The Citizen, 2006-07-13, Page 5Oh.
THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, JULY 13, 2006. PAGE 5.
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The long and the short of it
When I was a kid, I was so short I had to
blow my nose through my fly.
— Rodney Dangeifield
Quiz time, kiddies. Guess what the
following five celebrities have in
common: Avril Lavigne. Yuri Gagarin.
Dudley Moore. Margaret Mead. Prince.
The answer is: the tippy-tops of their heads
are all precisely 157.48 centimetres from the
soles of their feet. They are all, as we used to
say, five feet, two inches tall.
(Okay, for Prince I stretched the truth. He's
really 'five feet, two and a half.)
Why the focus on altitudinally challenged
folk? Put it down to an article I read in the
paper recently. A judge in Lincoln. Nebraska
decided to give Richard Thompson, convicted
of sexual assault, a sentence of 10 'years
probation instead of 10 years in jail.
Why? Because the judge figured Thompson,
at 5-foot=I, was 'too short' to survive in a state
prison.
Many observers were outraged, but, as
secretary for the National Organization of
Short Statured Adults, Joe Mangano was
thrilled.
"I'm assuming a short inmate would have a
much more difficult time than a large inmate,"
said Mister Mangano (five-foot-four). "It's
good to see somebody looking out for
someone who is a short person."
I'm not convinced. Ft's my experience that
short people can more than take care of
themselves. Consider the relative, elevation of
some historical tough guys who would never
have made anybody's basketball team:
Soviet leader Nikita • Khrushchev: five-
foot-three. Marquis de Sade: five-foot-three.
George "Baby Face" Nelson: five-foot- ,
Abattle of giants is shaping up in a
riding in the 2007 Ontario election
that would be watched almost as much
as the results for the province. .
John Tory, who has held a small-town and
rural seat safe for his party since he was
chosen Progressive Conservative leader in
2004, has said he will run this time in Toronto,
where he was born, raised and worked.
Tory said he also wants to show his party
can win ridings in the province's biggest city,
where it failed to win even one in 2003. It
would have difficulty forming a government
without some base here.
Tory lives in Toronto Centre-Rosedale
riding and it is the obvious place for him to run
and its Liberal MPP, Health Minister George
Smitherman, has invited, challenged and
taunted him to run there.
Smitherman put out a news release saying
there are rumours Tory will run in his riding,
but he has refused to confirm them.
He said he is delighted and proud Tory lives
in his riding and would encourage him to run
where he lives and worked for many years as a
corporate chief executive officer.
Smitherman said MPPs should have strong
connections to those who elect them, another
way of insisting Tory run where he lives.
He added he and Tory come from very
different backgrounds and their parties have
different visions and he would welcome the
chance of having his riding judge them.
Tory has said he is excited about running in
Toronto because he knows and cares about the
city and wants to make it,stronger.
The Conservative leader would have
difficulty winning Toronto Centre-Rosedale.
The Rosedale part is home to many of the
super-rich, but the riding also contains many
low-income residents.
Smitherman won in 1999 and comfortably
four. Horatio Nelson: five-foot-five. Joseph
Stalin and Napoleon Bonaparte: five-foot-
six.
Lack of height has never been an
impediment for the saintly among us either.
Gandhi was but five-foot-three. Saint Francis
of Assisi was five-foot-one and Mother Teresa
scooted under the radar at four-foot-ten
Artists? Gustav Mahler was only five-foot-
four. Harry Houdini was barely five-foot-five —
as is Pamela Anderson (we're talking
vertically, remember). Michael J. Fox and
Pablo Picasso: five-foot-four. Bo Derek and
Judy Garland: five-foot-three.
As for Gloria Swanson, Toulouse-Lautrec
and Edith Piaf — none of them even broke the
five-foot barrier.
And the English poet Alexander Pope has to
be the patron saint of short creative people
everywhere. A literary giant who topped out at
four-foot-si x .
I have a soft spot in my heart for short
people because I used to be one. I was born the
runt of the litter and I remained a shrimp
among sharks right through my adolescence.
First guy to get towel-snapped in the locker
room; last guy to get picked for the baseball
team.
The year I turned 16, I went to sea and put
on 30 pounds of muscle and nearly a foot in
in 2003 with 52 per cent of the vote. He is a
hard worker who made his name as an
opposition backbencher by always being at the
legislature to answer reporters' questions, even
when it was not sitting, and a capable defender
of health policies, and is among a small group
of ministers Premier Dalton McGuinty
chooses to fill in for him when he is away.
He was the first openly gay MPP and has
strong support in his riding's gay community,
the. largest in the province, although it is
nowhere near numerous enough to win on its
own.
Smitherman has hinted at some criticisms he
will make. Tory has been wealthy from birth
and Smitherman made his own way, and Tory
was CEO of a huge cable TV company when
it fired hundreds of employees.
The two have not shown any love for each
other in the legislature. Smitherman once said
Tory thought he found a smoking gun, but shot
Letter
continued from page 4
they sold the building to the Christian
Reformed Church.
I hope the above clarifies things. Several
people have phoned regarding the July 6
article's errors.
Sincerely,
Janis (Morritt) Vodden.
height. I joined the ranks of the so-called
'normal', but I remember what, it was like
being a short guy.
Shortness can make or break you. It all
comes down to attitude.
There's a story about a woman who wakes
up to discover that every hair on her head has
dropped out but three.
"I think I'll wear a braid," she says.
The next morning she wakes up to discover
she has only two hairs on her head.
"I believe I'll part my hair right down the
middle," she says.
The third morning, there is only one hair on
her head.
"I'm going to try a ponytail," she says.
On the fourth day, she wakes up bald as a
cue ball.
And says, "Oh, goody! I don't have to fuss
with my hair!"
Shortness can be like that. There was once a
British philosopher by the name of Doctor
Richard Busby. He was five-foot-one.
One day in a coffee shop he was accosted by
a hulking Irish baronet who sneered, "May I
pass to my seat, 0 giant?"
"Certainly, 0 Pygmy," said Dr. Busby with a
smile.
The Irish baronet tried to apologize: "My
expression, ah, alluded to the size of your
intellect," he stammered.
• "And my expression to the size of yours,"
said the doctor.
I liked Fiorello La Guardia's style even
better. Someone once asked the famous New
York mayor how it felt to be the shortest man
in the room.
La Guardia beamed and said, "Like a dime
among pennies."
himself in the foot, and "does not even
understand the subject he has delved into."
Smitherman has referred to "John Tory
Esquire," an outdated term used to describe a
man of substance, and Tory shot back "I'd
rather be that than George Smitherman BS"
and the Speaker had to
have
them.
The Liberals also have also been quick to
point out Tory, who ran unsuccessfully for
mayor of Toronto in 2003 but won admiration,
demanded a new deal for the city, but voted
against Liberal legislation that gives it more
powers to steer development and impose taxes,
and will raise this in an election. Tory said it
focuses too much on new ways to extract
money from residents.
But Tory would look unsure of himself if he
did not run where he lives and the riding
earlier elected Conservatives for many years.
Tory also made many friends in his run for
mayor and raised money for recent gay pride
festivities and is articulate and personable.
If Tory ran and lost, his party would either
have to find him a safe seat again or start
another leadership race with no-one with his
promise in sight — it would be a huge setback.
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Goodbye friend
Loves music, loves to dance. It's this
phrase that comes to mind when/I think
of her. Which may at first seem a little
odd, because I never really heard her 'sing,
unless leading a rousing version of
Punchinello counts, and only saw her dance in
a 20-year-old video, or with a six-year-old.
No, the phrase comes to mind more because
of her personality, the feistiness,
determination, loyalty and vast capacity to
love and be loved that made her special.
Sarah Mann died this past week, and our
family lost a very dear friend.
I first met Sarah close to seven years ago.
She seemed then a bit shy, a little quiet. But
that smile, and those dimples, instantly drew
you to her.
Over the next few years, Sarah's parents
generously shared this beautiful young woman
With us and she became a part of our family.
And it didn't take long to learn that that smile
which had charmed me so early, came easily
and often.
Sarah was happiest with family and close
friends. She was devoted to those she loved
and cared deeply when she cared.
Fun was generally a priority too. She never
missed a concert, loved partying with friends,
and with her incredible imagination brought
magic to playtime for our grandson.
But there was another side to Sarah as well.
She took this world seriously. Injustice irked
her, and with a strong sense of what she
believed was right or wrong, she would never
hesitate to make her opinion known and fight
for it. From early on, she was interested in
current events, and I've never known another
teenager who read newspapers so voraciously.
It was not really surprising then, that she set
her sights on a career in journalism. I was
proud to have her working at The Citizen for a
summer.
And she was good. There was never a
question, and she usually had plenty, that was
too difficult to ask. She was interested in what
motivates people and in life happening around
her. She wrote well, and her interest in
photography was a bonus. I always believed
that with maturity and experience, Sarah had
the potential and talent to go anywhere in her
career.
Unfortunately, it was not meant to be. I
remember once thinking that if I was half as
beautiful inside and out as this young woman I
would be grateful. She had given so much and
I know still had so much to give. Yet, here we
are now, all of those who loved her, just trying
to figure out how we'll ever get on without her.
It won't be easy. There was a spark in Sarah
that's hard to explain to anyone who didn't
know her. But while that same spark makes
missing her so incredibly painful, it has also
left us with such good memories. The other
evening as I was talking to our grandson about
Sarah, I told him that when I think of her, I will
always remember her smile and her dimples.
For ,him it was the laughter. Which makes
sense, because I know that when she was with
him, she laughed a lot.
- And if I can make any promise to her now, it
is that we will make sure he never forgets it.
We will sing Punchinello and dance with him.
She was, after all, the best friend he could ever
have nad.
We'll miss you always, 'Dare-ah'.
Battle of the giants shapes up