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The Citizen, 2003-12-24, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 24, 2003. PAGE 5. Other Views Some facts about going to pot Did I ever tell you about the time I impersonated a cop? Relax, sergeant — it was several years ago, in another provincial jurisdiction. I lived in the sticks at the time, the hour hand had long passed midnight and some Party- Hearties in a house down the road were making noise. ‘Way too much noise. I took it for an hour and a half and then I called the cops. A bored dispatcher informed me that, as it was the weekend and due to budgetary cutbacks, no police were actually on duty, but an officer could be summoned from a nearby jurisdiction “in an extreme emergency”. I was younger then, with a shorter fuse and not nearly the level of urbanity and tolerance for which I am so justly renowned today. Accordingly, I slammed down the phone, said some bad words, then put on my police hat and loaded my police dog into my car. Together we drove down the road and fetched up in the driveway of the aforementioned party house. A word about my police hat. And my police dog: The hat was a nylon mesh cap I picked up after a charity softball game between a rural police detachment and the radio station I worked for. (Over a post-game beer, the cop who played shortstop informed me that he coveted my CBC ball cap. We swapped.) The crest on the front of my new cap read ONTARIO PROVINCIAL POLICE, SOUTH PORCUPINE. Not exactly a slogan calculated to strike fear in the heart of malfeasants, but a collectors item nonetheless. My ‘police’ dog Rufus was. in truth, a mangy border collie/indeterminate mix. but I hoped that in the dark and from a distance he Are families This is the time of year to think of families - so are some of them trying to take over our politics? Look at the McGuintys and Petersons. Dalton is Liberal premier, his father was an MPP. brother Brendan runs the mayor's office in Ottawa where they live, and another brother, David, appears keen to run in a federal riding, which is there being vacated by former finance minister John Manley, who has been given an appointment by Dalton that will help keep the wolf from his door. A rival in the riding who lacks such high- powered family connections has complained politics in Ottawa has reached saturation point with McGuintys and asked “Who do they think they are - the Kennedys?” But the McGuintys are way behind the family of former Liberal premier David Peterson, whose brother Jim has been named minister of international trade by new Prime Minister Paul Martin. Another of David’s brothers. Tim. and their sister-in-law, Debbie Matthews, won seats in the legislature in the October election, so there are almost enough Petersons to form their own party. Martin when taking over, dropped Jane Stewart from cabinet and it must have grieved her father. Robert Nixon, who led the Ontario Liberals in .three elections, is called the best premier the province never had and whose father. Harry Nixon, was premier. The Nixons were easier to kick around because Bob was for a longtime Jean Chretien’s most influential supporter in Ontario, which would not have endeared him to longtime rival Martin. Other ministers Martin let go included Elinor Caplan, whose son David is Arthur might pass for an Alsatian on duty. I hammered on the front door, which was ajar, walked in, and in my best Lome Greene voice of doom, boomed “WE’VE HAD SEVERAL COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE NOISE YOU PEOPLE ARE MAKING. IF YOU CAN’T TONE IT DOWN, I’M GONNA. HAVE TO LAY CHARGES.” What I did was totally illegal, not to mention surpassingly stupid, but it worked like a charm. Know why? Because it was a pot party, not a booze party. The place reeked of grass, and as I delivered my speech people all over the room were surreptitiously divesting themselves of baggies, stubbing out roaches and desperately trying not to exhale in my face. What’s more, they were all stoned. Instead of seeing me as the ridiculous impostor I clearly was. they figured the dope they were smoking was unusually excellent. Know what would have happened to me if that had been a booze party instead of a pot party? There’s a good chance I’d have been stomped into a carpet stain. And I’m not exaggerating. That very thing happened to a lawyer in Squamish. B.C. two summers ago. He went to a booze party at a neighbour’s house to ask them to pipe down. Two of the knuckle-dragging juiceheads in attendance kicked him to death on the spot. taking over our politics? Eric Dowd From Queen’s Park McGuinty’s minister of infrastructure. David took over Elinor’s seat in the legislature and was promoted just in time for them to be briefly ministers concurrently. Come to think of it, Martin’s father was a longtime federal minister and candidate for prime minister — these family connections go on forever. In the legislature a few nights ago, Laurie Scott, a Progressive Conservative who won a riding centred on Haliburton in October, pointed out in her maiden speech she comes from a political family and had a good teacher, ner father Bill, who represented the area federally for 28 years. She also praised her predecessor in the riding, Chris Hodgson, who not long ago was tipped as a possible successor to then Tory premier Mike Harris, but retired young to spend more time with his family. Hodgson had two uncles, Glen and Lou, who served as MPPs at the same time, the only brothers in memory to do so. A member of the Hodgson family by marriage. Richard Sutton, also was an MPP and Chris's grandfather. Clayton Hodgson, was a federal member for two decades. The MPPs who congratulated Scott included Tory Norman Miller, who two years ago won a byelection in the Muskoka riding once held by his father. Frank Miller, premier briefly in All of which is a long-winded way of getting to my point, which is: why the hypocrisy about marijuana? The federal New Democrats are doing backflips to distance themselves from their leader Jack Layton’s rather brave endorsement of the substance. Politicos of other stripes are puffing themselves up to solemnly intone how they’ve never touched the stuff - and who can forget Bill Clinton’s pathetic cavil, “I smoked, but I didn’t inhale.” Well, I did, Bill - and what’s more I don’t personally know a single adult - not one - who hasn’t tried pot at least once. It’s no big deal, folks. Let’s finally admit it. Am I advocating that everybody smoke pot? No. I don’t smoke it any more because it’s too expensive, not worth the hassle and it makes me stupid. When I’m on grass I have all the verve and panache of a rutabaga. It also makes me hungry and lazy - two conditions I have enough trouble grappling with when I’m clear­ headed. All I’m saying is: let’s stop being two-faced about it. Booze causes a hundred times the grief, bloodshed and property damage that pot does, but we turn a blind eye because through a fluke of justice and thanks to the twisted interpretations of seedy old perverts like J. Edgar Hoover and Alberta’s own Emily Murphy, alcohol is legal and marijuana isn’t. The Canadian legal system is woozily staggering towards righting this absurdity, but it’s not there yet, so think twice or even three times before you flout the law, even if the law is, to paraphrase Dickens, a demonstrable ass when it comes to weed. And if you must smoke, keep it down. Because I don’t want to have to put on my police hat and come over and bust you. 1985. Jim Brownell, a new Liberal, recalled his great-great-great-grandfather, John Brownell, was elected to the Parliament of Upper Canada, as the legislature was then called, in 1808. John Yakabuski, a new Tory from the Ottawa Valley, reminded his father Paul was an MPP for 24 years. He also paid tribute to his Liberal predecessor, Sean Conway, a renowned orator who retired after 28 years, and added Conway’s grandfather, Tom Murray, was an MPP from 1929-45 and “Sean is a cousin of mine.” Monique Smith, a Liberal elected in Harris’s former stronghold of North Bay is the daughter of Dick Smith, who held the seat three decades ago and is among the all-time nice guys of the legislature. They also join New Democrat Shelley Martel, who represents a riding held for 20 years by her father Elie, a fearless house leader, and is married to NDP leader Howard Hampton, which perhaps doubles their chance of continuing a dynasty. Ontario now has more MPPs whose parents served in the legislature than at any time in memory - the trend to criticize politicians more has not put them off. Final Thought No Santa Claus! Thank God, he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now. Virginia, nay. ten limes ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart ‘A> childhood. - Francis Pliarcellus Church from Is There a Santa Claus? (1897) Bonnie Gropp The short of it ______________________i Time to reflect Well here we are. the weeks of craziness behind us. So let me ask you - what are you doing now that it’s Christmas Eve? I, if all goes according to my best laid plans am safe within the bosom of home and family. Mark and I are looking forward to an evening at home to take in - finally - all the hours of decorating. Since we festooned our house in festive finery, there has' been absolutely no time to take pleasure from the sights of Christmas at home. As well, weather permitting we will be joined by at least some of our children and extended family. Leisurely repast taken and enjoyed we will relax, catch up on our news and be happy to be with people who know us - and love us anyway. This I then hope to be the prelude to a Rockwellian Christmas, family sharing in the joy of gift-giving, celebration and being together. As I write however, none of this has happened, of course. It is what 1 hope. My week leading up to this day has been, to say the least, interesting. It capped off a month of insanity where everything just seemed to collide. And just when I thought I was in wind-down mode, things only got crazier. In the past 14 days or so, I have seen the best and worst in me, and the best and worst in others. There were achievements, pleasures and surprises. However, there were also more than my share of challenges, frustrations and anxieties. I am therefore ready for my images of a warm and loving Christmas to be reality. However, I am also old enough, wise enough and practical enough to know it is unlikely to happen. It will be a time fraugh' with confusion and chaos. There will probably be the odd little squabble or misunderstanding. Trying to eke out as much time as I can with everyone, I will not have enough with any. Since leaving the office on Tuesday I. not much different than most people, will have been running at full tilt. It won’t be until Christmas night arrives that I get to fall exhausted onto the couch. There will then be a vague sense of anti-climax, so much anticipation, now so soon over. Thus, I recognize that my idealistic images of Christmas will be mixed with the realistic. It will be a holiday in which I may again see the best and the worst. There will be pleasures and surprises. But possibly some frustrations and anxieties. Accepting that it’s all out of my Control allows me to go with the flow. However, there is one image I arn going to try hard to make reality, that of me finding time on Christmas Eve for a little quiet introspection and reflection. When I look at the presents under the tree I will think of the good fortune of my family. I will think how they translate for me into the true spirit of Christmas. The time and thought put into the purchasing of that one gift, the feeling of pleasure when their expression after opening it lets you know you were right is one of the better feelings in life. When I look at the tree ornaments, given to my kids over the years I will be reminded, (not that I need to be) of how those four very unique, very wonderful young people have enriched my world and that it has been further brightened by our grandson. When 1 look at all that is around me. 1 will give the life built with my husband its proper due. And let the warmth 1 feel renew me and get me set for the busy time ahead.