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The Exeter Advocate, 1897-12-16, Page 6DocToR jAcK • GEORGE RATRBORNE. CoNTINURO. • afercecles speaks a few more words, and turns awa.y, for she feels the eyes of Avis upon her all the time, and it makes her very uncomfortable. Jack sees her enter a compartment near by, He does not know what to think of her action, but like a sensible man, judges it from the motive, which he knows is a noble one. Their time is up—the signal cries are being given, and as yet Larry has not turned up. He will be left—all are anxious-eoncerning the little dude, and crowd the windows—the guard has left the door of the compartment open, and as the train begins to pull out Larry Is seen running with all the speed his little legs are capable of, his arms full • of the fruit he has bought. Luckily the watehful • guard sees hira, and on the alert to please his li- beral patron, he signals to the train - master. so that presently Larry climbs into the carriage exhausted, out of breath. but triumphantly holding aloft his packages of fine fruit "'Pon 'onah, now," he declares, as soon as lie can find breath, it wasn't my fault, ye see. I would have been back in good time, but d'ye know a beastly feltah began to accuse me of running away with his sister or his aw'it, oc somebody in petticoats, caught me by the arm, and declared it his intention to awest me. I heard the guard ewy all aboard,' but, hams the luck—pawdon the expwession, ladies, but a fellah gets worked up, you know —this chap wouldn't let go, so I just dwapped my packages, sailed into the bloody pirate, tuznbled him over among the owanges, and then enatele ing up my bundles made a bee line for the twain, which I came vewy near missing:, bah Jove !" •. That was the story—a very simple one, and with just enough of the lu- dicrous about it to create a general laugh, Doctor Jack, however, sees deeper into the game than any of the others, and taking advantage of the first opportunity lie tells Larry so. "The whole affair was a, set up job," be declares. "What i" cries the dude. "That man had lost no wife, or sise ter, or grandmother. Re simply lied." "With .what object in view, pray?" " To detain you in. Zaragoza, while the rest of us went on," replies Jack. "Te web xne ?" " It might have come to that, al- tbauga I am not sure. The main ob- ject was to separate you and I." "The duse ! What for ?" "Sizupiy that Avis might ba,ve one the less protector when the attack on the train is made." " .A.ttack on the twain !" gasps Larry. "Certainly, I have learned that after we leave Logrono, at a certain, small station where the train stops to give the locomotive a, drink, a band of Carlists mean to attack us. Their object you can readily guess—it is to take our lives, fur you are also ac- counted a traitor to the cause, since you are hand in glove with me." This information astounds the New York dude, but does not frighten him, It seems a pity that such indomitable spirit should have been placed by- a freak of nature in such an. insignifi- cant little body, " Well, the first part of their scheme has been a failure—we can outwit them, I rather guess, and If not, then ilaht." "Bravo 1 Larry, old boy, Never fear but that two such cronies as you and I will fall upon them hip and thigh if the occasion arises. But I hope to avoid it by leaving the train at Logrono, and waiting aver until to- morrow. By the way, are you arm- • ed, Larry ?" The dude nods. "I've got a revolvah in my hip pocket, and was accounted the crack shot of the Bon Ton Rifle Club in New 'York," he makes reply. "Better and better. I myself am no mean marksman, and 1 ha.ve a dandy six-shooter in InY Portman- teau, which, as you see, the guard has placed under the seat there. We will not worry over the matter, old fellow. Let us go to the Iadies—they look this • way, as though wondering what we are plotting about." Soon they are all eating fruit and chatting as merrily as though not the slightest shadow hung over them. But Jack speedily becomes aware of a certain fact—it causes him additional worry. Avis has turned as cold as an icicle toward him. When she chats with the rest she is as merry as of yore, but if he asks her a ques- tion she answers in the shortest way possible. Even the others notice her manner —how can they help it—and wisely de- cide that a chance should be given these two to make up, for already they look upon Jack and Avis as lov- ers. As for Doctor Jack, he is puzzled over the action of the girl. He knows no reason for it, and is about to set the thing down as some peculiarity in • her disposition—his experiences in the past have warned him that truth lies in that old refrain of the poets :— " Oh 1 woman, in our hour of ease, Uncertain, coy, and hard to please. And variable as the shade By the light, quivering aspen made— ;When pain and anguish wring the • brow, ministering angel, thou." As chance will have it, he finds hiniself with the young girl while the train rolls on up the valley of the Ebro. Avis has something on her mind, but she does not know how to go about introducing it. If Jack on- ly knew what it was he would gladly help her, but by accident he stumbles into the breach. They are talking of some queer things seen on the way, and Jack happens to express his opinion of peo- ple with black eyes, first looking into the translucent depths of her own blue orbs. " Strange as it may seem, my faneY bas always been in that direction—I have declared to my friends that if I ever married it would be a man. with black eyes. I adore them," she says, just like a woman intent on causing " The pasha ha s the finest I ever saw th a man," he returns, nonchal- antly, but the thrust only causes her to gasp a little, and resume :— "And I never saw such wonderful eyes in ruY life as were possessed by the peasant boy of Castile you were teatime with at Zaragoza." Doctor Jack smiles—he has discov- ered weat is on the nand ot Avis now, even befure she sails her craft any closer to windward. Ah„ Von noticed him, I was wish.- • ing you would. I wanted you to see aim. • " Indeed ! I should have thought that under sucla circumstances you would have brought him up to the car window," site sass, coldly. Jack is entirely unmoved—fixat In his position, knowing he has only done all that a true man might, he does not shrink from the investigation about Co'begin at the hands of tae fair girl he loves. "1 endeavoured to influence him, but he would r.ot come. Tao mo- dest, I presume, Miss Avis." She lauehts at this—how disagree- able. even the sweetest girl in the %soda can laugh when she 'wants to be particularly perverse—and Avis '.Ix ton :net now is struggling with a little (henna her heart has never known before—eealousy. Jack casts a side glance at her— wanders as tu what she knows. and how alma', sae suspects, and in the next 'breath lectins all, "It was triy opinion, Dootor Evans, that I bad never seen More effrontery eXhibited by any one than was shown by—that person." The last words are spoken through her pearly teeth, with particular force, and Jack knows now that Mercedes has been unmasked—her secret has not been able to stand before the clear vision of those keen Yankee eyes, He hardly understand e just how to go about it, but a.n explanation in cer- tainly in order, and nothing but the whole truth will satisfy Avis. " Miss Morton, there is no need of you and 1 mincing words. We un- derstand each other. I am led to be- lieve from what you say that you have discovered that boy's secret." " Boy—well, no doubt other eyes were deceived, but not mine," she re- plies, and there is a. teach of eager - nese in her voice, for she has a cur- iosity to know what has caused the haughty Spanish woman to so de- znean herself as to appear in this humble disguise. "You recognized her by her eyes ?" he asks. " Well, I remembered seeing such dazzling orbs before—something sent a suspicion into my brain, and when she looked at me I knew I was right, for she seemed ashamed. Now Doc- tor Evaris, I don't know whether yott owe me an explanation or not, but I have belieeeed and trusted itx you as a ,e3entlenean, and unless you have ob- jections I should like to know why Mer- cedes Gonzales is on the same train with you, in deep disguise, and why she talked. with you so earnestly at the station." Straight to the point these male, but Jack is ever ready to defend the absent, which trait is one of the nob- lest in his rnake-up. " First of all, Avis—Miss Morton— before I tell you the witole story from the beginning, 1 raustobeg that you will not condemn. the Senorita. Mercedes from our cold American standpoint. They do things differ- ently here in old Spain, and that she is possessed Of a noble nature after all, I can prove by telling you that she is even now risking her own life to save us from a threatened danger— warning of which she gave inc at Zaragoza." At this Avis looks sorry—her cold manner vanishes like the hoar -frost in the morning sun, and upon her face steals a look ..of eager anticipation. Already her heart is warming toward. the Spanish girl, and it will soon beat with even. greater sympathy when she learns how Mercedes, in her strange way, played for the stake and failed to graps it. Jack glances toward the others— Aunt Sophie is fast asleep, and Larry head over ears in a French novel that chains his attention. The coast is clear, the rattle of the train prevents other ears catching his words than those are intended for, The doctor is a capital story-teller— he has proven this upon the same au- dience when he related his adventures in Turkey at the time her brother got into trouble. Avis unconsciously enuggles down closer in order to hear better, and—well, Jack makes no ob- jection. He begins with his visit to the mountains, tells of Don Carlos, then of Barcelona, the pretty flower girl of the Rambla, the adventure in the streets, and the nun of Gerona. Then he goes on to tell of the bull -fight and all has happened. in Madrid. When he comes to Mercedes' visit to his hotel he tries to soften the Spanish girl's actions as well as he can, and although Avis despises the one who could thus sue for a man's love, she cannot but regard Jack with more respect because he tries to shield Mercedes and make light of her fella. One thing burns to the heart of the New York girl—Jack has hinted that when he first saw Mercedes he was somewhat _struck by her intense beauty, and that only for a certain thing he might have returned her love—what does he mean—can it be possible—why does the blood leap so wildly through her veins at the bare thought of such a possibility? There is a magnetic power about this man, and to herself she. admits that he has come through the fiery furnace unscathed—yes, and with an added lustre hi her sight. He is one to be proud of—a faithful friend, and as a lover—well, she dares not think •-Upon such a forbidden subject, but declares secretly that .Tack Evans is by far the noblest character she has ever met. When Jack finishes his story Avis knows all, even the danger in pros- pect, and yet this does not alarm her, since Jack will be there. She has al- ready learned to rely upon his mighty right arm, and should the occasion ever come when. the American athlete must bow to superior numbers in her presence, Avis will be doubly shock- ed, believing him invincible. • Evening is coming on apace, and the train still winds in and out, up the valley of the Ebro. It is very pictur- eaque as seen in the i1tQdeOlItjaff Lakeeseemeesesee-earsozarehaeloeaaeratemeaSaveaaaaleraseezeraaara''ageaaaattiitaniaelaiaatiaelataelea ' •day. At the next station the guava eaters and lights the lamps. Jack has ordered a bountiful sun - per, which is put aboard here in the same manner that the dinner was, and as they annihilate space—that sounds very big for use upon a Spanish rail- road, but it happens that just then they are making pretty good time— they set about enjoying the meal. Then they chat about various things, and the time passes away All is got- ten in readiness for leaving the car- xiage at Logrono, where they will find a decent hotel, and can await the train that leavea for Bayonne about three the next afternoon. Jack finds it is ten o'clock. In half an hour or so we -will be there," he says. Larry declares they are behind time, and the speed with .which they travel seems to prove that some thing is wrong. Half -past ten arrives—there is no town in sight at all. About twelve minutes later they rush into a place— lights are seen—a whistle shrieks, bells jingle—they pass a station on 'which people can be detected, and once more plunge into the darkness beyond. Doctor Jack turns to Larry—the lat- ter Is aghast. "'Pon 'onah! that's dused queer," gasps the dude, " That was Logrono, sure enough— we are late, and the conductor must have had orders not to stop, All very good, but I guess we're in for it, Larry, my boy," adds Jack, with a grim smile. CHAPTER XVI. The situation is aPpalling—Madame Sophie shrieks and hides her face with. her hands, for she has been told the danger—even Larry delivers himself of a singular mixture of choice expres- sloes such as are heard upon Broad- way in the vicinity of the Brunswick, and nowhere else, by meant ot which he intends to let the surplus steam es- cape. As for Avis, she stands there as white ea caalk, and with her starry eyes fastened upon Doctor Jack. In an emergency like this, tbank God for the presence of a man. The latter, after throwing his last words at Larry, coolly bends down and seizes his portmanteau, which has been lying snugly enseonsed under a seat, With a turn and a toss he has It out upon the floor. The others watch him in dumb anxiety while he fits a key, and then throws open the little leather trunk. Inserting his hand be draws out two leather holsters of unusual size, such as might be worn by the dashing cow- boys of the wild West. Each of these holds a weapon of some sort. • Laying them on the Seat, Jack again locks the porrnanteau. Then lie places it against the side of the car in such a way that it will afford protec- tion irt the threatening engagement. "Come, Larry, look alive, man. We must do our level best to beat these fellows. Take all the cushions, and form a rampat t—they will make almost as good a fort as sand bags." The dude sees the idea, and catches some of his enthusiasm. He springs to the task, and in a short space of time the interior of that first-class compartment presents a most singular and ridiculous appearance, to say the least. With the cushions and every- thing that can be made available, the men have formed a bullet-proof bar- ricade, behind which one might lie in security while leaden rain rattled about, for the hair in the cushions would arrest the progress of any ball. True, there is only room for two be- hind it—Avls notices this fact, and looks at jack. " Where will you be ?" she asks anxi- ously—for already her interest in his welfare is great, and it makes a great difference to her whether he is wound- ed or unhurt. Jack smiles in reply—it gives him a Peculiar satisfaction to realize that she is worried. about his condition. " Oh ! Larry and I will get on well enough out here, I reckon." "1 presume you are bullet-proof," sarcastically. " Not exactly, but you see we can crouch down, and if we are struck "— with a shrug of the shoulders—"why, it's the fortune of war." " Very good—of course you can please yourselves so far as that is con- cerned, but you forget that if both of you are shot we shall be without any protectors." • It is ingeniously put, and Jack • laughs. " Very good, as you say. Do jou and Madame Sophie crowd close to the wall as possible, then when the time. comes, and should the bullets fly too thickly, we may creep behind the barrier, teas I confess your last argu- ment has floored me." He speaks a little coldly, as though wounded by her words, and seizing the opportunity while Larry is stowing Madame So- phie away, Avis bends her head close to the curly locks of Jack, whispering: "Forgive me—I only used that as an argument. • It was you I thought of, not myself," and before he can turn she is beside Madame Sophie. All seems now arranged. The whis- tle gives a series of diabolical s'arieks, no doubt as a signal for the watering- ala6e ahead, and they can feel the train begin to slacken its speed. Evidently the ,.critical time is near at hand—Jack gives one last look around. It is a strange spectacle, and he will never forget it. He has already taken the two long, deadly -looking Western revolvers from their holsters —it is like slipping the hounds of war from the leash. These weapons may have been through many singular scenes in the past, but they never saw one that equalled the present. "Are you all right ?" asks Jack. He receives a look from Avis that nearly sets him wild, for it tells him how anxious the New •'York girl is about his welfare. • Every one having • answered in the affirmative, Doctor Jack proceeds to quiekly extinguish the lamps. • Darkness comes—inky darkness. The train is gradually slowing up, so that whatever may be in store for them they must soon know the worst. It is a. wild country just along here, and the whistle of the locomotive has Doctor Jack presses his face against the window, and endeavours to see what is coming. There is a, great light of some sort ahead—it flashes and flickers as might a huge Lire, which is probably the cause of the illumination. Jack is glad of this, as it will give them a chance to see what goes oa. If they can remain in dark- ness while their enemies are in the light the advantage must surely rest with them. • Slowly the train creeps along, and at length, after several jerks, conies to a full stop. The shouts of excited men can be heard, and also a roaring, crackling sound, as the huge fire burns up the combustible material given to It. while the pulsations of theengine may be detected at regular iutervals. Taken altogether, and considering the fact that they are the eawe of all this excitement, the situation is one that can never be forgotten by the American tourists. The women hold their breath with suspense, and pray—the men grit their teeth and watch. Louder and hoarser grow the shouts —they are approaching, nearer. Jack drops a window, and thrusts his head out. He sees a sight well calculated to thrill even the bravest man when he remembers that it is himself all this racket is about. ( BS CONTINCruo.) KEY CONCEALED IN A RING It Occupied Only a Small Space, But Uii- iooked Everything, A Cincinnatian but lately returned from England tells of a rather novel in- novation in the way of looks and keys, or, to :Teak, more correctly, key, At a country place he visited he was surprised to see his host unlook the gate- way of the place with a small key that in some nays:tartans way was produced from a large seal ring he wore. Yee the ring was not large enough to be cospion- ous by reason of its size or style. As be expressed some surprise in the matter, his host said:— " This is a master key. You see, it slides under the set in the ring and occupies 110 space whatever, It will un - look every look about the place, even nay dressing bas', any trunk, my bond box and wine oiler." He was asked as to the arrangement in general, wbother one key, say of the butler, would unlock the front door. "Not at all,," be replied. "The locks are all arranged in suites. The butler can unlock all the doors that are in his de- partment, and the housekeeper can un - leek the linen elosets and other doors Under her supervision, but the can not get into the butler's domain. And in every other department about the plaoo from end to end every one has his or her key, but I have only the master key. All of the doom open to rue. My valet can open my dressing case and closets, but he can not get a bottle of wine. Of course, the arrangement in a seal ring is novel, but it is very handy for me. In the first place, I can not lose it, and in the second plaoo everything opens to me without asking a question." Variations in Birds' Egks. S01110 eggs are speckled or blotohed all over nearly uniformly, but in most the markings aro densest around the larger end, where they form a pretty wreath the record apparently of a period of rest and pressure against a zone of pigment pores. The egg passes down the oviduot large end first, although the opposite progress, like a round wedge, would seem at first glance more natural, be- cause that is headforemost for the em- bryo, following the rule of animal births. While the eggs of some birds are re- roarkably constant in color and mark- ings, most of them exhibit considerable variety and *Inconstanoy, amounting to diversity of ground tint as well as of ornamentation. Spotted examples of normally plain eggs and the opposite are frequent oecurrences. These particulars have been given not only beoause they were thought to be interesting in themselves, but because they show how purely a matter of organic functions is the painting of a bird's egg, something over which the hen has no voluntary oontrol whatever.— Ernest Ingersoll in Harper's Magazine. Receiving an Ambassador. The ceremony observed in receiving a Minister is briefly this: On a day ap- pointed by the President the new Minis- ter drives with his secretaries and at- taches to the State Department, and is thence escorted by the Secretary of State te the Executive Mansion and conducted to the Blue Room. The Secretary then goes to the President's office and advises him that the Minister is in waiting. The President, on the arm of the Secretary, then proceed to the Blue Room, and, the Minister and his suite standing, the Sec- retary introduces the Minister, who, after bowing, proceeds to read his address, and at the proper ' time hands to the President his letters of credence, which are immediately passed to the Secretary of State. When the address of the Minis- ter has been read the President reads his reply, and after a few minutes spent in entirely informal conversation retires with the Secretary, who, returning, con- ducts the Minister from the Executive Mansion. — Ex:President Harrison in Ladies' Home Journal. Fiction's Unjust Treatment of the Rich. • .A grievance that has been treated very injudiciously in many works of fiction is the relation of the rich to the poor. Absolutely false ideas as to how the rich get their wealth, and what they do with it when the get it, have been persistently fated by novelists, for whom (as for the journalist) a millionaire is always fair game. • It is not worth while to expend any sympathy upon the millionaires in this matter, as they can struggle along under a considerable') weight of vitupera- tion; but the rest of us cannot afford to be put continually in a false attitude to- ward wealth. Hatred or envy of the rich is not a pleasant companion for our lei- sure hours, and the poorer we are the less pleasant company it is likely to be. It interferes with our working to the best advantage, and cuts us off from oppor- tunities of accumulating the very wealth that might ease our pains. —"Drooh" in Ladies' Home Journal. • M. Calino—Listen 1 Hore is a very good proposal for our daughter—a young man, rich, honest, unselfish, good book Ing only --there is an only—he is a foundling --without a name. Mme. Oalino (with a start)—Without a name I Then I should have a son-in-law sounded as though they were passing who will write only anonymous letters? so loud through a deep valley, the echoes are 1 Never in this world —LeIMonde Com- . . itvio. ._... . -aeimeeei,se' 5 (s1 ,e) —w---w---er- -W—W'-er—er--e'" A LITTLE BOY'S LAMENT. By A. T. Worden. I'Al GOING back down to Grandpa's, I won't come back no more To hear the remarks about my feet •• A-muddyin' up the floor. They's too much said about 'my clothes, • The scoldin's never done— I'm going back down to grandpa's, Where a boy kin hev some fun. 1 dug up haf his garden A-gettin worms fer bait; He said he used to like it When I laid abed so late; He said that pie was good for boys, An'candy made 'ern grow, • Ef I can't go to grandpa's I'll turn pirate. first you know. He let me take his shotgun, An' loaded it fer me, The cats they hid out in the barn, The hens flew up a tree. • I had a circus in the yard, With twenty other boys -- I'm going back to grandpa's here they ain't afraid of noise. He didn't make me comb my hair But ance or twice a week ; He wasn't watchin' out fer words, I didn't orter speak ; He told me stories 'bout the war And Injuns shot out west, Oh, I'm going down to grandpa's, Fer he knows wot boys like best. He even run a race with me, \ But had to stop an' cough; He rode my bicycle and laughed Bec'us' he tumbled off ; He knew the early apple trees Around within a mile, Oh, grandpa was a dandy, An' was "in it" alt the while I bet you grandpa's lonesome, I don't care what you say; 1 seen him kinder cryin' When you took me away. When you talk to me of Heaven, Where all the good folks go, I guess I'll go to grandpa's, An' we'll have good times, I know. S KETCHES BY lir QUAD 1 ,E:f-atyhmlft him standing in the mid - When Ebenezer Came Home. Re was a tall, thin, redheaded man, with a bad bow to his back and four front teeth 'missing, and I found him resting on a log beside the highway. Ho got up as I came along, and we passed the time of day, and he said: "My name's Ebenezer Higgins, and I'm just getting home after a three months' absence." "Been away that long, eh?" I queried. "Yes. Three months and over. I'm in such a hurry to get home that I feel like flying. I've got a wife and six clailchen, and bet the whole crowd of 'em will come running to meet me." Be added. that it was only three miles farther to his farm, and we walked along together in general conversation for half an hour, when he suddenly halted and said: "Mebbe they'll come to meet me and mebbe they won't. The children probably will, but the old woman may hang back. You see, I left hone because we had a VOW.'' "I see." "The old woman got the notion into her head that she could run things better'n me and wanted to walk me around. I stood on my dignity." "And that caused a quarrel?' "You bet it did! I told her what was what and walked off, and I'll bet she's jest dying to seo me. I guess it has been a good lesson to her." The nearer we got to the house the less Ebenezer seemed to want wings. As we reached a hill half a mile away he came to a dead stop to take a look. There were several children in the road, and they looked at us and probably recognized their father, but none of them moved. "They don't seem very anxious," ob- ierved the man as ,his face lengthened. "No, they don't." "But perhaps they ain't sure who I ans. I don't see the old woman about. Guess she's in the house'crying her eyes out and wishing I was home. Let's not be in any hurry, stranger." We went forward at a slow pace, and by and by one of the children ran through the gate in the brusb fence and entered the house. The others stood still and stared, and not a sign was given that they had ever seen the man before. • - " They ain't sure of me 'cause I've let my whiskers grow," whispered Ebenezer. "They are all there—Sammy, Tommy, Daisy, Moses and Evangeline. I guess I'll walk in on the old woman first." Re started for the opening, but before he could enter it a gaunt, engularwomaa, with muscular arms and. big rod hands, came bouncliag out. She picked the man up as if he had been a seek and tossed him over the fence. Then she ran around and tossed him back, and as he arose she put her foot against him with a crash. He rolled over and over and "got up to run away at the top of his speed. Nota word had been said by any one. The woman nodded at me in a defiant way, and I fol- lowed on after Ebenezer. I found him half a mile away, still breathing hard, and as I came up he asked: "Did she say anything?" "Did the children say anything?" "No." "Waal, by gumi" ho gasped as he fum- bled at a broken suspender, and I went Not Like Other Agents. There were live passengers of us to take the train at Davisburg at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, but as the hour approached the station agent got word. that there had been a smash up down the road and that we would have three or four hours to wait. Ho followed his information by saying in the most courteous naunter; "Gentlemen, I have here a copy of Shakespeare, a volume of Longfellow and two or three novels. I will arrange chairs for you on the shady side of the depot, and you can sit and read. Here are cigars for such as wish them." Our surprise was too greatfor utterance. We smoked and read and wondered what kind of a man we had. met up with, and at the end of an hour he came to us with a pitcher of lemonade and said: "Gentlemen, it is a hot day. Have some lemonade, andhere area euchre deck and a table for such aswould like to play cards." When he had gone, we canvassed his strange conduct in whispers and almost decided that he roust be light in the head. After half an hour or so he reappeared and smilingly said: "Gentlemen, I have heard from the train Yon will have to wait a full three hours yet. There is to be a funeral down here about two blocks at 4 o'clock, and perhaps you'd all like to go down and kill time." We thanked him kindly for his thought- fulness, but none of us cared to go. "Would you care to go to a wedding?" he continued. We thought not and assured him that We were doing well, but at the end of an other half hour he said: "If you gentlemen would care to see a dogfight to kill time and make things pleasant, I will arrange one." We talked the matter over and decided against it, but thanked him for his kind intentions. When we had yet an hour to put in, the agent brought more lemonade and cigars and said: "Gentlemen, you must excuse this smash up and. delay on our road. It has never happened before, and I hope it won't again. I can get up a horse race in a few minutes if you would like to see one." We didn't want to put him to any fur- ther trouble, but he didn't seem to feel that he had done half enough. He offered us quoits, baseball, croquet and a lifting ma- chine and wound up by saying that if any of us cared for billiards and would step across the road he would pay for the games. "Look here, my friend," said the major at last, "I never saw a station agent like you before." • "No?" "You are kindness itself. You have put yourself out as no other man would. You must have an object in view." "Yes, I have," was the frank reply. • "And what is it, pray?" Well, this station pays the agent VS • per month, and if I lose my job I've got to go to cutting wood at 30 cents per eord. I'm using you dead right so you'll speak a good word in my favor, for there's just 85 men in this town who evant this place so they can't sleep nights Gentlemen, 'MVO a cold bottle and a chicken sandwich with me!' ' M. Quin. Any Old Way. Father—I cannot give any daughter a large dowry. Count Dunne—Never mind. I'll take her on the installment plan.—TownToplos.