot,;
GPutnam's Extractor
a makes tine cora go
without pain. Takes
out the sting over-nlgbt, Never Valle
—leaves no scar. Get a 26e. bottle of
Putnsm'S Corn Extractor today;
How She Played..
Mary—Mrs, Delaney says her little;
girl has learned to play the piano in j
no time. i
Alice ---Yes, I heard her playing!
just that way the other day.
3oinar Va xenbnent for Rare everywhere.
Helping a Lady.
"Jack, 1 wish you'd come to see
e occasionally."
"Why, Vanessa, I thought you were
gaged to Algernon Wombat?"
"No; but I think I could' be if I
et up a little brisk competition."
OMITS
CLEANS lir ll►
AND APO AL AO
DISINFECTS
IMPURE
MADE IN
CANADA
7
..w,..,-
ttr10404xo err
1J7()f
A Cemetery Cough.
An old maxi was leaning against
the walls of a cemetery tot long
ago, and, being tired, he sat down to
rest on one of the stone seats that are
placed at the gates of a cemetery.
The old man hada very bad cough,
and it was while he was in a bad it
of coughing that a young lean ap-
preached him, Thinking he would
take a rise out of the old man he
said: "I'll tell you, old man, you've
got a cemetery cough." "Maybe," re-
plied the old man, with a knowing
wink in his eye, "but there's lots In
that cemetery that would be glad of
my cough."
Idinard's Liniment Relievei 14extralgia.
Force of Habit.
We gazed pityingly on the listless
drug store clerk leaning against the
soda counter.
"Haven't you any ambition?" we
queried, kindly and all that.
"No," he replied, with brightening
intelligence; "but I have something
just as good."
Millard** Liniment Garen Dandrnf'.
ONTARIO
VETERINARY
COLLEGE
Under the coziirol of tine Department of
.Agriculture of Ontario. Established 1862.
Affiliated with the University of Toronto.
110 University Ave„ TORONTO, ONT., CAN.
College Reopens Friday, October lst, 1915.
Write Dept, D. for Calendar. D, A. A. Grange,
V.5., M.S., Principal.
••Overs#ern" V Ba `1"otltz $5 0
50
Motor Boat
Freight Prepaid to any Railway Station in
Ontario. Length 15 Ft., Meant ;8 Ft. 9 In.,
Depth 1 Ft. 6 In. ANY MOTOR FITS.
.13peelfcation No. 2B giving engine prices on request. Get our quotatlons
on.—"The Poneteng Line" Commercial and Pleasure Launches, Rows
boats and Canoes,
THE GIDLEY BOAT CO., LIMITED, PENETANG, CAN.
AN ICE CREAM BRICK
Solves the Difficulty.
C 11TY DAIRY ICE CREAM put up
in attractive < boxes is as pop—
ular
op.ular with the ` guest as it is
convenient for the hostess.
It is the ideal summer dessert.
For sale by discriminating shopkeepers everywhere.
Look
for
the Sign.
T Pili g I T ai,
c ' vtrant ;Agent in every town,'
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