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Exeter Advocate, 1901-2-14, Page 6CHANeELESS PLAYS. I've wandered to the. theater, eve been to see the same; 'Ye listeued to tbe tiaMe old jokes we heard long Fears ago The villain died the same old way --his death, was bard ',la slow. -- The test eet Eaw Ilie /141$11, TOM, lik0 twenty years ,ttgo! The esteem, she suffered, Tom; you should have heard her weep; nee heir was goleea in its hue, for•peroeido Is . steep. She found the tossing will, though, Tom; she al- ways (14.1, you know, ' When wo went to the derseer some twenty years ago. The joicee, were jest i,f'R Same one, Tom, about the ma -in-law, Likewir the g.oar, the stovepipe and the female suffrage 1;INV, And,' yes„ they sprung, the one about the good old baldhead row; ' it sounded as 11 USK" to, Tom, eorae twenty years rile hero 5trlItS abQllt the stage and hoarsely wit's- ' pers, "Ab, see it RIP." And then the crafty villain muttere The play is just the same, dear Tom; the plot is thickened so, It looks the same as when we went some twenty years ago. Tho soubrette is the same, old boy; she has the kfillle old wink. Fir, cheeks are just as radiant; they leve the same soft pink_ She's billed as Little Tattle now, and, say, die doesn't show Her age as much as when she played some twent years ago. The songs are full of "mother, dears," the star takes all the stage, The jokes and other dialogue show very little age, But youngest of the lot, dear Tom, the soubrette's cheeks still glow ' As pinldy as they used to do some twr,ty years —Josh Wink in Baltimore American. 0innciF 5 Deafinos 4 or Duowu's Bou 5 ass .Tried Hard to Rinke 117E:meY, but 0 Always Tailed. 0 nee Q. -ed. -a dee cheod.o.s.o.e.o.eoe.o Dugway was out, hut was e.xpected - back shortly, and Vance nnelertook to entertain the visitor. He was in a con- fidential mood. "I've been t.ryin to make some money again," be said. "So?' said the visitor. "But thate nothing new, is it?" "Well. I don't lenow," replied the boy, curling himself comfortably among the l'IriOWS On the lounge, "Is'pose 1 ti•y often enough, but it looks lite I ain't a money maker. Pa says I am cut out for a eonfidence man. but 1 don't seem to get the hest of him ever. Say, do you keep books, an do you know when you have too much money?" "I never found out that I had too much." "Well, pa has, an it melees him feel bad, When I go down to the office I see all kinds of money around--dol- kers an half dollars an quarters till you can't rest, an nobody seems to pay any attention to it. particular. - 1 ast pa about it, an he said that he knew to a cent. how tnech they was because lie kept hooks ten made them balance every night. ( was wond.erin whether he'd Lwow the difference if I took a little of it, just what needed. I don't like to ast pa for money." "Why?" Vance wriggled a little and bit his handkerchief. "!Well," he said at last, "Ib e always wilits t o rnow w at 1 want to do with it." "impertinent curiosit P,Th d 't you ,at tO mate you a fixed alto y. y on uu w- ance-so much a week?" "I did try. I wanted him to give me O nickel a day. I don't svant a whole lot of money, but I like to have some. Ted Cunningham ain-ays Las money, an when be wants me to pitch to a crack or enything have to own up that I'm broke." "Puts you in an embarrassing situ -1 a tion." "1 tbought 1 would see whether pa could tell about his _ n , , Mr,. Tones was gone to lunch an pa was in the hack room I put the 50 cents that you gave me that day in with the other 50 cents in the tray. I didn't lite to take any out, because I didn't lideow but it might be so. Then ma an tne went home, but we had to wait din- ner for pa that night, an then he didn't come for over so long after we teets through. hia ast him what made him so late, an he said that, he bad been he tie di • • civet a the ofPce because Mr. Tones an him coulan't make the cash balance.' There was 50 cents over, He looked a.wfill mad about it. an me cliche't say -any- thing more about him beln too late for dinner, an didri't like to, say about tam havin put the 50 cents in, because I thought he wouldn't like it. I thought the best thing I could de was to tell ma. so I told her, an she said that 1 had better go to pan tell him I was sorry an how it happeeed. I didn't do it, but I guess she did, because pa threw down my 50 cents at the breakfast table in the mornin an told nie never to let hip.] catch me at any such monkey tricks as that again or he'd make nee need skin'graftin. He said that be worked four home on account of • what I'd done, an it worildn't have been so bad If there had beeti 50 cents too little. J east him why, an he said that then he could have called it a mistake an paid the•50 eents out of his own pocket. I don't see why hes couldn't have givep the 50 cellos away to somebody an seld it was 0 mistake, do you?" "It looks to me like false logic," seed the visitor. "Did you make up yonr Mind to flx 10 for a shortege next time?' "I don't know what yon neenn, I ilide't do anyibitag, d told mri want - e(1 to make remit, M011ely, an 91)C told taie to think up eotne way an she would help me If she could, and so 1 thoUght inight raise some ehickens, so I went de , ast her what site t' eel! nee a dozen chit:kens for; She. said that depeuded on wbat wanted, whetnei: it was Plymeath Itecks or Brown Leghorns or banties or what. So I said Plymouth Rocks, an ,she told me she would let me have a dozen a them for fii'25- "I knew that I couldn't get that much mieney, an I thought I might just OS well buy eggs an set them under a common hen." "That was a bright idea." "Yes; Mrs, alcOlellan told me it would be the best thing I coulcl do, an then I could raise a dozen chickens an sell them for $25 myself. are. gave me the dollar to buy the eggs an leaped me a ben what wattled to set. It takes is hen a awful long time to hatch chick- ens, though. I used to go • out most every Mornin an raise her up to see if she had got any, aa she squawked an pecked at my band. Gee! But it was about three weeks before I got any chickens, anAlien there was only three of 'cue. That old hen wouldn't wait for the ()neve to hatch, an when I broke 'ern opeu to see if there was any chick- ene inside of 'em I wisht I had let 'em alone. I guess that old hen knew all right." , "What was the trouble?" Vance held his snub nose expreasive- ly between his thennb and foreanger. "I was slidin down the tetchen roof," Pc continued, "an I knocked a board down, an it fell on one of the chickens an squashed it dead, an the o • two was both' roosters. I wanted some money one time an 'sold one of 'em to the lady next door for a .quarter. Th .• 11 b '1 el • f • 't T told her it was a brooded Plymouth Rock, but she , said she didn't mind that, just So long as it ,would wake. a good fry. I kept the other one all sum- mer an then took it to Mrs. ailcClellan - an ast her what she'd give me for it. "She said that she'd trade me a pair of rabbits for it an I could make more money raisin rabbit; then I conld rais- in chickeus an the rabbits. was; worth $1 a pair. So I took the rabbits. One E,NlilIPACTOlt,BOWSE R THE. OLD MAN POSES AS A PRESERVaR OP INTEGFIllet Sought to Assist KU thltifOrtiallAte :10 low Mortal, but Wau Soon Con- vdneed That Me Had Made a talze In the Object of Him PhIlan- thropy. [Copyrigek, 1900, by O. 13, Lewis.] It was a quiet eyeniug the Bowser sitting room, with the lamily eat pur. ring in three languages and Mr. Bow- ser lingering over the end of his cigar end reading the paper, when there came a ring at the bell. Mr. Bowser answered it in person, as he was ex- pecting a ueighbor to cad, and Os Pe opened the door be found a rather seedy, middle aged man waiting to say to bine; "My dear SIP; I want moment's conversation' with you ou a strictly business affair." ' • He was.admitted in a grudging way, • and, bringing a rueful smile to histace and speaking in confidential tones, he , continued: "After 15 years of hard work I have made a failure in business. I (bald swindle my creditors or go into bank- euptcy, but my conscieuce notper- mit me. I wish to pay dollar for dol- .. lar. To do so I must eacritice every- thing, even to my wife's jewels. Here is a diamond ring which I wish to get rid of and turn the mouey over to a heartless creditor who would even de - prive my children of breacl. Will you name a price for it?" "If it's a straight business failure, you are not requived to sell the shirt off your back," replied Mr. Bowser. • "But it's a matter of ciebscience, yeti • SCO. I said I'd pay a hundred cents on Iwatch. He meant to get rid of the maa at once, but Mrs. Boweer's inter- ferenee aettled him and changed his plans, Turning to the man, he said: "The watch is well worth $50,,and I „mold be glad to give you that etun to neap you settle with pear creditors, but I have only $15 ia my pocket." "Then I'll take that," sighed the bust - 'less failure, with a quaver in his yoice. "I want to settle a claim at once-to- aight-and know that I Shall have at leitet cold potatoes for brealtifaSt. It grieves me -but -take it along." :.iIrs. BOWSer called again, but Mr. Bowser passed -oyer the money, patted • the man of. integrity on the shoulder •• ;DANDELIONS. Oh, mut, wild prophets, what of life know ye, Of eager breath'? Mtll 4$ I Pray, ye molt your living gold And, gray and hopeless on the morning breeze, Drop into death. Oh, wayworn brethren, what of earth know ye, What end df strife? Loi as I grieve,, ye bound from °Wallet sleet), Breaking the flrinainent of the somber glebe With beaming lifel Gerry n Lippincott • and eloscicl the door after lam. Then he returned • to the. sitting room, placed ‘yatch :tad ring on the mantel and sat dowu without a word. A.fter a quarter of an hour of silence Mrs. Bowser went up"etaii•s to keep clear of. any further sow, and the. expected neighbor came in. br course he was told of the hon- est businese neap and shown the watch and ring. He began to grin as soon as they were placecletu his ha:ads, and pretty soon he said: . • "Look ; here, Bowser; you've been played for a sucker?' ' "It can't be!" "Bat it can and is. Tlioseellamouds are nothing but glass, and that ring Isn't worth $3. Was airs. Bowser here when you bought it?", . "What if. she wrts or wasn't?" r.,he'cl hare detected the fraud at once. The g;tme that fellow worked on You is as. oicl as the bills. What. on; earth made you bite?" , "I --I wanted to help an honest man. A.s for the watch"- ' dela , ha!" • "What in thunder do you mean?" de - (minded Ali% Bowser as his face ke.pt growing paler. "I'm laughing at the ?heel; of the of them was named Dick an the other Lizzie. I used to like Dick the best. Ma wouldn't let me keep them up in . my room, so I had to build a place for them mit in the wood shed an keep them there, except when 1 torned them looee. They was awful cute. Lizzie used to eat doegh out of my hand. She liked dough better thee anything.", "Haven't you got them still?" "No. I gave them away. I got kinder tired of teudin 'ena, an they didn't have any little rabbits at all. 1 couldn't SCO bow 1 was goin to make any mon- ey out of 'ern, an when I said anything about it pa he'd laugh. "I ast Airs. 111cOleflan about it, an she •said that hers lead bad two or three litters since she sold me mine, an she couldn't see how it was. Pa said they dicln't have lucky names. at least Lizzie didn't. Lae said site ought to Parc been named Willie or Pete." "Then the rabbit business wasn't a success?" "N'hub. I lost all I put into it ex- eeptin the quarter I got from the lady ; next door for the little rooster." "How about your mother?" "OM she was only backin me. She knew she was takin chances. I wishr r had that dollar back, though. I need o dollar the crorst way. Don't you know a good, easy way for a boy to get a dollar? 1 tiOn't want to bare to wait for it too long. I'd ast pa to give me one, only I ast him for one yesterclay, an he wouldn't give it to me. I ain't goin to est him again." -Chicago Ree - A Olt of 1EToyt'u Wit. In Lis palmy, healthful days almnst every act of Hoyt was an ateeedote, and there were very ,nary of .lais acts. One that will appeal particularly, to theatrical people is told by an actor as - follows: "Hoyt made many friends, and some of them were real fast friends. Two of the fastest in both the affectionate and convivial sense he took with him in the production of one of his successful comedies in connection with the busi- ness management of the piece. Now, it is true of' all theatrical management that there is always 'rivalry between the man ahead bf' the showtedind the b .k with' 'c will be -the whole thing. After these two men had been on the voted with the company for severe! weeks'. a strong rivalry grew up, and the roan ahead of the show billed himself on the prog,rammes 'as manager and the other as as,ent. Of course the reduced gentlemen 'kicked,' and to settle the dispote the man • who was the whole 1 thing wired Hoyt in some anger, want to know how I shall bill -- on the house progeammes.' Quiet as, a , flash the answer came from Hoyt, 'Bill him as excess baggage --Hoyt ' "-Ran- 'sas City Star. Two denatttntiens. The Prince of Wales, even from his early years, was tlibroughly---"dosed" in English constitutional history, says a,tondon correspondent. When quite a boy, he was daily "ground" in this bre net) of education and conseque,ntly grew to dislike it most cordially, The prince, tractable as he always was, once openly rebelled at this constant "grinding' and said to his tutor: "I hate this study, sir! It is so deyPa. "Oh," replied the' tutor. somewhat , ehocked, "but it is most linpera.tive that on shoield 1.1" 11 about 1 constitution of the couutry• you will one day Imre to rule and govern, most imperative." , "Yes sir" smartly replied the prince, "the English constitution is important, I know, But what, about my consti- 1,ution?" Warning to Other "iamb. Young Men. "He told her Le woield give all he had In the world to unite° her happy," said Miss Cayenne. "Anti what did she do?" "Slie married him and held him etrietly to his promise."-WaShingtora State HELPED OUT BY MR. BOWSER. tne dollar, and I'll do it if I have to go barefoot. Will -you -show that ring to your wife?" Mr. Bowser had been gum gamed two or three times and was rather sus. • picious, but he took the ring and walk, d b 1- t t ' • . Bowser as she looked at it. "It's prob. ably some snide affair, and the -man is no doubt a fraud wbo thinks to take advantage of your innocence." "Do you inean.that the man takes me for a fool on sight?" exclaimed Mr. Bowser as he flashed up., . "He may not, but I think he's lookt !Pg for a soft snap." "Oh, you do? That's you to a dot. Always suspicious and distrustful and always bard hearted. I shall buy the ring." Mr. Bowser went back to the rua,n and found aim yeey reasonable. All Pc wanted for his wife's birthday ring was $40, and that was only one-third of its cost. It grieved him to part with it, but what was grief compared to integ- rity of character? As the tears began to appear Mr. Bowser sent him off with 540 ifi his pocket -and returned to Don't buy It at any price," said Mrs. Mrs. Bowser to say: "How you can steel your heart against the cries of humanity the way you do is a wonder -to me. You'd doubt - have turned that poor man away with stab in the back." "And saved $40," she curtly replied. "Do you wean that this ring isn't worth fully $100?" he blustered. "I don't believe it's worth $5." "Woman do you take me for a fool?' shouted Mr. Bowser, with furious ges- tures as he danced around and fright- ened the cat under the piano. "I think I know a man of integrity when I see one. I also think •I know a diamond ring, from a side of sole leather. By .ttie. living jingo, if I had your 'cou. temptible spirit I'd go hang tnyeelf I" Ole walked about for a l'ew minutes, breathing bard and perspiring under the collar, and nothing further was said on the salbject. The cat gradually recovered her courage, the' fire blazed cheerfully, and pence lead returned to hover over all when the bell !ling again, Again Mr. Bowser went to the door. It was the Irian of Integrity re- turned. "Pray, excuse me," he said ftS he crowded leis way into the hall, "but you were So kind to me about the ring have reterned • to show you this watch, I had thought to keep it froni my eroditors, but conscience stings me. It is a watch that cost tele $50, but un- der tbo elveurnstateces"-- "Mr. Bowser, will you step here a 111011301A?" interrupted Mrs. Boweer, He Lad no Intention of buying Oats man to come, macs ana swinaie you ; second time. Say, now, but you an dela easy. This watch never cosalairt over $3. Bowser, old man, you've beet la.mbasted foe $55 with your eyes wddt •open! You'd better let Mrs. Bowsei deal with suel chaps after this." "But what does she know of such folks?" protested.alr. Bowser. "A heap more than you do, I should say, if you are so easily taken in. Well, well, I wouldn't have believed it!" As the situation was soraewhat em- barrassing, the neighbor didn't stay long, and when he had taken his depar- ture Mr. Bowser sat down to chew the bitter end. He had been chewing for about 20 minutes and wondering how Pc could get even with Mrs. Bowser When the bell rang, and he made his way to the door and opened it to find that same business failure on the step again. "You will excuse me, I know," said the men, "but I have a diamond pin I didn't show you. It is a pin my wife gave me on my fortieth birthday, when everything was going well with us. As it is vvortb $150, I thought I Could eas- ily get rid of it among your neighbors for 530 or $40, but I find that I can't. Your exceeding kindness to me and your desire to help rae maintain DIY standard of integrity lead me to hope" - "Come in," interrapted Mr. Bowser. The man entered the hall and opened a pasteboard box to reveal a, diamoudi pin reposing on a nest of red cotton. "You -you have a diamond pin to sell rne?" said Mr. Bowser in a strange, hard voice. "Yes; I thought to keep It from my creditors, but my conscience won't let me. It is worth $150; but, owing to circuinstances"..-,- , Then arr. Bowser junmed an Wilco ; 'The Man Of integrltY was taken by su_r- , prise and rolled on the floor, but he soon recovered, and there was Ef-serap tliat upset the ball tree, tickled the cat half to death and made the dust fly. It lasted for five minutes, and then Mr. Bowser got the door open and "lifted" ; the man of' integrity out into the cold flfqi cruel world and turned to find Mrs. Bowser 00 the stairs. "Well," she queried OS he glared at her and puffed like an old engine set going for the fall and winter trade, "Parc you gone out of the jewelrY busl- • He slowly extended bis arm and shook his finger at t.er and tried to an- SWer back. but his Rrnotionq were too great. "If you have." she confirmed as she turned and began to ascend, "you'd better Idol; ule end come to bed and let se rub you clown with witch hazel." M. QATAD, THE OUTWITTING- OF ,SORROWFUL Allyn rode aerc>ss the prairie joyous- ly and looked longingly toward the east, where the sun was scarce an hour high. 'The fresh, bracing air seenied to permeate every fiber of hie being, and Pc drew hi great breaths of it, feeling a wild sort of pleasure in the mere fact of beipg alive. For once in three' years he was hate py, and Pc had been in that beatific state for two whole days. The reet of the cowboys of the mita did not know what to make of it. Cayuse Ike swore Pc had been "locoed," ,for Allyn had been niaknamed by the camp Sorrow- . ful Jim, and to. see Min boyishly exu- berant and In a gay humor With an Un- heard, of thing until the last day Or SO Allyn had once made the inistake of. consideriro. life a very serious matt • indeed, ancl then, after trelag for year to- practiee law and 'sot getting any one to practice upon he had given it up in disgust and migrated to th laome of opporttmity _in hope of gettin rich. ' During his idle hours Allyn had fat en in love, and he took that very eer ously also. It went bard with 'dine, to Pc bad nothing on earth except a fe leotida an old aunt bad left hirn.an the revenue fienn them did not anfoun to $300 a year. At the rate his prac tice wae not increasing eiethnsela would leifYe been a youngster compare with Allyn If be waited for the revenu from his profession to enable hind t my property. So, in order to get V011, „V flave given away toy fortune "You have cot Me nearly $100,009, so I'm of the opinion that you had bettea collie on and deliver youreelf up as it victim, I don't Propose to tell you an- other thing about it, as you have nee right to lenoty aow. After -after --oh, Well, some time 1. will tell you what I did with the rest of the mciney, but just now it is no affair of yours. You will sinaply have to take my word for it Come on, Jim. 1 am anxious to see So it was that Jim was so happy. He had Only two more days to welt; then he would get him month's evokes, He clad $400 saved up, and he reflected that he and NeIly would treaeage get along nicely on tbat for awhile, llis pride was riding rampant, also. an.c1 hie conscience was very self satis. fled; indeed, for bad he not held out against the allurements of beauty, wealth, position,. ease -everything? I( was a victory well worth rejoicing over. 111 The ceremony was over, the few hitt mate friends had taken their departure 'and Jim aucl Nell looked at each othei In D. bewildered sort of way.„ "I think we ought to taken trip, Jiro, Pin so deadly tired of this place. I don't know what to do. Let's go to Europe. I've always wanted to go there." "Nelly, are you daft? I can't afford . a trip •to Europe, and yciu know it, a And you haven't uny money either, so how are vre co go?" "I think it le very unkind of a person e of your wealth to be tanntingene with g my poverty. For a man as rich as you, I think you are undoubtedly 'close.'" Her eyes twinkled merrily j. "I want to got to Europe, and now, ✓ got you;to go with me you ought -ce to be glad of the opportunity." a "Nell, dear, if I could afford it you know I would be delighted to take . h "Well, ycni can afford it." tkenllowbatter-you Ycnl eIeearitny°otu." can. Why, Just o look at these," and she handed him a bundle of boots and papers. He picked , up the first one and read `the Inside page: "Ellen National Bank, in ac- _ I count with James M. Allyn. DePosited n I May 1, $35,000; May 9, $12,000; May $12,000. "What does this mean, Nell?" he a asked' wonderingly as he looted at • another book and rt..ad: "Received Ma•y, t 9, bonds, mortgages, stocks and securi- ties duly transferred and assigned to ; James M. Allyn, and aggre,geting $130,- 000, and more particularly descit•ibed as follows: The Truet and Safe De- t Posit company." Nell was hugely en- joying the situation. She sea.ted her- self on the arm of' the chair and said: "You dear old stupid, mulish, stub- born thing, I told you the truth for ' gave everything I owed to you before I wrote that letter. 'I told the truth, for I reserved just enough to bring me in $300 a year." 1 "Well, I'll be"- 'She kissed him and stopped the word. • "Are you going to Europe?" she ask. ed. "Yes. I thinir I wbuld enjoy the trip tnyself, but don't you think you paid , too much for me?" ' I "Oh, I don't know. Not as long '‘ad yon are nice as you are 110W. Come on. Let's get ready and catch the steamer leaving tomorrow evening.". St. Louis Star. "Jim," she said "you are acting very foolishly. What does it matter if ,vot • lia-ven't any money? I don't wattt neon ey, I've got enough, or will have evlie ' I am 24, when I get control of it. ThEt would keep es •very nicely and would hold lei up until you could establish payieg praetice. Now don't be silly." "Nelly," he said solemnly. "I canno afford to marry now. People would soy that I married you for you money and I don't intend to put myself in O position whore such a motive -could Pc impnted to in'. It would be unjus _to me and to you." "Well, .11m," and there were tears in her voice, "I don't .think you are act ing fairly toeyard nee. Here I am an orphan, with nobody on _the earth, to love except an old guerclian, and I despise him. You've made rue love you so that life witbout you will be worse than no life at all, and now you say you cannot marry me until ypu make what it took ray father a lifetime to accumulate. Why, by that time I'll have wrinkles and maybe false teeth and glasses and be a horrid, snuffy. fussy old woman." / "No, Nell, I don't want to make S200,- 000, If I had 5100,000 it would he all right. And it will not take long. Out west I will make it quickly. Just You stand fast and wait for me." "Oh, I'll wait, but I think You are hateful and pigheaded just the same. Would you marry me if I hadn't any money at all?" "Yes, glacifY, and we would be happy too. You would manage somehow. But now my self respect will not allow nee." So it was that he went to make.his fortune and at the same time peace with his undely active conscience. To his utter disgust he found, after a Year's prospecting. that gold mines were not at all plentiful, and that every foot of the mountains had been prospected over time and again. A year in Mexico assured him that the business of _finding silver mines lying around looee had also played out long ago, and that it took lots of capital to start ranching on a paying basis. Funds were getting low, so he secured a place as one of the herdsmen of the XXX outfit atecl on account of his grave demeanor was promptly named by the other cosvputechers Sorrowful And.the name,Stuck to him During all his wanderings he had written to Nell as regulo.rlyeas possible and bad begun. to regret in a measure his PlIritalliCal C0118Cie00e. At $40 a month and grub he did not see that a fortune was in immediate prospect. Absence had indeed made his heart grow fonder, and he longed for a sight of Nell s laughing eyes and dimpled Yet he would net acknowledge him- self beaten or that Would give in.. Alec)] against his fnelination Pe re- mained consumed with a de,slie to see her, yet impelled ' to remain in stiff leeked pride, acting as avant courier and escort for a ;lot of wild. eyed, long horned stool's 11 the•I ,g himself for a fool, So he and the rest of the outfit did not haVe'verY bench in coninion together, and, he gretv more and roo're unsociable! and loriely. Small wornier was it, then, that when Pc reafeived a letter from her he Celt that his voluntary exile WfiS broken. His penance tVflk1 done, and he was free. to return to civilleation and Nelly, "Yen come on, .Tine dear," .the letter raid- "that is, of course, if yoti care to taice ap almost dowerless bride. I Pave :low' only enough left to bring' tile in $300 a year --exactly what you hod, I do not own another thing on earth, I iricl concluded that the money without you is not ‘yortil baying, and as long as you eve so stubborn about it saw that I riitisf-give in,' so I havo done so gladly. I have got to be 24, P.9 you know, and bare 'absolute control over An Irisbraan,s Ruse. . In the pioneer days of Victoria, B. C., a Ilibernian draytnan, whose property . abutted on to that a a.nierchana was very' much disgusted to find that the merchant's chickens Were constantly' in leis little garden rpatch and would • root up his flowers and vegetables. APpeals to the merchant, WiLIO , a patron of the drayman, were of no .avail, so the following ruse was adopt- ed:' •' Our friend , from the Emerald Isle pule asecl some eggs' and laced them 7,7 P r here and there in s garden. He the_ , 1 awaited the mercha.nt'e wife, who ; would eall the claiekene to feed them, and in full vieiv of tbe lady picked up the eggs and put them In his hat. 'Ile lady asked 11ilse what be wad d°`1`011411., getting a few eggs for m breakfas-n" said Pe. "Well," said the lady, "you bave no chickens. The eggs are mine." '-`0h, sum are they, inurn. Then what do they do in .my garden? Anything on. my premises is teiy OWIJ." After this the fence was made chick- . en proof; and Mikedhad no more trou- ble. -London Tit -Bits. ' A Story of Sunion. One day Alexandre Dumas •visited 1 riIiirseilles and made a trip to the Chit- teau d'If to visit the palace be had helped to make tetuious. Phe guide shoWe.d him everything; also the sub- terranean passage by tshich Edmond Dantes and Abbe Feria used to viSit each other. "This passage was dug by Abbe Feria by the aid of a (lel) bone," the guide explained. "M. Dumas. tulle . about it in Iiis story of 'alonte-Clbris- to.' " "Inde,ed," replied the author, "Alex- andre latunas must be familiar with aOl tbe surroundings here. Perhaps you know him?" ."I should thinl; so. I -le is one of my best friends." , "And you are one of his," replied the impulsive scribe, letting 2 fouls d'or gsittillioeinto the nand of the astonished Seleutille Research. Jester -Old Squeezit has agreed theta after his death his body shall be bugled over to the univereity, in the Interests of PCience„, ainison-Interests of sciences Jester --Yes; all Sqiieeent's relative tiny° insisted that Pe has no 'llearti the doetore are going to tind dude -Ohle el 0 te Jou net '