The Citizen, 2005-02-10, Page 45te&t laaed enes at uteddin^
The emotions surrounding a loss ol
a parent become even more apparent
at special occasion. Milestones like
graduations and birthdays can be
particularly difficult
Weddings can be bittersweet for
someone who has lost a parent, since
the involvement ol Mom and Dad is
so evident tn traditional wedding
customs
As such, the question arises on
how to honour a deceased loved one
on a day that is supposed to be
jovous There are mixed opinions on
the subject Some feel that it is
distasteful and can drastically
dampen the mood ot the wedding
Others feel that when done properly,
it can be a touching sentiment.
It you've made the choice to torge
Math dag with cieattoe memento
Many couples remember their
wedding day through photographs,
videos and a guest book The book
is placed near the door and guests
are encouraged to sign their names
and write a little message. But. tor
the creative couple you can express
vour individuality with clever ideas
(hat borrow tradition from the guest
book.
Here's a few ideas, courtesy ot
Easiest WeddingTM.
• Ask your friends and family to
sign a mat board that you will later
frame along with a photograph ot
yourself and your new husband. As
an unconventional form ol
remembering your guests, the
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ahead with some type of memorial at
your wedding, here are some key ups
to follow, compiled from various
wedding resources.
AT THE CEREMONY
Depending upon vour religious
affiliation or preference, it is often
customary for one or both ol the
parents to walk a bride down the
aisle Rely on someone to stand in for
a deceased parent, walk with a
surviving parent, or hold your head
up proud and walk alone Here are
some other pointers
* Wedding planners and experts in
bridal etiquette agree that (he names
ol deceased parents should never be
included on wedding invitations
* Mentioning the names of
deceased relatives at a ceremony may
signatures can be mounted in your
new home.
• In Asian cultures, wedding
guests sign a piece of silk with a
permanent marker. This. too. makes
an unforgettable decoration to hang
in your home.
• Have a special wedding quill
made that cun be signed on one side
during the reception.
• II vou or your husband-to-be are
sports enthusiasts, consider having
vour guests sign a basketball, golf
club bag. tennis skirt or shorts, or
running wear Let your imagination
run wild.
• Have a special 12-month
calendar made lor the year of your
be very emotional for guests and the
bride and groom Couples are often
urged against this lor that reason
* A llowcr arrangement dedicated
in honour of the couple is a tasteful
solution Other remembrance ideas
include a 'memory table" with
photos, or burning candles that
signify the relative's presence at the
event These symbolic gestures can
be noted in a wedding program and
may be better received than spoken
gestures
* A moment of silence or a prayer
dedication can also be touching,
without having to specifically
mention (he deceased's name.
AT THE RECEPTION
The reception signals the
beginning of a vour new life together
wedding Ask each family member
and friend to sign on the date ol
their birthday.
This not only is a memento
of your wedding. bul
you'll remember guests' birthdays,
too.
• A white linen tablecloth and
matching napkins can be signed
with an indelible marker. On each
occasion you set your table, you'll
have yoi|r wedding guests dining
with you.
If you're ambitious, later you can
embroider over the signatures, using
thread colours matching those ol
either your dining room or wedding
bouquet.
and a chance to let loose and
celebrate Why pul an unnecessary
shadow on the festivities'.’ Rather
than forgoing a traditional
mother/son. lalher/daughter dance,
ask for a special friend or other
relative to stand in
Choose a song that isn't overly
sentimental, hut expresses the mood
of the event.
Others often look al large events,
like weddings, as an opportunity to
stand up and make dedications and
speeches related lo the couple and the
day. Perhaps you've seen someone
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express birthday or anniversary
wishes to a fellow guest.
In that regard, others may want to
make dedications about the deceased
Speak to your DJ or hand leader in
advance about your preference to
avoid these situations. Also consult
with your videographer to edit out
any moments you don’t find to be in
the spirit of your wedding.
With delicate planning and
forethought, you can invoke (he
memory of lost loved ones on your
wedding day without compromising
the spirit of the occasion
Call
482. 7695
for reservations
Page 20. The Citizen. Weddings 2005