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The Citizen, 2003-07-09, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JULY 9, 2003. PAGE 5. Other Views After all, stupid is as stupid does Strange as it may seem, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and formal education positively fortifies it. - Stephen Vizinczey James Watson doesn’t agree - and he’s definitely not stupid. Watson is a scientist and co-discoverer of the structure of DNA. He thinks human stupidity is no more mysterious than acne or hay fever — and just as treatable. Watson believes we’ve been looking at stupidity through the wrong end of the microscope. Stupidity isn’t a mental state, says Watson - it’s a disease — a disease he thinks will one day be corrected by gene therapy, just as other ‘disorders’ are now being addressed. “If you’re really, really stupid, I would call that a disease,” says Watson. “I’d like to get rid of stupidity.” Well, James, I’d wish you luck, except I wouldn’t mean it. I’m comfortable with human stupidity, mine included, and I don’t think I would recognize my species if you took it away. As far as I can tell, stupidity is hard-wired into the very warp and woof of humanity. I don’t think stupidity is a disease. I contend it is the very engine that drives the human race. And I believe our patron saints are Larry, Curly and Moe. Think of some of mankind’s stupefyingly magnificent blunders. Just consider our technological ‘advances’. • We invent low-nicotine tobacco. Smokers double their consumption of cigarettes. • To save a few bucks in cattle feed we turn cows into carnivores, feeding them, basically, shredded animal corpses. Thus creating epidemics of Mad Cow disease. Premier Eves uses the feds Premier Ernie Eves is trying to bring the federal Liberal government into his Ontario election campaign and hoping this will put a brake on his strongly-running provincial Liberal opponents. The Progressive Conservative premier has stepped up attacks on federal Liberals aiming to show some of their policies hurt Ontarians, particularly by short-changing them. More important, he wants also to connect them by association to provincial Liberal leader Dalton McGuinty, who is so far ahead in polls the premier can barely see him. Eves ironically became premier last year promising to promote more cordial relations with Ottawa and it was widely predicted he would become an “honest broker” in disputes. But times have changed and Eves pulled no punches when the federal Liberals offered a mere $250 million toward the province’s costs of coping with the SARS health epidemic, which it estimates at $1.1 billion. The Tories complained the federal Liberals insulted Ontarians, treated them as second- class citizens and has compensated other provinces more handsomely for natural disasters. Ottawa questioned the province’s bookkeeping and repeated old concerns, which still have some validity that when it gives Ontario’s current Tories money, they use it to provide tax cuts to attract votes. McGuinty does not want to seem reluctant to stand up for provincial interests and proposed an independent audit, but Tories called him a “pantywaist”, or wimp and apologist for Prime Minister Jean Chretien, which will hurt the Liberal leader if it sticks. The Tories, usually in power provincially, tried in earlier elections to portray their Liberal opposition as under the thumb of its federal party, which usually is in power federally, and • Sports researchers replace old-fashioned low-rise leather ski boots with high- tech molded plastic boots that reach half way up the calf • Ankle injuries decline • Knee injuries increase exponentially. • Car manufacturers introduce seat belts and air bags. Studies indicate that drivers who have them drive an average of 20 per cent faster. Stupidity. ’Twas ever thus. Look at some of our great historical stupidities: The Tower of Babel. France’s Maginot Line. The British Royal Family. Dan Quayle. And don’t think for a moment that Canada shirks its responsibility in the Stupidity Sweepstakes. Didn’t we give the world Joe Clark, a prime minister from the decidedly agricultural riding of High River, Alberta, who mystified an East Asian farmer (and his translator) by asking “What is the specificity of your acreage?” Didn’t we give the world Stockwell Day? Elsie Wayne? Bill Vander Zalm? Joey Smallwood? Mel Lastman? Wasn’t it Canadian legislators who gave birth to the Quebec Language Laws? Was it not this country that systematically and scientifically destroyed its own East Coast cod fishery? found it helped them. Eves’s predecessor, Mike Harris, warned if the Liberals were elected in Ontario, they would not stand up to Chretien and durable Tory premier William Davis said they would turn the province into a branch plant for prime minister Pierre Trudeau. Eves did not hesitate to trespass on federal jurisdiction when he wrote to U.S. President George Bush supporting his attack on Iraq, while federal Liberals and McGuinty opposed it. Eves showed he puts more value on longstanding ties to the U.S., which will strengthen his position among traditional supporters. Ontario has said it will not prosecute owners who fail to register guns, despite a federal law requiring this since July 1, while McGuinty supports the registry. Public safety minister Bob Runciman called the Liberal leader “an apologist for his big brothers in Ottawa, a lackey, sycophant and toady of the Liberal federal government, not someone who will stand up and fight for Ontario,” stopping just short of labelling him an agent for Al-Qaeda. Runciman expanded his assault by charging McGuinty’s Liberals are as weak on law-and- order, a theme the Tories claim as their own, as their federal counterparts. The Ontario Tories have hounded the federal And wasn’t it our leaders in Ottawa who hand crafted the gun registry, a colossal bureaucratic boondoggle aimed at registering every pellet gun and varmint rifle in the country that was supposed to cost a mere $ million or so and was last spotted rocketing past the $60 million dollar mark? Oh yeah - and it doesn’t work either. A government computer crashed not long ago and ‘lost’ the names of God knows how many Canadian firearms owners who had duly complied with the law. Seems to be something about compulsory gun registration that brings out the latent bungling bonehead in lawmakers everywhere. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel recently carried a story datelined Wisconsin, that told how legislators there created a special hotline for students a couple of years ago. The idea was, anytime a student saw a weapon on school property, he or she would call it in anonymously on the hotline. But after two years of operation the hotline received only seven calls — five pranks and two false alarms. The line costs $50,000 U.S. per year to operate. Critics note that in the event of a real report the call centre would then have to relay the information to the appropriate local police agency, resulting in a delay. In other words, the hotline makes it harder, not easier to deal with the problem of weapons in schools. Legislators are trying to pass a new bill to dismantle the hotline. To be replaced by? Well, one teacher suggested that perhaps the students might be encouraged to dial 911. That hot line system is already in place and costs 25 cents U.S. to activate. Liberals for delaying setting up a national registry of sex offenders, particularly since the murder of a 10-year-old girl in Toronto. The Tories have a provincial registry and Runciman accused the federal Liberals of moving at a snail’s pace and failing to recognize the need of families. The Tories even managed to get into name­ calling with Deputy Prime Minister and Finance Minister John Manley, not the most aggressive of ministers. Ontario Finance Minister Janet Ecker taunted the federal government “only has to worry about soldiers and fish” in negotiations over funding cities, and Manley countered this showed a pathetic lack of understanding of constitutional responsibilities. Manley started a dispute when he suggested the coming Ontario election may provide the federal government an opportunity to work more constructively with the province, but Eves tore back like a pit bull by accusing Manley of being “a shill for the provincial Liberals.” The Liberal federal government a few days ago gave money to keep open part of the provincially-owned, money-losing Ontario Northland railway, after negotiations to sell it fell through. But no-one from the province applauded - its agenda for an election is only attacking Ottawa. Final Thought Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach, 18. , - Mark Twain Bonnie Gropp The short of it Days are numbered With the welcome arrival of warmth and sunshine, I find my bliss. My back deck is my haven. From the first soothing ray of this season to the last, every opportunity I can find is spent with book, glasses and sunscreen, relaxed and tranquil, to enjoy the quiet and beauty around me. The television is off, the stove and oven are enjoying a rest. Meals are cooked outdoors to be partaken of alfresco. Dishes are delayed so optimal advantage can be taken of the pleasing temperatures and daylight. For months, I gamely weathered the storms of winter, knowing that the world would bloom again. I patiently grinned and beared it as spring struggled for supremacy, finding strength in the reality that it couldn’t stay cold forever, then pushing out memories of 1992 and the summer that never was. When summer finally did arrive this year, it was with a remarkable intensity that wrapped itself around my winter-battered soul, offering comfort and warmth. It drew me outside where I have taken up residence and am elated. At least I was until recently. Unfortunately, over the past couple of weeks my small taste of hedonism has been threatened. Our outdoor sanctuary has been invaded and we are being driven indoors earlier and earlier each evening by relentless marauders. I have come to accept that many things in life are not fair, but the arrival of mosquitoes is one big slap in the face. Summer, meant to be enjoyed, is fa; too short to be plagued by these nasty intruders. And as if their stinging bites weien’t bad enough, worse iS the knowledge that they are not just an annoyance, but potentially lethal. These pests have been transmitters of disease, from malaria to encephalitis, throughout the world for centuries. Now, just last week, a crow in nearby Clifford, tested positive for the West Nile virus. This means the deadly disease is within a very short distance from us — as the crow, or mosquito that bites it, flies. Health officials, while stressing that precautions be taken, also say the risk for becoming infected, and worse succumbing to the virus, is fairly low. However, it can’t be taken lightly. As an emerging disease, the long-term effects are not fully understood. There is no specific treatment, medication or cure. So we have followed the guidelines set by the health unit regarding mosquito control and protection. Of these it has been most frustrating to move ourselves indoors in the quiet twilight hours. Having cocooned away from the cold for roughly seven months, it is maddening to find myself in the same position because of a viciously persistent parasite. Maybe it’s narrow thinking on my part, but the world would be a better place without them. While I can’t do much about that, I can do something about my little comer of the world. My husband and I have discussed various methods of mosquito elimination, from bat houses to commercial solutions, and it would seem it is just a matter of time until steps are taken. So I issue a warning to my uninvited guests, enjoy the party while you still can. It is with great delight that I announce at least for some of you the days are numbered.