The Exeter Advocate, 1890-12-25, Page 6THE IRISH WAR.
And hal is Almost Blindeti by Limo lloing
Thrown in tlis Eyo,
SOME DISGRACEFUL SCENES.
Demme, Deo, — The town clerk at
Iingetown presented Mr. Parnell with, ten
'Address, expressing admiration of his re-
emlute resistance of the ineolent dictation
of Gladstone," and immuring him of
eupport in, his "noble work." The
addreee contained this declaration :
"The people will not accept any Home
Rule eoleeme not giving to the people full
control of the police and paver to settle the
land question, In his speech made upon
his arrival tit Mr, Kenny's houee to
those who bed eseorted him, Mr. Parnell
said he was confident that with the youth
of Ireland on his side he would win, and
the oommon sense and judgment of the
Iriah people would rally in the true path
toad refuse to allow the country to be dia.
tided to by anyone, however eminent. The
Parnell Leaderehip Committee duriug the
-day presented Mr. Parnell with an address
emphasizing in the strongest manner con-
denmation of the "miserable and con-
temptible position" the seceders had as-
sumed. It said they had belied their own
utterances, had been false to their pledges
of fealty and to their constituents, and had
ignored the principles with which under
Mfr. Parnell's guidance they had achieved
the only sumiess ever resulting to them
from Parlimmentary action.
While on the street to -day a hostile
arowd threatened Mr. Healy, who was
compelled to seek protection from the
police.
" UNITED IRELAND )1 RECAPTURED.
Late tomight a strong party of Parnell's
opponents made a descent :upon and recap-
tured the offices of United Ireland. The
invaders destroyed all the leaders, evhiola
had been prepared by Mr. Leamy, who was
installed as editor by Mr. Parnell, and
threw all the matter that they found set
np into the fire. Then they took possession
of the ledgers and other books and doou.
ments belonging to the concern. All this,
was done in the name of Wm. O'Brien. A
strong posse from various laborers' societiee
has been left as a garrison with instruc-
tions to remain on guard day and night,
and to resiet by force any further intrusion
by Parnell and his friends. It is stated
that the suppressed edition will appear to-
morrow.
AN IMUENSE PROCESSION.
Parnell ooneulted with his supporters
during the greater part of the day. At 7
o'clock this evening he went to the Man-
sion House, where the procession was to
form. There the crush and enthusiasm
was so great that Parnell and his compan-
ions found a great diffioulty in reaching the
aoor. The crowd was enormous and the
people were tightly paoked and wedged in
together. After nearly an hour was spent
In forming the procession, a start was made
amid the crash of a score of brase bands
and the waving of torches. Parnell rode in
the lord mayor's carriage at the head of the
line. Just as the prooeesion started a score
of enthusiastic men unharnessed the
horses and took their places, dragging the
carriage in triumph the whole way to the
Rotunda. Parnell received an ovation all
along the route, and at the hall he experi-
enced the greatest difficulty in reeking his
way to the entrance. The hall had been
ewpoked almost to suffocation for an hour
tevions to the arrival of the procession.
laen-Parnell got ineide he found it im-
possible to reach the platform in any way
other than on the shoulders of the crowd,
and he passed to the stage over the heads
of reporters, the audience pressing forward,
sweeping aside the stewards, and clamber-
ing upon the platform after him. The
clearing which began when he entered the
hall was kept up for several minutes, during
which Messrs. Kenny and Campbell, the
, two Redmonds, and others forced their
way to the platform. When the tumult
had subsided, the Lord Mayor was installed
in the chair, and a vote of confideece in
Parnell was paseed amid great enthusiasm.
PARNELL'S ADDRESS.
Parnell said : I have been accused of
absence from the field of battle, but I did
mot intend to plead to -night either excuses
or reasons, believing that yon, having con•
tadenoe in me, would not put me to such
an ordeal, but take me for what eon have
known me to be and for what, please God,
I will prove myself to be in the face of
Ireland and my fellowcountrymen. (Loud
cheers.) There is need at the present
•crisis for discrimination and judgenent
against Irishmen. Well, I invite them.
It is said I was absent from the light.
Gentlemen, when Wellington retired to bis
winter quarters within tbe lines at
Torres Vedras, his officers did not seek
to put a halter round hie neck.
(Cheers.) It is easy to make ex-
cuses for cessation and defection, but
I tell you: when the day comes for
measuring the amount of my short.
camings—(ories of "No ")--and those ot
my opponents the balance will not be
against me. (Shouts of "Down with the
renegade:3M) I did not plead sickness,
though, God knowe' it was not the time
when I was crippledin herath and strength
and felt doubtful whether I would ever
again come before yon—not the time to
confront me with a movement of mutiny—
(arise of " Bravo ")—stronger, more
vindictive, disgraceful and cowardly—
(oriea of "Healy ") than ever commander.
an -chief was oalled on to face. Yes, they
bided their time. They thought I was
dead and that they might play around my
corpse and divert the Irish nation from the
true lathes involved without reckoning with
you and me and without taking into con.
ideration the undying resolution
of our race, that when they
found a trete man they would stand
by hira. (Cheers.) No, I suppose this is
a great crisis. Who made it? (Cries of
"Healy, Sexton.") It is me. (Cries of
"No ! ") It is you or who? (Several
voines : (" Old Gladstone, the hypocrite.")
We all shall see some day wile aid this
deadly thing against our race. We shall
know where to affix the stain they genght
to attach to me."
Paraell mai that, if Glaaetoneainstead
of weieing nine days after the verdict, had
whispered to him that his retirement was
.neceesery be (Parnell) would have saved
hie comrades from the position ie which
they placed tbeenselvee by the Leinster
t esolutiott. He referred imnicelly Glad-
-Monate talk of reeigning.
THE OPPOSITION ISIANTFESTO..
tiONDOPTI Deo- , 'Eh° nal -Parnell
members of the Irieh Parliamentary perm
• leaVe Mead manifesto to the Irish people.
tbia they oey ,a-
lecielitie bound to roteeMour COULltrY'S Cat100
at whatever perional saerinee, we found our -
minim tinder the ed rieccssity of terminating Mr.
•,Parnell's leadership. It weal have been easier
tzz have left hint tiodisturbod, but such e. course
Valid baize hilt every man of ns a traitor td biS
ID011atVY, Mr. Parnell, ditrogarding our appeals'
to remember the detintry, evinced an in -judged
•eletenhination te Mitintain his untenable
ildn,thus' threatening' to tiling() Ireland nic n,
„corilliet winch may overwhelm berarid cause her
present Mir prow:mote to disappear forayer, It
tile day of tritium% now, neetemetive a all
consideration of feelings citizen' fog Ur, Varna,
or those differing from him, te adopt a course
that will tend to save Ireland front destruction.
After detailing various rename for their
adieu, the flipera or the manifesto add
that whatever judgment Irelena mey pates
On the maniiesto her Calltie Menge on the
frame, and the Walleye will abide by that
judgment, they being the nation's servants.
Teletueoyeonwua:morate the charges spinet Parnell
a
(1) Fie speaks self he were the injured party,
whereas lie alone is responsible for the present
deplorable eituation.
(2) He pledged himself to repel the charge in
conneetion with the O'Shea case, but when the
time came to do tbis he remaieed Meet.
(3) Be does not hesitate to renounce and de-
nounce the multitudea of English iriendS Of
liberty as English wolves.
(4) But the English wolves and the Irish
bisbops express the same opinion Of Alr, Par-
nell, and he cannot mend matters by calling
nicknames.
(6) The roznainder of the lieinster re-election
was the most ungenerous tont ever uttered.
The effort to sustain Mr. Parnell withoutplaoing
Ireland false is made a cause of attack, wiz:armee
ought to be a vindication.
The signers' position before Ireland is
dwelt upon at length. They set forth that
Parnell's re•election WSS due to gratitude
for past services, and his disposition to the
foot that if he continued as leader the
struggle might have been abandoned. The
manifesto says Parnell meet be aware that
his pereouality obstruote efforts for freedom
and leaves Ireland with nothing for many
years bat the abominable system imposed
by the present Government.
The signers say them refuse to abandon
Gledetone for Parnell or to insist upon the
Liberal leader revealing his plans, whiob,
they elm, would be foolishly to give advan.
tageous opportunities to Ireland's foes. The
signers refuee to believe Meat Gladstone de-
sired to dictate. He was bound to publish
his conviction that the retention • of
Parnell in the leadership of the Irish party
would wreck Home Rule. Why should a
man of 81 waste the brief remnant of his
life in a struggle foredoomed to feilure ?
The signers offered Parnell an opportunity
of temporary retirement with a view to his
eventual reinstatement, but he never gave
the faintest chance of a settlement. Eris,
fatal manifesto was an appeal to the
hatreds between the peoples of Great
Britain and Ireland, and makes it impossi-
ble for him hereafter to co-operate with the
Liberal party.
The manifesto concludes " Fellow -coun-
trymen, the issue we submit to you is one
upon which the fortunes of our country
must depend. May God defend the right.'
There are 47 signatures attached to the
manifesto, headed by Justin McCarthy.
wm. O'Brien Interviewed.
Wra. O'Brien was interviewed to -day
regarding the seizure of United Ireland by
Mr. Parnell. He said : " I cannot believe,
unless my orders were disregarded, that
the edition which Mr. Parnell attempted to
suppress by force was to contain bitter
personal attacks upon himself. When the
controversy arose I cabled the following to
Manager Donnelly : ' If the party decides
in favor of Mr. Parnell hand over the estab-
lishment to any authorized agent of Mr.
Parnell. If the party decides against hie
leadership, support our views moderately,
but etrenuouely, avoiding all unkind lan-
guage of Mr. Parnell personally, and permit
nobody to interfere.' I received thia re-
ply : ' Message received, your inetrnotions
will be strictly obeyed.' I subsequently
twice cebled Acting -Editor B odkin enjoiniug
him to see that nothing personally °frau-
give to Parnell should appear, and for-
bidding him to uee the cartoon of the
paper in the controversy. I specially in-
structed him to print nothing on the
subject except whim he should write him-
self. On the night before Mr. Parnell's
raid, in reply to a amblegram from two of
Mr. Parnell's chief supporters, begging
Mr. Dillon and myself to come to Paris
and asking me to direct United Ireland
to observe neutrality in the meantime,
I cabled as follows : " Will be delighted
to meet Jack and you in Paris. Will
gladly direct neutrality of United Ire-
land meanwhile, if controversy is sus-
pended all round." One of the gentlemen
who cabled me that message WEIS amongst
those who broke ioto the office. The shares
which stand norninelly in Mr. Parnell's
name are less then half the share capital
in the United Ireland company. Mr Parnell
of not, and has nob been for nearly five
years past, a director of tbe company. He
ceased to be so at his own desire, for the
purpose of guarding himself from al/
pecuniary or criminal responsibility for the
paper. That responsibility I have myself
borne wholly throughout all these years.
No director of the company accompanied
him, and those who forcibly took posses-
sion of the United Ireland office
with him had not a shadow of
legal authority for their proceedings.
As to the recapture which followed,
I men only surmise that some kind people
of Dublin, who had not altogether forgot.
ten me'allowed their natural feelings to
outrun their forbeimance. I spent the best
years of my life in founding United Ire-
land. For ten years it hae, often single-
handed, borne the brunt of three consecu-
tive Coercion Aces. Words asenot tell how
mournful it is for me to think that after
weathering so many years of continuous
life and death straggle with Dublin Castle,
the paper should, in my absence, and
while my hands Were tied, experience such
treatment at the hande of :lee leader I all
but worehipped. But I am quite eager to
forget this and all other pereonal °paid-
eratione, if by any pmeible honorable
means patriotic raen on both sides can
even yet succeed In maying the present
fatal strife in Ireland.
PARNELL'S EYES FILLED WITH LIME.
While other Pernellites were addressing
the °roe d a number of Davits' followers
got together and begieu hooting at the
speakers. The Peroellites oiosed around
the vehicle from which their orators were
addressing the people, and the police ap-
peared and tried to divide the Medium
The meeting ended in a merle of wild con-
fusion, and Parnell and his friends drove
off amid showers of stones and mud.
Frequent attempts to assail the raembers
of the party were made, end several bags
filled with lime were thrown at them.
Harrington's shoulders were covered with
lime, and a mass of lime amuck Mr. Par-
nell full in the face, completely blinding
him. This infuriated Parnell's friends.
Harrington, advancing toward Father
Downey, wbo was at the head of Parnell's
opponents, shouted, "Coward 1 you are
a disgrace to your church." The police
again interfered, seed the Parnell
party, who had left their cars, again took
their setae and finally got away. On the
, road Mr. Parnell's eyee, 'which were quite
closed, were extremely manful. He
soon obliged to step his odrrittge, and ne
entered a laborer's cabin in 5 feinting con-
dition. A local doctor attended him. Lime
had become caked beneath hie eyelida, and
the doctor was only able to remove 801210 bf
it by using a sills handkerchief toed some
hair oil iu the eisbin. The ptiveioian finally
advided Parnell to drive to Kilkenny, Find.
ing be was unable to remove all the lime,
the doctor urged Mr. Parnell to drive with
all speed to town, arid thie was done.
Arriving at the Viotenria Hotel, ear. Parnell
had to be lea from the waggonette •to his
roma Ile reclined ha an arm obainapper-
etitly eightlese and suffering most acute
ttgony, Be still rethaine in she handle 0f
hie doctors, alargeate Hackett, Who at-
tended Mr, Parnell along the road, etated
et a late hour to•night that all the lime had
been removed, but the patient was still
euffering inteneely, He eaid he did pot
anticipate trona present appearaueee per-
manent injury to air. Parnell'a sight.
Tim Daily News correspondent et
Hil-
kenny oentraste the Permit of to -day with
the remelt of a year ago. He mme when
Pe.rnell was denouncing Tanner and Devitt,
hie white teeth gleamed and leis worde
issued barshly and ferocionely. It was the
low refined voice of Parliament bet the
hard, cruel voice ef one hungering for
vengeance. He patted Harrington on the
ehoulder in approval of the latter' s dentin-
oiatione of Sir John Pope Hennessy. How
meaningless the geature seemed to be. Par-
nell's face was thinner than I ever before
saw it. The luster of bio eyes was gone
and they seemed red a:ad dazed. He smoked
many cigarettes. His gestionlations and
his familiarities with his followere were
utterly different from anything I ever saw
in hie demeanor before.
The News says editorially: It is evident
Mr. Balfour ordered the police not to arrest
Mr. Harrison. Should Dillon and O'Brien
be arrested it will reduce to an utter
absurdity and a revolting fiotion the theory
that the law is impartially administered in
Ireland.
The News truete Mr. Dillon will use his
influence to prevent a repetition of the
criminal folly of the lime throwing inch
dent. The best way, the paper continues,
to destroy Parnell's power is to 1st him rave
in peace.
HILLS AS WELL AS CURES.
A. Point in Whick,Roch's Cure Does Piot
Differ from Others.
A Berlin despatch says : Many mediest
men who osme here from abroad to atudy
the Koch treatment are leaving with their
hopes of its succese abated. Some special -
lets continue their demonstratione of the
treatment, but the others have ceased to
inquire for fatalities. Prof. Bergrefaian,
upon concluding his demonstrations, an-
nounced that he Lad made injectiommin 0
°sees, but would not pronounce definitely
upon the results or the methods of the
treatment until a year had elapsed. Never-
thelese, he reaffirmed his belief in the value
of the remedy.
The Herald publiehes an interview with
Prof. Virohow on the Koch remedy. While
admitting that Koch had made a most in.
portant discovery, .Virobow said wholesale
inoculation with the lymph was absurd un-
til exhaustive experiments had proved its
name. It was clear to him that the
lymph was dangerous for children and per-
sona in an advanced stage of ooneumption.
He declined to admit that it afforded a
certain die,gnoeis, and said he nelieved its
efficaoy in the treatment of lupus etill
needed proof. He thought experimenta
covering two or three years ought to be
made.
The reaction spinet the Koola treatment
has increased in violence. Eight patients
have died soon after the injection of the
lymph, and this, combined with thinfine
that there has been no verified cure, has
intensified the public: feelings against the
experimente. A number of hospital
patients here and in Lyons, wbo have been
undergoing Koch treatment, have refused to
submit to further trials. Owing to the pub-
lic furor, the commiseion, headed by Prof.
Nallopean, ethic% is teeting the remedy, has
decided to maintain absolute silence as to
the results until the teats home keen com-
pleted.
A man in Madrid suffering with oon-
sumption, who was inoculated with the
Koch lymph, has just died. For mem
days before his death he breathed witha,
difficulty, and bis pulse was irregular: A
post-mortem examination revealed the
atm' conetimptive appearance and a peri.
oardial swelling.
Wain 8teLliatellee1a0Fie MUittiegw.
Patilewsky Confesses to rleotUgthe
General—Ens Eacape.
A Paris cable says: The Anarohist De
is Bruyere, hap written a better to ,Le Ola e,
itt evlatch he states that he assisted Ped-
lewky, the Ithesian Pole suspected of
murdering Gen. Seliverakoff, to mow from
Patio Meer the orime was committed,
Padlewsky, De Is Bruyere says, macle bis
way to Trieste, where he embarked upon a
yeesel and sailed for South America.
The statement of the Anarchist De la
Bruyere that he aseisted Padlesveky, the
euppoaed naurderer of Gen. Seliverekoff, to
eseepe, largely engrosses the attention of
both the police and the public. The
prefect of polioe and the public, presenter
neld an extended conference to -day ae to
the advisability of arresting De Is
Brayer° until the accuracy of kiie story
could be tested. According to De la
Bruyere's letter to Le 0/air newspaper,
Pacilewsky confessed to hint that he killed
Gen. Seliverskoff on the epur of the moment
after he had had a long conversation with
the general. The general had tried to
pump him regarding the frequenters of
Bernholl's }mum, where Pedlewsky was
employed, and concluded by proposing that
Padlewsky act as a spy. Ilia proposition
Pedlewsky had resented by el:tooting the
general, and had eaosped as his victim fell
on hie desk, face downward. Three nights
later a woman visited De is Bruyere and
implored him to assist Padlevesky in
leaving the country. De la Bruyere says
he wanted on the ground that it was a
political crime. He relates how he dim
guise a the fugitive by changing the color of
his complexion and hair, and afterwards
accompanied him to Trieste. De Is
Bruyere magus as a farther motive for
his actioa that he deaired to show that
French reporters were not behind American
and British newspaper num in journalistic
enterprise.
FAINTED UNDER THE LASH.
.AnAssaulter of Children at the Triangle—
Punishment Postponed.
A Montreal deepatoh eaye : For nearly a
year at short intervals horrible outrages
have been committed upon obIldren, and
efor the most part the perpetrators went
unpuniehed. One at Met was (Aught and
sentenced to two years in the penitentiary
with the infliction of 40 lashes in two in-
etalmente. One of these he him received,
and an attempt was made this morning to
clear off the score. The criminal's name
is Joaeph Cuseon, and he effected hie pur.
pose by entering houses in the guise of a
friar. This morning at 7 o'clock he was
taken from his oell iuto the western cor-
ridor, where the triangle was arranged.
The frame stood upright at an angle, stsi
the victim was quickly bound to it by
straps, and his arms fastened around the
posts. The instrument was of the usual
kind, a twelve -inch handle with twelve
thongs of afimat knotted oord. Turnkey
Lalonde, an accomplished operator, was to
adminieter the punishment. Everythieg
was prepared in a business fashion in the
presence of a dozen people. The surgeon
gave the word, and the first blow fell with
stinging force, leaving well -marked livid
ridges across the back. The man instantly
fainted—et least the surgeon declared it
was a case of syncope, though it looked
more like a piece of mockery. The punish-
ment was stopped and will be tried again
in January.
THE DETROIT TRAGEDY REPEA.TED.
Masquerading Students In Flames—Two
Fatally, Others Serious!y Injured.
An Akron, 0., aespatoh says : At a birth.
day celebration in Buchtel College last even-
ing 30 lady students were gatbered itt the
society's library building. They were
entertained by eight others, who wore
masks and loose flowing garments, with
high hats also covered with cotton. The
hat of Miss Aurelia Steigmier, of Utica,
N. Ye caught fire, and the fire was cam-
rannicated to the entire party. Every
effort was made to save the young ladies,
whose screams were heard throughout the
great building, and whose blazing costumes
seemed to MI the room. Miss Mary
Stevene, of Clifton Springs, N. Y., had
every particle of clothing burned from
her body and rolled over and over
in the centre of the room, where a
little group tried to extengnish the
flames. Miss Steigmier wag 'burned from
head to foot. Both will probably die. Two
holes were burned in the floor, but tbe fire
was extinguiehed. The others bajared are:
Miss Mary Baker, of Fort Plain, N. Y.,
neck, face and ohest charred to a cinder;
Aurelia Warwiok, of Storm Lake, Is.,
severely burned, also Diana Haynes, of
Albetene, Ke. ; Myrtle Baker, of Peru,
Ohio; Eva Dean, of Storm Lake, Ie. ;
Addis Buchtel, of Columbia, Kas., niece of
John R. Buohtel of this city, founder of the
college ; Estelle Mason,' of Magdore, 0.;
Dora Merrill, of 'Williamsport, Pa. The
dormitories of the college were turned into
hospitals, end a corps of physiciane called
in,
Horrible Wife Murder in Paris.
A London cable says: Madame Laces -
sin, wife of a workman who had recently
been released from jail, refused to maintain
marital relations with her husband. Her
refusal enraged Imottesin, who upon meet.
Mg her on tbe street to day again requeeted
her to live with him. She refused, where-
upon LSORSSiD drew a revolver and fired
four :Mots into her body. The woman fell
to the sidewalk, and her hneband drew a
knife and attecked her with fiendish
ferooity, horribly mutilating her. He then
attempted to hill himself.
13 illed by a Falling House.
A Brooklyn despatch says: Daring the
high winds this tnerning a two-story and
le:moment brick building, owned by Chao.
B. Butler and being erected at the corner
of Wilde street, near Sixth avenue, wee
blown down. It fell on s one-story brick
etructure oconpied by one Nioholoni Deph-
ino, an Italian shoemaker, and his wife and
two children. The family were baried itt
the mine. All were rescued unhurt, Salle
Retina, a 13.yeer old girl, who was killed.
The damage is 1$6,000.
ow She Remembered Him.
Huaband—How aid you get along while
I was away, my dear? '
Wife—Pretty well. Every night I got
out some of your old clotheand strewed
thorn &Mond the floor, traoked mud all
over the steams and swore at myself omit.
sionally, and it seemed really like home.
Belay voile are likely to have the sem
PoPlellaritY enjoyed by the aladiha veil.
Whey aro *orb with large hate, blat intiteeid
elf being gathered in owlet the chin they
cover the head, hat and face and ftell over
the ahotilders.
A GREEN GOODS CAPTURE.
dler_ MulleR Neatly Bagged at Grand
Rapids. Mich.,
A Grand Repels, Mich., despatch says:
A moat important capture was made by a
United States detective at Alba, Antrim
County, yesterday, and the man is now in
jail in this, city. His name is George
Mullen' and he is mad to be one of a large
gang ofmen operating in "green goods "
in New York city. For years the country
has been flooded with oiroulsrs hinting that
great money could be made if the person to
whom the letter was addressed were dis.
met, and offered to sell "green goods" at
greatly reduced rates. Seven weeks ago the
postmaster at Alba got a letter from New
York asking if letters could be addressed to
his office for New York parties. Tbe post-
master immediately notified the Depart.
manteet Washington and was told to "do
[whatever the people wished of him. Lettere
have been arriving at a rapid rate and yes-
terday a man called for them. He got
about 500 of them nicely in his hands,
when he was nabbed by the officers, put in
irons and brought to this city. He had a
short examination before United States
Commiesioner tacteriewan, who held him
to the March grand jury in bonds of e2,500.
Sensible Christmas Riots.
Ray no more than you can afford.
Give no gift where von do not delight to.
Shop no more than you have the strength
for.
Entertain only within your means.
Keep your Christmas nerve, and muscle,
and heart, and hope, and cheer. first for
your own h me, your own fireside, your
dearest, your closeet, your sweetest --and
tben for the homeless, the fireless, tbe
unloved, the " nndeared," and be erne,
trne, true to the last Christmas card that
goes to your post -office, or the last " Merry
Christmas " that crones your lips
We are a generone people, and a happy
people'and a Christian people, end we
must keep our festival with sincerity,
honor, intelligence and good sense, if we
wneeld keep it alive and " In Hie Name."
-2-E1izabeth Stuart Phelps.
Klpsed the Wrong Woman.
A ridionlons misteke happened at the
wedding of one of our young townsmen
quite reciently. The bride and groom were
driving off after the momentous ceremony,
when the bride remarked, " You forgot to
kista auntie." The happy groom replied,
" No, I think not. I kissed a lady I
thought was her anyway." " For good -
nese sake," replied tbe agitated bride,
0 I'll wager you've kissed the minister's
wife.'' A hasty description of the lady's
personality wag given by the bride, vehen
the awful truth was forced npon them that
the dignified and sensitively particular
better ball of the Episcopal minister ofti
Mating had been the unwilling victim of
eniatalsen osculation.—St Catharines Star.
Dignity Rebuked.
Fuels: You've got into ,me for all I'm
worth," remarked the Stocking to the
Jumping Jack.
" All the same I'm in a hole," replied
the Jumping -Jack.
And when Smite Clans heard them talk.
ing in that way he broke the Jumping Jack
and took the Stocking for a nogobag for ono
of his reindeer.
It is stated that Clarence Greathouse
United States Consul -General of Japan,
has resigned in order to accept the appoint.
merit of Prime Minister of the Comen
Governntent.
An Engliele fox hunting limenee hail been
added to the first act ot "Almost a
Critne." Real femhournie are used sod the
Rot is field to he very effectiett.
THEY SHAVED THE TURKEY,
Howard l'ielding an. Wande Prepare a Chrietmas
Dimmer in the Absence of Bridget.
A ilIGELY INTERESTING EXI'ERIEN011.
The e wird e Furnishes raeat tor Many
mead—oresara. mhoet Laid at Last.
At the coming of this eeaeon memory
alwaya carried me back to the first Christ -
Mae day in that household of which I am
the nominal bead. Not a line of the picture
fades beyond PeCall ; partly beeauee I date
the best blessing for whioh any man oan
offer thanks back to that period, and
partly because the dinuer of our flat that
day lef t an everlasting inepreseion upon my
digestive apperetas.
We had amen married but a few weeks,
and I had numb to be thankful for. Mande,
too, seemed reaigned. Even that dinner, if
I had known that I wee to survive , it,
roight have bad a ailver lining.
It is natural to suppose that we could
have wiehed to dine by the light of the
honeymoon with only eaoh other for com-
pany. Mande, Wee SO proud of her home,
and I was BO proud ot her, and we were
both so proud of me, as a man whom even
the meet indiscriminating and nearmiglated
observer veoulcl recognize as it model
husband, that we resolved to ask Tom
Reynolds up to dinner. I will remark, in
parenthesis, that Tom being disoriminating
and fameighted stayed awayon this ommaion
but we expected him, and made prepara-
tions to fill him with turkey, pie and a
desire to foraake the lonely path of cell
-
balm.
The servant told me to order my turkey
iu advance, and she suggeated au eight -
pounder ; but as I walked so the butoher's
shop the warm, expanaive generosity of
my heart rose up and protested against
such niggardliness. I ordered a fourteen.
pound bird. It happened that on the
evening before Christmaa our eervant went
to call upon some friende, and I am sorry
to say her absence was prolonged thirty
days beyond her original Intention by
judicial interference. But the turkey
arrived on time, and he was a .no biped,
as I remarked to Maude, after reoeiving
him from the hands of the butcher's boy.
Maude looked nervous, and asked if I
diaret think Bridget would come back in
time. I said I dian't, lend then added that
I was awfully sorry my own little Maude
would have the trouble of cooking the
turkey, but that the pleasure to be derived
from eating a turkey which she had cooked
would unfit it man tor properly appreciat-
ing the joys of paradise. She turned her
face away, and had a small, convulsive
spasm, which I attributed to gratified
vaniy. ,ty.
B
Moto& it beoame evident that the
preparation of the turkey would devolve
upon Maude She was pale, but outwardly
calm. We invaded the kitohen together.
The turkey lay upon the tabie, and hie
dimensiona were imposing and awful.
Mande oast one long, pallid mare at him ;
then drew a gasping breath, turned end.
denly, and fled. 1 found her with her face
buried in a pillow.
" What's the matter, Mand? I asked.
"The turkey won't bite you; he's dead."
"Go away, Howdy," said she, in a, voice
interrupted by sobs. " Yon will never love
me any more, I have deceived yon; oh.
cruelly deoeived you; I cannot, cannot
cook. Leave me to my remorse."
" My dearest love," said I, endeavoring
not to laugh, "you never told me you
could cook. If I thought so the responsi-
bility is wholly mine. The mistake arose
from my immured inability to imagine
tarnya.th,,ing.which you could not do if you
ie
Maude ang her heed into the pillow, and
persisted in ateying that she was it wicked,
deceitful woman. I perceived that a chenge
of us:nice was necessary.
"My dear," said 1,Warise, and see me
cook. It will do you good."
She allowed an eye to be visible, and
there was an incredulous look in it.
"Can you bake it turkey r she milled.
" People don't bake turkeys," seid I ;
"they roast 'em. I don't pretend to be a
epecialiet on the subject, bus I can cook in
a general sort of a way, and it's my opinion
Shat between ns we lean get up a dinner
such se Tom never saw before."
We went out into the kitchen and skirted
a fire. It was gettam, late and time was
precious, eo I sprinkled the fuel liberally
with kerosene oil, opened all the draughte,
and let her hum. Then we approached
the turkey.
" Mamie," said I, "this bird is all right
except late complexion. He hau it dark,
dissipated look which I don't like."
" because he hesen't been shaved."
Maud" The little feathere have to
be cut off dose to his ekin."
"Don's they burn Pena off? I've heard
heard about singeing fowl& Of course
they do. Jut life eff that stove lid and
we'il improve his pereonitl a,ppearance in a
ne.
hurry."
Mande lifted the lid, and a column of
flame rose half way up to the oeiling.
"You'll barn lam all up if you put him
in there,", cried Mande, end she hastily
replaced the oover.
"We never oan serve him up with those
whiskers on him," said I, looking ruefully
at the turkey. "1 guess we'll leave to come
back to your original suggestion and shave
While Mande preps:red some bread
crumbs for "raffling" I got bus my razor
and tried to sorepe the turkey into shape.
Bea be didn't take kiedly to a ory shave. I
had to lather him. I felt so touch like a
barber while I was mageged in this process,
and the poor turkey 'oohed eo humen and
wretched, that I got to talking to him. I
called him Julius Cesar ana asked him
his opinion on venous topics—the tariff,
the weather aod the condition of trade.
Afterward I inquired whether he would
have bay rum or -tonic" and then I geme
him a wet ehampoo in a large pan and
called "next " These trifling pleasantries
put Maude in good humor, and she said
that cooking was a good deal easier than
she had supposed.
We had it good deal of difficulty in stuff-
ing the turkey with the breed crumbs
Mande had prepared, but Julius Caesar was
finally ready to be roasted. The stove,
while we were busy with the preperations,
had become red ha, but by holding the
blower from the parlor in front of me like
an old Roman thield, X managed to get
the bird into the oven.
After a sybile we inspected Jaime A
great and alarming change had come over
bine He did not appear to be burned,
but he bad swelled to the size of an ostrich.
Ilie skin WAS as tight as the head of a
drum, and it had stretched till it Was
transparent. He was Imola a fearful look-
ing object that Mande ran away to weep,
but tbe sense of a deep responsibility would
not permit me to desert my poet. I
eeteoted a long fork, and approached the
Oven.,
"
Julius," said I, stabbing hirn with the
fork, what makes you act Mete way."
Julies replied with a lone, pleitative
whistle, after whiola be resurnecr bie natured
form or' thereabouts. I decided that hie
midden fellation had been due to steam
from the moist bread.crumbe. 1 told
Maude that the danger of an e4p1osion was
over'and she consented to return. Tegoeher
we Watobed and teuded Menus with effete.
tionete care during the next two houre,
and at the end of that time he was no mean
bird. We had discovered the mysteries of
"basting," and Maude had concocted a
gravy, We bad baked eweet-potatoeu, ,
maobinemnade enince plea from the grooery
store, awl oefe noir of my own prepare,.
tiou, which was as much blacker than.,
ordinary black coffee au a negro is darker
than it white man.
But Tom didn't come, and I was greatly
disappointed. I wanted to point to that
turkey with pride and say that my wife
cooked it. Then if Tom noticed anythitg .
funny . about the turkey he wouldn't
blame me.
We had to eat it all alone. We only
made a good beginning at dinner, and we
dined so late, after waiting for Tom, that
we hadn't much appetite for tamper.
For breakfast we hadn't moth appetite,
either—that is, not for turkey. I have
a secret euspioion that Mande launched
off something elee, for Julius showed no
aigna of diminution when I returned for
dinner.
Alaude had tried vainly to get another •
servant during tiae day, but she had failed
and so, to save her the trouble of cooking
anything we had Maine for breakfast. I
did not eat heartily, and neither did Meade.
When I left the house I advised her to .
take a good equare lunch, find I remarked,
by way of inducement, that the wee
looking a little thin. The ghost of Maim
haunted me during the day. I hed mildly
suggested to Maude that we might have
something else for dinner, but ehe said it
would be wasteful. I took occasion to
invite several friends home to dinner, but
they all had engagments. Then I medi-
tated eending it telegram to Maude that I
was detained down town, but that was too
mean. I could not leave her to faoe Julius
alone.
Maude had endeavored to disguise Julius •
in a stew, but I recognized him at dinner,
and my appetite fled.
" Mande," said 1, "don't yon think our
poor old washerwoman would like the rest
of this stew 2 "
" No use, Howdy," said Mande, "this is •
only just part of him."
For Ave days nobody came to help we
out; but at Met my sister-in-law, hearing
that Mande was without ie servant, came
around to see us. She Agreed to cook the
dinner, and when I took my place at the
table, behold,there were the bones of Julius..
in a soup. Maud took one look at him and
left the table.
" Jennie," said I, to my sister-in-law,
"is all the turkey in the soup ? "
" Why, yes, B.oward, I believe so," she ,
said surprised.
I lifted the tureen from the table and
poured the contentsout of the baok window.
it struck on the janitor's head, but I paid
him for a hat and e. vest and an injured
dignity without a murmur, for the ghost
of Julius was Mid at last.
Au Amateur at Market.
In a close fitting tealormaade dress and a
light colored cape of Persian lamb she • .
appeored before the stallkeepers at Wash •
ington Market. She carried a Russia-.
leather note book with a gold pencil and the
most artistic little willow basket imagin.
able. " Oh, the dear little piggies," she
exclaimed, walking up to where a number -
of pigs were incarcerated. "How much are
they a pair?"
"Eight and a half, mum," said the
butober.
"Isn't that pretty dear ?" she asked,
timidly. "1 guess I'll take some oysters
'instead," the said, walking over to where
the men were busy opening the emblems of
silence. "1 want some oysters Sent up
escalloped oysters," she said, "with plenty
of raisins in them."
" Oh, those lovely purple pumpkins," she
said, walking over to a sweet where a lot of
Edam cheese was displayed.
"I'll take four of these. I know it's
plebeian, but Reginald does like pumpkin
piee "
"Are all hams yellow like these 2a 'she
asked, pointing to it counter full. "No,
miss; that's only the cover," seat the man
in charge.
"Those lovely pink onions will just'
match my china. How do you sell them a
dozen 7"
" Seventy.fivii cents a buthel," said the -
huckster. "Send me up two bushels," she
said.—New York Tintes.
ohristmas in a Lighthouse.
Have you ever thought what it muse be
to spend a Christmas Day in a lighthouse V
For fifty years my Christmases have been
there. To you landsmen and women, a
snowy Christmas generally means that the
day is complete ; but to the lighthouae
keeper it is too often ushered in by a north-
east gale. As far as the eye cen reach
under the light, I see nothing but the fest.
driving flakes, while the sea dashes white .
on the rooks and is a visitor at my win.
down, knocking noisily every few minutes.
The wind sbrieks through this old haute,
rushes through the lantern with it melee
like the shriel whistle of a steamboat fore-
telling danger, and even round the doors
there is a chorus as if an array of fiende
were attacking us. But with all this
against us in the elemente'in my girlieh
days we had many jolly Christmases, for -
we were a large family of boy e and girls,
and liked, just as I do to -day, the pleasant -
giving and receiving of gifts, which marks -
the birthday of Christ. Now, with only
my brother Rudolph left, we make the day...
as jovial aa eau be, and my dinner with its
turkey and " fixings " of celery and cran-
berry sauce, its mince -pies and plum-
pfiddine, I should like to ebare with you-
all.—Ida Lewis, in the Christmas Ladies'
Home Journal.
The limg.
Jack Deropsey, next to Sullivan. hese
been the pugilistic marvel of the age. Never
but once in his miner as a fighter has he
been beaten, and then by what is termede
a chance anooleciat blow. There is an im.
premien in memo gneaters that Denapeey is
abont to meet his Waterloo. On January
14th, at New Orleans, he will battle with
Fitzsimmons, the long -armed Australian
middle -weight who bas created havoc with.
the fighters since he landed in America.
mite Man He Wanted,
Munsey's Weekly: Applicant (to proprie.
tor of great newspaper): Have you II
vacancy on your staff, eir ?
Proprietor—I need a circulation affidavit
editor, but I don't know that you would
suit.
"1 think I would, sir. I have been a
magus enumerator at Minneapolis."
"The place is yours."
Scaers,ah Bernherdt is svriting her reininis
000 .
Thonaaa Q. Beabrooke will next season
star in a comedy written hy Bill Nye.
Ada Behan has purchased a residence ix
New York for $21,500. She is now hating
it decoreted.
• The heart of a student at the Univere
pity of Kharkov it on hie right aide, ilia
liver on his left and IliS spleen on his right.
His right lung is longer ban his Wt.