Exeter Advocate, 1901-4-11, Page 7.. ,
TH SUNDAY SCHOOL.
altar. And yet, MY friends, when
E ,E
A
JO,
41eavea bursts 111)01 us, it tvill be a
gl'eaterg suri)rise ian tht ()It,
I '
s .
't t
LYULi'UUIJi.1what a thrilling rapture. Jesus on
,
the throom aod we ;Slade like, him 1
,
All Our Chriatian friendssurrounding
The Rev. 1)r. fr.faI.inHeige Tells of
.,.... . ,ands •
of thousands, the one hundred
cc and gins gmale by forever, The thou-
..
m us, in glory ; all SOrrOW5 and tea,rs
. Greqt Surprise multitudes thee- uo man can number,
arid ,torty , four tboueande the great
, .
will ory world wi Cheat end. "The half,
tlie half trite ,-,,-itold tee."
'A despatch from Washington saYs:
Citev. Dr. Talmage pi:eat:lied from the
following text :—"Behold the half ties
not told me." -1. Kings x. 7.
Solomon liact resolved that Jerusa-
lem ehould be the tentre of n11. sacred,
regal and commereiml magnifieenee.
HO set himself to woris and monopoliz-
ed the Syrian deeert as a highway
for hie caravans. He built the city of
40.1myra around one of ,the principal
wells of the East, so that all the long
trains of mereliandise from the East
,w.cre obliged to stop there, pay toll,
and leave a part of their wealth in
the hands of Solomon's fm.erchants. He
named the fortress 'Ilhapeacus at the
chief ford of the Eephrates, and put
under guard everything that passed
there. The three great producte of
Palestine -wine, pressed from the rich-
. est clusters and celebrated all the
world over, oil, *which in that hot
butter and lard, and toes pressed from
country, was the entire substitute for
the olive branches until every rock in
•the country became an oil well, and
ia honey, which was the entire substn-
Ak tato for sugar.—these three great pro-
.
ancta of the country Soloinon export-
ed
and received in. returMfruits, pre -
clone woods, and the metals and the
animals of every , clime. He went
down to Ezion-geber, ordered a fleet
of ships constructed, oversaw. theworkmen,
workmen, watched the launching of
the flotilla which was to go out on
more. than a year's voyage to bring
the wealth of the then known world.
He beard that the Egyptian horses
were large, and awift, and long -man-
ed and round -limbed, and Ile resolv-
ed to purchase them, giving eighty-
five dollars a piece for tbern, putting
the best of these horses in his own
The Queen of Sheba atight,e. .She 011-
tees the, palace. Sho was.hes at the
bath. She sits doeva at the banquet.
'an cup-bearera bow. The meat%
smoke. The music trentbdes along
the hall anti through the Corridors un-
til it )mingles in the dash all the water
from the Molten seas'. Then he rises
front the banquet and she walks
through tha con,servatories, and she
gazes. on the, architecture, and she
asks Solomon many atrange- questions',
and she learns about the religion Of
the, i-lelaresses, and Glie then end there
becomes a servant of the Lord God.
She:, is overwhelmed. She begins to
think that all the spiece she brought,
and all the falmuts trees which were
intended to c turned into harps and
psalteadee and into railings for the
caugeway bettvean the temple and the
palace, and the one hundred and eigh-
ty -thousand dollars in money, --she
begins to think 1.1aat all these Pres-
ents amount to nothing itt such
place, and ehn 15 almost ashamed that
she has brought them., and she says
within herself. "1 heard a great deal
about this place and about this won-
derful religion of the Inalarettes, but
find it is far beyond my highest anti-
cipations: It exceede everything
that I could have expected, the half,
the hall w'as not told
Learn fir,st from this) S11.1),j3Cf. What
a beautiful thing it is svhen eocial
position and .wealth fiurroncler them-,
selves to God. When religion comes
to a neighborhood, the first who re-
ceive it are
THE WOIVEEN.
Austere men say it is .because they
are weak minded. 1 say it ia because
they have quicker perception of what
is right, more ardent affection, and
capacity for sublimer emotion. After
thenwomen have received the gospel,
then all the distressed and the poor of
both sexes—those who have no friends
—accept Jesus. Last of all come the
people of affluence and high ,social
position. Alas! that it is sol le there.
are. those here to -night who have been
favoured of fortune, or as I might
better put it, favoured of God, sur -
ren ler all you have and all. ex -
( y , you.,
atalts, and selling the surplus to peed. to be, to the Lord who blessed
foreign potentates at a great profit.
this Queen of Sheba. Certainly you
Ile heard that there was the best of are, not ashamed to be round in thia
lumber- on Mount Lebanont, and he
qu€?en's company. I am glad that
sent out, a hundred and eighty thou- Olia-ist hall had his imperial friends
down. in all ages.
sand men to hew the foiest,
drag the lumber through the inoun- I Again, my isubject teacheS mc
rain gorges: construct it into rafts what is earnestness in the search of
to be floated to joppa, and from
truth% Do you. know -where Sheba
thence drawn by ox -teams, twenty- was? It was in. 'Abyssinia, or some
five miles across the land to Jere- say in a the southern part of Arabia
salmi". He heard that there were '
Felix. In either case, it was a great
beautiful flowe-rs in other lands. He way oef from Jerusalem. To get from
sent for them, planted them in his . there to Jerusalem you heat to cross
otv'n gardens, and to this very day, a country infe,sted with bandits', and
there are flowers found 1.11 the, ruins go across blistering deserts. Why did
of that city such as are to be found not the Queen of Sheba stay at Janine,
in no other part of Palestine, the and send a cmittee to in-
- lineal deecendante, of the very flow- quire about thi,s IMW religion, and
era that Solomon planted. He heard have the delegates eepOrt in regard
that in- foreign groves, there were to that religion and the tt-ealth of
birds, of richest. voice and most lux- King Solomon? she wanted to c,e
uriant wing. Ho sent out peoplo to for herself. and bear for herself. She
eaten thena and bring them there,
and he
PUT THEM INTO 1115 CAGES.
Stand back now and. sec this long
train of camels. coming up to the
ising'a gate, and the ox trains from
Suppe, gold anti. silver and precious
could not do thiS work bymommittee.
She felt elle had a soul worth ten
ten thousand kingdoms, like Sheba,
and she wanted a robe richer than
any woven by Oriental shuttles, and
she wanted a crown set with the jew-
els of eternity. Bring out the cam -
atones. and beasts of every hoot, and els. Put ton the spicas. Gather up
bird di every wing and fish of every the. jewels of the throne and put
eeeme see the peacocks strut under them on the earat-an. Start nosy,
the cedars, and, the horsemen run,
and the chariots, wheel. Hark to the
orchestra. Gaze upon the dance. Not
stopping to look into the wonders of
the temple, step right on to the cause-
way and peas up to Solomon's palace.
Here we find, ourselves amid a eollec-
,.
titan of buildings on which the king
had lavished the wealth of many cm- with the tact that religion is a sur-
prise to anybody that getsi it. Tine
pires. The genius of Hiram, the ar-
is story of the netvi religion in alerusvin
chitect, and of the other artists
here seen in the long line of corridors, lom and of the glory of King Solona-
and the suspended gallery, and the en, who was a type of Christ -- that
meeeerien .winee story rolls on and rolls on, and is told
porch and the th
flow opposite traceried svindow• brone... by every traveler cominn back from'
wing of oteery nhip and with every
caravan, and you know a story, en-
larges as it is retold, and by' the time
t.hat story got down. into the south-
branches—ao josephus tells us—tree tarn part of Arabia _Felix and, the
branches sculptured. on the marble so
thin and subtle that even the leaves
seemed to quiver ; a laver capable of
holding five hundred barrels of wa-
ter resting on six hundred brazen ox -
heads which gushed with water and
filled the whole place with coolness
and crystalline brightness and musi-
cal plash. Ten tables chased with
chariot wheel and lion and cherubim.
no time to be lost. Goad on the cam-
els. When I aee that caravan, dust -
covered, weary, and exhausted, trudg-
ing on, up "acros's the ,desert and
among talc (bandits until it reachen
jeruaalera, I Say: "There, there is aaa
earnest seeker alter d the truth."
Again: my subject impresses me
INTERNATIONAL LESSON, APRIL 14.
•
Atmi;Irs 0) 8l'3." `,A). 11.18.
0 en lext, Itev. 1. IS.
PRACTICAL NOTES.
Verse 11. :Marystood svithout at
,
the sepulcher. The tete of the ori-
ginal is imperfect—''Mary was stand-
tog." She remained after the two
.
CARE OF EYES disciples' had gone: She stood tv-eep
Eng, for added to the. lose of her bee'Itt
l'11 -°111d he M°111eut 6" belays -1d and most trusted Friend \Val!)
the Baby's Birth.
Nowhere is the conmarison betsveen fl done that; indigniiY had
ounce or prevention and a pound •of. cure his body. The only al -
more applicable than in the ease of the leviation to her eorrecer was `to be
eyes, for the neglect of seemingly trivial where ehe had last seen him, She
affections, perfectly curable in their be-
e:hinnies, may lend in en incredibly snort st°°P3d down, and looked. Ev'e, rY'e
time to pernianent impairment of vision thing that had to do with her Lord
or even total blindaess. • was dear to her. Perlia.psi she too.
The care of the eyes should begin with could see the linen einthes1 and the
the moment of birth. The new baby's
napkin that was about his head. But
eyed should be the first part to receive
atteetion. TheY should be wiped care- a IvoulaulY timidity kept her from
fully with a piece of absorbent cotton wet, entering alone, The sepulcher Was.
with agivarnmsolution of berie acid or a probably a room hewn out of the side
strength of about 00 grains in four '
have been thus eitrefully washed on the have, been of masonry and architec-
outside, they should be gently ,separated turally beautiful.
athned esyoeisn.e of the solution dropped into 12. Seeth two angels. In our last
lessen we note that, although Mary's
In washing the eyes one should be care. .
name Le gPven ael one of the group
ful never to dip again in the solution la
piece of cotton which has 'once been used. ,tvho earliest visited ' the sepulcher,
A. fresh piece rust be taken each time and who afterward delivered to the"
the r'Yes are IviVal. aPostlea the angels' message, a com-
The baby's eyes inust be protected femo .
eeprusiortaisobniaofththaet fboetfuo•raecciohuentasnmgealksesapit.
thetiaele3gmhst:areitisioetriebmill.ilotsisetd be
eo it)iliaeeefculllIvlbigehret
finial a Ns-M(10w, and the carriage should pea.red she had. haatily concluded that
have a shade raised only about a foot iene Lord's Body had, hetn etolen, tine,
above the baby's head; ' • - she. had hastened for Peter and John;
Children .often suffer from inflammation so that ghe had noheven heard of the
of the edges of the lids, which are red angels, appearance. -white: The
and scaly, and the lashes fall out'ortid livery of God's servants. The one
break off. This may betoken a general at -the head, and, the other at feet,
scrofulous condition, or. it may depend svhere the body of Jesus had lain. On
upon some defect in the sight which the, table or slab where those who
causes eye strain, or it may be only a lo- anointed him had left the. remains.
cal trouble. If it is only a local trouble, -woman, why weepes-t, thou?' If,
o few applications of boric tcid ointment as we auppose, sive had not as, yet
nt bedthne will generally effect a euro. heard any angelic nies,sage, she had
Conjunctivitis, or inflanunation of the. good cauee to weep. flier agony of
membieme covering tho globe of the eye, grief precluded fear. In normal
may be due to a cold, to the action cd conditions such an apparition as this
bright 'sunlight, or reflection from water would have overwhelmed her with
or from snow. or to eye strain from some terror. They hsive taken away nay
visual inaperfecticin. Usually the boric Lord,, and know nat where they
acid solution will give relief here, even .have Mid him. That his body should
when the trouble cannot be permanently be' stolen was neter grief. Her one
cured until proper glasses are worn. groat -desire is to recover that body.
Another painful consequence of eye She has no expectation' of physecal
strain is a succession of sties. When e resu,rrectioin.
child suffers frequently from sties, from .14. She turned herself back. She
sore lids from conjunctivitis, the sight again stood comet; turning away from
should be tested. the dark hole which the angels had
Much lacuna is often done to the eyes, as illumined. Perhaps her terror was:
well as to the genemnl health, by too long 110Wr beginning. Saw Jeaus stand-
aPPileatinn to books, either Scheeler story Lig, and knew- not that it was Jesus.
boons. Three hours of looking at print Saw that a man. was about to address
by daylight and one hour in'the evening her, but was go grief-strieken she
should not be exceeded by any child um cared not and observed not who.
der 14. for that is as anuch'as his eyes, 15. Woman, why wecpest thou?
even if their vision is perfectly normal,
will stand without injury.—Youth's•Com-
panion.
BEATING I-10LES IN SHIRTS.
the Vigorons Way They have ot
Washing Clothes In India.
The following extract is from the letter
of aeyoung medico in India:
"I have just ee-tricated myselt from an
awirwaril fix. The washer people here
take your best shirt to a stream, dip it
in the water and then smack it harden a
botvIder, repeating the process again and
again till a hole is made in the linen.
Then and not before do they regard that
particular article as finished:
"I objected to this and told my washer -
man that I didu't want holes knocked
into my clothes.
"'But, master, lades, then, am I to
know when they are finished?' be asked.
"I couldn't knock any sense into his
bead, so I tried to get somebody else to
do my work. But nobody else woiild cia
it for me. I discovered that a sort of
tribal trades' union exists here. ,Each
kind of work is done by a particular
caste.
"One caste limits itself to boot clean-
ing, and the only scope which another
allows for its,genius is carrying°. If you
badly treat the man who cleans your
boots or. sack him, he.teports- you to his
tribe, and unless you clean your boots
yourself„they will ever remain dirty, for
no,other member of that tribe will clean
thein for you, nor will anybody else, for
the work is not cousistent with the dig-
nity of the carrying, washing or any oth-
er caste. •
"There being no help for it, I had to
go hack to my old washermau, and it
was only by bribes and entreaties that I
could get him to forgive
"Now, I want you to sencl me two doz-
en shirts and let them be of the strongest
(plenty. If he must knock holes in them,
am deterinined -that he ivill have to
work bard. It' is possible that I may
have some further trouble with him, for
if the holes take a long time coining he
may complain that he cannot finis': my
svashing.•
"These ignorant fellows always re-
quire some sign by which their actions
0s...0eof gold, and they put their fruit with it. We bay it is a harbour from the are to be guided.
"When one of Lem is eating, how.do
trimmed their candles with snuffers nacn put on their spectacles to study
krinsea of gold, ,end they washed their storm- We call it our home. We say you think he is to tell when he has had
it is the house of many mansions. We
faces in basins of gold,and they scoop -enough? When he takes no further in -
weave together all stveet, beautiful,
ed out the ashes, with shovels of gold, terest in his food, you might say. But,
anI they stirred the altar fires with delicate, exhilarant words—sve weave no, he might be suffering from indigestion
them into letters mad then eve spell
tongs of gold. Gold reflected in the or some other ailment, he argues, and
wate,r ; gold mashing from the ap,. it out in rose, and lily and amaranth, therefore not be able to judge when he
And yet that place is going to be had eaten the proper quantity.
So he ties, a thread lightly round his
waist when he is at meals and eats till it
brealts!' _
' Joru.salenan The new% 'goes on the
ed adornments bursting into lotus and
lily ,ancl pomegranate ; chapiters But -
rounded by net -work of' leaves, in
which imitation fruits seemed sus-
pended as in hanging skets , tree
Qureen of. Sheba hears it, it must be
A TREMENDOUS STORY.
And yet, this Que-en declares; in re-
gard to it, although elle had heard
so mucia and he her anticipation:I
raised so high, the half, the half was
not told her. So religion Ls always a
surprise to anyone that gets it.
Well, there is moaning a greater sur -
.,000n sat on a throne of ivory. At Prise .to every Christian—a greater
the sitting place of the throne, insi_ siren:wise than anything I have depict-
tation of hands came out to receive the cid. Heaven is an old story. Every-
, king. There were six steps that
mounted to the throne, on each end
of eacta of the steps a brazen lion.
Why, my friends, in that palacte, they
body talks, about it. There is hardly
a hernan in the hymn -book that does
not refer to it. Children read -about
it in their Sabbath' school book. .A.ged
ounces or distilled water. After the lids of a 6°1id-' XISentrance may
parel; gold blazing in the crown; gold
sh gold, gold 1 Of 'course the news 02 a surPrIse to the most intelligent
&he affluence of that place went out Christian Like the Qu.eeri of Sheba
everywhere, by every caravan and report has come to us from' the fan
by the wing of every ship, until soon ,country and many of as have Start -
the streets of Jerusalem are crowded ed. 11 15 0 desert march, but sinc urge
with curiosity sekers. What is that on the can -Leis. What though our feet
tong preeeeston approaching gerusa,- be blistered with the tva.y, we are has -
ern 1 I think from the Pomp of it telling to the Palace. We take all our
there must be , levee and hopes and Christian anabl-
; tiosas as frankincense and myrrh arid
ROYALTY IN TETE TR.A.IN. cassia to, the great king. We must
I emelt the breath of the apieeS which 'not rest. We musk not halt. The
arebrotight as presents, and' I hear night, is coming on and it is not nide
the shout Of drivers, and It see the out here in the desert. Urge on the
dust covered eara,an, showing that camels. I see tile domes against the
they have come from far away, Cry sky, and the ilouses of Imitation, and
the' T1CWS, op to, thq palace. The Queen tbs teneles and ilic gal' dallS, See the
of Shebti advances.. Itet all tho pedple fountains dance in the sari, and tlie
come out to nee. 'Lt the mighty gateS flash as they open to let in the
'nen of tile and (Mine out on, the poor pilgrims. Send the word up to
palace corridors., Let Solomon the palace that we are earning and
himeeef coma do,Wo ibo Lairs of the that Ave arc sveary of the rxiatich of
e,alene 'before the Queen llas alight- the deert. The king will t orne out
ed. Shake out the cinnamon and the and. say, " Welcome to the palace ; Doctor---Wity have you deducted a
saffron, and the calanitne and the bathe in these fountains ; recline on quarter from nay bill
frankincense, and pass it into the' these baks. Take thiS rinnanaon and Patient --That is for ilia six cigars
, treasure-bouse.. , Take U1) the. ,clias frankineense and myrrh and put It. you darolle when you thumped my
• own Imre. ' cheat. ;
Two Drin'izti For (t
a uarter.
A young man about town who thought
Pc had seen the limit in strange happen -
ins ran up against a IleNV one the other
night. He had drifted into a hotel hat
fora drink, and while standing at the
bar an elcleely man, very nicely dressed
and with every indication of prosperity,
if not wealth, came in and ordered 3
thirds of 15 cent whisky, inquiring at th(
satne titue 12 that, brand were not sold at
the rate of two drinks for a quarter.
Upon receiving a reply in the affirinative
the old chap proclueeil a flask, laid dotyn
a quarter and asked the bartender to
put the other drink in the bottle to take
away with him, The bartender, dazed,
(lid so svithout a word, rind the incident
was closed --
whom seelseth thou? Jesus repeats
the question of the angels. "These
are the first of the recorded svorda
wh6eili. Jesus speke after his resur-
rection, and we minty well interpret
them to mean something more than
the .senae whieh they immediately
convey to Mary. Henceforth let no
believing soul sorrow for the dead, as
others which have no haps; for, aS
their Saviour who died is risen again,
even iso them also whech sleep in
Jesus; trill God bring with him."—
Churton. Supposing him. to he the
gardener. .Fur -Who else would be
at that honk in that suburban gar-
den? Sir, if thou have borne him
hence. ' These are words of timid hope
rather than of despair. If it iS the
gardener who has moved the remains,
then it waia at least a friendly, re-
moval. Tell me whese thou hest laid
him, and I will take him away. Her
sympathy outruns her sense. No
woman could carry a dead man away.
But she hae a half fear that his poor
body is in anamebody's way, and there
is not the elightest remaindrer of his
life, tbut would not be a treasure to
heir. Love counts rio costs.
10. Jesus Isaith unto her, Mary. And
enamediately she recognizes him. Of-
ten ears- are more alert than eyes;
the presence of a loved one Is made
manifest by a slight rustle or foot-
step or even breathing, where ‘the
appro.:1.th was unrecognized by ,sight.
Saith unto him, Rabbni. The Revis-
ed Version, says, ,"Saith ,unto hi ni in
'Hebrew, Rabboni," that es, in the
Arairmic dialect of Ifebresv which was
spoken ill Galilee. Which is to shy,
Master. And therefore presumes a
return to the condition of the old life
—a mistaken presumption, as our
Lord presently .shows her.'
17. tl'uca not. Cling not to me.
This command by- iliself is not hard
to explain, but our Lord's explanation
of it es not without difficulty. I am
not yet ascended to my Father. Re-
vised Verin, "the Father," a change
tithieh emphasizes the beauty of the
Eeintersce. Our Lord's meaning in
brief "Old condition,s have passed
away. You are moil to look backward
oiscir my life nor forsvard to its contin-
uance on earth, but rather upward
to my' life isa heayen." Before our
Lord's demth the .center of the dis-
ciples' hope and expectation was an
earthly coronation at Jerusalem, th,e
reign of Jesus as king of Israel ; after
the resurrection the center of their
hope and pride would naturally be
this miracle itself a triumph more
tvonderful than any earthly honour,
But Jesus intimates that the true cen-
ter of their hope is to he loftide even
than the resurrection. Itk is to be the
throne of God, to wheel he is to as-
cnd. Moved by amazement and de-
light and full of adoration, Mary re-
vexeritly attempts to embrace our
Lard, perhaps flings herself at his
feet and clasps his knees ; but "in -
tad of clinging to him now as If
all were secure, shc bold to' hasten
to the disciplese and announce that he
is about to aseenal."---Dwight. I as-
cend unto my Father, and your Fath -
r. Ill's fatherhood relates to all hat.
nanity. The intimation is that the
resurrection is really the beginning
of the Aseension.
INSURANCE FOR DRUGGISTS.
Protected From Bittei,akkaill and Mis-
taes Itt Mixing' Drugs.
One of the latest things the fidelity
and casualty line is to ith$117:0 druggists
against wlaat is called the wrong pre-
cription man. For $15 or $25 a year
several companies down town guaran-
tee druggists against damage's arising
from mistakes in compotiodlitg drugs.
()ne, of the most successful pf these
compaines has '650 cbemists of New
York, Jersey City, Netvark ami New
Efa.ven on its list of subscribers,
The idea of . inSuring druggists
against loss from their own mistakes
origina_ted in the belief of a number
of leading pharmacists that they were
the victims of a gang of rogues who
made a practice' of pretending that
wrong medicines had been given to
some member of their, families, some-
times with serious results., The gang
was, partly broken -up by the fidelity
company which first assumed time re,
sponsibility of protecting druggists at
$5 a yenr each. Au officer of tills com
pany says that there are fully 1,000
inistakes a year in the compounding of
drugs.
"While there are so many genuine
mistakes," he continued, "thee are
many alleged ,errors in mixing medi-
,
eines, aild some of the complaints etre
invented for the sole purpose of ex
torting money from the retail drug-
gists. Our company guarantees to pro-
tect druggists against themselves, but
our main desire is to prevent fraud on
the part of those who want to black-
mail ono of our clients forsonaething
hp 11118not done. "'
"It is a serions matter to make a
naistalte in DILX1117, drus, but it is fre-
quently es -n more serloits fo the drug.
gist tohave it noised ahoitt that such
-a mistake Was made. I have known
chenalits to be forced out Of business
sby the publicity given to the fact that
they made a, blunder. Dishonest per-
sons have recognized the fear. that
druggists- have of an exposure of this
kind and have taken advantage of the
knowleage.
"Since we- undertook to protect them
a number of druggists have confessed
to paying big sums to persons who said
mistakes were made. I have the names
of half a dozen so called doctors who
Parc aided an east side gangthat Was
eugaged in the business of bleeding
chemists.
STRICTLY 13USINESS.
11 is not an indication that man has
music in his aotil becatise. Ile blows his
mosida until theyhe .s
glitter in ttin. upon a censer and swing it befote tbe
"Still, there is nothing really renaark.
able in this protection of druggists.
For instance, we have a special insur-
ance for saloon keepers, guaranteeing
there against financial loss through be-
ing locnecinap for violation of the ex-
cise law. —Neor York Sun.
EXPENSIVE LAUGHTER.
ti Cot the Protnoter TrItiste *
Good Sized Fortune.
"On, yes I used to apPreciate. the
humor of the situation "when a pedes-
trian fell down on an icy comer," said
the promoter of trusts, with a weary
smilee "but that was years ago, before
I had come to realize that humor and
business didnt mix very well. I was
making svay along an icy street
In .Boston one day when a very stiff
and dignified man just almad of me
suddenly came down with a crash. IIIS
heels flew up, Ids hat. flew off, and be
had such a look of surprise in his eyes
that I leaned up against a lamppost
and laughed till I cried. When the
victim finally picked himself up and
found that all his teeth were yet in
their soclrets, he Stood before me and
aid:
"Sir, you seem to be anaused
about something.'
'Yes, I am,' I said.
"'Is it about my fall?
"'YeS. You were going along', yeti
know, amtl all at once—ha, ha, ha!'
"'And all at once what happened?'
"'Why, you slipped and clawed and
yelled out, and thenyour toes shot up,
and you played circus, and—ha, ha,
hal'
"'Sir,' said he as he turned away,
'it may have been very funny, but we
shall meet again and see about it.'
"Three years later, when I had the
biggest kind of a deal on hand and
needed only one more factory to coin.,
plete it, I called at the proprietor's
°dice to put on the finishing touches.
He was a stranger to me,, but I had
only begun my story when he held up
his hand and said:
'That will do. You were going
along, you know, and all at once—ha,
ha, ha!" •
"'1 don't understand, sir.'
"'Why, you' slipped and clawed and'
yelled, and your toes sbot up, and you
,played circus, and--lia, ha!'
"That was enough," continued the
promoter, remembered him, and I
also realized that he would never for-,
give me. I took up my hat and walked
out, and when I had figured up I
found that my laughter had cost me
about $40,000." M. QUAD.
A Ilasim or Settlement.
"Did Morgan give you the lie?" •
"Yes, and his second has just been
trying to adjust anatteespeaceably."
"Showing the white/ feather, eh?
What did he propose?"
"That Morgan should withdraw the
epithet if I would admit the fact."—
Leslie's Weekly.
I,nottce, coruplained Mrs. Henpeck,
singular Plurals.
flaying settled the plural of rhinoceros
as rhinoceroses, we are plied for further
information' as , to the plural of ether
recondite nouns. "Albatross," for exam-
ple. So solitary a bird scarcely needs an
anssver. The plural of "blouse" can
scarcely be passed as "blice," though the
analogy of the mouse is in its favor. And
what of the tailor's "goose," which both-
ers one of our correspondents? We can
only suggest the expedient of the tailor
who was ordering a couple of these in-
struments from the manufacturer.
"Please send me," he wrote, "two
tailor's"— Then came the difficulty—
"geese" or "g,00ses?" He tried back.
"Please send nae a tailor's goose." Then,
as an afterthought, in a postscript he
wrote. "Please send two.".
Ancient Hitory.
"Then you think it probable, professor,
that the sudden blazing up of a star like
the new one that has just appeared in the
constellation of Perseus may mean tliat
some distant suu or perhaps an entire so-
lar system has been consumed by fire?"
"Yes. At least 11 15 possible."
"And that may mean the destruction of
countless millions of hinnan beings! How
heartbreaking, to think of!"
115
, 4,1
541
eiinaiee
"Yes, missnbut it is also highly proba-
ble that your sympathy comes a million
or more years after the catastrophe: I
wouldn't feel too had about it." -e,
Does This ExpIatxt
"Another theatrical company has
been quarantined. There seenas to be
something contagious about these traV
eling aggregations."
"Say, perhaps it's the 'catchy' songs
"tbat you never call me 'dear' any
more."
7 a
No, confessed Mr. Henpeck; "I
couldn't consistently."
"Indeed! And why not?"
"Well, talk is cheap, you. know."—
Catholic Standard and Times.
Unparonable.
Mrs. Ondego (making a call)—I nin
sorry to bear you are having trouble
with your cook.
Mrs. Upjohn—Yes, I shall have to let
Serena go. I didn't mind her practic-
ing on the piano now and- then, but she
wants to join our golf club! --Chicago
Tribune.
Gave Him Awns..
They had been at the masqueradm
where she had recognized him at once.
"Was it the loud beating of my heart
my darling, tbat told you I was here?'
murmured he.
"Oh, no," she replied. "I recognized
you by the size of your feet."—Town
Tonics.
Well Meaning, Hut—
Landlady—Beg' pardon, sir, but did I
understand as you were a doctor of mu -n
sic?
Itfusician—I am, ma'am. Why?
Landlady --Well, sir, iny Billy 'aye just
been and broke 'is concertina, and
thought as 'ow I stand be glad to put a
hodd job in yer way—
His Only Obiection.
Mrs. Bricabrac—And what is your.ohai
jection, Edward, to buying a piano for.
Muriel?
13ricabrac—I'm .afraid she might want'
to play it,
A Common Form of indigestion
Which cannot be cured lc.y ordinary stomach
irinedicines—The kidneys, liver and bowels be.
come deranged—Dr. Chase's Kidney -Liver Pflls,
By far the most important part of
digestion takes place in the intestine,
as hag boon repeatedly Shawn in caseS
where the etoMach has been removed
and the patient has lived and digest-
vvi
ed food thout the aid of the
stomach. -
It frequently happens that people
who continually dose the stomach
for indige.istion and ale pepsin and
various kind l of digestives tablets
and posvders can obtain no relief frOm
uch treatment, laccauSe the real
trouble is in the intestines, the liver
Rind the kidneys. '
There is fulluesS and pains' after
meats, coated tongne, headache lees
sf appetite, pains in the limb; and
10 the, back and shoulderl, flatulency
knd comet:pation,. frequently alter-
nating with diarrhoea.
In catses of intestinal iudigestion the
liver and kidneys ueually become clog-
ged and sluggish in action, and pois-
onous impuritisel are lef.t in the blood,
which should be removed by theae
filtering organs.
Mr. Joseph Blackwell, „Hawesville,
Ont., says; "I derived more b,enefit
from the use of Dr. Chasm's Kidney
Liver Pills than from any other me-
dicine I eVor took, and can highly
recommend them for stomach trou,
bles. I was in a terrible state and
could hardly work at ray I,ra&,. I tried
most every Pzincll of medicine and doc-
tors, until I was tired of doctoring,
trod before I used one box of I) '
Chase's Kidney -Liver pills, I could see
that they lwete helping me, and af-
ter taking a box and a half, found
that I was cured."
,Thre has yet to* be a remedy dis-
covered that is so prompt and thr-
ough in .i.tring intestinal indigestion
as Dr. Chase's Kidney -Liver Pills. Atari
as this is this most common and sev-
ere, form of indigestion, it can well he
claimed that Dr. Chase's Kidney -Liver
Pi,115 are the moet auc,cessful treat-
ment extant or indigestion and clys-,
pepsin.
It iii not unusua:t for pereens who
have long 'Veen suffering frotn chron-
ic iridigestion, biliousness and con-
stipation to be thoroughly cured by
Dr. Chase's Kidney -Liver Pills ,which
lainve by far the largest sale of any
similar remedy. You may be else,ps
tical, es others have laeen before you,
but a 'single trial of bit Chase's Kid -
nay -Liver Pills will oonvince you of
their unusual medicinal value. One pill
a doe, 25 cents a box, at all dealerni
or Edmansion, Ra tea neiu, Torontoi
.
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