The Exeter Advocate, 1890-11-27, Page 2Grandpa as tt Masher.
Chicago Herald
eran'pa's locks aro white as enow,
'Those hp still pass@*nes,
_Those
of curls of long ago,
Wraiths of boyhood's tresses.
Wrinkles o'or iiia features thin
'Zigzag without pity,
Like the streets and alloys in
Famous Boston City.
Mime has bent his form with years,
Arid his legs aro thinner
And less comely than the shears
lY ed by any tinuer,
Lusty was he once and gay,
Full of manhood's graces,
But of that lona vanished day
There are now few traces.
'yet he in hie youthful pride
]Pleased the fair sex greatly ;
Many lassies for him sighod,
Many ladies stately.
Hearts once throbbed and ached for him,
Tears wet silken lashes,
But those eyes in death are dim
And those hearts are ashes.
efran'pa has one sweetheart yet,
Daintiest of creatures,
Whose two eyes of deepest jet
1iti11 approve his features.
Nellie is her name, you see,
And if I remember
What her age is, she was three
Some time last December I
elft her hand, so chubby fair,
O'er his fade she passes
r.1'enderly, and with great Dare
Not to touch lith glasses.
Oft his form I've seen her scan
And I've caught her saying:
" Gran'pa's such a handsome man "—
Thus her love betraying.
Faces and Faces.
Chicago Post :
What a study are the faces
One may see in busy places,
1?onae are lite a gleam of sunshine, others like a
cloud of Dare.
Some are filled with joy and gladness,
Others wear a shade of sadness:
Pretty photographs of pleasure, ragged etchings
of despair.
This is sweet as budding roses.
That a withered hope discloses,
Wlio can guess why some are sunny while the
others are forlorn ?
Who can toll if an expression
Sad and deep is a confession
Of a broken heart, or piety, or just a painful
corn 2
The Political Procesh.
Washington Post :
A long and oft -repeated yell,
Some torches all in line ;
Some speakers who have paused to tell
Of prospects wondrous fine.
Sumo red are making things look gay—
The glee club's glad retrain,
And then we may take breath and say
" The country's safe again."
A Very Odd Girl.
In school she re.nke above her matoe,
And wipe the highest prizes;
She bounds correctly all the States,
And tells what each one's size is ;
Li class she will not prompt a friend,
For she doesn't believe in telling ;
She heeds the rules from end to end,
And never fails in spelling.
" She's just as odd as add can be I'
Say all the school of Esther Lee.
She keeps her room as neat as wax,
And laughs at Peter's mockings ;
She mends Prisoilla's gloves and sacques,
And darns the family stockings;
She dusts the sitting -room for Kate,
She cares for baby brother;
She fashions balls and kites for Nate,
And runs for tired mother,
" She's just as odd as odd can be ! "
Say all at home of Esther Lee.
For little crippled Mary Bette
She saves her brightest pennies;
She never, never Bulks or freta
If she doesn't win at tennis;
With happy words she is sure to greet
Children in lowly byways;
Sheuides unsteadyaged feet
g•
Across the bustling highways.
"She's just as odd as odd can be 1 "
Say all the town of Esther Leo.
—Chicago Inter -Ocean.
A Game and Fish Commission.
In pursuance of the recommendation of
a Select Committee of the Legislature ap•
pointed last session for the purpose of
considering certain proposed amendments
to the game laws, and in deference to eng.
gestione from varione quarters palling for
a more effectual proteotiou of fish, the On-
tario Government has just issued a royal
commiesion to inquire into and report upon
the whole anbject in so far as this Province
is concerned. The oommissien is directed
to Richard Allen Lucas, merchant, Hamil-
ton ; Robert G. Harvey, railway manager,
Brookville; John H. Willmott, Beaumarie,
in the district of Muskoka ; G. A. McCal-
lum, M. D., Dannviile; Walter L Pulford,
carriage mennfaoturer, Leamington ; John
Mitchell, accountant, Guelph; Alex. H.
Taylor, Ottawa, and A. D. Stewart, agent,
Hamilton. Dr. McOsJlam has been ap-
ptointed chairman and Mr. Stewart secre-
tary of the commission. They are instructed
to consider the advisability of dividing the
Province into districts for fish and game
protection purposes, and to report what, in
their opinion, would in such ease be the
proper close season for eaoh district. In
the event of a district system not being
thought advisable, the commiseioners are
to suggest such ohanges, if any, in the
present close Beeeons as are necessary or
advisable, making special reference to the
spring shooting of game or any class or
classes thereof. They are also to ascertain
how far deer are in danger of extermination
under existing laws, and to report the
approximate number still remaining and
where found in the Province, with such
suggestions of a practical nature as may be
thought advisable, having regard to the
more effective protection of that game. In
their report reference will be made to each
game laws of the neighboring States as have
a bearing on the interests of game or fish
protection in this Province.
There Was heavy Hitting.
Tuffer—How was the
a good show ?
Slugger—First rate.
Taffar—Any rnerked
entertainment ?
Slugger—You'd say so
the fellowe that got bit.
boxing exhibition,
the
if yon saw some of
features
in
Why he Secured Her.
Brooklyn Life : Briggs—Have you heard
the latest? Robinson has eloped with a
chambermaid.
Griggs—Heavens ! What made him do
that.
Briggs—I understand she brought him
an extra towel when he asked for it.
Tun New York World offered a twenty
dollar gold piece for the best answer to the
question how mnoh older a husband should
be than his wife. Ont of many hundreds,
the following won the prize:
There can bo no definite o.nswer. Some m"n
ago quicker than some women. and vino versa
Cnetom and popular prejudice say tho wife
should be the younger, but the majority of , ar-
riagoe show that custom and popular prejudice
are poor guidon,
Temperament, intellect and character aro
the rulingyfuton of wedded life; compatibility
in thee° make marriage a suecese, the waist a
failure Extremes avoided, similarity or differ-
ehas little 1 to do with a successful
"ST CENTURY RY IiO V + RS "
�
.A Tale of the American
Revolution.
That portion of the State of Maryland
embraced in the peninsula which separates
the waters of elhesapeake and Delaware
Bays, and which is known ae the Eastern
S)lore, has shared the usual fate of slave.
holdiug oommunities sinoe the emancipa-
tion.
Many parts of the low, flat oountry lie
antilled in the present labor difficulties for
lank of farm hauds, the negroes, se in many
parte of the South, having flocked to the
neighboring cities. Numbers of the pro-
prietors, the old families, have left their
impoverished plantations to be cultivated
on shares by tenwnte of the overseer or
poorer white claw.
Stately homesteads, dating from colonial
times, aro found here and there, deserted
and dismantled, sad reminders of days of
past prosperity, when these isolated and
now obscure oonntiee were noted for an
elegant and hospitable society.
In Qaeen Anne County, at the mouth of
the Cheater River, stands an old, square
brick house, high above the shelving shore,
down to which elopee what was once a ter-
raced garden. From here, looking west-
ward, past two cepee of meadow -land, jot-
ting on either side where the salt water
tide curls over the placid shallows, the water
atretohes out and meets the blank horizon,
relieved sometimes by a far-off sail or a
faint °load of smoke from a passing
steamer. Deserted by its present owners,
untenanted, its brinks discolored with
time, the house overlooks the monotonous
fields, to which it has become merely a
useless appendage.
In the large oaks before the eastern
front, crows have nested, rising in flooke
above the gable roof, mingling their harsh
caws with the scream of an errant seagull.
The woodwork of the porch has rotted into
gaps, where toads and anaile abide ; the
ehuttere have fallen, and blank windows
yawn like eyeless sockets.
The upper terraoe is stiff with un-
trimmed and straggling box -bushes bor-
dering the walks, grown up with weeds,
and blurred into an indistinguishable mase
of decay. Above the tope of the other trees,
a tall Lombardy poplar reaches its dead
branches upward, standing sentinel
through all the ohanging seasons. Spring
rains beat upon the yellow weed -stalks,
summer suns caress the roses that bloom
unseen in the rank greenness, and ripen
the apples in the orchard, and in winter
the winds wail around the dead home.
To the left, shut in by a crumbling brick
wall overgrown with the periwinkle,
is the family burying ground,
in which no one now is inter-
ested save an old woman, who comes
once a year to visit the grave of a baby
buried fifty years ago.
The graves are hidden by a network of
vines ; but in one corner, side by side, are
portions of two marble slabs, eaoh broken,
and connected by e, crose.piece, running
from one to the other. On this orose•pieoe,
with some difficulty, the following inscrip-
tions are deciphered
"TaoMAs WEITENFAT,L B0zn9R,
Died, aged 21 . . . 177—.
"ELIZABETH VAUGHAN,
Died, aged 19 . . . 17—.
"In their deatne they were not divided."
A hundred years ago, then, two lovers
walked through this garden. The roses
bloomed then as now ; the same sun shone
on them over a hundred years ago as it
shines on ne now, end will shine, God help
ne ! when we in oar tarn shall have be-
come mere conjectures—names halt effaced
from broken slabs.
Let ne pick up that slide of Time°s
magic lantern which goes by the name of
the eighteen oentury, and live for a while in
the days of Docked hats, powdered hair,
and sedan chairs, keys of incipient re-
volution, pregnant with Declaration of
Independence, when the colonists, pro-
testing against the unjust taxed imposed by
a good, etnpid Garman King and a body of
short•eighed legislators in knee•breeohee,
were in the throes of impending conflict.
CHAPTER I.
Late one evening in the early part of
November, 1774, the road between the
corner of the Vaughan meadow end the
lights of the little village of Kingston
stretched out bare and lonely amid the
daeky setting of the fields, before the swift
steps of a girl hurrying through the pool
twilight, and facing the west. The curtain
of gray clouds, torn just above the horizon,
showed the crimson afterglow of sunset,
against which stood in silhouette the roof
and chimneys of a large mansion.
A chill wind blew from the marshes,
flapping her mantle about her and tangling
her heir ecrops her face. To Elizabeth
Vaughan, walking rapidly toward the
lonely house, it seemed some old, haunted
eagle of romance, to which her dog, an
evil, dark familiar, disappearing now and
then in the bnahes, was luring her.
Entering the gate, the night deepened
under two rows of mulberry trees arching
above the carriage -way. At home here,
she relaxed her pace with a feeling of
security.
Dry leaves rustled under foot. Above,
the clear sky bone through a lattice -work
of naked branches, to which a few sear
leaves shiveringly clung Before her was
the front of a equare brink house, from
which a glow of warmth was diffuesed
through red curtains in two windows on the
ground floor. Here she paused and drew a
long breath, with face uplifted to the stare,
drinking in the peaceful darkness end
silence, unbroken save by the irregular
tinkle of a cow -bell and the twitter of birds
in the ivy covering the front of the house.
The garden gate clicked behind her, and a
figure Dame alowly across the lawn toward
the right, where the barn and negro gnartere
were massed in shadow. Suddenly the
figure paused. and she heard a low, agitated
whisper : " Who's dat ? "
" Well, Uncle Mose, is that you 2 "
" Oh, Miss Betty, yer gimme a big scare.
Leastwise, fur a minute I 'spioioned it
might be a sperrit, far the Soriptar' is dat
Satan goes about like a roarin' lion, eeekin'
fur ter devour."
" But you didn't hear, any roar."
" Dat'e de traf, date de truf, honey, I
didn't hear de roar, but a man ain't argyin'
wid hiase'f when he's skeered. 'Tain't often
I does forgit ter argufy ; far w'at ; eez de
Soriptur ? Man hes got ter livo by reason
an' de law. Chile, dere ain't a day er a
hour dat I ain't watchin' fur de debil."
" Have you ever seen him, uncle ?
" Honey, I hen twitched an' seen him dis
day, fur of he ain't poesessin' dat ole black
Oharlotte, I ain't got no right ter exhort
preaoh."
A tap on the window palled her attention.
ne of the onrtaine were lifted and Aunt
srhard appeared, beckoning her to enter.
. e hurried toward the house, calling ant,
Good -night, Uncle Mose."
Deprived of the pleasure of doeoribingthe
attire of the wheeler "sperrit " possee l-
g hie better hall, whether it was the
role -fiend himself or only a wandering,
• significant " supe," Unole Mose mumbled
something, probable an exorcism, and
shuffled off dieoonsolately *toms the grass.
As Betty entered the dining -room, Mies
Bab threw up her hands,
"Goodness graoioue, hllizebethVeughan I"
she pried, " the idea of your standing there
in the night air 1 Do you wish to die of
rheum ? "
" Do I look like the victim of an untimely
gray° ? " laughed Betty, throwing off her
mantle and large hat, and displaying her
slender figure, that was graoefal even under
the ungraoeful negligee, a loose sacque over
a fall petticoat. A mass of waving red.
brown hair was drawn back from the oval
fade, which had irregular, expressive feat-
nrea, and a clear complexion, eligbtly
freckled. Her greatest beauty was her
eyes, large and or a changing gray, fringed
with blaok lashed. The red lips were sense,
tive and variable, and her smiling, furtive
dimples and white teeth belied her grave
and dreamy eyes.
" Do I look like dying yet ? " she aeked.
" Mercy 1 child, looks don't count. I'll
bring you a draught of Jesnit'e bark after
you get to bed, and yon may escape."
Mies Babb's plain face, patient and
marked by those lines which sickness and
sorrow stamp upon the countenances of
many middle-aged women, labored under
some unwonted exoitement ; so Betty re.
trained from questions, knowing that the
secret would give additional pleasure to
her aunt by being thus (suppressed.
The room was cheerful, with a blazing
fire of loge in the wide fireplace. A
branched candlestick ehone on the polished
surface of the long mahogany table, which
was set for supper, and bright with china
and silver.
A secretary with brass handles, a sofa,
and a few straight.baoked chairs oovered
with hair -cloth, stood against the wall,
panelled with cedar half way to the oeiling.
Above the wainsooting hung three por-
traits in gilt frames — Captain Robert
Vaughan, the first settler, painted by Lely,
in peruke ; Betty's father, a stout, dark -
eyed gentleman in purple -velvet frock and
white brocade waistcoat, o atentattouel
y
fingering his lace jabot, thereby displaying
a diamond ring ; and her mother, who had
been an Irish girl—a beautiful, bright face,
under the shadow of a large hat.
These two had died of yellow fever dar-
ing a visit to Philadelphia in 1765, leaving
Betty to the guardianship of her aunts.
" Well, did you hear no news in the
town 2" aeked Alien Bab, diplomatically, re-
suming the darning of a fine white atooking
belonging toher sister, Miss Clementina,who
was much too absorbed in the charge of the
plantation and eaves to attend to more
homely and feminine pursuits. Betty
leaned against the mantel, sharing the rug
with Cassine, who sat on his haunches
blinking at the fire.
" Little Johnny Atkins walked half -way
home with me, and was sorry that I wee
not his school -teacher. I wish you could
have heard him talk, for he is the drollest
creature. He said, ' Ob, we had a splendid
time lath night 1' ' What could you do,' I
aeked, ' Sunday night ?' ' Why, thtanding
on our headth and turning thomerthets
and thuth like.' ' Who took part in the
gayetiea ?' . Oh, me 'and ma and pa, and
all the other children.' Mr. Tilghman'°
donkey brayed as he started to leave me,
and it frightened him so I had to go part of
the way book with him."
Betty's manner, daring this recital, was
full of quiet humor, characterizing the
drawling lisp of the village innocent, and
at its close she threw beak her head and
" the doughty
e olleotion of
h
laughed at the r a
youngster's error ; but Mies Bab's interest
was not np to the usual mark. She drew
the needle with an impatient movement
out of the stocking, nervously nodding her
head, with its cushion of sandy hair sur-
mounted by a mob Dap.
" Something has happened," she said, in
a mysterious whisper. " Guess what it ie."
" Let me etre. Yon have received a
secret cargo of tea, and are in danger of be-
ing tarred and feathered ? No ? Well,
the speckled hen has begun to lay.
No ? Well, Aunt Clem has beoome
very modish and is going to give
a rout? She has patched up a
truce with ' that trumpery Bob Ranier,'
and concluded to allow his cows to pasture
in our meadow ? No ? Why, Aunt Bab,
you are as mysterious se Mr. Rozier when
anyone asks nim whether he is a Whig or
Tory : ' Neither, neither, my dear eir ; a
mere cipher ; only a simple country gentle.
man, absorbed in my pastoral pursuits and
my literary avocations.'"
" Well, my deer, Tom Rozier, has dome
home from Oxford on the brig Peggy Stew-
art, that reached Annapolis on the 14th of
October. Will Ringgold Dame on the same
vessel, and Tom got to Lord's Gift yester-
day.
" I' faith, we knew that all along ; didn't
we, Cass ? They told me at Mr. Atkins's
store. How did yon know 2 "
There was a sound of suppressed giggling
from behind the door.
"That snicker betrarys the culprit.
Come forth, Miss Anastasia Anderton."
She hurried to the door, standing ajar,
and threw it open, revealing a short,
middle-aged woman squeezed against the
wall. Her squat figure was clothed in
homespun, a white handkerchief was folded
tighly over her exuberant charms, and her
hair was piled high and powered.
" I wanted to Bee if you would faint with
joy at the news," said Miss Antaetaeia,
wreathing her round, grotesque face into a
smile, where the thin lipa spread upward
indefinitely, seemingly to meet the wrinkles
under the twinkling green eyes.
She was a daughter of the former phy.
sioian at Kingston, who had left her cottage
in the village, where she lived with a dog
and a small negro maid, retailing preserves
and oonntry gossip among the quality.
" But that isn't all," she said, coming
forth from her retreat ; " I've seen him 1 I
went over to Lord's Gift to take Mistress
Rozier the receipt for orange marmalade,
and they made me stay for dinner, and I
SW Tom. Snoh an engaging and hand.
some bean, my dear ; not like the thin
whipper -snapper he was when he went
away. And his manners—so insinneting—
in an elegant laced coat, and lovely,
straight limbs clad in silk hose 1 Not that
I admire those portions of the male sex, or
set any etore by his protestations of frienily
interest. ' Why, Miss Stacey,' he said,
yon haven't changed one bit since the time
wo need to phase your white oat over the
yard and pretend it was a polar bear.' ° I
got a lovely dog now, Tom,' said I. ' How's
my pretty little playmate, Betty Vaughan ?'
says he, smiling. ' Egad 1 she must be a
yonng lady now, and a beauty, I'll warrant.'
' That she is --
"Oh, Stacy, Stacy I" murmured Mims
Bab, trying to cheek the torrent of words,
don't set so mnoh store on pnluhritnde
and flatter the child's vanity. She's well
enough, but ' beauty is as beauty does.'
I'm sere, Betty, you've got more freckles
to -day without your veil."
" Oh, Bab, you're snoh a dear old goose,"
cried Betty. " Proceed, dear Anastasia,
with your interesting narrative, and I'll
give you my green ribbons for being the
most absolute cozener in the province.''
" Well, my dear, he talked so elegantly
and engagingly ; °did he had 00en very
little of Will Ringgold at college, as they
had gone with different sate, and Will has
been to France. I'm afraid Tom's a rattling
blade, and Will always was that sneaky
and womanish that they didn't get on to-
gether. He asked after all the neighbor-
hood, and said he would have a ohaneo to
meet it soon, as they are going to give a
rout Thursday night ; and as I was Doming
over here,etfistreas Rosier aeked Pao to de-
liver the invitation.'
"Rosily ?" asked Betty, opening her
oyes and flashing with interest. "Willi
go, Bab ? Did you ask Aunt Clem? "
"'Tie going to be truly grand ; besides Jake
and Sam, the negro fiddlers, there are two
men conning from Annapolis to play the
horn, and a real hairdresser will be over
Mr. Fiddleman's store to dress ladies' and
gentletnen'e hair in the latest mode "
" Of course Aunt Clam will let me go ;
won't she, Bab ? What will I wear 2
"' And what do you think the bride was dressed
n?
Aha
And what do you think the bride was dressed
in?
A grass -green frook arida new gold breastpin,
Aha!'"
she sang, lifting her frook and dancing
along the floor. " Just see me take my
steps for the minuet."
" Child, child," said Miss Bab, " you've
got to get old too: Ask Clementine if you
Dan go when alis Domes in, it she is in a
pleasing frame of mind."
(To be Continued
Some -Returning Chinamen.
Forward, between decks, are more than
a hundred Chinese steerage passengers,—
mostly reposing in their rude wooden
bunks, since it is too cold and rough upon
deck for them. Some chat, some sleep,
many smoking opium ;—a few are gamb-
ling. At a low table covered with a bam-
boo mat, the game of fain -tan is being
played by the light of three candles. A
silent ring of watchers and wagerers
presses closely about the table;—from sur.
rounding bunks, others look down; and the
yellow Dandle glare, coloring all these ire.
passive faces, makes their Cleoid reee•smile
seem as the smiling of gilded idols in some
pagoda.
m stations
y
Deep in the hold below, sixty square
boxes are,—mnoh resembling toa•oheete,—
covered with Chines lettering. Each
contains the bones of a dead man—
bones being sent back to melt into that
Chinese soil from whence, by nature's
vital chemistry, they were shapen. And
those whoee labelled bones are rolling to
and fro in the dark below, BB the plunging
steamer rooks and shuddere, once also
passed this ocean on just such a ship—and
smoked or dreamed their time away in just
such berths—and played the same strange
play by such a yellow light in even just snoh
an atmosphere, heavy with vaporized
opium.
Very silent the piaying is Soaroely a
word is uttered despite of losses or gains.
From the deck overhead, an odd chant
echoes loudly down—the chant of the
Chinese Drew. First one utters a snarling
sharp cry, like a oat's ory of anger—Yow•
yee l Then all the others shrill together
Yo wo 1—as they pull at the ropes.
" Joss paper" has been strewn about—
doubtless to propitiate the gode of that
most eastern East to which we westwardly
sail. Perhaps those ancient gods will
hearken to the prayers of their patient
worshippers, and make smooth the menac-
ing face of this turbulent sea.—From " A
Winter Journey to Japan," by Lafcadio
Hearn, in " Herper's Magazine" for
November.
]Hiss slattern.
round the house in a
Thegirl who
g goes ton
soiled skirt and elouoh waist, elip•shod and
hair tumbled, need not expect to be the
darling of a man's heart for any length of
time. A corset is a neoeseity to a pillow.
figured woman and a blessing to the one
who loses plumb without a reed. Cottons
and wash fabrioa may be bought for a few
cents a yard, half a dollar will pay for a
dress pattern, and the woman who cannot
fashion a pilgrim skirt and Bailor blouse in
a couple of days ought to attend an
industrial eohool for a week. Two or three
dimes invested in ribbons and colored
cambric will brighten the Dollar, Duffs and
belt, and the wife, sister or niece who
oennot look fresh, sweet and pretty in it
deserves the neglect she wilt get. Men
love white gowns, bine ribbons and flutter•
ing lace. With muslin a dime a yard
and pink, blue, cream and crimson ribbon a
dollar a holt, why can't the fancy be
humored? Brace np, Miss Sletternl
Take a reef in at the belt line, keep your
hair dressed, your shore laded, your skirts
polled back, and let the rose be your model
of sweetness and simplicity.
Coronets of Nobility.
French counts have nine equal pearls in
their ooronets.
The British baron is entitled to a coronet
of four big pearls.
The English viscount has
seven pearls of equal size.
The earl's coronet shows five email pearls
and four strawberry leaves.
The English marquis is entitled to three
strawberry leaves and two pearls.
French margnisee bear three strawberry
leaves and two clusters of three small
pearls.
French viscounts are entitled to a coronet
oontaining three large pearls and two
smaller ones.
French barons are not entitled to a
coronet, but to what is called a tortil, a
circle of gold having a neoklace of tiny
pearls turned three times around it.
The German prince's coronet is very
peculiar withite graceful curves of pearls,
its ermine circlet and the globe and erose,
indicative of an imperial grant.
is coronet of
An Awkward Change of Vowels.
The change of one little letter of the
alphabet in even a short word has caused
many a ludicrous and awkward mistake.
Here is a case in point in the ehape of a
story about a curate, a rentor, and a tele-
graphic clerk. The curate had come np to
town on a short holiday from a country
parish, when, on the last day of hie leave
of absence, he was invited by a clerical
friend to accompany him to the Church
Congress, whioh wee to open on the next
day. He telegraphed to his rector ! " I
should like to attend the Congress if yon
can spare mo a few days longer. Kindly
wire whether you wish me to return to
Little Peplington to morrow, or to go on
to Hull." The rentor, who is a man of few
words, promptly wired in reply, " Go to
Hull," But, whether through the carelees.
nese or the profanity of the telegraphist,
the " u" wee transformed to " e " in the
message.
Justice Duffy to Now York saloon -keeper
violating the tianday law : "Every saloon•
keeper' for the past fifteen years who has
been arrested and brought to the Eseex
Police Court has said that he was only
cleaning np. I'm tired of it. Why don't
you invent a new exonse ? Say that you
came down to feed the canary; that your
old tom oat was having a fit behind the
bar ; that there were rate in your bottloa ;
that the water was leaking ; that the gas
was escaping—anything but cleaning up.
Now yon are discharged."
--Be—Why did your pastor object to
your going id the ball game ? She—He
said the umpire weenie a Christian.
A. DOUTOIVel VOr 1l'ESS1ON.
Ile Weisel Take Much leediefne aid
Advises the ltoporter Not To,
Humbug ? Of course it is. The 00 -
celled voience of medioine is a humbug and
has been from the time of Hippooratcs to
the present. Why the biggest crank in the
Indian tribes is the medicine man."
" Very frank was the admission, espeoi-
allyso when it game from one of the big-
gest young physicians of the oity, one
whose practice is among the thousands,
though he has been graduated bat a few
years," says the Buffalo Courier. " Very
cozy was his offioo too, with its cheerful
grate fire, its Queen Anne furniture, and
its many lounges and easy-ehaire. Ile
stirred the fire lazily, lighted a fresh cigar,
and went on."
" Take the prescriptions laid down in
the books and what do you find ? Poisons
mainly, and nauseating stuffs that would
snake a healthy man an invalid. Why in
the world science should go to poieone for
its remedies I cannot tell, nor can I find
any one who can."
' How does to doctor know the effect of his
medicine 2" he asked. " He calla, prescribes,
and goes away. The only way to judge
would be to stand over the bed and watch
the patient. This cannot be done. So,
really, I don't know how he is to tell what
good or hurt ho does. Some time ago, you
remember, the Boston Globe sent out a
reporter with a stated sot of symptoms.
He went to eleven prominent phyeioians
and brought back eleven different prescrip-
tions. This just shows how much science
there is in medicine."
There are local diseases of various
oheraotors forwhioh nature provides poei-
tive remedies. They may not be included
in the regular physioian'a list, perhaps, be•
Dense of their simplicity, but the evidence
of their curative power is beyond dispute.
Kidney dieeae°is cured by Warner's Sale
Cure, a strip*ly herbal remedy. Thousands
of persona, every year write as does H. J.
Gardner, of Pontiac, R. I., August 7th,
1890 :
" A few years ago I suffered more than
probably will ever be known ontaide of
myself, with kidney and liver oampleint.
It is the old story—I visited doctor after
doctor, but to no avail. I wee at Newport,
and Dr. Blackman reoommended Warner's
Safe Cure. I commenced the use of it,
and found relief immediately. .Altogether
I took three bottles, and I truthfully state
that it cured me."
Carious Condensations.
The Michigan University has twenty-five
Japanese students this year.
A Wisconsin peaking company has paid
out $26,500 for cucumbers this fall.
Over 6,000 men in the United States
struck during the month of September
There are thirty-one millionaires in
Denver, and thirty-five men worth, on the
average, e500,000 eaoh.
The submarine telegraph system of the
world coneiete of 120,070 nautical miles of
cable.
A western cowboy committed suicide
because a 13.yearold girl refused to marry
him.
A Georgia man has raised a Mexican
cucumber weighing 35 pounds. It resem•
bled a green citron.
The name of Wayne is the title or part
of the title of more places in the United
States than any other.
At Holy 1dogfell into a
Springs, rine Ga.,a
p
there fourteen da
well and stayed e s before f r y
hie owner found him. He was taken out
and is doing well.
A Michigan country farm, which ex-
ported 20,000 barrels of apples last year,
did not produce enough for home consump-
tion this season.
The sixteenth ohild of a Wisconsin
couple arrived the other day and prepare -
tions were immediately began for the re•
oeption of the seventeenth.
A Michigan hunter attempted to nee hie
gun for a cane. He will neither hunt nor
walk for some time to oomo, although the
doctors expect to save his life.
Two centenarians have died in Barry
county, Miobigan, since the oenens man
started on hie rounds, but Miss Anna
Demnund, 102 years old, and the oldest of
the lot, still lives.
One of the sights near Nebraska City is
a massive stone temple built by the mor -
mons in honor of Joseph Smith after their
expulsion from Nauvoo. It was also used
as a fort.
Social Laws for Girls.
Yon think the laws of society are severe.
You do not believe that conventionality is a
great sword held up, not to strike yon, but
to protect you, and you shrng your pretty
shoulders and say, " I know I was doing
nothing wrong, and I don't care whet
people say." Now, my dear, you meat Dare
whet people say; the world is a great judg-
ment court, and usually the innocent and
the ignorant are protected by it, though
000asionally, some one falling into the mire
of scandal sad goeeip, is brought into the
court all bedraggled and disfigured, and the
judge, not being able to Gee the virtue that
is underneath, decides against the victim,
and all because she did not care what the
world said. I wish you would think even of
the moat innocent things.
Sometimes I fear you think I am a little
bit severe, but I have known eo many girls
who ware so thoughtless, yet so good, and
who only found protection in the sword of
conventionality. It may hang over your
head, as did that of Damocles, but it is as a
warning. It will protect you from evil -
speaking, from the making of injudicious
friends, and it will insure you mnoh more
pleasure than if all the world ran heater.
skelter and became like a wild Irish feir
day.
Conventionality protects yon, as does the
best mother, frowning at and forbidding
not only that which is, but also that which
looks, wrong.—Ruth Ashmore, in Ladies'
Home Journal.
—Buffalo Bill is on his way home, hav-
ing sailed from Havre on Saturday. He
has made half a million dollars in Europe.
A WORD Or WARNING]
Young man, if you've two sweethearts, one of
whom you mean towed,
Oh! change your mind, we pray, and take the
other ono instead.
Wo toll you this in kindness, for your own eon-
tentment, brother,
For mind, if you wed ono of them, you'll wish
you'd wed the other.
Mayer, who took the part of Chrietus in
the "Passion Play " at Oberammergen,
received $200 for his share in the presen-
ation of the religions drama.
The Duchess of Fife is a fine butter
maker, and it has become the fashion of
young English ladies whose fathers own
farms to learn butter making and, if possi-
ble, obtain a prize at a county fair and eel'
the batter at, a very high price. Thefaahion
in America differs from thie in the import-
ant particular that the butter is sold for the
highest poesiblo prion, regardless of any
prize in the matter.
Penelope (who 'is reading aloud one of
Howells' novels) -This chapter is superb 1
Phyllis—Yes ; one almost expects the
characters to atop talking and do some-
thing."
—Doctors take but little physio.•
TUE PluSOI01JS 31XALVE.,
Half .a Dozen 19xoellent Ways toe Cooking"
and Serving Birn.
Oysters should be kept in a very gold
place before they aro opened, and should
be well washed before using. They should.
be opened on the deep ehell, so as to better.
preserve the liquor, then laid on finely
shopped ice. for a ehort time --too long
destroys their flavor. While they should,
be kept as cold as possible, says the New'
'Rork World, they should never be allowed
to freeze, therefore they mast only be
opened shortly before they are needed,
for once frozen they quickly turn:
sour. Tho proper way to open
them is to place the deep shell itt
the palm of the left hand and break then'
on one side. A stabbing knife is preferable.
for this, but if there be none bandy use et
small block that the oyster can fit into anal.
stab it on the edge ; or even a chopping
block and chopping -knife may be employed.
in case of neoesaity. Serve six oysters for
each person, nicely arranged on oyster'
plates, with quarters of lemon.
Oystersa la Alexandre Dumas—Place in
a sauce bowl a heaped teaspoonful of salt;,
three-fourths o! is teaspoonful of very finely
°rushed white pepper, one medium-sized,
fine, sound, well -peeled and very fine -
chopped shallop, one heaped teaspoonful of
very finely chopped chives, and half a tea-
spoonful of pareley,alao very finely chopped
up. Mix lightly together, then pour is a.
light teaspoonful of olive oil, air drops of
Tebasoo settee, one saltepoonful of Wor-
ceeterehire sauce, and lastly one smell gill
or five and a half teaspoonfuls of good,
vinegar. Mix it thorougbly with a spoon ;
send to the table, and with a teaspoon pour
a little of the sauce over each oyster met:
before eating.
Fried oy stare—Proonre twenty.four large,
freshly opened oysters, or thirty-six of
medium size, dip eaoh one separately in.
flour, then in beaten egg, and lastly in
powdered cracker dust. Fry in very hot-
fat for four minutes, drain well, and serve,
on a hot dish with ith a folded sprih
- -
klieg over a very little Balt and garnish' g''
with fried namely leaves.
Broiled Oyetere—Dip twenty-four large
and freshly opened oysters in half broad:
crumbs and half cracker dust. Flatten
them with the hand and broil them in a
well.greased broiler for two minutes on each
side, then salt them lightly and serve on.
six pieces of toast.
A Good Way to Serve Oysters—Placa
twenty-four freshly opened oyetera in a
stew•pan with their own juice. Season,
with a very little salt and one-half pinch of
pepper. Parboil for two minutes. Take
six skewers and pass them through the
oysters, separating eaoh one by a small:.
square of cooked bacon—that ie, alternat-
ing comb oyster with a piece of the baoon—
eprinkle with grated fresh bread °rumba
and broil for one and one-half minute on
each aide.
Oe eters Cooked With Spinach.—Chop an
onion very fine, place it in a etewpan with
one ounce of butter and let it get a good
golden color, then add a tablespoonful of
cooked, finely minded epinaoh, also a small
glassful of white wine. Have eighteen
medium-sized oysters, chopped exaeedinly
small, and seasoned with a pinch of salt
and the same of pepper ; place these in the
etewpan and let them cook for fifteen min-
utes, Pat in one egg, also a braised clove
of garlia, stir; then take cis large, clean
oyster shells, fill the bottoms with three
parboiled oysters, cover them with the
spineoh mixture end sprinkle with fresh
with the
Flatten the tops bread crumbs. F
P
blade of a knife, pour a very little clarified
butter over them and put them for three:
minutes in the oven. Serve on a fold
napkin, garnished with parsley leaves.
Hints for Homo Dressmakers.
Skirts of walking dresses are still cat
walking length, that is, just escaping the.
ground. Especially is this necessary for
the proper effect of the circle or habit,
skirt, which ie especially ungraceful
when olutohed in the back to raise it
from the sidewalk, or even when shortened.
by tapes. There are varione devices and.
arrangements of tapes for shortening,
the skirts of dresses intended for both
house and street wear, but the makeshift
is always evident, and betrays thenecesaity
for economy. A short skirt oan be worn
in the house with perfect propriety on
any occasion ; but a skirt resting upon or
even teething the ground is entirely out of
plane on the street, excepting in passing tot
or from a carriage ; hence those versed in
less convenancee, even though a longer
skirt may be more becoming, have their
walking oostumes made walking length.
With the clinging skirt, the perfect fit
of the foundation skirt is absolutely emu -
tial, and it requires as oareful fitting as the
waist. Always guard against having the'.
front drawn too closely, by holding it fnllin
mounting to the belt ; and try it sitting as
well as atanding before adding the drapery.
Fit over the hips by taking out small gores:
rather than by Iaying plaits, if a very
smooth fit bo necessary. A favorite finish
for the bottom of the skirt, instead of braid,
and much more durable, is a velvet.coverod.
cord or a narrow piping of velvet or
velveteen set in between the outside and
the inner facing. A good plan is to make
two slashes in the bottom of the front,
about two and a half inches deep, and
where the feet touch the skirt in walking.
This gives more ease, and the friction on.
the shoe is reduced. All bodices are oat to
give a slenderer, long -waisted effect, and to
this end side•form seams are straighter and
reaoh almost and sometimes quite to the
shoaldereeams. For the same purpose:
the bank seams of the side gores aro petted
as far back as the figure will allow, wh.oh
gives roundness to a flat figure, and mediae
the waist appear more slender. Shoulder
seams reach only to the tips of the:
shoulders, and are made to appear even
shorter by having the fullness of the sleeves
caught up over them. For street wear the
modestly high, straight standing Dollar is
worn, but modifications of the Medici
collar are more fashionable ; for house
dresses, collars more or lees flaring are
almost universal, although a high, straight
Dollar edged with a narrow puff of white or
a color is still considered stylieh. A frill.
of lace falling over the hand is a favorite
and very becoming finish for the bottom
of the sleeve for a house dress ; or the.
wrists and collar are finished with a vel-
vet -covered cord, or one of silver or gilt.
Demoreet.
Brioks impregnated with tar are said to
be hard, durable and perfectly. water -proof.
The proms of impregnation is' extremely
simple, ordinary bricks, or, still better,
machine brick being boiled in coal tar for'
twenty-four hours. Brinks thus treated
are claimed to bo especially well adapted
for paving work rooms, depots, eta. They
are also recommended for the construction
of sewers, nesepoole, the insulation of
foundation walla and similar purposes.—
Builders' Gazette.
When Mr. Blaine was asked what he
thought of the woman who mounted the
stump to make a political epseoli he said
" I bate that sort of a woman." Perhaps
that's the reason Mrs, Blaine is not more
Of a politioian'
—The saying that "figures cannot lie'"'
doesn't apply to feminine figures.
1